


Beautiful Disasters

by TheWitch_NextDoor



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst and Humor, Anxiety Disorder, Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Awkward Romance, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Child Abuse, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Drama & Romance, Eating Disorders, Eventual Romance, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gay Keith (Voltron), High School, Human Allura (Voltron), Human Coran (Voltron), Hunk & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Korean Keith (Voltron), LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Mental Disorder, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Multi, Past Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Pining Allura (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Drugs, Romance, Sad Shiro (Voltron), Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Sick Keith (Voltron), Slow Romance, Social Anxiety, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2018-12-02 17:16:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 174,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11513877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWitch_NextDoor/pseuds/TheWitch_NextDoor
Summary: Being a teen is a hard task in itself but when you pair that up with mental illnesses, society's harsh exceptations, and the need to discover oneself; you're in for a big ride. When given a chance at fixing their issues, six teens discover that the bad, bad world has more than one trick up its little sleeve when they find that they're not alone after all.Lance struggled with years of self harm and the thoughts of never being able to be enough for anyone.Keith finds himself trapped in the shadow of his past as he struggles to stay standing while his liver shuts down.Allura can't seem to find the courage to hide the bruises that show up on her skin like a tragic work of art.Shiro smiles to hide the pain that eats away at his mind in his every waking hour.Hunk fights the feeling of fear when he speaks to someone.Katie wonders when the world will stop lying to youth through Photoshop and gender norms





	1. The Beauty of High School (Lance)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story deals with mental illnesses, abusive relationships, drugs, alcohol abuse, suicidal ideation, depression, eating disorders, rape, child abuse, child sexual harassment and much more. The characters in this story each have their own personal problems like bulimia, cancer, anxiety disorder, dysthymia, PTSD, and gender dysphoria.
> 
> No disorders are romanticised in the story, in fact, there will be scenes that make you uncomfortable with how each thing is shown because I try my hardest to make it as accurate to their disorders as possible. I do not sugar coat anything except the serious bits and pieces like sexual assault in order to avoid any controversial subjects.
> 
> If at any point this story becomes too much for you please stop reading it because I will NOT be rewriting pieces to make it less realistic. Many scenes will make you feel anxious, paranoid, sick, or many other things. I just want to make sure that if anyone has PTSD or anything else that can be triggered through ANY of the things mentioned above, will read at their own risk and that I am not at fault for anything that happens to you. If at any time a disorder isn't properly portrayed please leave a comment telling me about it and I will try to fix it.
> 
> If there are any concerns or questions you have please leave them in the comments and I'll address them. I do not put trigger warnings before any of my chapters so please read at your own risk because you never know if the happier chapters will take a darker turn towards the end.
> 
> The sexualities and disorders of each character are listed below along with their schools (this is to avoid confusion in the future):
> 
> Lance- Pansexual, bulimic, Stellae High.
> 
> Keith- Gay, liver cancer, homeschooled.
> 
> Allura- Heterosexual, dysthymia, Initium Academy.
> 
> Hunk- Heterosexual, anxiety disorder, Stellae High.
> 
> Shiro- Bisexual, PTSD, Initium Academy.
> 
> Katie Holt/Pidge- Asexual, gender dysphoria, Brook High.
> 
> Aside from the details above I really hope everyone who chooses to continue reading this enjoys each and every chapter I put out. I love this fic and all the people who comment on here because it makes me feel happy knowing people enjoy my work. I started this story with a reason and I intend on finishing it for the same reason I intended on when I started; to show that these disorders aren't something people should romanticise or encourage having because many are life threatening and I hope you all can agree with me on this. No matter how much backlash I may receive in the future for this story it will not keep me from writing and I hope you all understand why.

Have you ever sat down and watched the clouds drift by slowly across the sky? If you did, you're bound to see a few misshaped clouds that struggled to keep up with the rest; Lance liked watching those rare ones out of the dozens of clouds he would see every day. Those rarities reminded him of him, they were weird and different from their family in the sky they lived in, kind of like how he was weird and different from the other students at school.

Except, unlike the clouds, Lance didn't have all the time in his life to drift along with the flow of the winds and relax. He had to avoid showing his face to the other kids who looked at him with disgust and amusement as if he were some freak show for them to watch perform. He dreaded each and every morning as he pushed himself out of bed and tried to pump himself up with music that was so out of date as he got dressed and brushed his hair. The only times he smiled were the moments he spent with his family that loved him so much that they would break their backs for him. Well all of them except for his twin sister, who didn't want anything to do with him outside of their house because of how much of an embarrassment he was.

He quietly sat in one of the bathroom stalls at school with a small bag of crackers in his lap as he hid away from the dark reality that haunted him outside. He hated even being alive sometimes, but he never wanted to make his mother cry or his father feel at fault for trying to make him manlier than what Lance already was (which wasn't much). He wished he could be a little cloud in the sky outside where he knew he wouldn't be judged for being different.

"I so scored with that girl I brought home from the party last night!" A voice exclaimed as the bathroom door creaked open to let some of those douchey jocks enter it in order for them to fix their hair and compare how many girls they snagged during the last 'crazy-as-hell' party.

Lance lost what little appetite he had and silently stuffed the food into his bag as he got up to leave. He didn't want to listen to anymore locker room talk that the jocks at school always did. It was annoying and disgusting to even listen to how they ranked the girls in their grades. They had these lists where they wrote girl's names in order from the 'thickest' to the skinniest and least desirable and as a cruel joke they would always put Lance's name on it and stick it in his locker for him to find it. Lance slipped his black bag over his shoulders and put his blue hoodie over his thin brown locks of hair and peeked through the gap of the stall to calculate his escape route. There were only two of them that he could see, Lotor Colombo and Chase VanHalen. They were Lance's least favorites of course, just his luck.

He silently twisted the silver lock to the bathroom door and tried to slip out quietly without being notice. If there was one thing Lance learned during his two and a half years of high school it was that the best times to avoid jocks were when they were discussing sports or how many girls they managed to bang in a week. Basic douchebag things.

"No way, wasn't she like number three on the list?" Lotor asked Chase as he combed out his long, white hair. Lance would place a bet on his own life in favor of Lotor hair having way more hair products in it than any normal girl's hair. "I thought we all agreed the top five were off limits unless it's prom season."

Chase rolled his green eyes and fixed his stupid anchor printed button up shirt before he pulled a comb from his salmon colored shorts. "Oh please, Brandon took down Hailey like two weeks ago and she's number two on the list but no one complains when he does it."

Lance rolled his blue eyes in disgust as he sulked by the two boys aiming for the closed bathroom door. It was a risk he thought was worth taking because the only on the line was his pathetic life, but of course with the bad luck he had, his shoe made a squeaking noise causing him to stiffen up where he stood. "Oh shit," he whispered bitterly as he glared down at his black shoes with anger.

"Oh hey it's number fifteen," Chase laughed in amusement as Lance rushed to get to the door only for it to be blocked by the much faster football player that he hated.

Sneering at him from above stood Lotor with his freshly brushed hair and golden eyes full of sinister intent, "Were you eavesdropping on us little lady?" He chuckled evilly.

Little lady and fifteen, those were his most common nicknames here in his high school. Like every girl, he had a number but unlike them, he was actually referred to by his number or by the crappy name 'little lady'. "I'm just trying to go get some lunch, I didn't hear a single thing," Lance grinded his teeth together as he tried to ignore the fact that if he screwed up he would be getting the worst pounding that he had ever received in his life. 

Lotor tugged Lance's hood off and slammed him against a wall, "Oh don't give us your dumbass excuses, everyone knows you just come in here to throw up those stale crackers you snack on in your bag," he placed his hand on Lance's throat in order to keep the slightly shorter student from trying to escape.

Lance looked down at the white and black tiled floor in shame as they began to have their fun with him. He couldn't help that he felt so disgusted with himself whenever he ate. He wasn't desirable to anyone unless he was skinny, "I say we check out his waist to see if he's brought himself down to number sixteen on the list or not!" Chase stated with a simple nod at Lotor.

Lotor laughed as he unzipped Lance's blue hoodie and opened it to expose his white shirt under it, "Let's see what you are fifteen," He mused mockingly as he tugged up the hem of Lance's shirt as the junior squirmed in the senior's grip. He couldn't do anything as long as the quarterback had his hands on his little neck. "I'd say since the last check, he's actually a fourteen!" Lotor said with surprise in his eyes.

Lance pursed his lips slightly, "You're acting pretty gay right now, are you sure you don't want to add me to the list of girls you've been with?" He managed to wink even though he was shaking in fright.

Lotor's face screwed up in rage and frustration as he dropped Lance's shirt back onto him. "What the fuck did you just say McClain?" His voice trembled in rage as he strengthened his grip around Lance's throat.

Lance began to choke now as he clawed at Lotor's stupid hand that was wrapped around his throat as it cut off his airway. "Hey, we still got class after this Lotor so let's not have to make up another lie to principal Madrid about what we were doing in the bathroom to avoid an expulsion," Chase stated as he pushed off the door and placed a hand on Lotor's forearm gently.

Lance's vision was starting to go fuzzy and his lungs were screaming for air by the time that Lotor reluctantly released him allowing the small boy to drop to the floor coughing and gasping for air. The two douchebags left the bathroom rather quickly, leaving Lance on the floor as he clutched at his throat.

When he finally caught his breath he leaned back against the blue wall and stared up at the cheap, water stained roof above him with a smoke detector smack dab in the middle to keep people from smoking pot in the restrooms during class time, which set off the alarms about once a month every year because people were too stupid to learn to wait until after school. He swallowed down hard as he zipped up his hoodie again and crossed his arms over his chest.

Sometimes the thought crossed his mind; What if I were normal? He wouldn't have to worry about sneaking off during lunch to be bent over the toilets in the bathroom as he coughed up whatever he had eaten that day, he wouldn't have to worry about being bullied for being too femininely shaped, and he wouldn't have to make his sister embarrassed to be seen talking to him. He would have a girlfriend who loved him for who he was, he would be doing well in school and not have to worry about not falling asleep during class, and best of all he would never have to be bullied by those assholes on the sports teams anymore. That was just a fantasy though, wasn't it?

He was stuck living his pathetic life where he's disgusted by his own figure and couldn't keep himself from purging his stomach after he overate during a family dinner; he was disgusting. "Let's get going then," Lance mumbled quietly to himself as he stepped out into the commons area where the vending machines were at. 

The bell had rung sometime during the torture session inside of the bathroom, but his fifth period consisted of boring history lectures about World War Two and Vietnam, which would definitely put Lance to sleep without a doubt. He dreaded school, but he wanted to go to college and become a teacher for some ungodly reason that no one knew. Instead of being forced to go to class by one of the teachers on lunch duty that acted as if they ran the school, the intercom switched on and gave Lance a free ticket out of jail.

"Lance McClain to guidance please, Lance McClain," The voice said.

Lance didn't waste a second as he quickly steered towards the courtyard, ignoring the fact that one of the teachers on duty was yelling at him over his hood being on and went straight towards the guidance entrance tucked away in a corner next to some trees that decorated the outside area where students ate most of the time. He went to guidance almost every month to talk about his grades and health because the school 'cares' so much about the students even though the disciplinarians didn't do a thing about bully reports.

Lance opened the door and was greeted by the happiest person he had ever seen in his life. It was a parent volunteer with a blonde bob haircut and expensive jewelry on, "Hello there, darling!" She exclaimed upon seeing Lance enter through the doors. "What brings you here?" She asked as she seated herself in front of her computer and placed her rectangular glasses onto her nose.

"I was called down to talk to Mrs. Penn, so I'll just go on in if that's fine," Lance shrugged as he pushed his hood off of his head.

The woman pursed her lips slightly and peered at him from behind the reception counter where students could make requests for their manuscripts and whatnot. "Hmmm," she raised an eyebrow as she looked Lance over slowly before giving him a displeased look once she was done sizing him up. "Normal door, go ahead kiddo," she pointed down the hallway with her pen and started texting on her phone.

Lance politely thanked her before he left her to do her own thing. Even if he was familiar with the junior guidance counselor to the point he could talk to her about his personal life with family without worrying, he couldn't help but feel nervousness creeping up from the pits of his stomach to nest itself in his chest, making it feel tighter than when he had worn a suit two sizes too small for a family dinner. It sounds like something someone would make up, but trust him on this one; he would never lie about wearing a suit two sizes too small. It was hell.

He knocked on the oak door with the nameplate on it reading 'Tamara Penn'. He then slowly opened it and stuck his head inside to see a black haired woman with a book in front of her face, staring at him with cold eyes as if she were expecting someone else rather than her problematic student she talked to all the time. Lance smiled awkwardly and closed the door behind him before he seated himself in that familiar cheap plastic chair across from the now smiling Mrs. Penn.

"I thought you were Mr. Brown coming in to see if I wanted to get coffee with him again," Mrs. Penn laughed as she set her book down. She was absolutely breathtaking today, she had smoky eyeshadow on and crimson lipstick that suited her pale complexion and she was wearing her favorite white dress today. She was having a date night with her husband, or that was what Lance was going to place his money on. "I was so going to shut him down again, he's such a wolf!" She scoffed.

Lance scoffed and tried to ignore how unprofessional his counselor was acting. He picked at his denim jeans quietly and shifted in his chair, "What did you want to talk to me about today Mrs. Penn? I was here just last week, so am I in some type of trouble or something?" Lance jumped straight to the worst case scenario; it was his signature style.

Mrs. Penn shook her head as black hair fell over her shoulders gently. "Oh that's not why you're here Lance, in fact," she smiled and Lance tried to not physically cringe at the red lipstick on her front tooth. She leaned over in order to open a drawer in her desk and rummage around in it with her brown eyes full of seriousness. She pulled out a pamphlet and slid it across the table for Lance, "This is why you're here today."

As the counselor placed her fingertips together and smiled at Lance with happiness, he felt his heart sink into his empty stomach. It was a pamphlet for a support group called 'Scott's Sunshine Support Group'. What a stupid name first of all, and secondly its logo was the sun with a giant smile on its face as it winked and gave the thumbs up sign. Double gross.

Lance lifted the pamphlet up from the table with his fingertips almost as if it were his brother's dirty diaper and looked it over fairly quickly before setting it down to look at the woman in front of him with discomfort. "What is it?" He asked.

"A support group for teens suffering from mental illnesses and disorders such as yours," Mrs. Penn stated as she flipped open the pamphlet to show Lance pictures of the activities the people did in the support group. She went on and on about everything the group did and what they aimed to strive for with their program and why it was worth the money. "I talked to the head counselor and he said that the group meeting tomorrow had two spots still available that meet every Saturday and Wednesday. He wanted you to come and try it out for free of course."

Lance stared at Mrs. Penn before looking down at the cheesy pamphlet before looking back at his counselor again. "I'd rather not," He stated bluntly and began to gather his things wanting to run to history class before Mrs. Penn shoved the thing down his throat. "I don't get along with people my age so I don't think that would be a good option for me."

Mrs. Penn raised a waxed brow in distaste as she closed the pamphlet and handed it to Lance, "I called your mother about it and she was more than delighted to enroll you into the course. The deed has already been done, Lance," She sighed dreadfully and watched as Lance timidly took the support group information from her. "Sorry to go behind your back but I knew you were going to decline it so I took matters into my own hands."

Lance reluctantly took the pamphlet from the woman's hands and looked down at the disgustingly happy sun smiling back at him. Lance frowned slightly before he finally excused himself and began walking to class as he put the stupid thing into his backpack quietly. If Mrs. Penn had told his mother, surely she really was excited and enrolled Lance into this program; she always wanted to help him. He couldn't help but feel thankful for having a mother like her even if she did put him into a program that was absolutely a waste of time without asking his permission because she would literally break her back just to make sure he was happy in life. He smiled slightly to himself, 'maybe this wasn't a bad thing?' He thought to himself as he walked through the lunchroom to get to the main hallway. 'Maybe I'll meet some people there that will like me for me rather than hate me for my problems; I mean we'll all be suffering from something...'

History class was wild when he opened the door to see his teacher behind his desk playing on a Nintendo DS with headphones on while the other side of the room sat on their phones talking about things that were not very appropriate for the class. Lance seated himself in front of the teacher's desk which was the only safe area there before he rested his head on the desk and closed his eyes, before falling asleep.

There wasn't anything special about that day until he got home; home was always different. When he and his sister Marcia stepped off the bus to walk up to their driveway, the two of them were greeted by three kids who all varied in age. "Marcia!" The two boys shouted as they threw themselves onto the tall girl.

Marcia was Lance's twin; she looked almost like him except for the whole being the female thing. She had long brown hair she curled all the time, bright blue eyes, dark skin, and even freckles spotting across her face. She was fun to be around when they were at home but it was a silent agreement that Lance wasn't allowed to talk to her at school, ever. She scooped up the two children and laughed, "Patrick, Christian, how are my boys?" She laughed.

The only girl, however, ran straight towards her big brother with something in her hands. "Lancey!" Heidi exclaimed as he lifted her up.

She was only five unlike the other two who were four and six, and she would only wear dresses and jewelry all the time claiming that it was what the 'cool girls' wore in her class. Lance walked with his little sister towards his house feeling his muscles beginning to ache from holding her, "What's that in your hands, Heidi?" He asked with a gentle tone.

The brunette girl placed something on top of Lance's head and giggled as her brown eyes stared at him in excitement, "I made you a flower crown today since we got sent home early from school," Heidi stated triumphantly as Lance stepped onto the front porch while Marcia walked straight inside of the open front door. "Mommy said movie night will start at five since you have to go to this thing for school tomorrow too."

Lance frowned slightly as he adjusted the flower crown on his head. Every Friday in the McClain home was movie night, but it always started at eight at night on the dot, that was a tradition. The fact that his mother moved the time to three hours earlier for him of all people made him uncomfortable. He didn't like being favored by his mother but he couldn't stop her from doing what she wanted to do. She was a stubborn woman.

He placed his little sister down onto the hardwood floor and slid his bag off of his shoulders before hesitating when he saw the corner of pamphlet sticking out of his bag slightly. Heidi managed to get his attention away from the winking sun when she tugged on his hoodie, "Can we draw together while we wait for dinner Lancey?" She asked with wide brown eyes full of hope.

Lance was a giant teddy bear so he couldn't just tell his siblings no whenever they wanted to do something with him. He knelt down and ruffled Heidi's brown hair, "Why not, I don't have any homework to do so let's spend time together!" He smiled.

Before they even went to the living room, Lance's older sibling rushed by with a look of worry on his freckled face. "Where's Christian!" He exclaimed with wide brown eyes. 

Vincent was a teacher at the elementary school that Lance's siblings and nephew attended. He was a fourth-grade teacher and specialized in writing so he was always busy in his room trying to make fun worksheets for his students for when they had to write short stories. He was tall and lanky like their father with a curly mess of brown hair and mocha colored eyes just like Heidi. Christian, the child he was searching high and low for, was his son who had been with Marcia a few moments before. Christian was a spitting image of Vincent except for his green eyes he got from his mother who left Vincent two years ago.

Lance frowned as he stood up straight to look at his brother, "Marcia just had him, why?" He asked as Heidi grabbed his hand to tug on it trying to pull her brother into the other room.

Vincent let out an exasperated sigh and tugged on his ear like he always did whenever he was stressed out. "That little rascal was supposed to be cleaning his room, not playing with his aunt!" He exclaimed with annoyance.

Lance chuckled slightly and smiled at his elder brother, "Kids will be kids right Vinny?" He stated.

"You just wait until you're a father Lance, you're going to be just like me," Vincent's shoulders drooped down as he whined out loud, "It's the worlds hardest job, you know!"

Lance rolled his eyes playfully at his brother and began to walk away with his little sister tugging him along, "I'm never going to be a father for that reason!"

Heidi turned around to look at Lance with teary eyes suddenly. Her bottom lip was trembling as she stared at him, "But I want to have a niece, you have to have a baby Lancey! I demand you too!" She whined with a sad look on her face as if Lance had betrayed her by refusing to have any kids of his own.

Vincent began laughing as Lance tried to make sure his baby sister didn't cry, "I-I meant right now Heidi!" He exclaimed as his ears grew red, "I'll have children when I'm older but I'm still in High school, I don't even have a girlfriend!"

"No!" Heidi grabbed Lance's hoodie and tugged on it making him nearly fall over. He caught the flower crown and readjusted it as his sister began crying out loud, "I want a niece!" 

Lance was about ready to fall over with how Heidi was pulling on him so roughly as she screamed in a mixture of sadness and frustration. This was his daily life with his family that consisted of; a little sister that constantly demanded things, a brother who was all over the place, a twin that acted like he didn't exist, a little brother that would take bugs from outside and put it into Heidi's hair or even in the kitchen, a nephew who always did the opposite of what you wanted, and a mother who somehow managed to keep up with everything without dying early from stress.

"Dinner is ready, come and eat!" His mom shouted from the kitchen and suddenly Heidi's tears stopped and were replaced with a smile.

Heidi crawled onto Lance's body and forced him to hold the small girl, "Dinner time Lancey!" She exclaimed.

Lance made a bilious face as he sulked, "So that makes you happy?" He mumbled before he walked his little sister to the kitchen with Vincent right on his heels as he checked room after room for Christian.

His mother was a petite woman with long locks of curly brown hair that she always kept up in a bun whenever she cooked. She loved wearing dresses just like Heidi, but they had to have a floral print. No exceptions. She was someone Lance truly admired and would always write essays about why she was his hero if that was the writing prompt. She was just the kindest, gentlest, and loving woman he had ever met in his life; his father was stupid to leave her when she had Patrick.

His mother had placed curry dishes onto the table, today was 'Funky Friday' where she would make something new every Friday without telling her kids and grandchild what it was and then they would watch movies until they all fell asleep together in the living room. "Wow," breathed Vincent as he walked into the kitchen and kissed their mother's freckled cheek as a greeting, "This looks and smells absolutely exquisite!" He was nearly drooling as he took his seat to ogle at the food.

Lance's mom smiled happily in delight, "I'm glad it came out well enough for a compliment, sweetie," she said with a chipper tone before looking over at Lance. 

She had blue eyes like him, Marcia, and Patrick, but everyone else got her freckles and curly hair. Lance normally managed to brush his hair out enough to make the waves in his hair disappear but towards the end of the day, it would start to look wavy once more. "Hey, mom!" Lance gave her a greeting kiss on her cheek before he set Heidi down on the floor so she could hop onto the chair across from Vincent.

"Oh honey, you look so tired today," the short woman placed her hands on Lance's cheeks in concern as she looked him over carefully. "Have you been able to keep anything down today?" His thin brows knitted together in worry which made Lance feel guilty.

He reached up and ruffled his own hair in guilt; it was his own ways of dealing with the stress like how Vincent tugged on his ear. "Of course Mamá, I wouldn't do anything to worry you," he forced himself to smile down at his mother who looked saddened by the fact he had lied to her.

Vincent played with his fork as he waited for the rest of the family to arrive for dinner, "Don't lie to mother," he lifted his fork and pointed it at Lance before he hardened his gaze, "I'll filet you if you hurt her feeling, Lancey."

Lance scowled as he looked at his elder brother, "Fine, I haven't been able to keep anything down, but I'll make sure to eat as much as I can tonight and I'll keep it down just for you," he looked back at his mother and offered a small smile.

His mother, Maria, sighed deeply as she stroked his cheek with her hand, "Don't force yourself, Lance," she whispered before glancing over at the teapot-shaped clock, "You've got that thing to go tomorrow anyway so I want you in bed by eight okay?"

Lance's eyes widened slightly as he looked at his mother in surprise, "At eight? But it's movie night, mamá!" He exclaimed in shock. They never broke traditions, not even once.

Maria pointed her index finger at Lance and puffed her cheeks out as she took on a more serious tone trying to act bigger than what she actually was. "Listen here young man," she began, "I don't care if it's tradition or not, you're going to get enough sleep tonight in order to get up early tomorrow!"

Heidi laughed as she swung her feet back and forth under the table, "Lancey is getting yelled at by mamá!" She said in a singsong voice.

"Well you're about to get a head full of bugs, so I wouldn't make fun of other people, Heidi," Vincent stated as he took a sip of water and pointed behind Heidi.

Behind the six-year-old was Patrick, the older one of the two and he was creeping up on the young girl with a centipede in his hand. "Patrick no!" Maria shouted as she turned her attention away from Lance and tried to stop the boy from torturing his little sister which ultimately failed as Heidi began screaming when the centipede was dropped onto her head.

Lance slouched slightly as he watched his mother try to get the bug out of a crying Heidi's hair while she scolded Patrick who laughed uncontrollably. Patrick had a gap between his front teeth which gave everyone something to pick on him about, but he had their father's black hair and their mother's blue eyes and freckles. Among the chaos, Marcia decided to make an appearance as she snuck around lance wearing a black sweatshirt and a pair of ripped jeans. Lance frowned as he watched her grab the keys to the family car without even asking permission. 

Just as she turned away to leave through the garage door, Lance reached out and grabbed her wrist with a frown, "Where are you going, Marcia?" He asked.

Marcia looked back at Lance with so much disgust in her eyes Lance nearly let her go in surprise. Her blue eyes were bright and she was wearing thick amounts of makeup and contour on her face so that she looked like one of those beauty gurus on Instagram she always watched while her freckles were practically nonexistent. "None of your business, puke boy," she grunted and ripped her hand away from Lance's grip.

He felt as if a heavy stone had been dropped onto his body as he tried to process what his sister had just said to her. The room was still in chaos as Maria tried to calm her kids down, but Vincent had heard and was now frowning at his sister in annoyance, "Marcia, get over yourself," He scoffed at the teen. "Get over your issues with Lance already it's been four years since you started this stupid attitude of yours. He is family and even if he has different... habits from the others it doesn't change the fact that he's your twin."

'Habits,' Lance almost felt like laughing out loud at that, 'So that's what they see my disorder as?' Marcia glared at Vincent with cold blue eyes as she puffed out her chest in anger. Her filled in brows were dipped down in absolute rage as she decided to voice her own opinion, "I don't care if he's family, he's a freak that does nothing but embarrasses me at school!" She exclaimed before she pushed Lance out of the way and began walking out of the house, "I'm going to a friend's house for the night, bye."

Lance stood in the middle of the kitchen as Marcia slammed shut the door in a huff. The room had fallen into an uncomfortable silence as they all stared at the garage door that was connected to the kitchen. This usually happened, Marcia would pitch a fit with Lance whenever he tried to do something out of worry of her own safety and then the entire family would be involved with it. It always ended in the same way though; Lance would go to his room early and skip dinner.

"What a brat," Vincent hissed as he turned his attention to Lance, "Why don't we just have dinner and talk about what we want to watch tonight then, shall we?" He tried to get his brother to come join them, but it didn't work.

Lance shook his head and clenched his jaw before he smiled at his family who looked genuinely concerned, "No, I'm actually really tired so I'll go to bed early and eat a big breakfast tomorrow, 'Kay?" He didn't even wait for a reply before he rushed out of the kitchen and over to the front hall before he bounded up the staircase to go to his room.

"Lance," Maria shouted as she shuffled over to the end of the staircase, "Sweetie she didn't mean it, come back!"

It didn't matter how much any of his family members would shout for him to come back for dinner because in the end he would stay locked up in his room; alone. His room wasn't anything special, kind of like him. It only had a small bed big enough for him and Heidi whenever she had bad dreams; a TV sat across the room on top of his dresser with a PlayStation and a few games next to it. That was it aside from the old movie posters he had on his grey walls for decoration. He slipped off his hoodie and dropped it onto his white rug before he fell into his bed and stared up at the ceiling. There were silver clouds painted onto it with a blue background, he loved the ceiling so much because all the clouds showed different shapes and none were exactly alike. He liked this because it reminded him that no two people are the same like he and Marcia were complete opposites.

So, have you ever looked up at the sky and watched the clouds as they whisked by? If you did there would be a chance that a cloud passing by would be a little misshaped unlike the rest; those were always the best. They were unique.

Uniqueness in this world was rare and it deserved to be appreciated, didn't it?

Lance closed his eyes and imagined the unique little cloud on his ceiling. Maybe the support group would help him through this 'habit' of his. Maybe then Marcia would be able to smile at him like how they used to before the end of middle school. Or perhaps he could find people there that would accept him for who he was.

That would be a blessing from God himself, wouldn't it?


	2. Our Family Trip to Jail (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is introduced into the story and well, he's not a Mr. Sunshine.

Guilt. That was a tricky concept, wasn't it? Guilt is usually defined as that heavyweight inside one's stomach when they realize they've done something terrible that has made other's suffer at the expense of your own selfishness. Guilt was the distinguishing factor between right and wrong, wasn't it? If you did something bad, you'd feel guilty when you wouldn't if you had done the right thing.

That was what Keith had thought, but who knew what guilt meant to him at this point since he sat in a police station with handcuffs on his hands as he whistled to himself. He didn't feel guilty for stealing the stuff he had taken, so did that make it right? He didn't care either way; he was doing something that he wanted to do and to regret doing these things would be like regretting trying to live.

He sat next to a giant, burly man with an ugly scar going across his face that was wearing camouflage pants with tan boots and an old wife beater shirt. Keith's whistling stopped slowly as he lifted his purple eyes to look up at the man's brown ones that were staring at him with such intensity that he looked away almost immediately and pursed his lips in worry. 

Then he slowly looked back up, "So," he drew out the 'o' as his eyes trailed down the man's outfit as he noticed blood on his knuckles. "What's up with your style?" He asked without thinking much about the fact that this man could have probably beaten him to a pulp in a second if they weren't both in handcuffs.

The man breathed out slowly making Keith's skin crawl, "Paintball," his voice sounded like he smoked a pack a day and his breath definitely supported that thought. The man's brown eyes wandered over Keith's body slowly, "What's with the Marilyn Manson getup?" He scoffed.

Keith looked down at his clothes in response. He was wearing black torn jeans, an MCR shirt and he had eyeliner on; he was trying new things, what do you expect? "Oh, my parents call it a phase, but I actually kind of like it y'know," Keith laughed slightly as he raised his cuffed hands into the air, "I'm here for shoplifting how about you?"

"Someone cheated in paintball, so I taught him a lesson or two," the man smiled triumphantly as if beating the hell out of someone was perfectly normal for him.

Keith smiled in admiration, "Sweet," he nodded before he sat up. "I hate cheaters who think they can get away with whatever they want. They deserve cold, hard justice to be served to them by a man like you!" He stated. He was a brown noser at heart and since he often came to the San Antonio police station, it didn't hurt to suck up to criminals. Right?

The man seemed to be very pleased with this as he smirked slightly, "Cheaters deserve the death penalty, especially those who cheat on their significant others."

Okay maybe this guy was a bit out there, but hey, Keith shouldn't judge others for their personal beliefs. They should be judged by their actions, but by that logic, this guy failed at both. Yikes. "I hate those types of people, I had a boyfriend that cheated on me the last time I had cancer; what a fucker he was."

The man raised a nonexistent eyebrow, "You're gay?" He asked in a disgusting voice.

Keith looked at him with a bleak face, "Even a blind man could tell I'm gay buddy, I mean I give off the gay vibes you get me?" Keith used his hands to talk as he fought against the restrictions of the handcuffs. "Being gay isn't a problem for you is it, discount Louis Armstrong?"

The man stared at Keith in confusion as he narrowed his eyes slightly, "Gay isn't a problem, but who is Louis Armstrong, and did you kill the guy who cheated on you?"

"Nah, I catfished the motherfucker," Keith leaned back in his seat and sighed deeply as he remembered how he made his ex drive two hours away to a cracker barrel out in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes it was fun serving revenge on a fake Instagram. "And Louis Armstrong is just a joke, kind of like the Marilyn Manson one you said a few minutes ago."

"I would've gutted him and sent his body parts to the guy he cheated on you with," The man stated nonchalantly.

Keith swallowed down his nervousness and sat up straight before he nudged the guy, "I like your style, want to give me your number in case I need someone to hide a dead body?" He joked.

"I don't like boys like you."

"Okay then, not what I meant but that's fine."

The two of them sat in silence as the receptionist stared at Keith with his beady eyes. He was named Jeremy; he was a skinny guy that definitely didn't fit in with any of the gorgeous police officers that walked around the office with paperwork or criminals they've got to make reports about. He was maybe about two inches taller than Keith and paler than the lighter side of the moon; if Keith didn't know his name, he would have mistaken him as Casper the friendly ghost or some stupid shit. He had greased back blonde hair and dark brown, almost black eyes that screamed murder. He hated Keith and the feeling was mutual.

The front doors to the police station were nearly busted down as a tall woman in heels shuffled inside wearing her disgusting Prada shades, a pink blouse, a pencil skirt, and black heels she definitely didn't need. She was blonde and wore too much makeup for her own good, but the moment Keith saw her, he felt himself trying to hide behind the big guy before she could see him.

"Keith!" Her brown eyes locked onto the short teen and she nearly busted into tears as she rushed into the station to hug her son tightly, and against his will. She pulled away and began to shower his pale skin in pink lipstick as she kissed him repeatedly, "I thought my little boy was done for this time, oh my gosh why do you worry me so!" 

"Why so dramatic?" Keith grumbled as he managed to get away from his mother to see his father walking inside in his black suit and black hair ruffled. Where Keith got his short genetics was a mystery since they weren't his birth parents.

Close behind his father was his blonde sister who looked annoyed by the fact she had been dragged all the way out here for another Keith related problem. "You can't keep doing these things when you're as sick as you are darling," His mother whined as she stroked his black mullet and tried to keep her tears at bay, "What if your liver acted up when you were out in that dangerous world? My little model wouldn't have anyone to help him!"

How disgusting. She only cared about her son's career and his appearance, what an amazing mother. "Sandra, let the boy go and get those cuffs off of him!" Frederick barked as he looked at the receptionist and pulled out his bulging wallet for cash to pay off the bail for his son.

Sandra reluctantly released her son and ran off to fetch an officer while Keith's sister frowned at him with her arms crossed over her chest. She was in her tennis uniform still meaning that her lessons were cut short because of his stupid antics. Vivian was a year younger than him but she was big in the modeling industry just like him and aimed to become a famous tennis player, she was halfway there. She looked exactly like her mother apart from her brown eyes she got from her weasel looking father. She mouthed the words 'Nice going dipshit' to him and rolled her eyes when Keith shrugged.

"Hey, you should grow a luscious mustache you know," Keith told the creepy man he had been sitting next to him while an officer took the cuffs off of him as his mother cried. "I think it'd take away from your menacing look and totally get you a girl... or guy. Whatever you're into," Keith winked as he walked over to stand next to his sister who was the only person in the family he could stand.

"What's he here for? Murder?" Vivian asked as she popped a bubble with the bubblegum she started to chew.

Keith laughed slightly, "Maybe next time he'll be in for murder, but sadly, no," Keith bit his bottom lip and frowned as he watched his parents fill out paperwork, "He beat up someone who cheated during a game of paintball."

"Hardcore," Vivian smirked as she nudged her older brother.

She wasn't all that bad despite her hardass look. She was someone that Keith could talk to for hours on end about boys and stupid people they had to work with on set or even about the lame gossip in his 'friend' group he stuck around with solely because they gave him excitement in his life that he couldn't get enough of. She wore polos and khaki shorts most of the time especially when she has to spend time with their parents in public, but at home when she wasn't practicing tennis, Vivian enjoyed wearing pajama pants and an old ripped T-shirt with her blonde hair in a bun and no makeup on her face.

"Totally hardcore," Keith agreed as he giggled next to her.

"We're getting really tired of seeing your kid here," Jeremy began as he ran a hand through his slicked back hair, "We can't keep his record clean once he's eighteen you know."

Frederick pursed his lips as he signed paperwork without much haste, "Just take the money and shut up about it already," He barked.

Sandra rolled her eyes before she looked at greasy Casper, "I apologize for my husband, he's having a bad day at the studio and we know we have to get his act straightened out, but you wouldn't understand what it meant to have a job and two kids to look after, would you?" She asked with a cringe-worthy laugh.

Jeremy stared at Sandra with annoyance before he reached behind the counter and pulled out a pamphlet, "The chief wants your son to be enrolled in this program, it's supposed to help kids with issues like his," he handed the colorful thing to Keith's mother who looked it over slowly before opening it.

"Oh my, what a cheap price for a year worth of this?" Sandra gasped out loud as if she couldn't believe her eyes which she probably couldn't since she never used money when the price was below seventy dollars. "This actually seems like a good thing to put Keith into, honey," Sandra said with excitement.

Keith frowned, "What is it?"

"A support group for kids suffering from illnesses and everyday things," Sandra smiled at Keith. 

Keith felt disgust creep up his body as he cringed, "There's no way I'm going to any support group to talk about my fucked up life with other fucked up kids," He growled before crossing his arms over his chest.

Vivian raised a blonde eyebrow as she stared at her mother in surprise. Sandra had never ever shown any interest in helping Keith through this the troubles he was having with trying to deal with getting cancer for the second time in a row. She only showed an interest if it could boost his career or fix a problem with his appearance.

Sandra shrugged as she pulled out her phone and texted the number provided on the pamphlet, "I wasn't asking what you wanted Keith, I'm the adult so I decide what's best for you."

Keith felt infuriated as his nails dug into his arms. He was pissed. Sandra always did this, she acted like she cared one moment, but when something interested her she became cold towards Keith and pursued only her selfish interests rather than listening to what Keith wanted. "Keith," Vivian smiled gently as she placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "You know how mom is, there's no reason to try to argue with her you know."

Keith frowned as he relaxed slightly, she was right and he hated it. For once in his life, he wanted to find his true self and not the identity his parents forced him to take on as a stupid model in their company. He had cancer for the second time now, who knew what could happen to him this time around or if it would ever end. There could be a third time he had this, or possibly a fourth. It could be a never-ending cycle for him and that thought scared him every time, so instead of spending his life like how his parents wanted him to, he went out and did reckless things to feel like he was different from his public identity. He wanted to be free.

"Fine," he sighed before he stuffed his hands into his pockets roughly. He wanted to go home already and relax in his room to play video games, watch TV, and eat for the rest of the day. "Can I have my phone back now?" He raised his purple gaze to the receptionist and stepped closer to him with his hand held out.

"Well I guess I have to give it to you don't I, kid?" Jeremy plopped Keith's smartphone into his hand and scowled as he watched the teen walk away.

The very first thing Keith did was check his texts to find his 'friends' talking in the group chat he was in with them;

Guy #1: srry bt Keith getting arrsted wuz his fault OK?

Girl w/pigtails: I thought it wuz rlly cool tho XD

That one guy: wutevs...

Keith cringed slightly as he read the texts; did they not know how to speak like normal people? Keith never took time to put their real names into his contacts just like everyone else he ever texted, they were just going to move on from their friendship eventually once they realized Keith wasn't as cool as his career made him see; he was boring and bland. That's why he was trying new things.

"Emo kids again?" Vivian asked as she peeked over at his phone.

"Yeah," Keith mumbled as he locked his phone.

The ride home was nothing less than annoying as Sandra raved about this 'Scott's Sunshine Support Group' she enrolled Keith into for the next day. It was a place where they turned kids with fucked up issues into an honorary citizen with only positivity to spread to the world around them so it was basically like a pray the gay away camp, but for teens who have mental or emotional issues that were year round.

Keith was not looking forward to it; all he could imagine was seeing emotional jackasses there who would whine about their daddy issues or even how they were self-conscious over their body image; stuff Keith couldn't give two shits about. They were probably all special snowflakes who acted like the world was out to get them, you know the modern day teen.

Once they arrived at his house Keith went straight to his room before he locked his door and collapsed onto his bed with a sense of dread. It was already night time and he held no motivation to leave the room unless it was to go sit in the private garden outside of his room where he enjoyed spending his time at when he wasn't raising hell on the streets with his 'emo' friends who would cry over My Chemical Romance or another emo band.

Keith loved the feeling he got when he was around those three delinquents that often got him into trouble; he felt like he was alive. He hated falling into the social norms where he would wear the fashion any rich boy his age would wear, he didn't want to date girls, he didn't want to post douchebag selfies, and he didn't want to have people recognize him on the streets. He wanted to be a normal teen boy again from back before he got his cancer and before people started following him on social media just because he was attractive and famous; he wanted to have a normal family with parents that actually loved him for him, not the amount of cash he gives them.

He sat up in his large bed and stared out his window into the beautifully lit garden outside. His room was rather plain for someone like him; he had no decorations at all aside from a TV and game system and a mirror on top of his dresser where he had his makeup at for when he had to make public appearances. Slowly he pushed himself off of the mattress and walked over to the glass door that separated his room from the outside before he twisted the handle and stepped outside to be greeted by the sounds of nature.

The garden wasn't anything special to a normal person; there were lights, flowers, bushes, insects, dirt, more dirt, and a large pond in the middle. Most would say the best feature of Keith's little garden was the fact that the roses were so vibrant compared to the ones you'd find in a store but to Keith, the pond was the best feature especially at night. In the pond where koi fish he had raised since he was a ten-year-old, there were orange, white, red, even salmon colored koi. They were his favorite fish and he had made the pond a suitable place for his fish with the appropriate plants in it along with small minnows. He could sit there and talk to the pond as if it were a person for hours, he knew all there was to know about koi and the little critters were his life. Aside from that detail, the other feature about the pond he loved was the star's reflection on its surface.

It was as if one could see each individual star in the pond as he koi swam by making the surface ripple. Keith loved the stars; he would often find himself looking to them for guidance during his worst moments in life. Keith looked down at his fish and sighed deeply as he dipped his hand into the pond before giggling at the feeling of the fish nibbling at his hand thinking it was food.

Perhaps there could be people at that support group that could like Keith for his interests rather than his public identity.

That would be better than any wish he had ever made on a star.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you all so much for reading the first two chapters of this support group AU. I'm really enjoying the writing process of this story but I honestly suck at editing so there may be a lot of errors in the future sadly.
> 
> Please leave constructive criticism or suggesting in the comments, thank you again!


	3. Awkward Smiles and Music (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vincent takes Lance to the support group where, for the first time, he finds himself new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support so far on this story, I really appreciate it!
> 
> I'm not really good at notes so, enjoy :)

Today was the day Lance would either be doomed to complete and total hermit status or if he would even be able to make a friend. One friend would honestly be enough for him. He sat up in his bed and winced as his stomach growled, he hadn't eaten much of anything yesterday and what he did have didn't stay in his system for too long, so he hasn't gotten any sort of nutrients.

He stood in front of his mirror with a look of indecisiveness on his face as he held two separate sweaters up to his body. One was a beige color while the other one was a light blue with two white stripes on either sleeve. He had been trying to choose what to wear to the support group meeting for well over an hour now; he tends to over think things a little too much. On today's existential crisis in Lance's head; if he wore beige would he look too bland but if he wore the soft blue sweater with thin stripes would he look like he was trying too hard at trying to be noticed?

Lance felt like dropping to the floor dramatically where he would lay for the next few minutes before throwing on a hoodie and leaving the house looking like garbage which would seal his fate as a loner. Why was it so hard to choose a sweater to go with his jeans?

It was a choice between life and death, it was so hard. "Blue or beige, Lance," Lance stated out loud as he frowned deeply and held the beige sweater up to his torso. "This is not going to be another family reunion situation again."

"I think I would honestly die if it ended up like the last reunion where you took three hours to decide on an outfit that looked like barney barfed on you," Vincent laughed from Lance's doorway making the young man jump out of his skin as he dropped his clothes and squinted to focus on his brother's blurry figure.

Lance couldn't exactly see what Vincent looked like since he wasn't wearing his contact lenses or even his thick glasses that made him feel stupid when he wore them outside. "Don't joke about my outfit, I got chewed out by grandma over that," Lance shivered as he remembered how his grandmother slapped the top of his head with her shoe for looking like a complete idiot during the last family reunion.

Vincent pushed off the doorway and walked inside to grab the blue sweater. Now that he was closer, Lance could see that he was wearing his lounging clothing that consisted of a coffee-stained grey shirt that said 'Mondays aren't my thing' and a pair of sweatpants that seemed way too baggy for his own good. His hair was stuck in bed head mode speaking how the left side of it was matted down while other parts of it stuck out at awkward angles on his head. 

He looked at Lance's mirror for a moment before he took the blue sweater off of its hangar to push into Lance's chest with a soft smile. "Blue suits you best and horizontal stripes make you look wider while vertical stripes make you look taller."

Lance wrapped his arms around the sweater, "Oh, thanks but why are you up so early, Vinny?" Lance inquired as he slid the sweater on over his black shirt before he flattened it out on his body. The sleeves were just a bit too long but otherwise, it was a perfect fit for him.

Vincent shrugged as he scratched his head, "I'm driving you to the support group since mom wants to make sure that Patrick doesn't torture Heidi again," He yawned before he slumped his shoulders, "She doesn't trust me with three elementary kids."

Lance laughed and began to walk to the bathroom right outside of his room and to the right, "You can't even keep track of Christian, Vinny, of course, she won't let you watch our siblings."

Vincent made a bilious face, "I watch and teach children for a living, I'm more than capable of keeping three kids occupied for hours!" He said defensively.

Lance chuckled even more before he grabbed his hairbrush on top of the sink and combed out his wavy hair to make it straight once more before he began working on getting his contacts in his eyes. "I don't think our siblings and your son would sit down for eight hours to do writing prompts, to be honest, Vincent," Lance stated as he blinked until the blurriness was gone from his vision and he could see his brother from any distance.

They argued over pointless things as they got ready for Lance's support group meeting that morning. It took a good ten minutes for Vincent to even get the left side of his hair to look presentable before he had to go and get changed into something more adult-like in appearance; a green button up shirt with a pair of black jeans. He wasn't much for looking classy. They hurried out to Vincent's car before the man put the address into his GPS and got on the road, playing rap music rather loudly as he sang along with it trying to not dance as he drove.

Lance sat on his phone as he tried to not laugh at his brother out loud while he recorded it for his mother to watch later on. "Vincent," Lance smiled slightly as he sent the video of his brother rapping poorly to a Spanish song as he danced at a red light, "Do you ever listen to pop music or anything other than Spanish rap?" Lance asked out of pure curiosity.

Vincent pursed his lips slightly as he carefully went through his music library to find a new song that would please Lance whilst he drove through the traffic with ease. "Of course I do, I wouldn't want my coworkers to stereotype me for what I listen to when I roll into the parking lot," He frowned before his brown eyes settled on a song that made him perk up nearly instantly, "Ah, here! Now, this is what I listen to on school days kid."

He tapped on a song and the car went silent as he gently set his phone back down then, in a matter of seconds, Justin Bieber began to play at an alarmingly loud volume. "Oh dear god," Lance looked at his brother with wide eyes, "How have your coworkers not disowned you yet?"

"Because everyone likes Sorry," Vincent stated bluntly in a serious tone before he began to dance in the seat rather poorly, "Is it too late now to say that I'm sorry?"

Lance couldn't help but admit to himself that he did actually enjoy some of Justin Bieber's music, especially the song his brother was practically screaming along to, but he wasn't going to let his brother know he liked pop music artists like Ariana Grande or Beyoncé anytime soon. "Oh my god, you're so embarrassing!" Lance laughed uncontrollably from the passenger's seat of the Prius.

"I finally got you to laugh at my stupidity!" Vincent exclaimed in complete triumph before he headbanged to the chorus of Sorry. "God, I wish you would smile that much at home but, I guess that's impossible while Marcia acts like a bitch all the time to you."

Lance wiped away a tear from his eye before he leaned back in his seat to look out his window quietly. He loved his brother for always trying to make his day when it was obvious he wasn't in a good mood, but he didn't like it when his siblings would insult each other behind one another's backs. It wasn't what family should do, it was what fake friends would do and Lance despised that behavior. "I don't mind Marcia, she just wants to have friends so, I understand her," Lance said quietly as he looked at his phone to see no new notifications.

He hoped that he would at least make one new friend at the meeting today, that's all he wanted; just one. "You may not mind, but mom and I do, Lance," Vincent stated as he turned down the music to talk to his younger brother, "You two used to be two peas in a pod when you were growing up, there was never a single thing that could tear you two apart until middle school."

"You mean around the time my habit started?" Lance remarked harshly as he remembered the word Vincent had used to describe Lance's condition.

Vincent's hands tightened on the steering wheel as he frowned. He knew why Lance was so upset by that word, it was what their father would say to describe the problems Lance suffered from and it made him feel like shit to hear it. "You know I didn't mean it like that, I was just trying to be gentle about it, is all," Vincent tried to defend himself until the GPS announced that they reached their destination with the next turn.

They were right outside of a large church with a sign outside sticking up from the ground showing the opening hours of the church. Lance frowned slightly as he watched a tall, colored girl with platinum blonde hair placed in a bun walk into the church timidly. Lance was sitting up straight in his seat as he tried to catch another glimpse of the young girl who couldn't have been any older than him.

"Looks like you've got a crush already," Vincent smiled warmly as his car came to a stop outside the church doors. "Go get her champ!" He gave Lance a thumbs up as his little brother turned red in his ears.

Lance shook his head, "I don't have a crush on anyone, and I didn't even see her face!" He exclaimed as he slid his phone into his pocket and opened the door to step outside.

"If you didn't have a crush already," Vincent leaned over as he switched his music back over to his crappy rap music, "Then how did you know I was talking about that girl?" He smirked smugly.

Lance felt his face drop as he slammed the door shut roughly, a muffled shouting of anger sounded from the inside of the car as Vincent raged over the fact Lance slammed his second child's door shut. "I do not have a crush!" Lance nearly shouted outside as he stormed away from the white Prius.

A car door slammed from behind Lance and he noticed a chubby boy his age walking away from a white truck with a nervous look on his face. He was definitely going to the group counseling with how he carried himself. He was hunched over as if he was trying to hide from the world around him and he picked at his nails as his brown eyes glanced around quickly with anxiety. He wore a yellow bandana on his head and a brown shirt with a pair of grey cargo shorts. 

Lance held the door open for the boy as he got closer, "You okay?" Lance asked as the bandana guy awkwardly thanked him and stepped inside.

He looked at Lance with wide eyes, "Who me?" He asked in surprise.

Lance stepped in after him and glanced around to find that only them and a young man were in the room, but the young man was a receptionist at the desk in front of a large painting of Jesus Christ. "Yeah, I think I was talking to you..." He repeated himself slowly.

"S-Sorry, I'm not uh-" the darker colored boy hesitated before he said anything else, "I'm Hunk," he held his hand out awkwardly.

Lance smiled as he shook his hand, "I'm Lance, I'm here for a support group meeting and I'm guessing you are too?" He raised a thin eyebrow curiously.

Hunk shook his head enthusiastically, "Yeah, my mom and dad thought it would help with my anxiety if I came to these support group meetings and talked to other people about my problems outside of family," He seemed to be slightly relieved at how friendly Lance was being.

Lance smiled widely and nodded, "My school counselor and mom thought this would be a good way to help me through my problems as well since we haven't had luck with normal doctors yet," Lance admitted.

Hunk tilted his head slightly, "What is your-" 

Before he could even say anymore, the door behind them whipped open to reveal a shorter boy in all black step inside with a look of annoyance on his face when he saw the large portrait of Jesus. He was wearing black torn jeans, a chain on his belt loops, a black shirt that said 'This is my design', and you guess it, black eye liner. Lance cringed at the sight of his hair by accident; who even had mullets anymore? That style died as fast as it reared its ugly head in the seventies.

"I'm here for that shitty support group thing," The boy stated bluntly as Lance and Hunk stared at him with equally shocked faces.

Lance couldn't believe his eyes, a boy probably younger than him with how short he was, was swearing so openly in a church and was wearing, well black. The receptionist stared at the boy as if he were Satan before he pointed to the doors straight to their right, "May I suggest that you take one of our pamphlets about Jesus as well?" He asked the mullet-headed goth.

The boy frowned before he turned the other way, "I believe in science, not fairy tales."

This was going to be so much fun. Lance gulped slightly before he looked at Hunk awkwardly, "I guess we should go inside too."

"Y-Yeah," Hunk walked close behind Lance as they approached the door that the weird boy disappeared inside of, "I hope he's the only one like that."

"Me too big guy, me too."

Lance pushed open the door to see a small circle of four teens sitting in chairs with an adult between two of them and two open spots next to each other across from the redhead woman. Lance turned red as he noticed the girl had seen earlier, she was absolutely beautiful. She was a person of color like he and Hunk but she was just stunning. She had beautiful blue eyes, platinum blonde hair, barely visible freckles and she wore one of those skater dresses that had a white collar. The main part of it was pink and she wore pearl jewelry to go along with it and a paint of white wedge heels. She was definitely way out of Lance's league.

Next to her was probably the youngest member of the group. Lance couldn't tell whether they were a boy or girl with the way they dressed, but they had short sandy brown hair and round glasses kind of like Harry Potter's in those famous movies everyone loved. They wore a green sweatshirt, a pair of shorts, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

On the other side of the counselor was a boy, definitely a senior, with an ugly scar stretching across the bridge of his nose. He had an undercut with his fringe dyed white while the rest of his hair remained black probably to distract everyone from his scar which sadly, didn't work. He was Asian like the goth kid who took the seat next to him and played with his gloves, but unlike the weird kid, the senior wore a purple button up shirt and a pair of black pants with canvas shoes. He and the pretty girl were the best dressed compared to everyone else, so it probably meant they came from rich families; the goth kid definitely wasn't from a wealthy family and Lance was willing to bet money on it.

Out of kindness, Lance let Hunk take the seat next to the youngest member who had their feet on their seat as they hugged their knees awkwardly, while Lance seated himself next to the rude kid who was giving him a side glare. "Looks like everyone made it!" The ginger woman wearing a mixture of bright colors stated with a giddy tone. She clapped her hands together and looked down at her neon pink clipboard with a smile, "My name is Olivia Rose and I'll be your counselor so please just call me Olivia since we'll be together for the year-round counseling sessions."

Lance could see that everyone was slightly uncomfortable with being there. He was glad he wasn't the only one but just sitting next to that weird kid was making him extra uncomfortable with how much he was looking at Lance. Slowly Lance crossed his legs and scooted down in his seat as he tried to ignore the burning gaze from the purple-eyed weirdo. "So we'll start the group session off by introducing ourselves and then on Wednesday we'll begin talking about our problems and just try to become closer than what we are since our goal here at the Sunshine group is to create bonds that will last a lifetime!" Olivia announced with excitement before she gently touched Lance's crush on her shoulder, "How about you start sweetie."

The girl seemed surprised as she looked around the circle and turned red as she lowered her gaze once she met eyes with the guy with the scar. "Um," she began to pick at the end of her dress, "My name is Allura Romero and I have Dysthymia and I am eighteen," She mumbled quietly.

"Everyone say hi to Allura," Olivia said as she rubbed Allura's shoulder reassuringly.

The group made terrible attempts at even speaking up to say 'Hello' to the girl, only Lance and the senior were able to really make their hellos sound enthusiastic. No one wanted to be there and that was obvious. Olivia gave a forced smile as she tried to move on, "Now you can introduce yourself, sweetie," She told the youngest member.

The short-haired person sat up and adjusted their glasses, "My name is Katie Holt, I'm fourteen and I suffer from gender dysphoria," She stated before adding in, "Just use female pronouns please since I'm used to those."

"Everyone say hi to Katie," Olivia stated again.

"Hi Katie..." The group of teens sounded like zombies as they tried to make an effort so early in the morning.

"Next!" 

Hunk stiffened up as his eyes widened. Lance instantly felt bad and wished he could have introduced the anxious fluff ball himself, but he didn't know much about Hunk so he wasn't able to swoop in and save the day. Hunk began to pick at his nails again as he lowered his head, "M-My name is uh- it's Hunk and I h-have social anxiety. I'm also eighteen."

Lance was surprised by the fact that he was younger than Hunk simply because he thought Hunk was his age, but it didn't matter. The group said hi to Hunk and now it was Lance's turn. He didn't want to go, and he could feel his stomach trying to make his nervousness known as it twisted up and made him feel sick. Lance ruffled his hair anxiously as he tried to muster up enough courage to even utter his name out loud but he didn't want to introduce himself; what if they all hated him for his condition like everyone did at school?

"Cat got your tongue?" The goth kid joked next to Lance causing Lance to immediately forget his anxiety as he looked at the younger boy with a frown. 

He was smirking smugly at Lance and his purple eyes were burning with rebellious intent in them. "N-No, sorry," Lance grumbled before he lowered his hand and looked around the group before blushing as he met Allura's gaze. "I'm Lance McClain, I'm seventeen and I suffer from uh-" 

Lance felt his voice get caught up in his throat as he pulled on his sweater. 'Come on Lance just say it so you won't embarrass yourself in front of Allura!' He thought to himself as he straightened his posture, "I have bulimia nervosa," he managed to say before he instantly regretted it.

The boy next to him dropped his gaze quickly and looked away from Lance causing Lance great concern as he noticed the other members looking slightly uncomfortable. "Hi, Lance..." The group said in the smallest voice he had heard which made him feel as if he had dropped a bomb on an entire civilization; in other words, shit. He felt like shit.

"My name is Keith Kogane," the goth said and immediately Allura's eyes widened as she let out a small gasp that she covered with her hand before apologizing quickly. Lance raised an eyebrow slightly as he watched Keith talk; he seemed familiar in some way. "I am seventeen and I have liver cancer," Keith stated nonchalantly, "Oh, for the second time actually."

"Hi Keith," the group said a little louder than last time, but Allura remained silent as she watched Keith from afar. Lance instantly felt a rivalry forming between him and Keith.

The senior sat up and gave a weak smile as he rubbed his right arm, "Hi, I'm Takashi Shirogane. Just call me Shiro please, since I know my name is a bit of a mouthful," the group let out a quiet bit of laughter as they smiled slightly. Shiro seemed to ease the tension in the room by just talking, "I'm nineteen and I suffer from PTSD."

"May I ask what your PTSD stems from?" Olivia wrote down everyone's names on her little clipboard, "Just so we know to avoid certain topics that could be possibly harmful to your health."

"Child abuse and sexual assault."

The smiles on everyone's faces suddenly disappeared as if they had been erased. No one would have even thought that Shiro was the victim of sexual assault and child abuse, but then again no one here seemed to show that they even had a problem except for Hunk and Lance. "Oh..." Even Olivia seemed taken back by the response as she scribbled something out on her clipboard. "Everyone say-"

"Hi Shiro," the group interrupted Olivia as they said hi to the eldest member aside from the counselor. 

Olivia cracked her knuckles quickly before she clapped her hands together, "So, now that we got introductions out of the way I want you six to exchange phone numbers and create a chat so that you can all text each other outside of these sessions," She announced as she passed the clipboard to Allura once she turned the page over to show a blank one. "We like to have our members talk to each other outside of these sessions and at every meeting, we do a recap of your texts and talk about what you guys enjoy talking about."

Allura took the clipboard and wrote her number down on the paper quickly before she passed it over to Katie who took her precious time with it. "What else do we do in this hell hole, buddy systems?" Keith asked sarcastically.

Olivia's eyebrow twitched slightly as she looked at Keith with a glare, "We do actually, but we place people who are incompatible with one another together so that you two can work out your issues and we make it an assignment to hang out with them every day to get to know one another," Olivia stated in a matter-of-fact tone as she watched Lance scribble his number onto the paper.

Lance noticed how beautiful Allura's handwriting was and he couldn't help but smile slightly as he handed it over to Keith who reluctantly wrote on it. "So you decide the groups based on our texts, don't you?" Katie asked as she hugged her knees again.

Olivia nodded, "Precisely, you're a smart one, Katie. Oh yeah Shiro," Olivia turned her attention to the boy next to her, "Go ahead and start the chat right now so that you all won't forget about it."

"Sure!" Shiro smiled as he took out his phone and began to set up the chat.

"On Wednesday I will be assigning your first partners and then we'll begin to swap them around," Olivia began to inform the group on how the buddy system would work, "You'll end the buddy system with someone that you're either compatible with or not, but either way at the end of our first year we'll all be like a family," she smiled sweetly.

"This makes me want to throw up my breakfast," Keith snorted as he crossed his arms.

Lance lowered his gaze down to the carpeted floor as he tried to ignore the fact that Keith sounded sort of like his twin that hated him. "Keith, be mindful of what you say around the other members!" Olivia scolded the boy.

Keith gave Lance the side eye before he rolled his purple eyes, "Sorry."

The rest of the hour was spent talking about everyone's interests in life. Allura wanted to become a politician and perhaps even the first woman President, Katie wanted to become a scientist that worked at NASA, Hunk wanted to be a chef, Shiro wanted to become a NASA worker as well but Keith and Lance were the only two who didn't have an answer to that stereotypical question every teen got asked; what do you want to be when you're older?

The group disbanded once it turned twelve and everyone seemed to have someone drive them to the meeting as they walked out to the parking lot to get in a car. Lance talked to Hunk and Katie as the three of them walked to the front of the church while laughing at each other's jokes. Lance felt happy for the first time in years, he wasn't being judged for having bulimia and it made him feel special. Keith stormed past them as straight over to an expensive sports car where a woman ran out with her arms stretched out.

"Oh Keith, how was it?" She asked as she showered the short boy in kisses on his cheeks.

Lance and the others couldn't help but chuckle as they watched Keith struggle against who they thought was his mother, "Stop it, Sandra!" Keith exclaimed in frustration as he got in the car and slammed the door shut to start yelling at the happy lady from inside the vehicle.

Allura seemed to be ashamed of herself as she got into a car with an older looking man with dusty brown hair and green eyes. Lance frowned as he watched the man smile at her inside of the BMW before he drove off with her, then the familiar Prius drove around to the front before a small girl opened the back door to go running out of it in order to tackle Lance.

"Lancey!" Heidi exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around Lance while Vincent struggled to get his seat belt off in order to close the back door before any more of the children could escape. It looked like his mother trusted Vincent with the kids and he was already failing at it.

Lance smiled as he scooped up his little sister and began to introduce her to his two friends, "Heidi, these are my new friends," Lance pointed to Katie who smiled at the tiny girl in Lance's arms, "That's Katie and this is Hunk."

"Who's that guy with the white and black hair?" Heidi pointed to Shiro who was getting into a car with an older looking woman who looked exhausted.

Lance smiled at Shiro as he met his gaze and waved, "That's Shiro, he's a nice guy but, I'm not really friends with him yet," Lance stated.

"He's kind of like the dad of the group," Katie stated. "He made everyone feel better."

Hunk nodded in agreement as Vincent motioned for Lance to get his rear in the car, "Come on Lance, I got to bring the kids to the park so they can tire themselves out and so that I can hit on pretty mothers!" Vincent exclaimed in an urgent tone.

Lance turned bright red as his friends laughed in amusement. "Eres un stupido elephante!" Lance shouted as he glared at his brother.

Vincent's face screwed up as he threw his hands into the air, "Qué chingados?" He exclaimed.

Heidi gasped and looked at Lance before she began to laugh, "Vincent said fu-" 

Lance covered his sister's mouth with his hand before she could translate what their brother said, "Heidi, do not repeat what Vincent said! He has a dirty mouth you should never listen to him!"

He said his goodbyes to his friends before he buckled Heidi in and took the front seat next to his brother. "I guess the meeting went well since you have friends now?" Vincent raised an eyebrow as he fixed his hair.

Lance rolled his eyes as the Prius began to drive off, "Yeah it did, but why did mom trust you with the kids? All you're going to do is use them to get Christian a new mom."

"I'm getting a mommy?" Christian asked in excitement.

"No sweetie, sorry," Vincent glanced up at the rearview mirror and apologized to his son before he punched Lance's leg gently. "Shut up you idiot and I am very responsible you know. Mom wanted to go out with her friends so I thought these three would like to go to the park to play with you."

"Oh," Lance looked down at his phone and smiled as he looked at how the group chat was going off at a normal rate as everyone tried to start an awkward conversation. "I think I'll like that," he whispered before he joined in the conversation and began to talk to people his age for the first time in years.

It felt like a whole new world had been opened up to him and he was ready for the ups and downs he'd have to deal with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and if there is anything you want to point out please feel free to do so. I am open to constructive criticism and anything else that can improve your reading experience so feel free to leave a comment about what should be changed and/or added and I'll take it into consideration.
> 
> Have a great night/day!


	4. Mall Trouble (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith decides to go with his little sister to the mall but he meets an unexpected stranger and gets a few surprises thrown his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there may be errors, I tried my best at editing and even had my friend edit it but I don't think we got all of them. My apologies in advance but please enjoy it :)

"Point your chin up a bit more Keith," The photographer stated as she waved her hand up for Keith to follow her order. "This has to be perfect for the cover of Cosmopolitan since your mother's fashion line is growing so popular recently. If young women see a handsome young man such as yourself wearing this, it'll make them go crazy like how they did over male rompers!" Kelsey squealed as she snapped a photo of Keith tilting his chin up.

He was wearing a new summer clothing line his mother created that consisted of a sleeveless shirt with elaborate designs on it along with her ugly little anchor logo in a white color and he wore a pair of sky blue shorts that brought out the color of the tropical style shirt he wanted to watch burn in the pits of hell. He had been doing this ever since he had left that stupid support group earlier and he wanted nothing more than to rip his shirt off and go out to the mall and wreak havoc with his 'friends'. 

"The male romper trend died just as fast as it appeared Kelsey," Keith sighed in discontent as he winked at the camera with a fake smile he was so used to wearing. "And I don't think any straight man wore one, they weren't at all attractive."

"Well your hairstyle died in the seventies but no one says shit Keith," Vivian stated from next to him. She too had been dragged to the cosmopolitan shoot but unlike Keith, she actually enjoyed the spotlight and the cameras.

She was wearing a yellow sundress with white, lacey hibiscus flowers on it and a sunhat that had a greyish white ribbon on it. "Pardon me, bitch," Keith grumbled as he bumped hips with his little sister in annoyance. He hated it when people insulted his hair; it wasn't his fault he had an irrational fear of hair stylists accidentally cutting him while they tried to clip his hair.

"Please don't fight," Kelsey stated as she snapped a few more photos of the siblings as they gave one another the look that said 'you'll die for that later'. 

Keith felt his face screw up with annoyance as he glared at the camera before he walked off the set and over to his chair to pick up his phone. "I don't want to keep taking photos in this ugly shirt, no man would dare wear this anyways," he hissed bitterly.

"Mom will be screaming at dinner tonight because of you slacking on the job today!" Vivian laughed as she held the hat in the air and pretended to shield her face from the fake sun on the elaborately designed beach scene they had been working on.

Keith rolled his lilac eyes and opened his phone to see the support group's chat blowing up with memes being sent by Katie and Lance as they made fun of Trump and Snapchat. Keith found himself smiling slightly at the sight of Allura becoming infuriated by the way the two only talked using memes while Shiro desperately tried to get them to stop, Hunk on the other hand just kept saying 'lol' anytime Lance and Katie ignored the others. They were a weird group of people, even to Keith.

Allura had struck him as a pampered rich girl who must have had some sort of daddy issues with how she acted, and she for sure had a giant crush on Shiro already,  which Keith didn't blame her for since he was definitely pleasing on the eyes. Shiro was eye candy but Keith felt like he had major baggage that came with being friends with him, which he just didn't want to deal with straight away, at least not when he was trying to deal with his own problems.

Katie was a nerd. That Keith knew for sure by the way she dressed and he felt like if he had any technical difficulties, she would be his go-to girl. Hunk was weird, he sweated too much during the meeting which made Keith uncomfortable to watch even when he stuttered while speaking. It was sad. Lance was... he was Lance and that was the best way Keith could describe the scrawny Hispanic guy that made him annoyed because he stared at Allura too much and too obviously. If you were going to crush on someone at least try to hide it.

Keith scrolled through the chat and saw how they were wondering where Keith was but he didn't bother telling them what he was doing since none of them seemed to have recognized him just yet; he liked that so he didn't want to ruin it just yet. Just like his other contacts, he had given each member a nickname; Allura was 'Daddy Issues', Shiro was deemed 'Muscle Guy', Katie got the nickname of 'Tech Nerd', Hunk was 'Sir Sweats A Lot', and finally Lance had been entered in as 'Weird Food Kid'.

A shooting pain went through Keith's abdomen suddenly nearly causing him to drop his phone onto the cement floor below but he managed to keep a grip and squeeze it in pain. Vivian must've noticed Keith was in pain when he winced and slapped his free hand onto his abdomen. She dropped her hat on the ground and raved over her older brother in fright, "Keith, is it your liver?" She asked as she cupped his face in her palms and stared at him with wide eyes.

Keith nodded and gently pushed her hands away from his face, "Yeah, it's just one of the symptoms the doctor told you guys about that I had during the first round of this bullshit," He stated with a weak smile before he motioned towards the photo shoot, "Go finish the job, I'll be fine."

Vivian looked torn between sitting with Keith and finishing the job so she took a deep breath and let it out slowly; it was something she did whenever she couldn't think straight and it helped calm herself down. "Fine, but only if you pinky promise me that you'll be fine," She stuck out her pinky and placed her other hand on her hip.

Keith frowned and looked at her weirdly, "What are we in kindergarten? I haven't done a pinky promise since-"

Vivian cut him off by clicking his nose to silence him, "You haven't done one since the first time you had cancer your freshman year when I was going through a crisis in middle school, I know. What I also know is," She held her pinky out once again and her voice became firm and confident, "you've never broken a pinky promise before."

Keith stared at her for a moment as he remembered seeing her in the hospital with a busted knee thinking she was never going to be able to play tennis again and he felt his heart sink. She had been so torn apart that day and had been crying, not allowing anyone but Keith inside of her room until he promised he would do anything to help her get a full recovery that would allow her to keep playing tennis. She never had a full recovery since she has to use her knee brace if she plays actual games but he had been with her every step of the way even when he had been sick with liver cancer. His sister was his kryptonite. 

He managed a small smile as he locked his pinky with hers, "Alright Viv, I pinky promise I'll be okay for the rest of the day but only if you do the photoshoot."

"Good," she smiled before hugging him roughly only to slip away and start the shoot again.

Keith leaned back in his chair and sighed as he looked down at his phone to see that the memes were still rolling in and now Shiro was going along with it probably making Allura have an aneurysm from all the rage she must be feeling. Keith switched to the other chat where he could see what his 'friends' were up to and unsurprisingly they were busy spray painting walls with 'art'. Keith sighed deeply as he looked at the photos they sent and he felt like deleting them from his phone but he chose to keep them there just so he could hang out with them another day and raise hell.

"Keith, do you want to go to the mall once we're done here?" Vivian asked with excitement as she posed in time for the click of a camera to go off with a flash.

Keith looked down at his phone and tossed around excuses in his head but they all felt like they had been used a million times before and anyways, he did feel like spending time with the bright-eyed girl today so it didn't cause him any problems. "Sure," he smiled at his sister before he carefully stood up and began walking to his dressing room.

"Wear normal clothes please, I don't want people thinking you're going to shoplift when I'm around!" She called out with joy.

Keith ignored Vivian's remark as he walked into the door that led to a hallway with dressing rooms on either side before he found his and opened the door. It was nothing special since it had the essentials like the vanity mirror where the makeup artists did his makeup for whatever he was there for, a rack of clothes lined one wall while a couch sat opposite of it. He picked out something normal from his mother's clothing line; a red flannel shirt, black jeans, and a pair of boots he loved to wear. His sister wanted to have a normal day with her normal brother so he was going to grant her that wish and dress like a normal teen would. 

Once he was done he sat down in front of the mirror and sighed deeply as he looked at himself. He was never fond of makeup but in his family, it was a necessity if you wanted to leave the house and go into public because if someone recognized you and saw you without makeup it was 'social suicide' according to Sandra who was forever stuck in her college phase.

He silently occupied his time by flicking through the support group's chat which had finally calmed down and had started a normal conversation about their schools. Keith felt left out as he watched Lance and Hunk realize they went to the same school while Allura and Shiro also attended the same one. The only school Keith went to was homeschool. Between his chaotic life as a model and his cancer controlling all of his free time, he didn't have any time to attend a normal high school and live like any normal person and he felt like an outcast as he watched the group blow up while Pidge ranted about how her school has the old CRT monitors and how they should totally upgrade to LCD.

He started to type in the chat thinking about asking them more about the schools but he hesitated and erased what he had been planning on saying before he let out a sigh and rested his head down on the vanity in defeat. He had nothing to relate with when it came to these people; he was the only one who would be able to get rid of this problem easily while the others would be struggling with it for god knows how long. Why was this always the problem? He could never relate to people.

He felt his phone buzz which made him raise his head ever so slightly in order to get a better look at the new text sent in the chat. It was Lance asking Keith what he had been trying to say before he stopped typing and everyone else went silent as they waited for him to answer. He felt his cheeks grow hot in embarrassment as he forgot that they could see when he had been typing. 

Why was he so stupid?

He quickly picked up his phone and typed the most generic response he could think of; 'None of your business, dickweed.'

Pidge instantly responded with, 'Whoa there goes my good vibes bro.' 

Keith instantly felt like facepalming by how stupid he was for sending that text. That was just like him, anytime he wanted to try to be normal he managed to screw it up. He groaned and placed his phone face down on the vanity before he covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. Why was he like this?

"Let's go sugarplum!" Vivian shouted as she practically kicked down the door in the same dress which actually looked really nice on her. Along with the sundress, she wore white tennis shoes with little pineapples on them.

Keith shot upright in his chair and grabbed his phone before shoving it into his back pocket. He pointed his index finger into the air and placed a hand on his hip, "Let us go to the mall!" He said awkwardly trying to sound excited for his sister.

Vivian raised a blonde eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest before she pursed her lips slightly, "Did you do something stupid again?" She asked quizzically.

Keith swallowed down his shame and began to storm out of the room with a frown, "I wouldn't do something stupid, are you kidding yourself?" He stated dryly before grabbing hold of his sister's hand to begin dragging her down the hallway towards the entrance to the building their parents owned. "Let's just go to the mall so we can have some quality sibling time, okay?"

"Is it a boy?" Vivian asked as she skipped behind Keith with a coy smile painting its way across her face.

"No."

Vivian laughed as she began to walk faster in order to take a look at her brother's red face, "Was it someone from that support group mom forced you to attend?"

"Oh please," Keith snorted as he released his sister's hand and allowed her to walk ahead of him with a large smile on her clear skin. "There was definitely some cute guy there, especially if you are turning as red as a cherry!"

"Shut up!"

The two of them argued all the way to the mall making their driver probably wish he had a different job that didn't include driving two siblings around wherever they wanted every day for thirteen dollars an hour. They arrived at the mall around four o'clock and wasted their time walking around the entire building buying Vivian things she wanted like new books, new clothes, new shoes, new everything that she already had enough of originally and what did Keith buy for himself you may be asking; nothing. Zip. Nada. Absolutely nothing.

He was never one for blowing his parent's money on stuff he didn't care about and preferred to waste it on his fish at home and gardening equipment for whenever he felt the urge to change his garden up every now and then, which wasn't often. He was now in Victoria's Secret store with ten bags in total hanging from his arms as his little sister went crazy for a sale on undergarments. Keith would never understand a woman's craze about her underwear when men didn't give two shits about what they wore under their clothes.

He sat on a bench while his sister searched for her size in a hot pink lace bra that she had been dying to buy since she had seen it in the catalog. "Keith isn't this so cute?" She squealed as she held it up to her gay brother's face that was full of annoyance.

Keith stared at her blankly as she lowered it to stare at him with a giant smile, "Adorable."

Vivian pouted slightly as she began to head towards the dressing room with a new bathing suit in tow, "You can at least try to act excited you know, if it were anything else you'd be squealing over the clothes with me and you know it," She stated with her nose pointed into the air.

"Yeah but," Keith shifted on the uncomfortable bench to watch his sister ask a woman for a dressing room, "Seeing what my sister is buying to seduce fuckboys into her bed is not high on my priority list,  unlike Calvin Klein."

"Well whatever Keith," Vivian sighed before she followed the lady back behind a wall, "Just wait there."

Keith rolled his eyes and slouched over slightly, "Yeah I'll wait, I always do anyway."

He probably looked like a total weirdo sitting there alone in a women's underwear store with a bunch of bras surrounding him on racks while he silently tapped his heels on the ground and hummed along to the pop song playing on the speakers; Halo by Beyoncé. It was like a throwback to the early 2000s in this damn store but Keith wasn't complaining, Beyoncé had some great songs. He was getting ready to leave the store while dancing when he noticed a familiar looking freckled face near the perfume. They had those same blue eyes, the same olive toned skin and even the brown locks of hair though it was longer now. Much longer.

He rose up out of his seat and approached the person before placing his hand on their shoulder, "Lance?" He asked cautiously.

"Uh excuse me?" A girls voice answered in pure anger as she twisted around to face Keith with rage sparkling in her blue eyes. "What the fuck did you just call me you fr-" her eyes widened in recognition as she stared at Keith.

"Oh my god," One of her friends with a shitty ombre stated as she dropped a pair of panties to look at Keith. "It's like totally Keith Kogane!" She exclaimed.

"No fucking way!" Her other friend who had a lollipop in her mouth rushed over and practically tackled Keith as she latched onto his arm making him instantly feel frightened. "You're so hot up close!" She squealed as the ombre bitch rushed over and took his overhand.

He looked like one of those traumatized children who experienced what happens in their parent's bedroom by mistake as the girls fawned over him, commenting on his looks and body. He believed for a moment that he had experienced hell on earth. This was like one of his nightmares he used to have when he was younger; he would be trampled by girls who wanted to date him while he froze up just like how he was doing now, except this time- it was for real.

"I am," Keith's voice was strained and sounded very robotic like as he tried to ignore the two girls hanging off of him as he looked at the girl in front of him with his eyes narrowed in disgust. "And I'm guessing you're not Lance McClain?" He asked before he began a desperate attempt to shake those vile creatures off of his body.

"Ew, why's he asking about your gross brother Marcia?" Ombre bitch asked as she backed off with her arms crossed under her chest so that she could try to get Keith to admire her size which wouldn't work in this world.

The other one stayed attached to Keith as he pressed his palm against her forehead and began pushing her forcefully in order to get rid of her as she continued talking about how she loved his work. "Don't ever call me by that fucking name again!" Marcia exclaimed as she clenched her fists and puffed out her cheeks in rage.

'Damn,' Keith thought as he struggled against the demon's grip, 'Why's she so touchy about her brother? And why does she look exactly like him except for the hair and chest? This is so mind boggling...' He wanted to sit down and try to figure out why he was staring at the female version of that scrawny kid from earlier that day but he didn't even get to pry the weird girl from his arm once he said his next sentence.

"What's wrong with Lance's name?" Keith asked before he was greeted by Marcia's fist being plowed straight into his right eye showing him the true force of an angry Latina woman. 

He did not want to feel that pain again, it put his liver cancer pains to shame for sure. He fell backwards quickly, the girl let him go in order to save herself but the girl with the bad ombre let out a shriek of shock as she watched her 'soulmate' fall onto his ass in the middle of a women's lingerie store as he held his injured eye whilst yelping in pain from the hit. She was skinny but she packed one hell of a punch.

"What the fuck?" Keith exclaimed as he glared at Lance's sister from the dirty floor. He was pissed now and he was going to let that stupid bulimic boy know how angry he was at Wednesday's meeting.

Marcia was fuming as she held her hands at her sides while she stared down at Keith with a frown deeper than the grand canyon. "I told you not to call me that name!"

"I asked you a question, I didn't call you shit!" Keith exclaimed as he winced, a headache was making its presence known and he was so not in the mood for it.

If he were a girl he would be pulling Marcia's hair right now as they battle to the death, but because he was born with a little something extra between his legs, he was restricted from even laying a finger on a girl. But he was saved by the sound of Vivian's voice as she dropped her items and rushed over to Keith in order to kneel over him in fright.

"Keith what's wrong? Is it your liver? Did it ru-" She began to behave like a mother as she checked Keith all over but didn't even get to check his eye before he cut her off short.

He raised his index finger and pointed at Marcia who was still very angry. "My liver is fine, she punched me because of a stupid question!" He exclaimed.

Vivian glared at Marcia and slowly stood up and cracked her knuckles, "Did you seriously punch my brother?" She asked in a dangerously low voice.

Marcia's two friends slowly backed away as Vivian inched closer with her hands clenched into fists ready to begin fighting. "So fucking what? What are you going to do about it, bite my ankles?" She hissed before rolling up the sleeves on her purple shirt.

Vivian laughed suddenly as she smiled at Marcia, "Funny but no, I was thinking something more along the lines of this!" She shouted before she launched herself into Lance's sister and knocked over the perfume rack shattering some glass bottles on the floor as shoppers screamed.

Keith couldn't believe his eyes, this entire scene was like it had been ripped right out of a shitty teen fiction where two girls fought over the same guy before they realized that he wasn't even worth it in the end. Unlike those horrible cliché stories, however, no hair pulling was included in this deadly brawl between to very angry teen girls with different reasons behind their punches as they rolled on the floor trying to pin the other down on the floor long enough for the other to get a punch in.

Keith managed to jump to his feet as concerned staff tried to break up the fight without much progress as they were shoved away by the two feisty girls who were clawing at one another and slamming their fists into each other's bodies hoping for a lucky shot that would bring down her enemy. "Vivian Grace Kogane," Keith shouted as he stumbled over to his sister and grabbed at her shoulders to pull her off, "Stop this at once!" He exclaimed.

"Fuck," Marcia and Vivian growled at him, "off!" They shouted before pushing him right into a rack of questionable looking clothing articles that were way too overpriced.

Keith gasped in pain as his abdomen began to throb in pain. This always happened whenever he got into fights or got way too physically stressed; it was his reminder that he couldn't be normal and carefree with his body. He rolled onto his hands and knees and gripped his abdomen as he gasped for air and tried to calm himself down as he sister got her lip busted but Lance's sister who looked absolutely terrible. 

Why was he so powerless when his little sister needed him the most? He felt all of his anger beginning to disappear as it became replaced with shame. He was ashamed of himself since he couldn't handle his own problems without Vivian jumping in to intervene and now that about five people were recording the whole thing, Keith knew he and his sister were about to be in huge trouble by the media and his parents. 

"Stop it Vivian! Just fucking stop!" Keith shouted before he winced and gritted his teeth in pain.

Vivian responded to that this time as she looked up for a brief second with her hands pushing against Marcia's face. Her face was bruised up and her lip was bleeding while red scratches lined her arms. "Keith? Oh my god, Keith!" She kicked Marcia off of her body and crawled over to her brother.

She didn't make it far as Marcia grabbed her ankle and yanked her back towards her making Vivian slam her chin against the cement flooring in the store. They wrestled for a few more seconds until mall security dragged them apart and held two furious girls kicking at the air and struggling against the guards who were holding them.

What a fantastic day.

Keith, Vivian, and Marcia were seated at the police station, all with handcuffs on their wrists and bruises on their faces. "So, I guess you got your tennis practice in for today huh?" Keith sighed bitterly as he played with the cuffs he had grown so familiar with.

"You're fucking annoying, please do me a favor and shut up," Marcia barked as she kicked Keith's leg from his left.

"Hey," Vivian glared around Keith who looked like he wanted to die. "Kim Kardashian called and she wants her shitty contour back hun."

"I'm gonna rip your throat out!" Marcia shouted as she reached around Keith to try to grab his sister while Vivian shoved her hands away the best she could.

"Someone please kill me!" Keith groaned as he struggled between the two girls.

"Hey, Marcia!" A voice shouted from the front of the police station as a tall man with curly brown hair rushed in with a red face, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" He shouted as he pulled the girl away from Keith and Marcia effortlessly.

"Great, Vincent came to rescue me," Marcia rolled her eyes and shook the man off of her. "I bet you got the army of children with you as well."

Keith was about to say something until his escort driver walked in with an exhausted look on his face. "Ey, it's Jensen!" Keith exclaimed as he raised his hands into the air and waved at the driver with an excited smile. "We're over here buddy!" He called out.

"Keith?" Lance's voice sounded as he walked in through the front doors.

Keith was immediately reminded of his rage from earlier as the Latino boy walked over in confusion. "Who's that guy?" Vivian asked with curiosity.

Keith looked between Marcia and Lance before he glared at the boy, "He's the reason why we're even in this mess!" Keith shouted.

"Excuse me?" Lance gasped in astonishment as he placed a hand over his chest.

Keith stood up and narrowed his eyes at the boy, "You're sister fucking punched me because she heard your name!" He shouted before he reached out to strangle the taller boy in anger but thought twice as Vincent readied himself to pounce on Keith.

"I don't hold any responsibility for Marcia's actions Keith," Lance stated bluntly as he pushed the model out of his way to go to his sister. "And anyway, what's with the getup? Are you a poser or something?"

"I'm gonna wring your neck out," Keith hissed as he shoved Lance into Vincent who swore in Spanish as he caught Lance in his arms and stumbled backward.

"Keith, Vivian," Jensen stated in a gruff voice as he placed a hand on Keith's chest while Vincent held Lance back from launching any sort of attack against Keith. "I've paid for everything especially the bill for the destroyed property in the mall so let's just go before your mother grills me about this situation."

Vivian stood up and allowed an officer to unlock her cuffs before she rubbed her sore wrists. "We should go to the hospital to pick up Keith's medication first, the pain has been bothering him today."

"I'm fine!" Keith growled as he had the cuffs taken off of him by a reluctant officer. "We've got bigger issues to deal with anyways so let's just go home already."

He left the station behind Jensen as he supported his limping sister by slinging her arm around him. He sent one last glare at Lance just as the doors closed and he felt his anger go away once he was shut off from that icy gaze of his. "Was that the guy you thought was cute?" Vivian winced as she tried to smile, her busted lip was bruised and had dried blood on it.

"No," Keith frowned as he helped her into the car, "He's my rival."


	5. Instagram Disasters (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has dinner with his family but is in for a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, oh gods I am very Sorry about not updating! I was on a writing hiatus because I wasn't feeling too well in order to write any story but I am back now so hopefully I can update every one to two weeks! Please enjoy but also just a warning, my editor fixed some issues but not all so I apologize for those and I'll get around to them as soon as I can^^

That guy was so stupid, he was so rude, and worst of all he had a damn mullet! Lance was infuriated as he sat at the dinner table with his arms crossed over his chest, his finger tapping a mile a minute against his upper arm as he stared down at his dinner with a frown full of hatred on his face. He didn't want to eat, especially when he was so angry over the fact that Keith had tried to fight him in a police station of all places, what a complete idiot! Lance snorted to himself as he remembered the black eye Marcia had given Keith. He deserved it, he was a dick.

Lance's mother gave her son a soft look as she looked across the table at him. "Mi sol," his mother reached out to place her hand flat against the surface of the table, "What's wrong? Is your stomach okay, or is it that you're not hungry?"

Marcia sat to Lance's right as she frowned down at her food, gently poking it with a bilious look on her face. Her face was bruised badly; she had a black eye that was bloodshot, a cut on her eyebrow, a deep bruise on her cheekbone, and even a small cut on her chin showed the struggle she had had with a tennis player in a mall. 

"Lance is fine mom, he's just upset because Marcia's actions almost got him into trouble with the girl's brother she fought," Vincent stated with his son on his lap as he ate his food while the little boy dozed off peacefully holding his favorite teddy bear. Their youngest siblings were spending the night at their father's to avoid letting them see Marcia and witness the talk they were to have at any moment now.

Marcia clutched her fork tightly and frowned, "It was all his fault, he should've been punched by Keith..." She muttered under her breath as her blue gaze focused on her steak in pure anger, she could've set the world on fire with the anger within her irises. 

Lance glared at his sister and began drumming his finger on his arm harder as he tried to contain his annoyance. "It wasn't my fault at all Marcia, you're the one who punched him and fought his sister! I have to deal with Keith at my support group now, what will I do Wednesday when I see him?" He exclaimed.

Vincent sighed a little as he looked down to see his kid frowning in his sleep from the commotion. Ms. McClain pulled her hand to rest it on her chest as worry took over aging face, "Who's this Keith fellow? Should I take you out of your group or-" she was so concerned with Lance's safety that she didn't even notice her eldest daughter getting worked up for a round two but with her brother this time.

"He called me by your name you know!" Marcia slammed her fork down and lifted her face up to finally look Lance in the eyes, "If you were such a freak I wouldn't have lashed out, why do you look like me! It isn't fair you know, I deal with your bullying too!" Her eyes were beginning to water now and Lance felt as if his heart had been cut out of his chest. Marcia's bottom lip trembled slightly as she looked around the table to see wide eyes full of bewilderment. "I try so hard to cover my resemblance to you but no matter how hard I try to make myself look more like all the other girls I'm still that girl who's related to that freak of nature!" 

Lance was at loss for words as his hands fell into his lap slowly, everything had escalated so fast and he hasn't even had a chance to process exactly why his sister was about ready to burst into tears in front of him. His worry about Keith vanished and his anger had been turned into dirty, disgusting guilt. He felt like someone had dumped tar over his head and made sure that it was extra sticky to the point where he couldn't rub it off no matter how hard he tried. He felt shame for even being brought into the world, he felt sickened by the fact that he wasn't normal but just a walking disaster on two legs. That's all he was, a mistake made by mother nature herself from all the bad karma of the world. He wanted to go back to his middle school self and stop himself from throwing up his meal for the first time when he heard that someone had been making fun of his chubby figure.

He wanted to go back and fix himself and tell his old self he was going to be okay or maybe that he'd be a ladies man in the future; any lie that could spare his sister from the heartbreak she suffered from. "Marcia I-" Lance reached his hand out to comfort the girl but thought twice about it as he looked down at his lap and dug his nails into his pants bitterly.

"You all think I'm a bitch," she stated as she slowly stood up and wiped at her face as she winced in pain. "I can't help that I feel worthless when I'm compared to him, and that girl I fought was a stupid bimbo anyways. It shouldn't matter what injury I caused her. Her parents have the money to fix her up anyways, they're rich unlike us."

Their mother stood up and grabbed her daughter to pull her into a hug but was pushed away, "Marcia, you're better than this," Ms. McClain said softly as she didn't take Marcia's push as a no. She reached her arms out to try for another hug but was once again refused it. "Lance is a blessing to our family and so are you, don't listen to those children at school they don't understand the struggles of life."

"But don't they?" Marcia stared down at her mom with resentment in her eyes before she looked up at Vincent who was covering his son's ears. "I'm tired of having Lance around me all the time. Once a freak," Her blue gaze slowly settled on Lance as her face darkened into hatred, "Always a freak."

"Marcia!" Vincent shouted suddenly, he was no longer concerned with keeping Christian asleep at this point as he slammed his hand on the table aggressively. "Enough of this! Our family has been through enough already so why do you try to make Lance feel like the world is against him all the time? Get over your issues already and grow the hell up!" His brown eyes were burning with deep seeded anger as he glared at his sister with seriousness.

"Oh but-" their mother began an attempt to calm the dinner table down but she didn't get the chance to when Marcia shoved past her and walked through the back door to sit outside.

Lance couldn't get that disgusting feeling to go away and it made his stomach gurgle in a sickening feeling that was all too familiar. He stood up abruptly and slapped one hand against his stomach and the other onto his mouth causing his mother and brother to look at him with wide eyes before they relaxed slightly understanding what was about to happen. He looked down at his uneaten food and felt the feeling grow worse as he rushed by his family and straight to the bathroom in the next room over as he lost his lunch at the park that day. He felt gross like he was covered in slime that coated his skin in this thick green liquid. He was a freak wasn't he but there was nothing he could do to stop himself from doing what he did. It wasn't like he wanted to do it, his body and desires never connected to create a whole being; they were entirely separate with minds of their own and he was a victim.

The cleanup of the dinner table was easy and fast since none of them even whispered a word to each other. They put away the leftovers, scrubbed the dishes clean, and went off to their bedrooms to settle down for the night and try to forget everything that had happened. Lance laid in bed staring at his phone screen as he went through the group chat with a small, unnoticeable smile on his lips as he looked at all of the memes he and Katie had traded while Allura complained about how the youth should care more about politics and who would be leading their country in the future when they could vote. He closed his texts before opening Instagram to find himself staring at one of the recommended accounts being displayed; Keith Kogane. It was like he couldn't get away from the weird kid and it erased his memory of dinner as he frowned and tapped on the professionally shot profile picture of Keith wearing a white suit jacket and a black dress shirt as he looked off into the distance on a red background. His eyes stood out the most like amethysts in a red-hot fire that seemed to be full of so many emotions at once; disappointment, reluctance, rebellion, and even sadness.

Lance breathed out a long sigh as he skimmed over the bio;

Keith Kogane

Cancer survivor, model, child actor, LGBTQ+ supporter.

Likes cats and koi fish.

It was so plain for someone so... so Keith. The guy was a walking freak show with his weird getup of black and emo clothes worn, and what was with his normal public school kid look he had earlier that day when he had tried to kick Lance's ass for his own mistakes. He was hardly a cancer survivor, he had gotten it again and he obviously hated that fact, he was definitely a model with how many followers he had but Lance could not recognize him from any movie or show he had seen in his entire life. Well, he had never seen an angry, emo little boy with a mullet in any of the movies from his childhood. Keith was most definitely a cat person, he probably had a million of them and probably slept in a luxury bed full of cat fur but him, a fish person? The thought was ridiculous!

Lance skimmed the profile, tapping certain pictures to get a closer look at them and to read some of the craziest comments one could only see famous people get like, 'have my babies Keith!' or even 'daddy!' With a bunch of questionable emoticons following it. No wonder the kid was a wreck, he dealt with weird people trying to get his attention on social media, who knew what he had to deal with in real life.

Lance continued in his stalking session as he went deeper and deeper into the account to pull up a photo of Keith with shorter hair. He looked happier in this one, his smile stretched ear to ear and his eyes were full of pure happiness. He was surrounded by wildflowers and he wore a red shirt with a pair of shorts exposing his pale legs. Lance couldn't help but feel himself grow happy at the sight of this photo, it was as if Keith's smile was contagious. Lance rolled over onto his back and held his phone in the air before he began to read his rival's caption on the photo;

'Today marks the first cancer free day of my life after two years. I have never felt so light before, it's like a dreadful weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I'm ready to go back to working again and perhaps even ready to back to school. I missed being outside with nature; I'm complete again.'

Lance stared at the caption as he reread it and looked at the picture of the smiling boy. He had been so happy knowing he would be able to get out of the hospital and be normal again where he could strut around town and do anything he wanted to do without any handicaps preventing him from living his life as a normal boy. Lance could feel himself on the verge of forgiving the shorter boy as he stared at his phone screen, who could be upset at someone so innocent? His enjoyment was cut short when his phone slipped out of his hands and fell straight into his face causing him to squeak in pain as his nose began to throb harshly.

"Ack!" He exclaimed as he fumbled for the iPhone in his bed only to feel his heart drop, "Oh shit..." He whispered as he sat up and held his phone in shaky hands. He had accidentally liked the photo from a few months ago during his struggle and he understood what he had to do.

He tried to unlike it but his phone froze up with perfect timing on Keith's smiling face while Lance began hyperventilating in fear. "Oh, sweet baby Jesus have mercy on my soul!" He whined as he tapped his phone screen with such intensity that he would have broken the glass if he went any harder on it.

His life had come to an end, he had been caught red-handed in his stalking. Keith would surely tell everyone in the chat about this stupid mistake and mark Lance as a creeper or worse, a pervert. He was beginning to despair over the crazy scenarios playing through his head as he flopped over on his bed with his hand hung over the side of the bed with his frozen phone in it while his other hand covered his pained eyes.

Keith would turn everyone against him, his friends Katie and Hunk would hate him and never speak to him. Shiro would ignore him and never tell him another joke and Allura would probably tell him that he was a sick freak who deserved to die. This was the end of his life, what a cruel ride it gave him. Then his phone buzzed as it unfroze and he felt so overjoyed that he fell out of his bed rolling over to look at his phone to see what had made it vibrate.

He landed on the floor with a muffled thud and groaned as he looked at his notifications to see that Keith had requested to follow him. His face turned red hot as he stared at the follow request from the boy done up in white and black. This was so embarrassing. Lance rested his chin down on his floor in defeat as he pressed the accept button and allowed Keith to look at his terrible profile that only family followed which happened to just be thirty people reaching out to his cousins and people from family gatherings. Why was his life so complicated?

He watched in anticipation as he waited for his direct messages to pop up with a '1' mark that would let him know that Keith was about to drag him out of annoyance. "My social life is dead, it was killed before it even began!" Lance sang quietly to himself as he sprawled out on the floor with a sigh of defeat. He continued to sing pitifully as he waited for five, ten, even fifteen minutes until he felt his phone buzz slightly in his hand. This time he was rather reluctant to look as he pulled the phone close to his despondent face to see what Satan has presented to him.

'Keith Kogane liked your photo.'

That was something Lance didn't expect to see as he frowned and tapped the notification to get a closer look at it. It was a photo of him and Marcia when they were in their last year of middle school holding hands on the beach as they smiled and waved at the camera. Vincent was between them with his ex as they held their arms around either Lance or Marcia with so much love in their eyes. Lance's mother had taken the photo while she just had Heidi the four-year-old sibling of Lance's so she was taking the photo from behind a stroller with her two youngest in it as they stayed out of the hot sun. Vincent's ex would be pregnant a month after the photo before she left him ten months later.

Lance felt a sense of nostalgia as he stared at the photo quietly. It reminded him of better days, seeing his chubby little body made him seem almost happy knowing that Marcia was elated to have him as a brother before he had been diagnosed with bulimia. 'Why did he like this photo?' Lance questioned in his head as he stared at the photo until a comment appeared on it from Keith.

'An eye for an eye,' it read and Lance felt his entire existence piece itself back together. Keith had purposefully stalked Lance's profile to like an old photo of his like Lance had done but why? What was he to gain from it?

"This is too much in one night!" Lance whined as he childishly kicked the floor and dragged himself onto his bed.  

Did this mean Keith wasn't mad at him anymore for his mistake that day? It wouldn't change the fact that he was still Lance's rival though since Allura had the hots for Keith but it did change Lance's view of Keith slightly. Slightly. Not much but just a little. 

He shamefully went back and added that picture of a smiling Keith to his 'favorites' collection before he shut his phone off for the night and pulled his blankets over his head and squeezed his eyes shut for the final time on Saturday night.

He would have to see what Wednesday would bring him wouldn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I suck at these note thingies so I'm sorry I don't really say much in them :(
> 
> Marcia seems to be getting a lot of hate though on my other writing sites and I'm surprised by this (why am I surprised though?) So I kind of wanted to shed a little bit of light on why she hates Lance and treats him the way she does. People still hate her though but I'm sure it'll change over time, also Keith came off as really nice in this chapter and I didn't mean to make him that way but hey I'm gonna roll with it and see where it takes me.
> 
> It was Lance's birthday yesterday and I love my sun child so much ♥ happy late birthday Lance. He deserves the world.
> 
> Hope you all have an amazing night/day
> 
> -Anri (author)


	6. Weed Kills (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has issues understanding chemistry and is forced to resort to getting help from his rival but things go a little south...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, just want to say this chapter contains the usage of drugs and that I, in no way, support this behavior. The teens in this story are loosely based on the ones that went to my old high school since that was the only high school I've ever attended (until September when I start my new one) so there will be the use of drugs in the story during Keith's parts and occasionally alcoholic beverages when the POV shifts over to Shiro (there will be Shallura centered chapters because they need character development as well but usually it will be Klance chapters). Please enjoy!

Mondays. Many people often complained they hated these days simply because they're what shows the mark of the work week beginning but Keith hated Mondays simply because of one thing. He sucked at chemistry. Out of all the things he could have sucked at like calculus or even history, his brain chose the one that would get extremely complicated if you couldn't keep up with it.

He sat at the family table with his laptop in front of his face and a plate full of food and a cup of orange juice next to it with a look of complete and utter bleakness on his face as he stared at the formula for the heat of fusion. "I'm sure that my drama from Saturday is put behind everyone mom, no need to worry!" Vivian said with a weak smile as she ate her breakfast next to Keith.

The people who had filmed the fight posted it on social media with Vivian's name on it (for extra views of course) and it blew up at an alarming rate causing Keith's parents to feel concerned about how Vivian's future work opportunities would be affected by it and whatnot but also because they didn't want kids at her school to ask questions about it. Just by looking at the freshman's face you could tell that she had been in a nasty fight; her lip was bruised and busted, part of her cheekbone had been badly bruised causing an area in the white of her eye to become bloodshot, and she had a small band-aid on her eyebrow that covered a cut from one of the displays she knocked into. She looked better than Marcia for sure, Keith saw the photos in the group chat.

Keith squinted at the formula on his laptop as he tried to ignore his family. He liked to start his homeschooling early in order to enjoy the rest of his day but he hated having to listen to his family during breakfast. "Sweetie, people don't forget a pretty face like yours being in a fight!" Sandra exclaimed, "Especially when you fight with such lowlife trash," she sounded so privileged, Keith felt like puking where he sat with his eyes glued to the screen.

"She wasn't garbage..." Keith mumbled under his breath as he continued to dread over the question staring back at him on the laptop. 

Calling Marcia garbage was the pot calling the kettle black in a way since Sandra was absolute trash. Keith only defended Marcia because of one thing though, Lance. Once Keith got home Saturday night and had time to think things over in a hot bath, he realized it had been his own fault for confusing lance and Marcia but he would never admit that to the Spanish boy so instead, once he saw that Lance had stalked his Instagram and accidentally liked his old photo, he decided to return the favor. Well, he may have saved a few photos from Lance's profile but it wasn't like anyone could see his collections.

"Keith, don't look at the screen for too long or we'll have to buy your glasses," Keith's father sighed from where he sat, stuffing his face with waffles and bacon.

Keith shot a glare at the man with greasy hair before he went back to the question he just couldn't quite understand. "Mom, it isn't like I started the fight," Vivian stated defensively, "she punched Keith first and since he's a boy he can't hit her so I had to do something!" She exclaimed and pointed her fork at Keith.

'Don't drag me into this...' Keith frowned as he tried to hide behind his computer with a stressful face. He definitely didn't want to be dragged into this conversation when he had more pressing matters at hand. "That isn't the point!" Sandra gasped, "The point is that-"

"That what I did wasn't very ladylike and that I should never break a nail for a fist fight blah blah blah," Vivian mocked her mother's words from Saturday and used her free hand to mimic someone talking.

"Tell her to not speak to me in that tone!" Sandra ordered her husband who looked dead inside.

Keith's father sighed deeply and waved his hand lazily, "Don't disrespect your mother Vivian..."

"Like she'll listen to that!" 

"I did as you said."

"I still don't know why you're so concerned about a simple fight mother."

Keith pinched the bridge of his nose and felt like screaming in frustration as he clenched his teeth. He felt like he were about to explode and quite honestly if it helped him solve this heat of fusion problem he was totally okay with dying. "Shut up!" Keith shouted with distress as he stood up and grabbed his laptop roughly, leaving his uneaten food on the table. His family was made up of a bunch of children who couldn't do anything by themselves except when it came to certain things which made Keith abhor the thought of being around them all day long. "I'll be locked in my room so I can actually graduate on time if anyone needs me!" He announced with a bilious look to his face as he marched away without a peep of complaints from his family at the table who all had matching pouts on their faces.

Once he got to his room he tossed his computer onto his chair in front of his desk and collapsed onto his bed in frustration. He could do his work at any time of the day so a little relaxing couldn't hurt a soul, could it? He was about ready to drift off to sleep when his phone chimed receiving a text message making him flail around in his bed like a little child throwing a tantrum. Was it too hard to ask for a little quietness once in a while?

He rolled over in his bed and grabbed his phone and pulled it over to his face nearly ripping the charger out of the wall in the process. After a few swears and password fails, Keith managed to open his phone and see that it had been the group chat for his 'friends' that chimed. He watched as the group of four sent cringy texts to one another often using that stupid little 'XD' face and saying dumb things like 'rawr' or even 'nya~'. They sounded like weeaboos more than they did emo.

"Why are you bothering me so god damn early!" Keith wailed in despair as he read a text talking about going out to the woods later on after school to do what they normally did. He lazily agreed to this before he had a stroke of genius; he could as the support group chat if any of them knew how to solve heat of fusion problems.

Once he replied to the delinquent friends, he switched chats and began to type rather sloppily on his phone asking for help from anyone there on his chemistry. He felt like an idiot but hell, what did he have to lose? They probably already thought he was an idiot with how he dressed, talked, and how he started a fight with Lance's sister.

Within a minute he got texts back saying either 'no' or 'I don't have time for this' (thanks, Allura) from everyone but Lance who didn't reply yet. Keith groaned and considered just skipping his chemistry work altogether until he finally got an answer he was kind of looking for;

Weird food kid: Sure, I can help you after school as long as you admit you were in the wrong about trying to fight me at the police station (￣︶￣)

Keith cringed bitterly at the screen, there was no way in hell he would dare admit that in a group chat, not ever! He began to angrily mash his thumbs against his phone screen as he crinkled up his nose. How dare Lance have the audacity to act like a cocky, snot-nosed brat in front of the entire chat?

Keith: no way, you're a fucking prick you know that?

It wasn't before long until Lance responded with a quick little, 'My sister always says that' in the chat making Pidge ironically spam the laughing face emoji. Keith felt as if his blood were boiling in his veins as his face grew bright red in anger, he wanted to choke Lance the second he met him again.

Daddy issues: Just say you're sorry, Keith. All this arguing is pointless and won't help you at all.

Keith narrowed his eyes at Allura's texts as he smashed the back button and decided to privately text Lance quickly (and reluctantly) apologizing to him and asking him to help Keith with his chemistry later on that day. It showed that Lance opened and read it so Keith's chest became tight with anxiety as he awaited the verdict. The tiny bubble with three dots appeared before it disappeared nearly instantly, then it reappeared and stayed there for a long moment.

Keith felt like he was about ready to burst in a mixture of embarrassment, anxiety, and even impatience as he waited until he finally received it.

Weird food kid: Sure y not. But u got to help me w/algebra after I help u. K?

Keith sighed and felt his worries wash away as he quickly agreed to it and promised to uphold his end of the deal as long as he could help him well enough to understand it. They agreed to face timing later that night around eight and left it at that before Keith fell asleep texting him. He was actually happy and relieved as he shut his eyes slowly, drifting off into a dream he wouldn't wake from until two in the afternoon.

It had been about the fight that had happened on Saturday but the only thing different had been that his liver had gone into a total failure and forced him to go to the hospital. That was one of his biggest fears in the recent times; his liver going to shit and forcing him to be carried to the hospital only to find out that there was nothing the doctors could do. He would sit in his hospital bed alone as he stared at the water stained roof with tears in his eyes, no matter how rebellious and badass he acted, he still feared death like so many other people. He didn't want to die before he even found his true identity out in the real world.

When he awoke, his day had gone by in a blur up until the moments he shared with his 'friends' in the woods behind the mini-mart they often went to in order to do some activities that weren't so legal. There was a small area with a large rock where they all sat at as they drew stupid things on the stone's surface and laughed as they each took a hit from a blunt. They were what most would call troubled but Keith really enjoyed this part of hanging out with the cringe-fest of a friend group since weed actually helped him with his pain. 

"Yo, what if I like," Damon began to squint into the distance as he spoke aloud. He was the 'leader' of sorts, whatever he wanted to do was what everyone did. He wore white face paint and wore black contacts that gave Keith the creeps at times and he also wore a necklace with a pentagram on it. "What if we spray paint dicks on Mrs. McKinley's house tonight?" He offered.

Crystal, or Raven as she preferred to be addressed as, shook her blue pigtails curtly and rolled her eyes as she sucked in a deep breath with the lit blunt that would be passed to Keith once she was done. "That's wayyyy too easy, she's like sixty Damon, why not do it to the sheriff?" She blew out a puff of smoke and giggled slightly as she leaned over to look at Keith with dull green eyes full of content. She held the blunt up to his lips and the two of them giggled, "Take your hit, Keith!" She exclaimed as he leaned over and took his fair share.

He blew the smoke into the air and laughed slightly, "I'd fucking love to get revenge on that asshole!" Keith exclaimed as he smiled at Raven.

Raven was the only girl in the group so she sort of floated around the group for the lack of a better term. All of them except Keith had tried their way with her and she was very insistent on trying to get in his pants with how much she tried to flirt with him by sitting on his lap, purposely dropping stuff in front of him when she wore a low-cut shirt, the list honestly could go on for years but the most recent was when she got dressed in front of him after they went swimming in her school pool at night. She was a sweet girl when she wasn't trying so hard but the name Raven didn't quite fit her. She chose that name because she thought it had been 'edgy' and 'emo'. Keith had no issues with her unless she wanted to be called a stupid name like 'Ebony' or even 'Enoby' but Raven just wasn't her thing.

"Get a room you two!" Damon exclaimed lazily as he reached over and took their blunt away from Raven's hand.

Off to the side, drawing, as usual, sat Ricky who was the freak of the group in Keith's eye. He had long, black hair with red tips and would make poetry about suicide and just draw questionable things all day. According to Damon, Ricky belonged to a suburban family which was hard to imagine since the scrawny kid looked like his clothes came from the goodwill dumpster half the time.

Keith shook his head at Damon and tried to not sound rude to the girl who was now leaning on him with her chest against his arm and her black and pink skirt hiked as far up as it could go. "I'm not going to be doing anything with Raven..." He smiled weakly. Trust the gay guy, he knew what he was saying even while under the influence.

If he could describe how he felt in as few words as possible it would be that he felt like his body was lighter than a cloud and his chest was all warm and fuzzy. "That's what Damon said before he had her cheat on me with him," Whispered Ricky from his little-secluded area where he continued to draw with chalk on the stone.

"Let bygones be bygones dude," Damon sighed out a large puff of smoke as he laid against the rock happily.

Keith yawned loudly as he stretched his free arm and itched the side of his head. "How's your eye?" Raven asked in concern as she reached up and touched his bruised eye gently before jumping when Keith winced in pain.

"It hurts like a bitch," Keith admitted to the girl as he slouched slightly. He wanted to check his phone for some odd reason but he didn't want to seem rude.

Raven cuddled up against him and began to slide her hand down his arm and began to edge a little too close to a certain area which sent Keith into high alert. He may try to be nice to the girl but there was a fine line of what she could and couldn't do to him, touching him below the navel area was definitely off limits as a gay man. "I really like sensitive guys you know..." She whispered making Keith's heart nearly explode in surprise.

He should have known she would try to flirt with him physically like this but he didn't expect her to do it so soon in their friendship. He went to push her off of him until his phone began to ring in his pocket giving him an amazing reason to cut this interaction short. He shook her off and dug into his pocket for his phone to see that it was Lance calling him. It was seven thirty.

He had forgotten about their little thing. He nearly screamed in frustration as he excused himself and slid off the rock and onto the leafy ground below him. He swiped right to answer the call and tried to sound well put together, "What's up man?" He coughed slightly.

Lance was silent on the other end for a moment as Keith walked around the forest a little, "Keith, you answered my face time. Why are you holding your phone against your ear?" Lance asked in a cheerless tone.

Keith nearly dropped his phone and crushed it under his heel in embarrassment as he reluctantly pulled it away from his ear to look at the screen to see an unexpected yet beautiful (was that really the word to describe it though?) sight on Lance's end. The boy was wearing a large T-shirt that barely fit his skinny frame, shorts, a pair of thick-framed black glasses, and his supposedly 'straight' locks of hair curling up slightly making him look like someone entirely new and very hypnotic to stare at. Maybe it was the weed talking or not but Keith could help himself as he held the phone really close to his face to get a closer look at Lance. 

"Damn..." He breathed out as he squinted at the very creeped out, curly-haired Lance McClain who seemed like he would rather die than talk to Keith. 

Lance narrowed his eyes with a bleak look on his face, "Pardon me?" He mused as Keith continued to stare at him quietly. "Are you high?" Lance asked with fake concern.

"No," Keith responded a bit too quickly as he began to stumble out of the woods. The mini-mart was only two minutes away from his house so he could totally make it there in time for Lance to help him. "Are you high?" He asked.

Lance stared blankly at the phone before letting out a very long and dreadful sounding sigh, "I'll help you tomorrow I suppose. Bye," he reached over to end the call but Keith didn't want to lose sight of such a beautiful thing.

Keith stopped where he stood and threw his arms into the air before he shouted, "Stop!" At the top of his lungs causing Lance to freeze up with his hand reaching out to his phone with a look of surprise painted across his face. 

Lance placed his face in his hands and sighed once again, "Eres más malo que marihuana..." He groaned deeply in a depressed tone as if talking to Keith was some sort of task.

Keith gasped and brought his phone close to his face once more, "Are you an alien? I bet you're an alien because you used that weird alien language just now!" He was a believer.

Lance seemed like he wanted to cry in pity for himself as he looked at his phone in despair, "I spoke in Spanish Keith, Spanish! That isn't a stupid alien language!" He exclaimed.

Keith stared at his phone in disbelief as he left the woods, forgetting to even tell his friends, he was going to head home. "I know what Spanish sounds like, I had a Spanish teacher but you don't sound anything like her!" Keith stated.

"I'm a boy Keith, I won't sound like a woman speaking Spanish..." Lance mumbled. He ran his thumbs across his eyebrows as he took a deep breath, "Y'know what, yeah I'm an alien but you got to keep it secret and I'll keep the whole part with you staring at me and breathing heavily into the mic to myself. Deal?" 

"Well I don't want what happened to ET to happen to you Lancelot," Keith whispered quietly into the phone as if someone were going to hear him on the very quiet road he walked on.

Lance leaned back slightly as his blue eyes widened, "What did you just call me?" Lance asked.

Keith pressed a finger to his lips, "Shhh, Lancelot keep your voice down or they could hear you."

Lance was stunned for a moment until a small smile played its way across his lips, "Lancelot? I like the ring it has, sounds like the name given to a knight doesn't it?" He sang.

Keith shook his head, "No, a prince!" He proclaimed to the world with such confidence in his voice that Lance couldn't help but laugh in hysterics. Keith frowned in confusion at his phone as Lance held a hand against his stomach while he laughed. "Did I say something wrong?" He asked quizzically.

Lance shook his head, "No, I'm just happy you're not going to remember any of this that happened when you wake up tomorrow," He stated and shifted his position on his bed so that he was closer to the phone with his chin in his palm. "Where you heading, samurai?" He asked.

Keith smiled at his nickname as he picked up his pace, "Home, I don't want to miss my study session with you, heat of fanta is hard to understand," he replied.

"Fusion, also you say fanta weirdly," Lance stated nonchalantly. "You say it like faun-ta, it's fan-ta."

"Fanta," Keith corrected Lance's inquiry.

Lance narrowed his eyes slightly as his smile dropped, "No it is fanta. Emphasis on fan," He growled.

Keith shook his head with annoyance, "Look it up you shitty alien, it is fanta!" Keith hissed.

The two began to argue back and forth about the proper pronunciation of the damn soda product while Keith walked up his driveway, completely ignoring his mother and her group of friends who come over all the time to share cups of wine and talk about how their husbands aren't performing well enough to suit their needs anymore. Sandra only looked up once when Keith screamed 'Fanta' at the top of his lungs before slamming his bedroom door shut obnoxiously.

"Well wake up my whole damn family why don't you!" Lance huffed as he crossed his arms on his bed.

Keith collapsed on his bed and put his phone on the charger, "You mean your bitchy sister?" He asked.

Lance clenched his jaw for a second and look away from the camera as he sat in silence, then he let out a small sigh and relaxed once more. "Sorry Keith, about the whole Marcia thing. Don't hold anything against her will 'ya? She's going through a rough time too you know."

Keith stared at his phone quietly as he admired how much Lance could still care for someone like the girl who punched him without provocation. "Sure, I guess?" He said warily.

Lance yawned and stretched his arms above his head slowly before he relaxed and rubbed his eyes under the pair of glasses he wore. "I should be heading to bed, sorry we didn't get to help you with your problem because you were high so maybe tomorrow or Wednesday night if we get paired up together?" He mumbled.

"Sure, goodnight Lancelot. Dream of your alien friends," Keith giggled slightly as he too yawned.

"Spanish friends," Lance corrected Keith once more before he looked down and away from the camera. "Can I say something before we end the call?" He asked quietly. "You won't remember it so I'll be fine."

That's a common misconception, high people do remember everything that happened to an extent but curiosity knew Keith too well, "I won't remember so ask away."

"Well, I wanted to know what you thought of me. Not in a romantic way obviously since we barely know each other but if we were friends; what would you think about me?" He asked with blue eyes full of hope.

Keith's purple gaze stayed on Lance's while he spoke confidently, "I would think you're weird, but not weird weird like the creepy weird. The acceptable weird that makes your friends happy to be around you. I would also think that I would compliment your smile because it looks really pretty and-"

"Okay, I think that should be the end of the call before you admit your undying love to me, Samurai," Lance covered his smile as he tried not to laugh at his own joke.

Keith frowned, "I could never love someone as weird as you!" He exclaimed.

Lance dropped his hand and revealed his smile as he reached over to end the call, "I thought you said I was a good weird?" When he saw how distraught Keith was over the statement that completely contradicted what he had just shouted, Lance smiled even wider. "Goodnight, Keith."

The call ended after the final goodbye and Lance left Keith speechless as he stared at the phone to see they had spoken to eight thirty. He must've taken a very long time to walk all the way home since he was preoccupied with Lance. He slipped on his shirt and wiped off the stupid makeup on his face before he changed into a pair of shorts himself and settled back into bed to stare at the empty space beside him.

Lance was stupid, Keith could never ever love someone like him. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO, they're not gonna bang next chapter, sorry. I pace the romance in my stories usually and it takes 11-13 chapters usually to get the romance in it sometimes but this one will take like 23 to be honest because character development and world development and whatnot y'know. Don't get upset over this because love doesn't happen instantly and it takes time before it really happens. These two will be bros before they hoe around with each other y'all.
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter because I actually had some fun writing it. Please correct the Spanish in this chapter if it sounds a bit wonky, I didn't pass my Spanish class (I failed when I didn't cheat on tests) so I'm not the best at it. Sorry
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading♥


	7. Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance helps a girl in chemistry but ends up paying the price for it

Where to begin? Was it right to start with him on the floor crying as his bully slammed his foot into Lance's stomach, or perhaps it would be right, to begin with that morning during class...or it would be okay to skip all of this? It wouldn't be fair though, would it? It would be selfish to leave out the bits that allow you to take a peek into someone's life, to see the true them that lies beyond the mask they wear to the world.

Well, if we're going to show the whole truth, it started in the fourth period when Lance had been working on his chemistry homework during the classes free time. He had been minding his business as he explained the reason why hydrogen bonds in water were strong when someone placed their worksheet on his desk and crouched down next to him with a giant smile on her face. The girl crouching down to peek over Lance's desk had long blonde hair in one of those high ponytails girls seemed to be trying to make into a trend, a black cardigan with a pink blouse tucked into a grey skirt, a pair of black tights, and finally a pair of heels that made her taller. 

Her blue eyes sparkled slightly as she grinned at Lance making him feel the fiery gaze of Lotor's eyes on his back. The guy's on and off again chick was about to make Lotor jealous by using the kid he bullied. Lance was so not dealing with this bullshit. He glanced at her for no longer than a single second before he turned his gaze back to his paper and began to work on the next question which asked for the definition of a vacuum.

The blue-eyed girl smiled, "Are you ignoring me, Lance? I just wanted to talk to you!" She said in a cheerful voice.

Lance wasn't falling for it. He pulled the sleeve of his blue hoodie over his left hand and used it to shield him from the jealous gaze being thrown his way by his tormentor across the room at the table of douchebags. "No one wants to talk to me unless we're forced to partner up," Lance stated in an annoyed tone as his writing became rushed. He really really just wanted to turn in his homework for that night so he could use more time to teach Keith.

Nyma furrowed her little blonde eyebrows and tapped her manicured nails on the tabletop. "I just need help with the worksheet..." She mumbled pitifully.

Lance looked over at her sheet and nearly shoved it off the table when he saw that she hasn't even written her name on the sheet. "Do you need me to write your name on it too?" He asked sarcastically. If she were any other girl, especially Allura, he would've literally jumped into a hot pool of lava just to flirt with them, but Nyma was already taken in this confusing relationship between her and one of the best players on the football team.

"Why are you being so mean to me?" Nyma pouted slightly which made Lance's cheeks burn red hot. She was kinda cute when she pouted and he was fighting a war inside his heart as he tried to figure out if he wanted to help the blonde or to shove her away and save his own skin. Her fingers walked their way across his desk and gently played with the sleeve of his right arm. "I'm not with Lotor anymore, so you don't need to worry about him, could you just help me with this? I can't seem to remember how to do stoichiometry."

'Can't she take no for an answer? God damn, she's persistent,' Lance thought to himself in annoyance as his blue eyes settled down onto her hand. Who could really blame his heart for doing summersaults in his chest, for his brain screaming nonstop, or even for the fact that his foot was tapping against the cheap flooring a mile a minute? Nyma was the most popular girl in his entire school and had a perfect record, she was also ranked number one on 'The Chart'. She was stunning and Lance wanted to melt in her touch and fade away with the image of her smile in his mind. He was her own little lapdog ready to go running at her beckoning call.

"S-Sure!" Lance stuttered and felt his ears beginning to grow red as he leaned over and began to explain the problem to Nyma in steps. 

In no time the girl was flirting with him and sending looks over at her ex that was screaming, 'jealous?' Lance was completely unaware as he was sucked into a trance. He couldn't seem to keep himself calm while Nyma flirted with him so openly in front of the whole class and even occasionally she would 'accidentally' touch his hand while they worked together. It was like one of those horrible cliché high school movies where the loser got the hot romantic interest in a weird twist of fate but he might as well have flowers caught in his throat since this little admiring crush was one-sided.

"You get it now?" Lance asked Nyma nervously as he smiled down at her.

Nyma peeled her eyes off of Lotor and nodded in elation, "Mhm, you're so smart Lance. To be perfectly honest I don't think I would have been able to do it alone so..." Her voice trailed off as a pink blush crossed her cheeks making Lance's heart go into full shutdown mode from cuteness. God, he loved pretty faces with innocent blushes. "Want to sit with me at lunch and help me more?" She asked nervously.

Lance could not believe his ears. Nyma, the Nyma Roberts that was ranked number one, was personally inviting him to sit next to her at lunch. This created conflict for him since Hunk invited him to sit with his friends from the cooking club, but the big guy would understand Lance's reasonings for going to sit with Nyma to help her with science. Right? He had to, it was like every boy's dream at Hyde High School.

Lance nodded enthusiastically as he smiled innocently at Nyma, "Y-Yeah! I'll help you with anything you need Nyma!" He said in excitement.

His mind was short-circuiting already, but Nyma made it worse by kissing him on her cheek leaving behind a red lip mark on his dark-colored cheek as she walked away, swaying her hips as she made her way back to her desk, heels clicking away to the rhythm of her own confidence. Wow, Lance was a total wolf for this chick. He was already drooling over himself as he giggled slightly and touched his cheek with his fingertips longing to feel the touch of her lips on him again. He was so ready to throw himself at her feet.

The bell rang a few minutes later signaling the students to go to either their fifth-period class or to their lunch period. Lance had second lunch like most of the school so he was forced to go to his history class with his bag slung over his shoulder as he wiped away the traces of Nyma's kiss. He had been snacking on a pack of graham crackers and finished the entire row which meant that his body was about to do the one thing he hated the most. Reject the choice of trying to be normal.

Once he finished up his business inside of the bathroom stall he grabbed a paper towel sheet from next to the sink and wiped his mouth clean before he turned the cold water on and began to splash his face to get some color back to it, helping the fuzziness in his head go away. He felt weaker than usual today which was understandable since he didn't have very natural habits, but he felt like he were on cloud nine even so since Nyma had kissed him. That was something that would honestly follow him for the rest of the week or even month. It was the first kiss (on his cheek) that hadn't been from family, so it was special.

Or it had been, until two hands slammed into his side forcing him to fall onto his left side and slam his head on the floor, causing his vision to become blurry. There was a tall figure standing above him, their hands balled into fists at his sides and his shoulders heaving up and down as he breathed heavily. It was Lotor, naturally, who else had the balls to physically harm Lance on school property after all? Lance felt like crawling out of the bathroom to hide away in a locker and never come out ever again, he knew what was about to happen.

"You touched my girlfriend you fucking prick!" Lotor growled as he walked over to Lance and grabbed his hoodie in order to lift him up and slam him against a wall, knocking all the air out of Lance's lungs instantly causing him to gasp for air and claw at Lotor's hand that held him up from the floor, leaving Lance's feet to dangle in the air. 

"She touched me, you've got it all wrong I-" Lance wanted to resolve this peacefully, but he didn't have the chance to as he felt the blow of Lotor's free hand against his stomach creating indescribable pain to course through Lance's body, but before he could even cry out, Lotor used the same hand to cover Lance's mouth.

His golden eyes narrowed on Lance as he kept a firm grip over the boy's mouth, "Did I give you permission to fucking talk?" He asked as he pressed up against Lance's body with the look of murderous intent in his eyes.

"Yoooo," a voice sounded from the entrance making Lotor drop Lance onto the floor instantly. A normal student with a pair of sweatpants and glasses stared at the pair with wide eyes. He clutched a bag of clothing in his hands as he backed away, "I'll just go and get changed in another bathroom, far, far away from here."

The boy skittered out of the bathroom leaving behind a whimpering Lance and an angered Lotor. Lotor spat onto the floor and crossed his arms, "Damn, I have to get to history or that stupid teacher will tell coach I skipped again..." He sighed deeply as he touched his chin. Then he glared down at Lance and kneeled down to look the boy in the eye. "If I see you and Nyma anywhere near each other again, I'll be sure that if I see you off campus, I'll make it so that you never want to live again."

Lance stared into Lotor's eyes before he dropped his gaze to the floor and pressed his back against the wall in order to put distance between them. "R-Right," He whimpered. His heart was busy running the bloody mile in his chest as he tried to keep himself from collapsing from the pain running through his body currently. This was so lame.

Lotor grabbed Lance's face and yanked it up to look him in the eye as he leaned dangerously close to Lance's face, to the point where the Cuban boy could feel his hot breath tickling his lips. "Say it again, but sound even more pathetic than what you are," he chuckled. He definitely got off on this knowing how much pleasure he was about to get out of humiliating Lance like this.

Lance squeezed his eyes shut as tears threatened to spill over his cheeks, he didn't want Lotor to do anything while he was so defenseless, he was afraid. "Y-Yes Lotor... I understand," he whimpered and tried to tug his face away from the boy's grip.

He knew Lotor was still inches from his face since that disgustingly warm breath of his danced across Lance's cold skin as he leaned over to Lance's ear slowly. His cheek touched Lance's, but the feeling of Lotor's breath against Lance's ear made the poor boy shiver in fright. "Say it again but call me sir."

Why would Lance let such a jackass take control over his life? The cliff note version was simply because Lance was the weakest of the weak. He was a piece of grass on the food chain. He swallowed down hard as he ignored the feeling of Lotor's smooth skin against his, "Yes... y-yes sir," He whispered and felt a tear slide down his cheek.

He wanted to cry out in fright when Lotor chuckled in his ear sadistically and shoved off of the skinny boy he constantly tortured for his own sick pleasure. "Good, I'll see you later then Lance. Be sure to not touch what isn't yours or I'll have fun with your little body ~" Lotor sang as he left the bathroom in pleasure.

Lance opened his eyes and wiped away the tear with his sleeve quickly before glaring at the bathroom door in anger. "What are you, fucking gay?" Lance spat as he prayed that his bully didn't hear him, he didn't want round two that was for sure, but he couldn't help himself from making that lame remark.

So what did he do? You're probably wondering if Lance sat with Nyma out of spite but that's not what happened. He gathered his stuff and left school with his mother's permission given to the office using the excuse that he had felt really weak. When he got home he didn't even talk to his mother who had generously picked him up from school as he stomped all the way into his room and slammed the door shut, before throwing his bag onto the floor and practically ripped his hoodie from his body in order to stand in the mirror. Why was he so scrawny? He looked like a damn stick bug. He was so revolting, he wanted to throw the mirror onto the floor and break his reflection, he was just so angry. No, he was pissed off at the world for making him this way. His nose twitched as his shoulders heaved to the tempo of his heavy breathing.

He wanted to destroy everything in his room, he wanted to make everything disappear and just sit on the floor and cry until he could no more. He wanted it to end, all the suffering he went through at school, what was it all for? What was even the point in this? He slowly pulled his black shirt up from his torso and felt his stomach knot up at the sight of a dark bruise forming on his stomach. His throat tightened in a way that it felt as if a snake were wrapping itself around his neck as it whispered such outrageous things into his ear, calling him no good, a useless member of society, or even a waste of breath.

Lance wanted to believe none of this was true but he just... he couldn't. He dropped his shirt in disgust and walked himself over to his bed before falling down onto his back to stare at the painted clouds above him. He was different and it was something he had to accept, but it felt like an impossible task. How can you love yourself when all anyone else does around you is look at you with so much disgust? 

"Mi sol?" Lance's mother's voice sounded as she knocked on the door and opened it slowly in order to peek inside. Her blue eyes were wide with worry as she stepped in and closed the door behind her, "Should we go to the doctors to see if they can do anything to help you?" She asked as she fixed her beige dress quietly before finding herself a spot to sit down next to Lance as he stared at the ceiling quietly. 

Lance shook his head slowly, "Nothing that a little bit of rest can't fix, mom," he smiled and turned his gaze to the best woman in his life he could ever ask for. "Are you okay though? Marcia has been a handful and it's all my-"

Ms. McClain shook her head and placed her small hand onto Lance's slightly larger one, "When you get to my age, sol, your children throwing little fits such as Marcia's is nothing but a simple thing. She could do those tantrums all day but I wouldn't care, I am still happy with my family," she smiled widely.

Lance couldn't help but smile along with her, "How can you stay so positive when dad left you to raise all of us on your own? He's off with the secretary he cheated on you with and you're just so happy, how?" Lance questioned his mother as he sat up on the bed and leaned against the petite woman.

Ms. McClain shrugged slightly as she wrapped her arms around Lance's body and began to hum a tune of a lullaby to him. "I can be happy because I've got all my children with me in my house. Victor can leave me with the bills and five kids- not counting Vincent's, but I won't complain because seeing my babies smile is what keeps me going in this world," She said slowly as she rocked Lance back and forth. "You've just got to find someone you'll love unconditionally and they'll be able to help you keep a level head in any time of crisis."

"I wish I had a mini-me so I could be strong like you..." Lance mumbled under his breath.

Ms. McClain laughed slightly, "Oh don't bring any more babies into this house, I may love all of you here unconditionally, but a woman can only handle so much screaming in one day!"

The two of them laughed at her joke and sat on the bed for a while longer in silence until it was time for her to go and make snacks for Heidi, Christian, and Patrick for when they got home. She gave Lance a kiss on his forehead and squeezed him tightly in her arms making him wince in pain, but it was all worth it since he got a hug from his mother.

Once she shut the door behind herself, Lance reluctantly pulled his phone out in order to apologize to Hunk for not being with him and his few friends at lunch with a long paragraph explaining how he became suddenly ill and had to leave school. He hated lying, but he didn't want to listen to someone give him the bully talk. Y'know the overly cliché one which included reporting the situation to an adult, asking the bully to stop politely, etc. Then, he told Keith that he wouldn't be able to help him with chemistry again because he was babysitting. He didn't want to look like shit on camera when he talked to his rival, but he pondered the idea of screwing with the Asian boy by calling him again dressed like he had been the previous night.

Lance wouldn't admit it out loud but seeing Keith under the influence had been surprisingly adorable. Well, entertaining. He found the fact that the boy had been shouting about aliens and fanta on the street and how he stared at Lance with giant purple eyes and whispered 'damn' to himself had been a very cute thing. Seeing a grunge looking boy say such things would so make anyone laugh and smile. Lance hit send on his text and quickly closed his phone and placed it on silent so that he could be by himself for the rest of the day. He was going to enjoy the quietness of his room and try to ignore the stabbing pain on his torso.

He wanted to feel like he was the only person in the world, maybe he would like himself then since he was the only person on the entire globe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, Lotor came off really weird in this chapter and I question why I write at 3AM every night since it causes me to make characters like Lotor;;
> 
> I apologize if this chapter wasn't really that great but next chapter will be at the support group so enjoy.


	8. Keith and the Alien (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith goes to the support group meeting noticing that Lance is in pain but he just can't seem to look the boy in the eyes after the events from earlier that week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allura isn't really in character in this chapter, my apologies. Aside from that, please enjoy :)

It was so... bright.

The church where the meetings were held was just so happy and it totally clashed with Keith's outfit and mood. He sat in the car next to his driver that toted him around everywhere when his parents were too busy. Jensen didn't have a family so he mainly spent his time taking orders from Keith's parents as they directed Him where to go and when he had to get there and be back by. He definitely hated his job which was apparent as he smoked inside of his black car with all the windows down, his head stuck out the window and everything. He wasn't a day over thirty but he looked old as hell itself on a bad day. His black hair was styled into a comb-over and he wore the suit Keith's parents gave him to wear because you got to roll in style if you wanted to be part of the Kogane household.

Keith tapped his fingers on his tight jeans and whistled quietly, "So, meet any girls recently?" Keith asked his driver.

Jensen looked back at Keith before he took another breath from the cancer stick. "I don't tell you or your sister about my personal life, conversing with demons is against my religion."

Keith pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes like what his mother would do when she held back a sarcastic comment. "Understandable..." Keith sighed and checked the time. Only two minutes to wait until he got to leave the car.

Jensen was in a bad mood today, Keith could tell because normally the man wouldn't have issues talking to the young boy and would often time bail him out of getting in trouble with his parents when he came home really late at night. "So I'm thinking about going to university after high school and this whole cancer thing, any clue as to what I should major-" Keith continued trying to make small talk but Jensen cut him short.

"Honestly, I think you should major in shutting up," He blew smoke out of the window and Keith became highly annoyed.

'He probably got stood up,' Keith thought to himself as he opened his door in order to leave the car, he would be fine arriving early. Being anywhere but stuck in a car with a stress smoker would be a blessing to his soul and he definitely didn't want to be there when Jensen cracked and starting crying about his girl problems. It was like dealing with a grown-up male version of Vivian.

"Stay here until I come back out," Keith ordered Jensen as he carefully closed the passenger door gently so he wouldn't get yelled at for harming Jensen's pride and joy.

It was late spring so the air was getting hotter and hotter by the day, surprisingly there hadn't been any rain showers during the month like usual. Keith crossed the parking lot and noticed Shiro getting out of his own car as the boy got ready to head inside. He was wearing a school uniform presumably from the academy he and Allura went to. The summer uniform (which they changed to right before the start of summer) for males consisted of the normal black slacks and shoes, but Shiro had the long sleeves of his button up shirt rolled up and his tie hung loosely around his neck. He looked like eye candy and Keith definitely wouldn't have taken his eyes off of the boy until someone short bumped into him making him stumble into the receptionist's car.

"Hey, watch it!" Katie exclaimed as she looked up from her stupid little Nintendo with a scrunched up nose.

Keith glared down at Katie and narrowed his eyes, "You're the one who ran into me, maybe you should watch where you're going. Kid."

"Want to say that again?" Katie snapped the Nintendo shut and pushed her glasses up on her nose before she rolled up the sleeves of her oversized sweatshirt. "I'll make you say goodbye to your kneecaps!"

"Hey, hey!" Shiro exclaimed as he slammed the door of his truck closed and rushed over too easily lift Katie off the ground with one arm before the short girl could kick Keith's knees in. "Why are you guys fighting? We haven't even gone to the meeting yet!" He exclaimed with a worried expression.

Before Keith could say anything else, the passenger side door of Shiro's truck closed a little more softly and Allura stepped around the truck with concern in her eyes. "Is something wrong Shiro?" She inquired and began to walk over to the three, her blue eyes focused on the wriggling Katie as the sandy-haired freshman tried to escape the arm of her captor.

'There's something wrong with this picture,' Keith thought to himself as he raised his eyebrow while his eyes looked over Allura. Her school skirt wasn't even hiked up like what most girls would do to capture the attention of the boys they were interested in and her blouse was fully buttoned with her tie tight on her neck. There was something definitely wrong with this picture especially if Shiro had driven her here. 

"N-No," Shiro smiled awkwardly as he set Katie down on the asphalt once more.

Katie however, wouldn't leave it at that. She looked at Allura and crossed her arms, "Yeah there is a problem actually, it's called your outfit. You look like a forty-two-year-old virgin."

Keith's hand shot up to his mouth as he tried to stifle the obnoxious snort he made at Katie's comment that took Allura by complete surprise. The blue-eyed senior stared at Katie with wide eyes as she looked down at her outfit and frowned before she crossed her arms over her chest, "Sorry for having some decency when it comes to my body!" She hissed.

"Hey," Shiro held his hands up and looked at the two girls with wide grey eyes, "How about we just go inside and forget all of this even happened, okay?" He tried to reason with the girls but if Keith had learned anything from the fight at Victoria's secret, you could never get through to two girls who were angry.

"How could I just ignore that little comment she made?" Allura scoffed and pointed at Katie with annoyance.

Katie shrugged her shoulders, "You're only getting upset because it's a fact and facts don't care about your feelings sweetie," she smirked smugly before she began to march away, tossing Keith a little glance.

Allura was at loss for words as her eyes tracked Katie's every movement while her nearly white eyebrow twitched in frustration. Keith stuffed his hands into his pockets and pursed his lips before he swiveled around on his heels, "Hope you have fun getting paired up with Katie, Allura," He stated nonchalantly which sent Allura into another fit as Shiro tried to calm her down while trying to not lose his mind at the same time.

Keith could have guessed it from the very first meeting but his suspicions were only just now confirmed after seeing Allura get out of Shiro's care; those two were definitely going to have a little thing going on together pretty soon. Who knows what would happen if they got paired up together. 'Love is in the air, isn't it?' Keith thought to himself with a little smirk, he sooooo wanted to see the look on Lance's face when the Hispanic kid found out the girl he was crushing on was already on the path of falling head over heels in love with Shiro (Keith couldn't blame her either like, have you seen his muscles?)

Lance and Hunk were already inside with the little midget named Katie Holt as they waited for Olivia to invite them into the little room where they discussed their issues with one another. Keith was very well aware of the fact that the black eye Marcia gave him was still slightly visible under the makeup he wore on his face and it bothered him as he pushed the doors open to see half of the support group look at him.

Hunk looked like he did the last meeting, he wore darker colors to not stand out but he had a little yellow bandana wrapped around his head. Katie wore a pair of jeans this time but the same exact sweatshirt from the last meeting. Lance was the only one who looked different, last time he wore an oversized sweater that gave him 'sweater paws' (Keith really liked it but he wasn't going to admit that out loud) and a pair of jeans but today he looked stressed out and winced whenever he moved slightly. He wore a blue hoodie that had probably seen better days and blue jeans with holes in them, his hair was an absolute mess and pieces of it curled up like a cowlick. He looked like shit.

"Whoa, your eye..." Hunk breathed as his brown eyes widened. He clamped his hands over his mouth quickly and muffled out an apology, "I-I mean, s-sorry!"

Keith shrugged as he pulled his grey hoodie over his head and kept his eyes off of Lance even though his mind buzzed with questions about why the boy looked like he was in so much pain. He was embarrassed about the whole face time thing still and definitely didn't have the guts to look Lance in the eyes after he told him his smile was really cute but he was also still pissed off over the fact he got punched by the boy's twin. "It's nothing, don't worry about it Hunk."

Katie snickered slightly, "You didn't see the video did you Hunk? Keith got punched by a girl and his little sister fought her. It was brutal as hell!" She stated and pulled out her phone in order to present the video to Hunk.

The man behind the reception desk stared at Katie in horror as she spoke such unholy words in front of the ugly painting of Christianity's lord and savior. To Keith, the painting looked like something a bunch of kindergartners created using random colors they could get their grubby hands on. The painter probably tried to be avant-garde but it came out as avant-détritus.

Keith reached out to grab Katie's phone out of embarrassment but the short girl dodged his attempt easily and pulled up the video to show the security camera's footage of Keith getting his shiner. "Katie!" He shouted as Hunk watched the video, totally engrossed in what was happening as Vivian knocked Marcia into the perfume rack and broke some rather overly expensive bottles.

"Whoa, h-he's not wearing black!" Hunk exclaimed as he watched Keith's figure rush over to split the two girls apart. 

Keith wanted to die. He wanted cancer to just claim him right there in the middle of the church's lobby with trashy Jesus looking down at him with his misshapen eyes that made him look like an outdated meme. No doubt that everyone he knew, even perky ol Olivia, had to have seen this and busted out laughing at the sight of Keith dressing normally. Why was he doomed to total social suicide?

"Give me that," Lance grunted as he swiped the phone away from his friends and flagged the video on YouTube before he gave the phone back to a not so amused Katie. He looked just as embarrassed as Keith with how red his ears were turning.

"Sorry Keith," Hunk apologized to the skinny Korean guy and fiddled with his bandana. Keith couldn't be mad at someone as innocent as Hunk, that and he didn't want to make the boy's anxiety worse than what it was. He was probably screaming internally right now from just standing next to the three of them.

Katie was on a roll today, she wasn't about to let Lance get away with touching her stuff as she wiped her phone screen clean with her sleeve, "I don't see why you would be so defensive over Keith all the sudden, just three days ago you two were at one another's throats. Is it possible," she wiggled her eyebrows, "You could be falling for future Gerard Way?"

Lance scoffed in disgust at Katie's remark as he went to go cross his arms over his chest before he thought twice and stuffed his hands into the front pockets of his hoodie. "I could care less about helping Keith, his sister is that famous tennis player, right? The more views you give that video the more her reputation is ruined, at least spare her since she was only defending Keith."

"He got punched by a girl," Katie joked, "That's a little funny you've got to admit that!" She chuckled and sent Keith an amused glance.

Keith pouted as he tugged on the strings of his hoodie to hide his embarrassment. Being punched by a girl in public was one thing but seeing the footage online as it raked in thousands of views every day? Well, that really destroyed his soul. "It wasn't funny!" Keith grumbled.

"What wasn't funny?" Shiro's voice sounded as the doors behind them squeaked open making Keith's desire to go die in a hole grow even more.

"Keith got punched in the face by a girl," Katie stated and went to go pull her phone back out but Lance glared at her causing her to roll her eyes in annoyance. 

Allura's blue eyes widened slightly, "Oh yeah the whole thing with Vivian and that one girl? I was actually working that day in the store across from the Victoria's Secret, I saw everything..." Her voice faded slightly as she placed a hand down on Keith's shoulder gently and gave him a sympathetic look. "Keith tried really hard to keep them from fighting, he was really cool aside from the little tidbit of him getting punched."

Keith's hopes had been built up only to go toppling down like a game of Jenga. He thought Allura was going to defend him but nope, she kinda made him feel worse. He slouched over and began to plan his own pity party all the while Lance glared at him jealously. 'Buddy, I'm gay,' Keith thought to himself as he imagined what was running through the Latino's head at that very moment. 

Shiro gave Katie a disapproving glare as he stood on the other side of Keith. "It shouldn't matter that he was punched by a girl, he didn't hurt her but he tried to stop the fight and therefore he did an honorable thing!" He proclaimed with pride. 

Keith looked up at Shiro with watery eyes. He was a blessing to this earth by the gods themselves! Not only was his body perfectly sculpted only by the finest architects (seriously, his arms were beautiful) but even his personality was gorgeous and he had very long and pretty eyelashes that would make any female or male model jealous. Keith was so blessed with the presence of the senior and was very happy he decided to roll his sleeves up that day. 

Allura nodded her head making her ponytail bounce up and down, "I agree fully with that statement, the person you should be mocking is the girl who punched him unprovoked," She added.

Lance's eyes flashed with a hint of guilt as he hung his head down. "Yeah..." He mumbled causing Hunk to look at him weirdly.

Keith hated himself for even stepping up to defend Lance but the boy hadn't told anyone about the whole thing of him getting high and acting like a fool so he owed him this, didn't he? "No one should be blamed, I confused her with someone and she probably felt threatened so she's justified... I guess?" He said even though he most definitely did not believe a single word he said.

"Oh goody, you're all here!" Olivia's dreadfully chipper voice exclaimed as she walked into the church with her hair straightened out. She was wearing a shirt with that god awful sun logo and a pair of blue jean shorts. "I'm sorry I was just a tiny bit late, I was having car troubles!" 

Shiro looked at the tall guidance counselor with concern, "Was it engine troubles? I could look at your car if you need me to after the meeting," he offered.

If there was a cupid after all, then color Keith gay because he just got shot with an arrow right through his heart. Shiro was both amazing and well versed with cars? Oh god, Keith never felt so weak in his knees before now as he looked up at the boy with a scar on his face. Keith had been officially blessed, he was totally going to fall head over heels in love with this senior if he didn't stop being so perfect in front of him, either that or he'd burst into dirty eyeliner tears and look like a girl who just got dumped. 

Olivia looked down at Shiro with surprise before she shook her head, "Oh no sweetie, I'm fine. It was just because I needed to add oil, nothing serious!" She smiled and unlocked the doors to the room where they were forced to sit in a stupid circle.

"Your lack of faith is disturbing," the receptionist stated as his brown eyes lingered on Keith while the group shuffled behind Olivia. The receptionist held a pamphlet for bible camp as he looked down at the junior. "God will show you paradise but only if you change your ways."

Keith narrowed his eyes at the brunette man and scoffed slightly, "I will never ever go to a religious camp, especially not one with a holy book that says women must marry their rapists," He stated dryly.

The man seemed to shut up with that as he slid the pamphlet away from Keith. "That was a different time..." He whispered to himself bitterly.

Keith didn't even bother with the religious man as he took his seat between Lance and Shiro while everyone else settled down slowly. "Are you okay?" Keith asked Lance out of concern as he saw how much pain he was in from just sitting down.

Even if he wasn't Lance's number one fan, it didn't mean that he shouldn't care. Lance looked up at Keith and gave a very weak and pitiful smile, "I'm..." He hesitated for a moment, "Yeah, I'm fine," He finished. 

Keith didn't believe Lance but since they weren't friends, he wasn't going to push his luck. Olivia clapped her hands together signaling the start of the session, "So what did you all discuss in the group chat?"

Katie crossed her arms over her chest, "Memes," She started. "More memes, political stuff thanks to our little princess here and -"

Allura looked greatly offended as she glared down at Katie next to her, "I am not a princess, just because I go to an academy doesn't mean that I'm privileged!" She exclaimed.

Katie smiled to herself as she nodded, "I forgot you can't be privileged because of your skin color, sorry."

Olivia let out a very awkward and strained laugh as she looked at Katie nervously, "Let us not dive into politics Katie, everyone has different views and this just isn't the place to discuss them."

"We learned Keith sucks at chemistry," Lance announced causing Keith's face to burn red hot in embarrassment. How dare he announce that so nonchalantly?

"Oh yeah?" Keith sat up and thought about hitting Lance's chest out of spite, "Well I learned your sister is a bitch since she punched me!" He shot back.

"Whoa that was Marcia?" Hunk exclaimed in pure shock as he looked at Lance with big eyes.

"Keith, language! We're in a church!" Olivia sounded like she wanted to die.

Shiro leaned over and pulled Keith's chair closer to him as Lance reached over to grab the model in anger, "Why the hell would you say that!" The Latino said angrily began to say some other statements in his second language that Keith did not understand (he failed Spanish).

"Well you just told everyone about how I'm failing chemistry, I thought it was only fair I talk about your shitty sister!"

"You know just because I'm a person of color doesn't mean I can't have money too, Katie!"

"Oh so you are privileged?"

"Guys...."

Olivia sat in her chair with a lost look on her face as every teen got caught up in their own conversation while Hunk looked absolutely terrified. Shiro was holding a very rage-filled Keith back from clawing out Lance's eyes as the Latino made rude remarks in Spanish at Keith. Allura and Katie were about ready to pull each other's hair out in clumps as they screamed about politics. Hunk just sat quietly, shaking in his seat with large eyes.

Olivia took a deep breath as she tried to keep herself calm, "Everyone shut up or I'll make us do trust exercises!" She shouted which didn't hold any effect on them. She reached down into her purse and pulled out a whistle and blew into it so hard that it would've even made a deaf person jump in surprise.

Everyone froze in place with large eyes as they stared at the once nice counselor as she smiled at everyone while a red eyebrow twitched on her forehead. "Trust exercises it is then. So, let's go ahead and pair you up with your least compatible pal which is obviously Keith with Lance and Allura with Katie. Shiro, Hunk, you two can sit down and watch them if you want since you two seem to be the most neutral ones of the group."

Keith looked over at Lance with eyes full of horror, he just could not believe he was being paired with such a blundering idiot! Olivia watched as the four reluctantly got up and stood next to their partner with some extra space between one another. "So for this, what you're going to do is tell one another something about yourself since they're your assigned buddy. Then, once you do that you're going to fall into the person behind you and trust they'll catch you. This gives everyone a chance to get to know you since I can tell none of you are quite comfortable enough to really talk about your conditions yet," Olivia told them as Shiro and Hunk sat next to one another.

Allura frowned slightly, "Isn't the whole point of a support group to be uncomfortable? I mean I've done research on this whole thing for a school project a year ago and apparently talking with total strangers actually helps you rather than talking with-"

Olivia held her hand up to silence Allura, "If you guys would prefer to do that instead then feel free. Allura, you're going to have to catch Katie the entire time because of the height difference obviously."

Allura looked troubled by the offer Olivia presented but Keith was totally fine with it. What more could there be to talking about how shitty cancer was? Was he going to break down into tears and talk about how it made his whole life harder? Hell no. The day he cried in front of any of these people would be the day he was on his deathbed.

Lance raised his hand, "I'd rather we say facts about ourselves instead if that's okay, I would rather talk about my condition with people I trust."

Allura nodded in agreement as she glanced at Shiro and lowered her gaze to the floor almost instantly. "Y-yeah," she mumbled.

Olivia nodded understandably, "Then you four go ahead and get started, the three of us will talk over here since they can be civil." Wow, passive aggressive must be Olivia's middle name. 

Keith stepped behind Lance and held out his arms as he mimicked Allura to his left, ready for Lance to fall into his arms. "Start whenever," Keith sighed in agony.

Lance glared over his shoulder, "How do I know you'll catch me? I bet you would jump at the opportunity to let me fall flat onto the floor wouldn't you?" He frowned and placed his hands on the back of his head as he huffed.

Keith glowered at Lance, "Yes, I would so let you fall while their are witnesses all around us. Just say something already and fall dammit!" Keith waved his arms all around as he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Lance hesitated for a long moment as he looked Keith over one last time before he let out a long sigh. "Fine," he mumbled. He faced Hunk and closed his eyes before holding his arms out. "I used to be fat."

Lance started falling backward into Keith's arms and for a moment Keith wondered if he should have let him fall straight down just for the shits and giggles but decided not to when he saw Olivia eyeing him. He stepped forward and caught Lance gently and his purple eyes widened slightly as he realized how light the boy was, he wasn't too light but light enough to be noticeable. 

"Whoa..." Keith breathed out as he looked down at Lance in disbelief.

Lance looked up and found himself a few inches away from Keith's face which made the boy visibly red in his ears. "Do you always have to breathe so loudly when you see my face?" Lance cringed.

Oh right, the facetime. Keith dropped Lance onto the floor without hesitation as he held a neutral expression, like hell he was going to let Lance get away with that remark. "Keith!" Olivia scolded him.

He held up his hand and raised his eyebrows, "What? You told us we only had to catch them not hold them up!" He stated.

The counselor looked like she wanted to scream in frustration but she decided to hold herself back and went back to talking to Hunk and Shiro. "Gee, thanks, buddy," Lance mumbled as he dragged himself back to his feet while wincing in pain. 

"Just hurry up so I can say my fact," Keith grumbled. Lance did as he was told and Keith held his arms out, "I thought you were your sister because you both have girly hips."

Did Lance catch him? No, he instead took a long step back and away from Keith and watched as the Korean boy fell onto his back with a look of bewilderment while Lance stared at him with a choleric look on his face. Maybe Keith threatened to murder Lance in his sleep and maybe he even pinned the jerk down on the floor before he tried to fight him but that was all up for debate since Allura let Katie fall to the floor in order to yank Keith away with amazing strength.

The only thing anyone knew for certain was the fact that Olivia was probably regretting her career choice as she angrily yelled at Keith and Lance told them about how they would be stuck together until next Wednesday unless they could straighten their acts out right away. The meeting ended when Olivia told them the rules of the stupid buddy system of theirs;

1.) You must hang out every day together, even at work as long as the two of you don't have conflicting schedules.

2.) You have to write about everything the two of you did together and write about how a certain moment made you feel and relate it back to your condition.

3.) Show the other person that you care about them and help them whenever they seem upset.

There were more rules but Keith didn't bother listening to them as he pouted next to Lance. Their seats had been pushed together so that they sat shoulder to shoulder with no space between them. It was torture. Keith's phone buzzed in his pocket making him jump slightly and jab Lance in the ribcage with his elbow by mistake. Lance simply grunted and shoved the shorter boy back but Keith didn't care much while he checked his phone as Olivia rambled on and on about how the buddy system would help them. His mother texted him telling him that he had to go to a photoshoot as soon as the meeting ended but Keith dreaded the thought of having to bring Lance to work with him if he didn't go straight home after this and decided to take advantage of the buddy system.

Keith: sorry Sandra, I'm going home with someone from the support group so we can do our assignment and so that he can tutor me in chem. Sucks that you signed me up for this, doesn't it :/

He smiled to himself and put his phone away before he waited a few more minutes for the meeting to end. Right as it did he grabbed onto Lance's arm and kept him sitting until everyone left the room, "What the hell man?" Lance tugged himself free.

Keith clapped his hands together and looked up at Lance as he put on his begging face, "I need to go home with you, I don't want to go and model and I bet you don't want to watch me do that either. So, take me to your place?" He even tossed in a smile.

Lance narrowed his blue eyes onto Keith as he studied the boy, "Fine, but only if you tell me what movie you acted in when you were a kid."

Keith's face burned bright red as he realized Lance must have read his Instagram bio. That was a past he never talked about with people he had to be around and he definitely didn't want to tell Lance about it. You see there was this movie back in 2004 when Keith was just getting into the industry; it was called 'Timmy and the Alien'. It was a comedy about a little boy named Timmy (played by Keith) and his parents Darcey and Frank who move to a new home in the countryside of Texas where nothing but woods surrounded their home. When Timmy finds himself feeling lonely he decides to run away from the house but after nearly collapsing from an asthma attack about two minutes away from his home he finds a small little alien creature struggling for survival. Being the responsible boy he was, Timmy brought the alien home and nursed it back to health. When his mother finds out about this though, she flips out and just screams for that comedic effect while the father comes running in with a Hello Kitty tee ball bat ready to swing. Towards the end of the movie, the alien gets taken back to its home planet and it teaches the family what it means to love one another, it was one of those cheesy low-budget films that any actor would have been ashamed to be part of.

Keith was so ashamed to have ever been a part of that project not only because Rodger the alien looked like something only on a man's body but also because for the longest time in elementary and middle school if people found out about his little acting gig, they would call him Timmy until graduation. It was literally worse than cancer, it was Keith's worst nightmare and why he never changed his bio was a wonder. He'd have to fix that soon.

"I will never say, not even Satan himself could squeeze that information out of me," He visibly cringed in front of Lance as he dropped his begging act.

Lance shrugged and began to turn away, "Fine by me, have fun getting your picture taken Samurai," he sighed and began to walk out the door towards the weird Jesus painting.

Keith rushed over and grabbed the back of Lance's hoodie and wished that if there were a God, that he would strike him with lightning before he could even tell Lance. "Timmy and the Alien," He mumbled, "I was Timmy in that really bad movie about the boy with asthma and that alien that looked like a penis."

Lance looked over his shoulder with astonishment. "Wait, you were that kid? The kid who befriended the dick alien!" When the laughter accompanied Lance's voice Keith felt like his very life was chipping away.

He turned Lance around and stood on his tiptoes to look him in the eye, "Don't you dare tell anyone about Timmy and the Alien. I will murder you if you do, got it?"

"According to all laws of alienation..." Lance recited a line from the movie with a devilish smirk while the color drained from Keith's face.

He felt like crumbling to the ground in shame, what type of movie started with a line like that? A blockbuster failure that's what! "I really hate you," Keith fell back down on his heels and stared at Lance's ragged-looking shoes in disappointment.

"At least you think my smile is cute," Lance mocked as he began to walk away.

Keith looked up with bright red cheeks and chased after Lance, "How dare you!"

"How dare I what?" Lance asked smugly as he placed his hands on the back of his head and started walking towards the doors that led outside.

Keith followed him reluctantly and pouted, "Just shut up."

This was the start of a friendship between two complete opposites; one who desired popularity and unconditional love while the other desired a quiet life and enough love to make them feel real. It was the start of a friendship with so, so many bumps in the road that it'd make the Kardashian family look like a functional family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really enjoy writing this story which is new since most of the things I write I lose interest in really quickly but for this one I'm just really enjoying it. I hope y'all are enjoying this too and also, all those klance moments in season three gave me a new reason to breathe but #notmyspacedad
> 
> Have a great night/day^^


	9. Catfishing With Bros (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance brings Keith home and is in for a surprise when Keith learns about his secret he's been hiding from everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I want to say thank you for all the love you've been giving this story! It's probably one of the only stories I genuinely enjoy writing and I enjoy reading all of your comments (sorry if I don't reply though;;) because they're usually really funny or they give me reviews of the chapter that actually helps me write.
> 
> Again, thank y'all so much and enjoy this chapter.

"So you uh, you like Justin Bieber?" Vincent asked from the front seat as he glanced at his rearview mirror to see Keith playing with Christian, the little boy giggled in excitement.

Keith shook his head and tickled Christian, "No, I think JB is for girls," he stated in one of those stupid voices people used for kids and animals.

Lance already knew that this was a catastrophic failure. As soon as Keith had gotten in the car, Vincent called him the devil's child in Spanish and began arguing with Lance about why Keith was coming home with him in the language Keith didn't understand. They had gone back and forth for about a minute before Keith started playing with Christian, making the little boy laugh gleefully, that alone made Vincent shut up since he didn't want to listen to the Lazy Town soundtrack on the way home just to keep his son happy.

Lance sat in the front seat next to his brother who was trying to find a song to fill the awkward silence whenever Keith and Christian weren't having any fun. "How about Ariana Grande?" Vincent pursed his lips and frowned as he focused on the road.

"Nah, I like stuff more like Fall Out Boy or Chainsmokers," Keith cooed.

Vincent frowned and whispered something about kids not liking the good music like the classics. "How about DragonForce? I mean, they're bloody amazing!" Vincent offered.

Lance prayed to the God looking down on him that Keith would agree to listen to some good classics before Vincent started shouting Spanish hexes on the poor boy. "Yeah, I love DragonForce, Through the Fire and Flames is such an amazing song, Definitely a classic!" Keith nodded eagerly as he smiled at Christian.

"Right," Vincent smiled before he put on a song and relaxed slightly in his seat even though he constantly checked to make sure Keith wasn't trying to do anything bad to his child. 

It was clear that he was a bit wary after the whole jail ordeal when Keith tried to choke Lance out (which he tries a lot) and bringing the little emo into his car definitely didn't help him with trusting the boy. "Does your eye feel okay?" Vincent asked as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

Keith looked up in surprise before he nodded slowly and scooted away from Christian. "It's sore but I'll live. How's," His voice got caught in his throat as he frowned and clenched his jaw. "How's Marcia?"

"Still a bitch," Vincent stated simply which made Lance reach over and punch his thigh, making the poor teacher wince in pain as he tried not to swerve.

"That's our sister Vincent!" Lance exclaimed in anger. 

Vincent shrugged and glanced over at his little brother before smacking the back of his head, "Exactly why I can call her a bitch, now don't hit the driver!" He stuck his tongue out at his little brother.

"Daddy, what's a bitch?" Christian asked making Keith wheeze in the back seat in laughter while Vincent looked absolutely horrified that his son picked up on what he said so quickly.

Lance placed his face in his hands and sighed in disappointment, "It's a bad word that your daddy shouldn't be saying and neither should you, Christian," he stated monotonously.

"Sorry!" The three-year-old squeaked as he grabbed for Keith's hand to hold. 

It was oddly adorable and Lance couldn't help but smile slightly when he saw Keith smile at the little kid as Christian grabbed hold of his pointer finger and laughed happily. "You're fine sweetie," Vincent mumbled as he rubbed the scruff forming on his face from not shaving.

Suddenly Lance's phone chimed prompting him to look at the text expecting it to be his mother but it was something he wished he had never read. Ever.

Samurai: your brother is hot js

Lance's face dropped as he looked over his shoulder with so much disgust on his face that even Gordon Ramsay couldn't compare to Lance when he looked at a frozen lamb chop. Why would Keith say that to Lance? It was absolutely disgusting. Lance rolled his eyes as Keith smirked at him before he leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest before instantly regretting all of his life choices. The bruise on his body ached from when Lotor punched him so hard the day before, sometimes even moving around proved to be such a task for him, but he tried his best to not show any pain to the people around him. He didn't want them to think he was as weak as he looked. No one but Marcia knew about his abuse, but she never did anything for the sake of being in the popular circle.

Who could blame her though? Who would want to stick up for someone like him, a pathetic excuse for a human? He pinched the blue hoodie between his index and thumb fingers as he closed his eyes slightly. He was just a burden on everyone, wasn't he?

"Is that your house?" Keith asked as he popped his head between Vincent and Lance making the poor teen boy jump out of his skin and hit the top of his head on the roof of the car. 

Lance rubbed the top of his head and glared at the very awestruck Keith who stared out the windshield with bright, sparkling eyes full of excitement. Lance looked over at his house as Vincent put the car into park and looked back at Keith, "It's literally like every other house in America? Why are you so amazed?" Lance questioned the stupid guy.

"It's so small!" Keith exclaimed yet again.

Lance and Vincent exchanged looks of 'seriously' as the two of them climbed out of the car and opened the two back doors for Keith to shove Lance out of the way on one side, while Christian crawled into his father's arms on the other side. "Seriously?" Lance growled as Keith shoved past him hitting his bruise by mistake.

"Sorry," Keith apologized as he gawked at the home, "I've just always wanted a small house is all. I've never been in one so I'm just really excited!" He stated and looked at Lance with big eyes. 

Lance closed his door slowly as he looked at Keith. A famous kid who probably grew up with silver spoons, butlers, too much money, and even adoring fans wanted a small house? What kind of logic was that? Lance would kill to have Keith's life where girls swooned over him, where everyone loved him, and he'd be able to get anything he'd want. Why Keith was so excited now was a mystery.

"Wow," Lance raised an eyebrow and began walking towards his front door as Christian ran ahead of him. "You're easily impressed."

Lance was so not eager to go inside of his house, he could only imagine how his mother would act to Lance bringing a friend home for the first time since his second year of middle school. His mother was this innocent little woman who just enjoyed baking to her heart's content and smiling at her children, seeing Pete Wentz 2.0 would probably give her a heart attack since she'd probably mistake him as the devil like Vincent did. 

Lance opened the front door carefully, he still hadn't made a proper excuse for Keith coming over so suddenly, his mother would be so mad at him he could practically sense her passive aggressiveness. Before he could fully swing the door open, his little sister tackled him nearly causing him to cry out in pain as her face slammed into his stomach.

"Lancey! Lancey is home!" Heidi exclaimed in excitement.

Lance grabbed onto the doorframe in order to keep himself standing upright. "Yup, sure am," He said in a strained voice as the pain pulsed through his body.

Keith raised an eyebrow as he peeked around Lance to see the little kid who was just too overjoyed to see her brother home. Christian squeezed past Lance and Heidi and went looking for Patrick hiding somewhere in their home. "Your house is a bit loud..." Keith pointed out as he eagerly stood on his tiptoes to get a closer look inside.

Heidi lifted her head up and looked at Keith as her smile dropped. Then, in one swift movement, she shoved her big brother out of the way and grabbed Keith's hand with excitement, "He's so pretty, will he give me a new niece?" She asked eagerly as she smiled at Keith with glossy blue eyes.

Keith blinked in confusion as he looked at Lance for context, "N-No Heidi, he will not give you that niece!" Lance said in embarrassment as he shooed the two into the house while Vincent whined about how he locked his keys in his car.

"I want a niece!" Heidi whined as she clamped her arms around Keith's waist making him give Lance a very concerned look. "He's so pretty, he'd give me a cute niece if the two of you married!"

"He's a man!" Lance exclaimed as he tried to pull his little sister off of Keith's body but she had a tight hold on the boy's waist. "I c-can't marry him!"

Keith gasped as he looked at Lance, "Are you saying you don't think I'm pretty?" He exclaimed in all seriousness.

"I never said you weren't but we can't have kids together you dimwit!" Lance argued with Keith as Heidi cried about never having a niece to play with.

"What in gods name is going on in here?" Lance's mother came into the front hall with a giant frown on her face carrying a tray full of cookies.

The three froze up; Keith and Heidi had an expression of hunger as they stared at the cookies like a bunch of famished beasts while Lance just stared at his mother with a smile on his face that practically screamed his unspoken apology for bringing Keith to the house. How did Mrs. McClain look? Oh, she was absolutely mortified, to say the least, she dropped the tray of cookies on the floor as she made direct eye contact with the walking Hot Topic store across from Lance that Heidi held onto like her life depended on it.

Her thin brown eyebrow twitched slightly as she looked at Lance, "¿Qué coño ha pasado aquí?" She asked with a very worried look on her face.

Lance felt his smile drop as his mother swore in front of Heidi, "It's my fault ma-" before he could make an excuse Vincent came stumbling into the house on the verge of tears as he wrapped his arms around their mother.

"Mamá, I locked my keys in my car again!" He wept pitifully. This was a weekly occurrence and at most times Vincent would cry to their mother about how much of a failure he was since he can't even keep track of his own keys.

What would usually be a curse Lance would have to deal with as he talked to his brother about how him not locking his keys in the car was the reason his ex left him all the while Vincent held onto a wine bottle and cried about his life issues, was now a godsend. Vincent's little breakdown gave Lance a chance to escape to his room with Keith before his mother could do anything embarrassing in front of the model. 

"Bye Heidi!" Lance exclaimed as he dropped his little sister's legs and pulled her little arms from Keith's waist before grabbing hold of his hand and meeting his purple eyes full of shock. "We're going to my room, now." 

Lance didn't wait for Keith to protest as he shuffled his way around his very confused mother, a screaming Heidi, and a very, very emotional Vincent who blamed the female teacher hitting on him at school for all his problems in life. Keith stumbled behind Lance with red cheeks as he tried not to trip over anything. It didn't really work out as he slipped on a stair and nearly brought Lance down with him if the Cuban hadn't had a firm grip on the rail that, thankfully, kept them standing. Lance looked back at Keith and noticed that the poor boy was wheezing as he managed to pull himself up the stairs to walk behind Lance. 

'I was Timmy in that movie about the boy with asthma...' Lance remembered Keith's words from the church and mentally facepalmed as he realized that the guy might actually have the condition in real life too. He guided a wheezing Keith to his room and closed the door behind them before he let go of the boy's hand so that he could collapse on Lance's bed in a huff.

"You...you m-move fast," Keith laughed as he tried to catch his breath, those beautiful purple eyes of his sparkling brightly as he stared at the roof in curiosity.

Lance ran a hand through his hair and awkwardly swayed on his heels as he did a quick check over his room making sure that nothing embarrassing was left out. "When you live in this house, you've gotta run away before you get pinned down by Heidi or Vincent," He mused before glancing at his mirror, passing by and mentally screamed when he realized how bad he looked. Allura totally noticed, god strike him dead now!

"What's up...what's up with all these clouds on your roof? And I don't mind the noise, to be honest, it's better than my place," Keith sat up on the bed and bounced a little. He was just like a little kid in a candy store with twenty dollars to spend.

Lance let a tiny smile form on his lips as he looked at the very intrigued Keith. "That's a secret," He winked as he walked over to his dresser in order to grab Keith a sweater to replace the wet one he wore due to Heidi's crocodile tears she wept. 

Keith rolled his eyes, "I told you about Timmy and the Alien, I think I'm entitled to a little secret like the one up above us," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Lance rolled his eyes and threw the blue sweater he had thought about wearing on Saturday last week at Keith and began to slide off his own hoodie. "Use my sweater until your sweatshirt is dry, if my mom comes up here and sees you with a wet shirt she'll probably judge you more than she already has."

"She seemed nice, like she actually pays attention to all of you," Keith smiled softly as he took off his sweatshirt and looked at the fluffy sweater in his hands.

"She's an angel, I've written so many essays about her in school it's ridiculous," Lance laughed in amusement as he leaned against his dresser forgetting to take off his hoodie. "I haven't a clue as to how she can handle my little brother and nephew though, they're devils when together."

"Christian and Heidi seem to love me, so your other younger sibling will probably love me as well," Keith boasted as he slid on the sweater and looked at the long sleeves bleakly. 

"Patrick is going through this phase of sticking bugs in Heidi's hair and shooting people with nerf darts currently so no, he would not like you," Lance stated monotonously before he got back to taking off his hoodie. He was way too lazy to unzip it so he pulled it over his head and shivered as his redshirt got pulled up slightly with it.

He tossed his jacket to the floor and fixed his red shirt with a burrito on it before he noticed Keith standing up with wide eyes. "What was that?" Keith asked in a low voice.

Lance kept his hands hovering above his shirt as he raised an eyebrow, "What was what?" He asked in confusion.

"That," Keith pointed to Lance's stomach and approached him with a genuine concern which creeped Lance out. "That thing under your shirt!" Before Lance could even react to what was happening, Keith managed to rush over and pin Lance against the dresser.

Lance looked at Keith in horror as he felt an all too familiar presence of fear creep into his body. He'd only been pinned against things like this by Lotor before, so it just didn't register in Lance's mind that Keith wasn't going to hurt him as he lifted up his shirt carefully to expose the ugly bruise on his torso. 

"K-Keith..." Lance closed his eyes in shame and tried to shrink away from the boy as his purple eyes focused on his body that he hated so much.

Not only his face was unattractive, but also his entire body. I mean who would think that a rib cage being visible was pretty or even eye-catching? It looked disgusting just like the rest of him and now that Keith had seen his body and his punishment from Lotor, he wanted to hide in the bathroom and cry alone like he used to do when he first started losing weight. 

"Who did this to you?" Keith whispered as he looked up at Lance and respectfully pulled his shirt back down. His was actually concerned, rule number three of the buddy system didn't have any sort of effect on him, this was pure worry he expressed for Lance's safety.

Lance opened his eyes hesitantly as Keith backed away from Lance and fiddled with the sleeves of the blue sweater he wore while his purple gaze stayed on Lance. "What?" Lance blinked in astonishment. Was Keith not going to mock or criticise him for having such a revolting body? Why not?

Keith clenched his jaw before he lowered his gaze finally, "Who's hurting you? Is it your family?"

"What? Hell no," Lance snapped out of his fearful state and jumped at the opportunity to defend his family, "No one would ever hurt me in this house. Not even Marcia," he then winced as he remembered her words from the other night, "not physically at least."

Keith stomped his foot on the floor and raised his eyebrows, "Then who?" He persisted.

Lance became embarrassed as he reached up and twirled a piece of his hair with his finger, "N-No one, no one important."

Truth is, he felt like Keith would think of him as a loser if he told him the truth, but something inside of him told him it was okay to trust the boy standing in front of him who looked so perturbed by the problem. He took a deep breath and sighed when Keith didn't say anything but stare at him, "This guy named Lotor Colombo from school did it because he thinks I'm pathetic."

Keith stared at him silently before he stepped forward and pulled Lance into a gentle hug, he even stood on his tiptoes to rest his chin on Lance's shoulder as he held the injured boy. Lance was absolutely shocked, it was as if Jesus had been reborn again or something, but the entire situation was so bizarre! Who could imagine Keith Kogane, a boy possibly worth millions of dollars and also made it a thing to remind Lance how much he wanted to kill him, would comfort him in a time like this. Lance hesitantly placed his hand on Keith's back and relaxed in the boy's arms slowly once he realized he was safe there with Keith. 

"Tell me about this douchebag," Keith demanded as he pulled away from Lance and led him over to the bed where they sat next to each other.

Lance couldn't believe everything that was happening, he was actually opening up to Keith about his problems at school with how much bullying he went through every day whether it be through physical or emotional abuse from his peers. At one point Keith held him in his arms as Lance tried not to cry talking about the most recent issue with Lotor. It was as if the two boys had completely forgotten their rivalry the moment Keith saw Lance's injury. It was a complete turnaround and frankly, Lance loved being able to have a shoulder to cry on without burdening them like he would with his family.

Keith pulled out his phone the moment lance calmed down and regained his posture. He felt so relieved getting everything off his chest, he actually felt happy for the first time in a while. Keith raised his phone up to his face with the picture of Lotor's Instagram on it, "Is this the dick who's been messing with you?" He asked Lance with a serious face.

Lance pulled at his shirt and shrugged slightly, "I guess..." He mumbled in embarrassment. He was supposed to be this cocky and cool guy and yet he was being bullied by a douchebag in a snapback.

Keith turned his phone back to his face and mumbled something under his breath as he switched his profile to this different one that had a random face as the profile picture and a new name. "I'm gonna fucking catfish this fuckboy," He proclaimed and followed the quarterback.

Lance screeched in fright as he tackled Keith for the phone, "Keith don't fucking do it, I'll just get hurt even more at school!" He whined as Keith held it just out of his reach.

"I'm fucking doing it!" Keith shouted as he slid into Lotor's direct message. "No one should be allowed to bully someone and get away with it!"

Lance and Keith wrestled on Lance's bed which made a lot of questionable noises that would concern his siblings and mother if they were even paying attention. "Keith- don't do it!" He begged the boy as he crawled on top of him to grab his phone, ignoring the pain on his body.

Keith rolled right off the bed and hit the send button before Lance managed to snatch it from his hands to nearly screaming in fear. "James Hart is already in those dm's!" Keith sang obnoxiously loud as Lance read the text.

James Hart: hey, I noticed that we had a few things in common like how we both like football and of course, video games. You seem really interesting so let's talk more 'Kay? ;)

Lance covered his face with his hands as he tried not to cry, "Why would you do that?" He whined.

Keith looked at him sympathetically before he locked his phone and dropped it onto the floor to kneel over Lance with a smile on his face. He gently pulled Lance's hands away from his face and wiped away his tears, "I'm catfishing him because he fucked with someone cool. I'm killing two birds with one stone since I'm taking care of a douchebag and helping someone out."

Lance sniffled as he ignored the weird intimacy between them, no one would be this close to a stranger they hadn't known for more than a week. No one. "I don't need your protection, we're not even friends," Lance stated rudely as he glared at Keith.

"Well, we're friends now."

Those words slammed into Lance's head like a piano had just been dropped on him. Friends? Him and Keith? What was this some sort of shitty fan fiction made by someone who had nothing better to do with their life? Lance would have never thought of befriending Keith through a weird situation like this and yet, it happened. It was almost like a lucid dream where everything felt so real, but it was just his imagination.

"Pinch me," Lance whispered as he stared at Keith.

Keith's face became screwed up as he frowned and cocked his head to the side, "Huh?"

"I said pinch me."

"Fine, but don't whine if I hurt you."

"Ouch!" Lance yelped as Keith pinched his arm harshly, probably payback for Lance dropping Keith earlier that day.

"I warned you!" Keith exclaimed as he stood up and held a hand out to Lance. 

Lance rolled his eyes and took Keith's hand after a moment of hesitation. "Whatever," He mumbled before pointing to Keith's phone, "So what do we do now? With Lotor I mean."

Keith shrugged and sat back down on the bed, "Well the way he talks to you makes him sound like he's in the closet, so surely he could never resist a man as handsome as Jamsey boy here," Keith smirked smugly and showed his phone out for Lance to show a fake Instagram with at least a thousand followers and forty pictures. It looked real as hell and no one would ever be able to guess it was used to catfish jerks.

"Whoa, how many guys and girls have you tricked with this?" Lance sat down next to Keith and watched as Keith pulled up his block list and silently scrolled through it to show countless names. "So what do you do if he falls for the bait?"

Keith shrugged, "I butter him up with some sweet talk, I get a little spicy with my texts, then I set up a meeting, but instead of it being my place I'll send him to a Waffle House two hours away."

"Why a Waffle House?" Lance asked a valid question.

Keith shrugged once more, "I don't know, I just thought it'd be funny imagining him going to a Waffle House hoping to get a little something from James."

Lance laughed, "I think I may actually agree with you on this one," He stated before punching Keith's shoulder lightly, "Pal."

"Don't touch me, I will still punch you."

"Right."

\-------------

Journal entry #1 by Lance McClain;

So this is a bit weird. Writing in this stupid journal about my feelings like I'm in elementary school again writing in my diary about my secret crush that I pined over every day. 

You can't hear me right now, but I'm sighing in boredom because I don't know where to begin with all this. Today was one of the best days of my life. I made a friend and I managed to talk to someone about the problems I face at school...I never thought I would be able to.

So I have to relate this back to my condition, right? Well, ever since middle school when I was diagnosed with Bulimia, I started losing friends all because I was different. I mean who would want to be friends with that weird freak who threw up all his food right after lunch? No one. I lost everything I loved at school, even my sister, solely because I was...I was disgusting. Revolting, even.

Why does this matter? Well, I'll tell you what Blue (since my journal is blue I'm naming you Blue. I love you Blue) it matters because today I made a friend. Crazy right? Like, someone actually cares enough about me to call me a friend? That's absurd. Well, Keith initiated it first which seems like some sort of lie, but I swear it wasn't. I never thought anyone would want to be my friend if they learned about me...all of me including my condition and the fact I'm a total outcast at school. Bulimia has filled my head with all these negative things and for the first time I actually felt like it wasn't in control of me.

This support group might not be a bad thing after all. Look out ladies, there's a new Lance McClain in town with more confidence and a little less crippling depression.

-Lancelot The Prince

\----------------------

Journal entry #1 by a Kid Who Thinks This is Really Gay and a Waste of Time;

How do I relate today to cancer??? Um, I guess that Lotor Douche looked pretty cancerous to me. I mean what self-respecting person wears a snapback and has 'dope' in their bio? A closet gay that's who.

I don't really care about what happened today. Well, if I have to read this out loud that's what I would say, but since this will probably be private, I guess it can't hurt but to write in you, Red. Have I ever mentioned my favorite color was red? My journal is red so I decided to refer to it as Red. Original.

In actuality, I related Lance's abuse to my cancer which is probably why I cared so much...god this is so stupid and such a waste of my time. It isn't severe like Lance's abuse, but when I first got cancer all anyone knew me as was that star battling liver cancer whoopty do da. Wow, what a hero!!!!

People didn't care about the real me, but rather what I was and they showed their 'love' by making donations to charities they wouldn't have even looked at twice just to get on my good side, and it made me feel...I felt like I was... *incomprehensible scribbling* using words is so hard when I can't use my hands to express myself what the hell! It made me feel, I don't know, defined by my condition?? What is the stupid word I'm looking for?

I felt *scribbles*

I hate this journal. Screw this.

-I hate this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, how is the relationship between Keith and Lance so far? The next chapter will be very different from these first nine and will be taking the point of view of someone else in the support group. There are three main characters of this story but it will show the point of view of some of the other members in order to show you how their problems change over time and whatnot. This third main character will be the main one of the next chapter so when I post it, I hope you enjoy her point of view.
> 
> Thank you for reading♥


	10. Normalcy (Allura)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura and Katie spend time together until something comes up putting Allura in a stressful position

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry it took a while to post but school is starting soon so I can't post everyday. This part is unedited so there will be mistakes and I apologize for that but even so, please enjoy.

Her fingers brushed against the rough paper of the book as her blue eyes traveled through the seemingly endless streams of words that came one page after another. Her mind painted pictures of the characters as they acted out the scenes, she could almost see the fictional people in her room as they battled against the antagonist of the story who had been causing them trouble for the entire series. She felt a faint smile cross her face as she ran her fingers along the edge of the page in order to flip it and find even more words to greet her with their arms wide open practically begging her to keep reading them and find out if the protagonist would be triumphant in his battle.

In real life, a protagonist such as the one in this story would never have been able to take down a god like he did. He was weak, no, he was underpowered compared to the antagonist who could easily end his life with the snap of a finger, but that was what Allura liked most about books; they weren't real. Anyone, even a pathetic human being who had gone through life being weak compared to others, could find their inner strength to bring down the thing that kept them chained up to the social norms that were being pushed against them.

She would do anything for that life, a life with purpose.

"You know, this isn't actually too bad," Katie said from Allura's desk as she quietly fixed her broken computer with skills that probably shouldn't belong to someone of her age. "I really thought that we would be at each other's throats, but we're just doing our own thing so, not that bad."

Allura looked up from her book and smiled, "I think I may actually agree with you Katie," She stated and turned the page of her book before placing her bookmark in it and closed the cover. "So what exactly are you doing to my computer?" Allura inquired as she got up from her bed and walked across her shaggy white rug in order to stand above the sandy brunette with her brows raised in curiosity.

"Oh," Katie looked up and shrugged, "Since the disk tray was your main issue with how it would get stuck or just wouldn't close, I decided to fix that issue and upgrade your computer as well."

Allura found herself staring at Katie with confusion, "What upgrades?"

"Well to put it simply," Katie adjusted her glasses and smirked, "I'm getting you virus protection because you had quite a few on here, I'm making it so that your computer will never have any more disk troubles, and maybe a couple of illegal things, but I wouldn't worry too much about it."

Allura's blue eyes nearly popped out of her head as she listened to Katie. Everything sounded cool except for the illegal bit, what if they got caught? The political career she always dreamed of would be stripped away from her all because of the midget fiddling with her computer. "You can't get illegal stuff! What if it gets traced back here? If you couldn't tell, my uncle and I aren't rich and I'm on a scholarship, so we can't bribe people!"

What was wrong with the place she lived in? Well, she lived in her uncle's home right above his garage where he fixed cars for reasonable prices for the highest quality service you could ever have. Their home wasn't special, it had one bathroom, two bedrooms, and a kitchen. Literally nothing else. They struggled to keep up with bills every month and it was why Allura worked a job while she tried her hardest to get perfect grades, even at the expense of her social life. She tried so hard every day of her life so that her uncle would be happy and just so that she could get a taste of a normal life. She did a lot of things to feel normal...

"I was joking princess, don't get your panties in a twist!" Katie laughed in amusement as she tinkered with one more thing before she tapped the side of the computer triumphantly. "She's all set and ready to do research papers!" She stated pridefully.

"Thanks, Katie, you're a lifesaver," Allura sighed in relief as she walked back over to her bed in time for her smartphone to go off unexpectedly.

She checked it and felt like dropping the thing into a bottomless pit just so that she didn't have to see it ever again in her life. It was her tutor asking if she wanted to bump their meeting to Friday after school, if it was even up to her, Allura would have said no, but sadly she didn't have a choice. She agreed to it and put her phone away before she played with her tie quietly as she frowned.

"Is this a photo of your parents?" Katie asked quietly as she held a picture of a very young Allura being held up by her parents, while her uncle Coran snapped a photo with part of his face in the corner as he tried to squeeze into the frame.

Allura felt a deep sense of guilt slap her across the face as she stared across the room at that once happy family smiling gleefully. She lowered her head and stared at the hem of her skirt as she nodded, "Yeah, back when they were still around at least..." She felt as if this heavy cloud loomed over her, threatening to drop ridiculous amounts of rain on her. 

Katie picked up on the girl's discontent as she connected the dots. She gave Allura a sympathetic look before she placed the picture frame down next to the computer, "I lost my dad not too long ago, so if you ever need to talk to someone about it then I'm here for you."

Allura glanced over to see Katie staring out the window with a distant looking smile on her face as if she were remembering something from so long ago. Allura gulped as she became uncomfortable with the silence; silence meant that she was alone with her thoughts and that was never a good thing for her. "How does this gender dysphoria thing work?" She asked suddenly.

Katie looked taken back as she looked over at Allura, "Wait you're actually interested in my problems?" She sounded astonished that Allura even had interest in her life.

Allura really didn't care much about Katie's problem, it didn't change the way Allura saw her, but the senior didn't want to talk about how her parents passed away. "Well I mean we should get to know each other right? I don't know what gender dysphoria is exactly, but everyone knows what dysthymia is."

Katie pursed her lips slightly before nodding, "To put it simply; I haven't truly ever felt comfortable in the gender I am. I mean, I rocked dresses, but they never felt right on me, I don't feel comfortable with having feminine body parts... and the whole once a month thing, that makes me extremely uncomfortable to the point I'm anxious if people find out I'm even on it," Katie turned red in her cheeks as she quietly mumbled why she had gender dysphoria. "I got diagnosed with it last year, but I'm not going to do any changes until I'm an adult just so I know that I do really want to make the irreversible changes to my body."

Allura raised her eyebrows, she never really thought there was much to be a transgender person, but Katie made it sound way more complex than Allura had once thought before. She placed her fingertips together and leaned forward slightly, "I always thought being trans meant you didn't like wearing the clothes that matched the gender you were born as, or that you didn't like the gender roles society has set for us. You make it sound like it's more than just that and to be quite honest," Allura softened her gaze a little as she looked at Katie, "I could never imagine you rocking a dress."

"I can totally rock a dress!" Katie said in confidence, "And no, that's gender nonconformity. People seem to be getting gender dysphoria and gender nonconformity mixed up lately due to mainstream media but, I can always teach you the differences if you want to understand me and the other transgender people more."

"I would love that!" Allura announced as she jumped up from her bed in excitement. She loved learning about social issues simply because when she would start her career in politics, she would deal with these issues almost every day in her life. Best to start learning as much as she could at a young age before it was too late. "Oh and," She placed her hands on her hips and yawned loudly, "I'm really hungry, want something to eat?"

"What?" Katie looked totally shocked by Allura's statement. "You already ate an entire pizza just a few minutes ago when Coran brought us some food. How the in the world can you be so hungry again?"

Allura smiled out of embarrassment as her stomach growled loudly. "I'm just a hungry girl," she laughed awkwardly.

Katie smiled at the senior before she got out of her seat and followed Allura into the tiny hallway where the rooms and bathroom were at before they went to the kitchen and warmed up some leftover Chinese takeout. The apartment wasn't anything special, the only decorations inside were the photos lining the walls of the hallway that held a once very happy family in their frame. The further you got in the hallway one could see the transition from a family of four to a family of two where Coran and Allura were the only ones left.

She always had a heavy sense of guilt when she saw photos of her parents, she never stopped believing that the incident that took their lives was her fault, because, to her, it was. No matter what the therapists told her when she was younger, she would never stop believing the thoughts in her head that told her every day that if she had never been born into this world, her parents and uncle would have all been happy still.

"Allura?" Katie raised her eyebrow from where she sat at the round kitchen table, "Your microwave just beeped you know," she looked a little suspicious as she stared at Allura.

Allura straightened her posture and forced a strained laugh, "Right, sorry I wasn't paying attention," No kidding.

She quickly got her leftovers and seated herself across from Katie before she started eating again. The poor freshman looked weirded out as she watched Allura, she was probably still wondering how the senior was able to eat an entire pizza by herself and still have room for leftover Chinese food. Even so, Katie wasn't one to pick on other's for their quirks since she got enough bullying at school for the fact that she was suffering from gender dysphoria. 

"So," Katie smirked and rested her chin on her palm, "What was up with Shiro giving you a ride in his truck?" She asked with a devilish tone.

Allura nearly choked on the piece of chicken she had been devouring seconds before as she remembered what happened in the parking lot earlier. See, she was the student council president at her school and Shiro was one of the members of the baseball team. Normally they would never interact with one another, especially with the rumors about Allura that had been spreading around recently, but while she was hanging up posters for prom, Shiro bumped into her and struck up a conversation and even helped her out. He managed to convince her that she could get a ride from him to the support group meeting since she had been planning on skipping it that day just so she could go home and attempt to study for the English test this Friday.

Allura couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed by the fact that Keith and Katie had seen her get out of Shiro's car, they probably thought the two of them had been up to no good with how they had been looking at her. "W-What about it? He offered to give me a ride and that's all that happened," she stuffed a piece of broccoli in her mouth and tried to ignore the smiling face of Shiro that popped into her head.

"Nothing? Nothing happened, not even a little compliment?" Katie pressed.

Allura swallowed down her food harshly and felt it nearly get stuck in her throat causing her to cough and take a long swig from her water. "Nothing!" She exclaimed and slammed her empty cup down onto the table roughly with large blue eyes taking Katie by surprise.

"Well, since you dressed like a total church girl, it shouldn't surprise me that he didn't even give you a compliment," Katie sighed in disappointment. Did this kid live for gossip? Is that why she was pressing for any information on Shiro and Allura?

Allura thought Shiro was an attractive male of course since he had everything that a woman would look for in the opposite sex; muscular, knowledgeable, sporty, caring, handsome. She felt herself slipping away into her thoughts of Shiro slowly, but surely, so she shook her head violently in order to completely get rid of those thoughts. She wasn't there to be falling for some boy, she went to those meetings in hopes of getting better.

"You good?" Katie asked with a bug-eyed expression on her face.

Allura gave a sour face as she realized how weirded out Katie probably was at this point. "Yeah, sorry. What do you think of those two boys, Keith and Lance?" She asked in hopes of never being forced to talk about Shiro again.

Katie pulled out her phone and frowned as she began to text someone, "Well Keith is definitely gay, I mean he was staring at Shiro for half the meeting today. Lance though," she looked up and gave a very strained and unsure expression to Allura. "I don't know what's up with him, but he's either into you or Keith. I don't know, He's kind of a wildcard."

Allura pressed her fingers to her temple and rolled her eyes, "Oh trust me, I know all about his little crush on me. He stares at me so much," She sounded annoyed as she talked about Lance to Katie, but soon enough they had begun joking about how Keith and Lance would fight over the stupidest things.

Allura was feeling rather content with how she had been spending her time with Katie until the door to the shop downstairs opened and her uncle came into the home with oil-stained clothing on. "Allura, sweetie," Coran smiled and waved at Katie, "your tutor is here, he said that you two were going to go out to get coffee and go over the English test. Hurry along, you shouldn't keep a man waiting!" 

Coran was the only man in Allura's life she truly cared about. When she lost her parents, he was the only one in the entire family that stepped up to raise her. Everyone else was either too busy with their own lives, used the excuse that they didn't have enough room for her in their home, or just simply didn't want a child that should've been the one to die rather than her parents. Coran had been the only one at the funeral to go up to her and talk to her like a normal child who had just witnessed something so horrid, he had made jokes with her, did magic tricks, anything to make her laugh and keep her from crying. He had been an angel sent from heaven.

He took her in and raised her from such a young age into the young woman she was now even if he did struggle to keep up with the bills to pay for his shop, home, and the medications she needed for her condition. She loved him as if he were her real father.

But, right now, she was just confused as she stared at him with a piece of her food hanging halfway out of her mouth and her eyes bulging or of her skull. What did he mean that her tutor was here? She thought they were going to hold the tutoring session to Friday, not now!

"W-What do you mean?" She stood up nearly knocking over her chair in shock.

Coran stroked his little orange mustache and raised his eyebrow, "I mean he's sitting outside right now, I thought I explained that already but perhaps I wasn't clear enough with my explanation..." He suddenly straightened his posture and nodded curtly, "Aha, maybe next time I should say-"

"Oh god," Allura mumbled to herself and rushed over to her room before closing her door, completely forgetting about Katie.

What was Mr. Lindon doing here at her house? Why did he just show up out of the blue like this? Her mind was racing with different ideas as to why her teacher came over out of the blue as she quickly got dressed into a pair of white ripped jeans and a minty flutter sleeve she wore all the time before she quickly let her hair down and grabbed her phone. This was just absolutely ridiculous and unprofessional on Mr. Lindon's part.

She rushed out of her room and ran over to Coran as she slipped on her white tennis shoes before kissing Coran's cheek as a goodbye. "Um, hello?" Katie stood up and waved her hands in the air, "What am I supposed to do until my brother gets me?" She asked.

Allura froze in place and felt like screaming in frustration as she glanced at the staircase that led down into the auto shop below them. She had to go, but she just couldn't leave Katie alone in her house, what if she really did download illegal stuff onto her computer out of spite? 

Coran smiled as he waved his hand for Allura to leave, "I'll let Katie help me fix Christopher's car if she's up for it," He offered kindly.

Katie's entire mood took a one-eighty degree turn as she nearly tripped over herself trying to run over to Coran with this huge brown eyes full of excitement, "Would I? I would love to help you fix cars!" She exclaimed. If she were a dog, Allura was sure the girl's tail would be wagging fast enough to create a tornado, she was so amped up.

"Thank you so much Coran, and Katie," Allura began to rush down the steep stairs not wanting to keep her tutor waiting any longer, "We'll go to your house tomorrow and do whatever you want, I promise. I'm sorry!" 

She didn't bother waiting for the freshman's response as she stepped onto the smooth cement and breathed in the scent of oil and grease. For some reason, she just absolutely loved that smell and it made the stressfulness of this situation seem a little less noticeable as she danced around the two workers who were either pushing a tire towards a car or trying to calm a customer down on the phone. She saw Mr. Lindon outside in his stupid little car she hated being in so much. He was that one teacher all the girls went absolutely crazy for, they would flirt with him shamelessly and purposely drop things in front of him, but Allura? She tried to avoid him on campus at all costs. Why? Because she hated him with every once of her being.

He was in his late thirties with ashy brown hair and jade colored eyes that made girls swoon. He had a wife and two kids, but he never talked much about them unlike how he would stroke his own ego 24/7 and try to get the attention of others. He was like one of those characters from a TV show that would get arrested for dating one of his students because he was such a creep.

What had originally started out as a tutoring session for Allura to help bring up her mysteriously poor grades in English became a task to not anger Mr. Lindon as he constantly made advancements on her trying to get their relationship to go somewhere else. She couldn't tell anyone about this because she just knew that no one at school would ever accept her as one of them if the truth came out. The girls would demonize her and label her as a whore for dating the teacher they fantasized about, but in actuality, it was Allura who was the victim of Mr. Lindon's disgusting desires.

He smiled at her from inside of the BMW as she opened the passenger door and sat down inside obediently, she was too used to having to do this that he didn't even need to tell her anymore. "You look really beautiful today, Allura," he leaned against the black steering wheel and stared at her with a wolfish look on his face.

She hated him, she hated this damn car that smelt like shitty off brand cologne, and most importantly she hated herself for falling into the trap he had set up for her since the first tutoring session. Being near the teacher made her shiver in fear of what he might do to her and she never ever wanted to make him angry in case he did something to her that was irreversible. He already touched her inappropriately and kissed her in his own home where his wife and kids were in the next room over watching a rerun of SpongeBob while the wife taught their youngest kid how to talk. He was a revolting human being that made her stomach churn just at the sight of his wicked grin.

"T-thank you," She mumbled and quickly fastened her seat belt before pressing against the side of the car in order to put distance between them. 

Mr. Lindon sighed as he leaned back in his chair and placed a hand on Allura's thigh, "How does Starbucks sound? I think I'm feeling pretty generous today."

'That better be the only thing you're offering me...' Allura thought to herself bitterly as she forced a smile on her face. "Anything sounds fine to me, Mr. Lindon."

"Richard, please," Mr. Lindon corrected Allura and made her stiffen up suddenly as she realized her mistake.

She looked at the small parking lot outside the window and shivered slightly, "Richard," She said quietly.

She felt the hand on her leg travel to her own hand as he entwined his fingers with hers, "Let's go have some fun then."

If there was a god above her, then why did he make her live through this hellish nightmare?  
\-------------

Journal entry #1 by Katie Holt:

01001001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01111001 01100001 00100000 01000010 01101111 01101001 00101110 00100000 (It's me ya boi.)

So today was actually pretty fun, I got to fix someone's car without being responsible if I did any damage to it, which was pretty rad. I did download some illegal things into Allura's computer, but she'll never know.

How do I relate today to gender dysphoria? Well, I'm not sure how to relate today to this problem in my life, so I suppose that I actually felt pretty normal and not so out of place like I do at home and school. I mean, there's not much to say since I didn't really do much with Allura, though I'm wondering why she looked so frightened when Coran told her her tutor was there.

I have my suspicions that it was actually Shiro and they're actually dating, but just pretending they don't know each other at the group meeting to spice things up. I can totally make this into a conspiracy theory and share it with Hunk and Lance, maybe even Keith since he strikes me as a believer in aliens. Yeah, I'm gonna crack this case as detective Katie Holt.

Look out world and welcome to Chilis.

-cringe lord

\-----------

Journal entry #1 by Allura Romero:

*Half the page is scribbled out as if she had been angry*

I don't know how to relate anything today back to my dysthymia... Maybe I can relate the incident at *scribbled out words* no never mind. That was Mr. Lindon's fault, wasn't it? I don't know anymore. Can't I just be allowed to graduate already? I don't know if I can keep up with this anymore...

-Allura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I don't know when it will start but I'm going to be doing physical therapy for my right arm that's been having chronic pain in it for almost two years now (I cracked the cartilage in my shoulder), so once that starts I obviously won't be writing as much since it'll be very painful for me and whatnot. But if the therapy doesn't help I'd be getting surgery which would cause me to stop writing for probably a month, I don't know exactly when it'll start but I'll keep you updated on it.
> 
> Anyways, did you enjoy the chapter? I haven't really found a good voice for Allura just yet so her POV might seem a little bland but bear with me, I'll get it soon I promise.
> 
> Have an amazing day/night!


	11. Snakes and Angels (Lance & Vivian)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance, Keith, Nyma, and Vivian decide to spend their day together at the mall while Vivian showers Lance with gifts, but it takes a turn for the worst when the Kogane siblings are forced to sniff out a snake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, two characters will be featured in today's chapter so be ready for the switch of POV's. I wasn't sure if I managed to switch the POV smoothly from Lance to Vivian so please point out ways I can fix it in the future!
> 
> Please enjoy.

It started with a deceiving smile and the gentle tapping of a pen on the surface of a desk and took a wild turn for the worst when the beautiful blonde decided to sit next to Lance during chemistry and walk him to all his classes all the while Lotor looked on with jealous rage.

Nyma had been stuck at Lance's side since school even started, she hung around Hunk and him in the morning while they waited for the first bell to ring for classes to begin. Hunk looked shocked at the fact Nyma even acknowledged him with a gentle smile as she flirted so openly with Lance, causing some of her friends to give her looks of utter horror. Though Lance knew that she had to be up to something, he couldn't help but admire how beautiful she was that day. Her blonde hair was straightened out so that she could waterfall braid it, she wore a floral dress with a cardigan, and even these olive colored boots. She was definitely dressed to impress and she was definitely catching all of Lance's attention that day.

Now in chemistry she sat next to Lance where the weird honor role student who smelt like cheese-whiz used to sit reading books about modern-day philosophy. "What color should I do my nails, Lance?" She asked as she held her hand out for Lance to look at as she tapped her heel against the floor nonchalantly.

Lance smiled at her and shrugged, "Blue maybe? I think blue would look really good on you," he offered.

Nyma looked at her bare nails and knitted her eyebrows together for a moment before she came to her own conclusion, "I'll paint them purple so that I can match them with my outfit for the pep rally tomorrow," she sighed before she suddenly perked up and looked at Lance with this excited look in her icy eyes. "You're going to be there tomorrow right? You have to be!" She reached out and grabbed Lance's hand in hers.

Her hands were so soft, kind of like Keith's, but hers wasn't warm like his. Her hands were freezing, which was quite odd speaking that it was almost summer and the room was hotter than a sauna. "I don't really know," Lance answered truthfully as he blushed and looked away from the pretty girl holding his hand. 

Whenever they had pep rally's (this one was for prom coming up in about four weeks), the students were given the option of either attending the rallies that were intended to pump them up, or they could sit in a classroom and do nothing until it was time to go home. Usually, for obvious reasons being that he was the punching bag of the football team, he stayed inside the classrooms and read books or ran errands for the teachers. He never had a reason to go to these cheesy teen spirit things that just made him feel like shit all over again since he had no one to sit with. But that was before he met Hunk and before Nyma started talking to him, now he had a reason to go right? If not with Hunk in case he had a panic attack, then he should be there to support Nyma when she performed with the dance team.

Nyma tightened her grip on Lance's hand and looked at him with big blue watery eyes, "Oh please Lance, you have to, I mean I'll be performing for the last time this year and I really want you to be there!" She begged him causing some people to look at the back of the classroom in curiosity.

Lance gulped down his sudden nervousness and nodded as he gave into Nyma's little act. "Y-Yeah of course!" He said in order to appease the popular girl.

Nyma's face brightened up as she leaned over and threw her arms around Lance to bring him into a hug. "Oh thank you, thank you, Lance! I'm so happy you agreed to this, let's get some coffee after school," she snuggled up with him causing Mr. Sven, the young chemistry teacher with a funny accent to glare at them with that look that screamed 'No PDA!'

Lance laughed nervously as he felt a bead of sweat form at his brow, he could feel Lotor's golden eyes burning into his back menacingly as Nyma continued to hold him in her arms. Lance wasn't going to lie, he was definitely getting a little too excited at the feeling of Nyma's chest against him. Hey, he's a hormonal teen boy, let him have some impure thoughts, will you? He was in heaven; her hair smelt like coconuts and bananas, her cheeks were soft and warm, her embrace was like no other (well, he's never been hugged by another girl aside from his family members), and her perfume reminded him of the beach. She was so perfect, possibly even better than Allura, no scratch that. She was better than Allura, because she actually noticed him, unlike the academy girl who didn't pay attention to anyone but Keith and Shiro unless it was to debate politics.

Was he... was he falling for this girl who clung to him like a fly clings to food left out? He felt his heart flutter slightly as he relaxed in Nyma's arms, who cares what Lotor thought, he didn't want that white-haired jerk to get in the way of his happiness anymore. He wrapped his arms around the beautiful girl and smiled softly, "I'd love to get coffee with you but-"

Nyma pulled away with a concerning frown of her face as she stared at him, "But what? Did I do something wrong?" She began to ask questions quickly as if she were getting angry at Lance's refusal, but it wasn't like that, he was going to hang out with Keith and he couldn't just do that. It was his assignment.

"I'm hanging out with a friend after school, I can't cancel on him," Lance sighed despondently as he looked at the textbook on his desk that had been opened to the same page as it had been ten minutes earlier.

Nyma looked down at her own textbook with a frown and began to fiddle with the corners of the pages. "Oh right, Hunk would mind since he has a crush on me, wouldn't he? He'd get jealous of you so early in your friendship and that would hurt you more than it would hurt him," She glanced over at him from the corners of his eyes and tried to hold back the sinister smirk trying to paint itself across her face. "I would hate to get between the two of you."

Now if this were any other person with common sense, they would have seen straight through her act and know what exactly this little wolf in sheep's clothing was doing. She was manipulating Lance and since she already managed to cloud his judgment, he was absolutely oblivious to her deceiving tricks. 

Lance looked at her in surprise and thought back to how Hunk had been staring at the girl that morning, completely forgetting about the fact that he had anxiety and was probably trying to understand why a girl like her was even talking to him. "You might be right, but I'm not hanging out with Hunk," Lance mumbled and tried to avoid pulling the 'I'm-hanging-out-with-a-Kogane' card.

Nyma sat back in her seat with wide eyes. She was actually genuinely astonished by the fact that the Lance McClain, the boy who got his ass kicked by football players, had more than one friend. Hell, thinking he even had one took an optimistic mindset, a very optimistic one at that. 

"What?" She asked with a tone of complete and undeniable disbelief, "Who the..." Her face became screwed up in confusion as she tried to figure out what the heck Lance was talking about.

Lance realized how ridiculous he must sound talking about having friends, so he rubbed the back of his neck and turned bright red in embarrassment as he began to work on his worksheet again. "It's uh, nobody special. Just my friend Keith from a different school," He mumbled under his laughter. God, he was such an idiot.

Nyma eyed him for a moment before she was finally able to wrap her head around the impossible. "Riiiiight," she frowned and also turned her attention back to her work, leaving the air between the two of them in a very awkward and a very uncomfortable silence that made Lance practically wish for Keith to text him to distract him from this class.

God works magic and that was one thing Lance would believe for the rest of his life since Keith sent a text at the very moment he prayed for one. Lance didn't even check to see if Mr. Sven was looking at him as he quickly opened the private texts between him and Keith. All night they stayed up discussing what to send to Lotor under the catfishing account and Keith would spam lance with screenshots of their conversation. Keith had been correct about Lotor being in the closet about his sexuality when he answered 'James' with a flirty text and so began the torment Lotor rightfully deserved. Lance wasn't going to lie, he really enjoyed screwing with his bully through a fake account with his friend who was just a pro at this type of stuff, which was kind of concerning, but not really at the same time.

Samurai: we can get lunch and hang at your place or we can go to the mall since I have to get some stuff there anyways

Lance felt his stomach growl at the thought of food and he was very tempted to take the offer, but he felt bad about leaving Nyma out to dry like he was going to do if he went with Keith. He sighed deeply and decided to reply;

Lance: listen, is it okay if I bring someone?

The little bubble to indicate Keith was texting popped up before it disappeared before reappearing once again. 

Samurai:....who?

Lance: this girl named Nyma from my class, I like her so I wanted to hang out with her you know...

Samurai: does she actually want to go? Because I'm down for her to come hang out with us, but if she's only interested in seeing me then no. I don't want anyone like that around me.

Lance read the text very carefully and swore that he could hear Keith's voice crack ever so slightly. He never understood that, but he realized really quickly that the boy would wave his hands around and his voice would crack if he were upset about something. He didn't talk about his feelings, but rather expressed them like that. He was weird but a good weird.

"Nyma, want to go with my friend and me? We're just going to hang around, nothing special," He offered a small, unsure smile in Nyma's direction.

Nyma seemed uninterested as she shrugged slightly and sighed, "Why not."

God, she was being way too enthusiastic. Lance felt a stabbing feeling in his heart as he realized how Nyma really didn't want to hang out with him and Keith, but there wasn't really a way that he could make up for it seeing that he was forced to be with the mullet freak. He really wanted to make Nyma happy, but he didn't really know what the beautiful girl liked, maybe he should buy her something? She seemed to absolutely love clothing so it couldn't hurt, right?

Once the bell rang for class to be dismissed, Nyma walked Lance to his history class and even gave him a big hug, making the chubby little history teacher with an unfashionable neck beard glare at the two of them in annoyance. Lotor was keeping his distance away from Lance, but he still kept his judgmental eyes glued to the slightly shorter junior as he plotted the dork's death. Maybe he would just beat the shit out of Lance after school or perhaps he would shove him into the line of traffic, who knows what the crazy kid would do out of jealousy. History was a breeze for Lance though as he happily took notes as he hummed a tune to himself, sweeping the bottom of his shoe across the floor as he wrote each little bullet point from the smart board onto his paper. Today was going well until lunch of course.

He had sat with Nyma today which made Hunk upset, but he would understand, right? Beautiful girls like Nyma wouldn't just talk to Lance and wait around for him, so he had to keep her interested in him, Hunk would surely understand. Even if he did like Nyma too.

"Soooo," Nyma's black-haired friend Amy pointed to the empty spot in front of Lance where his lunch tray should have been. Her green eyes were narrowed slightly in disgust as her overly contoured face wrinkled slightly, "Do you like, never eat?" She was number four on the list.

Lance looked down in shame as he realized how repulsive he must be to the four girls sitting near him. Maybe he was stupid for sitting with Nyma? Before he could get up and leave, Nyma slid her tray over to him and leaned into his shoulder gently before smiling over at him softly, "Of course he eats, Emily. In fact, we're sharing my food today!" She exclaimed with enthusiasm.

No way, no freaking way. Lance was screaming in his mind with how excited he was. Nyma was leaning into him and sharing her food with him? God had blessed Lance's poor soul today, hadn't he? Lance smiled and looked up at the Asian girl, "Sorry if it looked that way Emily, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Like, why don't you put your arm around Nyma?" Asked Louisa, the only cheerleader sitting with them. She was number thirteen.

Lance stiffened up as Bailey, number sixteen, nodded in enthusiasm. Did they really expect some guy like Lance to bravely put his arm around Nyma and eat? The chicken nuggets staring up at him was already causing him to plan his diet for the day since these things probably had a ton of calories in them. "O-Only if she wants me to I suppose..." 

"Why wouldn't I? I'm leaning on you aren't I?" Nyma joked as she placed her head on his shoulder and let out a small little huff that made Lance's heart skip a beat.

He swallowed down hard as he lifted his hand up to snake around her waist, but he just couldn't keep his shaking under control. He was so excited yet so afraid at the same time, it was ridiculous and he just couldn't seem to control his body as his stomach gurgled from the stress. He would be too lame to talk to Nyma if he couldn't put his arm around her like a normal guy. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the fact that he was about to place his hand on Nyma's hip. It was best to not think about this stuff in case he got a little too excited.

"You've got a firm grip there," Nyma winked as she giggled at the feeling of Lance's hand on her body. God, this boy was about to have a nervous breakdown.

Lance pulled his hand off of her and turned cherry red before he waved his hands around, "I'm sorry, I uh didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or-" Nyma silenced him by tossing a chicken nugget into his mouth catching him by surprise.

"Don't worry about it Lancey Lance, we'll work on it!" She winked.

Lancey Lance, that sounded kinda cool didn't it? Maybe he'd stick with that nickname and call himself that. Yeah, he liked the way it rolled off the tongue. Lancey Lance, listen to that role. He was so weird.

The rest of lunch was anticlimactic, the only thing that actually caught Lance's attention was the juicy gossip that the girls shared with another. Monica from the volleyball team got pregnant by Jackson from the basketball team, but she was totally seeing Bennett from the baseball team on the side. High school was lame, but the gossip was definitely worth listening to. When the final bell rang Lance, waited outside of Nyma's classroom and walked her to the front of the school where he saw Keith standing up against Jensen's car with his hands in his pockets while girls swarmed him squealing. He looked absolutely uncomfortable as he kept his purple eyes closed, his shoulders we're squished up as close to his body as possible and he kept his head low but his skin was ghostly pale.

He, surprisingly, wasn't wearing his stupid emo getup, but rather a more modern look. He had a red hat on his head, Lance's blue sweater he took home by mistake, a pair of grey jeans with tears all over the place, and a pair of black Vans high tops. He didn't do a great job with matching colors but somehow, it worked on him, perhaps because he was born to look good?

Nyma grabbed onto Lance's arm in excitement as she pointed over to Keith, "Oh my God Lance, it's Keith Kogane!" She exclaimed in a squeal before her eyes suddenly widened with the mention of his first name. "Wait, did you mean that Keith today? Why didn't you just tell me you were friends with a Kogane?" She began to fire questions at Lance with a very annoyed tone to her voice.

Lance didn't have time to react though since Keith's little sister burst out of the car and ran over to him with sparkling brown eyes full of excitement. "Are you the Lance he's been talking about all day?" She asked.

Vivian was younger than he and Keith, but it didn't seem to bother her much as she basically fangirled over Lance of all people. Like her elder brother, she was dressed casually, but she made cheap clothes look like designer clothes. She wore a pair of black jean shorts, shoes that matched with Keith who was now fighting the crowd of fangirls to get over to Lance, an American flag T-shirt, a white knee brace, and her blonde hair was pulled up into a ponytail. Her face was slightly bruised, but the skin had healed relatively fast except for the cuts from the displays she and Marcia knocked over. 

"Who," Nyma pushed Vivian back slightly as she hardened her gaze on the shorter girl, "are you?" She asked bitterly before grabbing onto Lance possessively making him look at her with wide blue eyes. Why was she being so rude?

Vivian narrowed her mocha colored eyes on the girl and folded her arms over her chest, "It's none of your business, bi-" a hand clamped over her mouth before she could finish her sentence and Keith yanked his little sister into his chest with this shadowed over face from the cap. He looked like he had been to a terrible war and just now came back home with how terrified his eyes were.

"Get in the car before I lose my damn mind from all these hormonal girls trying to hang on me!" Keith whisper shouted at Lance as he reached over and pulled Lance's free hand harshly in order to get him moving.

The fight to the car was rough, Keith lost his hat in the process and there was probably a freshman on the gum-filled sidewalk sniffing it as she had a seizure or something. Fangirls were... psycho. Keith sat as close as he could to the door of Jensen's car as he rubbed his arms and shivered in discomfort. The back seat was full of mixed feelings; anxiety, excitement, and malice. Vivian was holding Lance's hand as she talked about what she was going to buy him at the mall while Nyma clung to his side with the ugliest look of hate on her pretty face as she glared at Vivian. Lance? Oh he sat in the middle praying for death to come to him before Nyma cut off his arm's circulation.

The mall was a short distance from the school so Jensen managed to get the four teens there without anyone being murdered by the manicured hands of Nyma. The group didn't waste time as Vivian dragged them around to different stores as she bought herself new clothing, which she probably had plenty of, but also shoved Lance into a dressing room with an armful of designer clothes for him to try on. Keith would go to strangle Lance every time Lance made a Timmy and the Alien joke under his breath so that only the Korean model could hear it before he shouted vulgar words in anger. He was a serious hothead.

"Oh my gosh Lance, what about this shirt?" Vivian pulled a shirt off the rack and held it out to him with this excited look on her face, while Nyma wandered around the store with Keith as they searched for a new red hat.

Lance looked down at Vivian and gave her a tiny smile as he looked at the Supreme shirt in her hands. He didn't like having so much attention and money spent on him alone, it made him feel guilty, but he could tell that this was probably the most fun Vivian was having in a long time. "S-sure..." Lance managed.

Vivian's face dropped as she looked down at the shirt. Her eyes lingered on it for a moment before she let out a long sigh and placed it back on the rack before hitting the back of her head with her palm. "Sorry, I just get excited when my brother brings someone else out that isn't one of his creepy emo friends. I was just a little excited, can you forgive me?" She asked.

Lance couldn't help but notice how alike she and Marcia was. Back when they were kids Marcia would react the same exact way when he brought home, someone who didn't know how to play dungeons and dragons with him, he couldn't really hold this against Vivian. "Hey, don't worry about it. Marcia, the girl you fought, she's the same way, so I totally get it," Lance winked as he picked the shirt back up. "I'll go try it on for you."

Vivian gasped at Lance in awe as he walked away towards the dressing room. She was surprised he didn't hate her for causing problems with him and Nyma. Speaking of, Vivian couldn't see the tall girl with Keith anywhere. The short boy was too busy looking at two different red hats with this confused look on his face as he tried to figure out which one was better.

'If I were a pompous girl, where would I hide?' Vivian thought to herself as she looked around the store with her hand on her hips and her lips pinched together. It wasn't long until she saw Nyma by the women's section flirting with a taller guy who was clearly flustered as he tried to flirt back with her. Vivian hardened her gaze slightly on the girl as she watched her. She couldn't just assume Nyma was two-timing Lance, that could cause issues with trying to set her brother up with him.

Oh yeah, Vivian totally wanted Lance and Keith to date. She listened to Keith talk all about the boy last night as they had a little sleepover in his room and binged movies together. He had this sparkle in his eyes that she hadn't seen in a while, he was genuinely happy talking about Lance and just seeing the boys together solidified her original thoughts of Keith slowly falling in love with Lance. She didn't want to screw up Keith's chances with Lance even if he wasn't aware of his own emotions at this moment.

She ducked behind a clothing rack and peeked over it in order to watch Nyma while Lance got dressed inside the dressing rooms to her right. She twirled her clearly dyed hair in her index finger, she touched the guy's arm, she laughed and bit her lips, this was classic flirting. What a two-timing wh-

"Viv, I need a smaller size..." Lance sighed from the inside of his room as he twisted the handle causing the small blonde girl to jump. She could not let him see this disgusting sight or he'd be so devastated.

She darted over to the door and clamped her hand onto the handle to prevent Lance from leaving. Thank God for her tennis body, the boy couldn't even jiggle the handle as long as she held it. "I actually have more clothing out here for you to try so let me toss them over the door for you!" She laughed awkwardly and glanced around the store in a panicked state before letting go of the door to grab a pile of shirts, pants, and even a skirt by mistake before she threw them over for Lance to try on and stall.

A freaked out customer looked at her with wide eyes, but she didn't care as she pointed to them with seriousness, "I'm trying to save a boy from heartbreak sweetie, move along!" She stated before she reached into her pockets and dug out her phone in order to call Keith.

Keith was still across the store trying to figure out what hat he wanted until his phone started ringing with the sound of Taylor Swift's Trouble. He dropped the hats as he jumped up in fright before he struggled to pull his phone out of his pockets, but he accidentally fumbled it in the process before turning red and answering the call. "What the actual fuck Vivian, I told you not to tamper with my ringtones!" He whispered angrily into the phone.

Vivian rolled her eyes as she stared at her big brother from across the store, "Oh please, your original ring tone was Beyoncé's Lemonade, I think this was an improvement, okay."

Keith pulled his phone away from his face and glared at her contact photo as he pointed at the phone. "Beyoncé is queen, you take that back right now!"

"Never mind that," Vivian growled as she looked behind her to see Nyma getting closer to the guy, "Remember what we talked about at home, the whole thing with you not trusting that bimbo? Yeah, we got a code red and you're needed to intervene right away Keith."

Keith instantly looked at Vivian and stood on his tiptoes as he tried to get a look at Nyma from across the store. He glared at the girl before he hung up the phone and rushed over to Vivian in anger. "That little jerk, I knew she was up to no good," He growled as the two of them watched the pair from behind a rack of shorts.

Vivian snapped fee photos as she looked over at her older brother, "What tactic will we go with? Do we use Fluke or Trip?" She asked him.

Keith shook his head and placed his fingers to his lips as he fell into deep thought. His bushy brows were dipped into a frown as he began to speak, "I'll use the move I haven't attempted since my freshman year on Jensen's younger brother."

Vivian gasped, "You're going to go right in and use the forbidden tactic?" She whispered and tugged on his shoulder.

Keith nodded slowly and closed his eyes, "This is my fault, I should have known this girl wasn't really falling for Lance. It's our job to protect him when he's with us," He mumbled.

Vivian nodded in agreement and grabbed a handful of shorts, "Go get 'em, tiger, I got Lance over here. Godspeed," She turned around and rushed back over to Lance's dressing room as she threw shorts over the door. "I found more!"

"You gave me a skirt last time, is everything okay out there?" Lance asked through the door in a groan of annoyance.

Vivian looked over to see Keith walking over to the boy with Nyma next to him with confidence. "Yeah..." She said slowly as her brother ran a hand through his hair and shoved Nyma out of his way before he began to flirt with the very confused tall boy. "Everything... it's swell."

"Swell?" Lance repeated Vivian's words out loud in confusion as he tried even more clothes on.

Vivian nodded and mentally facepalmed, "Yes, swell. Everything is perfectly swell."

It was long before Nyma pulled Keith away from the very confused boy and began to furiously talk to him with this look that could only belong to a snake like her. Keith crossed his arms and rolled his eyes at Nyma as she continued to speak to him and probably with a bitchy tone too, which definitely wouldn't go over well with Keith. Vivian braced herself to run over to her brother's aid in order to drop kick the girl if she laid a hand on Keith, but she didn't need to worry about it as Nyma walked away and out towards the food court in anger. Keith walked back to the boy and handed him his phone and waited while the boy gave him his number, then Keith winked at him and walked back to Vivian with a look of triumph on his face.

"She's waiting in the food court for us now, she knows she's been caught, but she also knows I won't tell Lance," Keith whispered to Vivian as he leaned his back against the door and crossed his arms. "She's smarter than she looks, I'll give her that."

Vivian looked out at the food court and sighed when she saw Nyma at the Starbucks buying coffee, "I shouldn't have doubted you when you told me about her... you were right that she wasn't interested in Lance. She's using him for something and we're gonna find out what that something is."

"Right," Keith nodded in agreement before he knocked on the door and stood up to place his hand on the handle. "I'm coming in for a moment so get dressed."

"Wait, Keith!" Lance shouted from the inside as Keith stepped into the dressing room nonchalantly. "Why didn't you give me more time?" He whined from the inside.

"Oh no, I see your nipples!" Keith said sarcastically as a loud smacking noise sounded, "Shut up."

When the two finally finished up inside the dressing room they returned all the clothes except for the Supreme shirt and went out to the food court in order to get their food and sit with a very displeased Nyma. Everyone but that stupid bimbo got something greasy to eat and they equally enjoyed the lunch, even Lance who normally didn't eat in front of people. He was famished. It wasn't long until he had to excuse himself though, Nyma and Vivian looked at him with confusion, but Keith simply pointed to the nearest bathroom as he understood what it was about.

Today had been so good for Lance, but he just never seemed to be able to run away from his problem, could he? He pushed open the men's bathroom door and quickly rushed over to the first stall forgetting to lock it and then proceeded to collapse to the floor. He consumed so many calories that day it was going to throw off his entire system. He leaned over the toilet and stared down into the water as he began to feel his stomach rumbling as it got ready to do the one thing he did religiously, but today was different. He didn't want to be different, he wanted to be normal and even if he was feeling dizzy and hot he wasn't going to let his lunch spill out so easily.

He sucked in a little breath as he punched his stomach, ignoring the pain from his bruise. "Stay down," he told himself before punching his stomach again, "Come on dammit, stay the hell down!" 

He willed himself to be normal. He had to be. Tears began to well up in his eyes as his throat tightened in order to prepare itself for his purging. Why couldn't he just do this one thing? He wanted to be normal dammit, why couldn't he be given that privilege? "Please..." His voice cracked before he felt the bile rise into his throat.

The stall opened before locking behind him. He didn't even notice until Keith knelt down next to him and placed his hand on his back and quietly whispered to him, "Shhh, everything will be okay, Lance. Don't worry," He stroked the top of Lance's ruffled brown hair and hummed quietly while the boy lost his lunch he had been trying to keep down so desperately.

Keith's purple eyes focused on the graffiti on the walls as Lance did his own thing and cried. "You'll be okay Lance, I promise," He closed his eyes and rubbed the boy's back while he played with his hair. 

"I'm here now."

*********  
Journal entry #2 by Lance McClain

Today was one of the worst days for me...

It hurts to even talk about it. I wanted to be normal, I wanted to be someone Nyma wants to be by, but I just couldn't manage to even hold down my food. And the worst part of all this? Keith was the one to comfort me. Why? I don't need his protection. It should have been Nyma to help me, but Keith came instead and sat with me the entire time and hummed to cover the noises of me puking like a fucking freak. I don't ever want to see his face again, seeing him will make me cry in shame. I relate today to my bulimia because it screwed up my perfectly AMAZING day.

I want to just disappear, no one would even care anyways.

-Lance.

*************  
Journal entry #2 by Keith Kogane

I relate today to my cancer because when I held Lance after he finished up throwing up, he reminded me when I was diagnosed with cancer. He was at his weakest as he cried into my chest and shook uncontrollably. I did the same but... I was alone. I didn't have friends to hold me closely and whisper to me for comfort, I only had my tears and pathetic cries to keep me company. I don't want Lance to feel alone anymore but... I just don't know how to show that to him without lashing out like an idiot.

I'm sorry, Lance.

-Hotheaded gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I really love writing this (yikes I'm saying it again) and I really enjoy knowing that y'all are connecting with the characters^^
> 
> This story has been growing in hits very quickly recently which surprised me because I've never had over a thousand hits on AO3 before so I'm just ???? I must be doing something right I suppose. If you have any criticism please leave it in the comments and I'll be sure to read it, thank you ♥


	12. Our Little Devil (Allura & Shiro)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura and Shiro see each other at school but their little conversation is interrupted by someone who wants to make both of their lives a living hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thanks again for reading and leaving amazing comments on this story ♥ 
> 
> Please, enjoy.

Allura was seen inside the library with a scowl on her face as she stared down at a packet of paper with the summary of the recent student council meeting. The amount of demands were too many for just one person to deal with, and it was clear from the look on her face that she definitely hated the job she signed up for. Why the hell did the green club of all clubs need extra money, all they did was recycle! The baseball team and the science club were at war about who would be getting the extra bus for their competition, and the invisible children club didn't have enough funds to send food to Africa. Who's problem was this? Allura's.

She had been sitting in the library the entire lunch period and half of her free period using Excel to put in the budgets each club would need for what they wanted, but she just didn't have enough money for any of it! She was dreading the thought of going to Friday mornings meeting with these money hungry savages. She needed Katie here to help her out, but too bad the little freshman went to a private school in the countryside way too far for her to visit the academy during her lunch period to help Allura. She was stuck trying to create an equal budget for everyone, but it just wasn't working out.

She was going to be the worst president ever when she grew older if she couldn't figure this stupid conundrum out. A hand landed on her shoulder nearly scaring the life out of her until she realized it was Shiro leaning over her shoulder in order to look at her computer and scope out what her problem was.

"Oh, it's just you Shiro," She sighed in relief as the boy pulled a seat up next to her and took the packet from her hands. "I thought you were someone else," She thought he was the devil's incarnation himself, Mr. Lindon.

Shiro smiled slightly which made his scar wrinkle up at the ends. Allura was so curious of the thing that she had to hold herself back from asking Shiro about it, she knew that it was related to his PTSD so she didn't want to bring up any memories he wanted to forget about. "Sorry," He apologized kindly before his grey eyes focused on the computer screen, "Here's your problem, by the way, you forgot an extra zero. The algorithm for excel won't work properly unless you code it perfectly, here." 

He reached around Allura and quickly began to fix her spreadsheet as she tried to keep herself from hyperventilating as Shiro's left arm reached around her. "R-Right!" She swallowed down hard and stiffened up.

Once Shiro pressed enter, it was as if Allura's problems disappeared instantly as she found that she could get each club what they wanted and still have some money left over for the prom in a few weeks. Shiro had just saved her from being murdered tomorrow morning. She turned to look at him with her blue eyes full of complete awe and respect, "You're a life saver, Takashi!"

Shiro blinked in bewilderment as Allura used his first name so suddenly. Normally everyone called him Shiro since most would have problems pronouncing his name correctly, so everyone settled for the name 'Shiro' instead. "You're welcome," he laughed awkwardly as he pulled away from Allura quickly with this uneasy look on his face.

Allura felt a heavy sense of guilt wash over her as she realized her mistake. She didn't know why she said his first name out loud like that, but it was embarrassing and she felt ashamed over her slip up. She lowered her head and fiddled with her fingers quietly, "Sorry, I meant Shiro."

"You're fine," Shiro nervously wiped his hands on his black pants and looked anywhere but at Allura, "Say, would you want to get coffee with me tomorrow morning? It'd be my treat," he asked with a small voice.

Allura was taken back, why would anyone ask her to get coffee? Shiro was sure to have heard the rumors about her and Mr. Lindon that were sadly true, so why was he even bothering with her? He was obviously running into her on purpose with how he bumped into her in the hallway and helped her, gave her a ride to the support group, and now he was helping fix her budget problems, but what for? There wasn't anything she could give him in return. She had no money, she had no time, and she didn't even have a good personality so why her?

She bit her bottom lip and rubbed her bare arm slightly, "I um... I sup-" her voice got caught in her throat as she looked up to see Mr. Lindon standing in the doorway of the library as he gave Shiro the dirtiest look he had ever given to anyone before. Allura realized that she was acting out of line and she quickly closed her laptop and began to gather her stuff in a hurry. "S-Sorry I can't," She mumbled as she glanced up at the teacher who stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

Shiro stood up and tried to help Allura pack her stuff up, "Are you okay? I mean you seem really distressed and-"

"I'm fine." She snapped at Shiro unintentionally as she shoved her sweater into her bag and began to walk away. She felt terrible for talking to Shiro like that, but she just had to get away from him or Mr. Lindon would make his life a living nightmare; Shiro didn't need to suffer anymore.

Shiro placed his hands on her shoulders as she pulled her bag into her chest, his grey eyes searched her own for answers. "You're clearly not okay Allura, what's wrong? I can help if you-"

Allura squeezed her eyes shut and swatted away Shiro's hands from her body before instantly regretting it. "I don't need the help of anyone, especially not you, Shiro!" She exclaimed before pushing past him in order to run past Mr. Lindon and even out the doors of the library.

She didn't turn back, not even when Shiro called it to her and got silenced by the librarian. He turned and watched her leave with his hand outstretched as if he wanted to reach out and stop her, but he didn't make any more attempts when he saw his English teacher staring at him with a choleric look on his face. Allura rushed past people as she tried to get to the nearest restroom in order to shut herself inside until it was time to go to physics, but she didn't make it very far when she bumped into someone causing her to fall over and dump her stuff all over the floor.

"Watch it idiot!" The girl hissed as she kicked Allura's book across the lunchroom in aggravation from being bumped into. 

Allura kept her head low as people began to look over at her while she pitifully began picking up her school stuff she dropped. Today was just not her day, kind of like every other day of her life to be perfectly honest. "Allow me," Mr. Lindon said gently as he gathered Allura's belongings quickly and stuffed them into her bag.

"Hey, it's Mr. Lindon, are the rumors about him and the student council pres true?" A voice from a nearby table whispered making Allura freeze up where she knelt down with her face darker than the skirt she wore.

Why was Mr. Lindon helping her so openly, all he was doing was making the rumors about them seem true to her pupils, none of this was right. Even though some of the rumors such as Allura dating Mr. Lindon, the two of them being seen at fancy restaurants, and countless others were true, there were some rumors that were so farfetched that she wanted to throw up at the thought of them, like the one where people claimed she sleeps with him for good grades. She would never ever let that pedophile so close to her body, she wanted to keep herself for the person she loved when the right time came, and hearing those rumors made her want to punch the person who started them. He made countless moves like that before, ones where he made it clear he wanted to take the next step in their relationship, but he didn't seem like he wanted to force Allura into anything she couldn't undo just yet. She was thankful for the fact that her teacher may actually have human emotions, like sympathy, that allowed Allura to remain safe from him.

Mr. Lindon gently touched Allura's fingers with his own as he grabbed her bag and stood up with it dangling from his left hand while his right was stuffed deep into his pockets. "Here you go Allura, please be more careful as to not make the same mistake again. Who knows who could get hurt from your carelessness," He smiled down at her as his eyes glowed in evil intent.

He couldn't have been more clear with his message; don't be around Shiro anymore or may god have mercy on the baseball player's soul. Allura stood up and took the bag as she considered whacking the teacher over the head with it. "I'm sorry, Mr. Lindon," she whispered as she bowed her head in apology and began walking away with her eyes glued to the ground. Maybe she would skip school tomorrow and call in sick.

"Go straight to my classroom please, I need to discuss the extra credit assignment with you," Mr. Lindon called out as he watched Allura hurry away with her figure slumped over in fright.

He was a sadistic man, he got pleasure out of making her suffer from a guilty conscience and regret. He would make her sit there at his desk obediently as he gave her a speech about how she shouldn't interact with other men outside of him without permission or without him around. Sometimes when he would get really mad, she'd leave with a red cheek or bruises on her body from his punishments he enjoyed placing on her when she broke the rules of their relationship. She didn't want to be with him, but if she didn't, then he would make her grades hit rock bottom and she would lose her chances of going to an Ivory League college where she could help Coran. 

That and he would also go as far as to make a lie to the school board claiming that Allura forced herself onto him, just so he would get her expelled from the academy and ruin any chance of a future in politics. She was screwed no matter what she did so she chose to be a dog at Mr. Lindon's beckoning call. She was pathetic.

She made her way down towards the English hall before ducking into his classroom and shut the door behind herself as she placed her bag onto his desk and took a seat in his swivel chair. This was normal, she would wait here until her little demon got there in order to talk to her about whatever she did wrong. In this case, she talked to Shiro.

While she had a moment alone though, she pulled out her phone and checked the group chat to find herself smiling slightly at Lance and Pidge making Korean jokes about Keith, while the boy spammed the chat with 'stfu' and 'gtfo', Hunk and Shiro didn't seem to be making an appearance though which made her feel saddened. She enjoyed seeing the group act like total morons together.

She wondered if she could ever fit in with the group of teens who seemed to be oh so normal even though they were far from it.

With the deafening groan from the old door opening up a few feet away from her, Allura instantly slid her phone under her thigh and lowered her gaze down at the school shoes she wore. Mr. Lindon locked the door before he let out an overdramatic sigh that echoed through the silent room around them.

"That boy, he can't take a hint can he?" He mused as he sat on top of his desk to look down at Allura with an amused look in his eyes. "I mean, you were clearly trying to run away from him but he tried to stop you, what, two...three times? I lost count after his first pitiful attempt, oh well."

Allura sucked in a shaky breath and swallowed down her nervousness as she awaited the punishment he was sure to bestow upon her at any second. A long time ago, her uncle once told her something she thought would never come into play in her life, but she was wrong; 'The point of an abusive relationship is to hold absolute power over someone else.' She understood it now, of course, since she was in such a (forced) relationship. Mr. Lindon wanted full control over Allura so that he could feel as if he were in power. She neither knew the motives of his actions nor did she care to learn about his past, she just wanted to be able to graduate high school with a full ride to Harvard.

Mr. Lindon crossed his legs and reached over to hold a piece of Allura's hair in his fingers gently, "If I see him talking to you again, I'll have no other choice than to chase that animal away from what's rightfully mine," He stated bluntly.

Allura felt something inside of her body scream in defiance as her wide, fearful eyes snapped upwards to meet his cold green ones, "No, don't harm Takashi!" She exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her seat to kneel at his feet and begin begging. She was the scummiest of the scum, the weakest thing to live, why should she care about her worthless pride?

Mr. Lindon raised his eyebrows in a way that made Allura's spine tingle, almost as if cold water had been dumped down her back. "Do you care about him?" Mr. Lindon asked as he placed his hand on the side of Allura's head and grabbed hold of her hair in a clump before he suddenly became aggressive. He had a trigger you see, if she showed affection or even concern for the opposite sex, he would become an entirely different person. A force to be reckoned with. "Are you thinking about another man when you should be devoted solely to me? What kind of selfish bitch are you!" 

Allura gasped as he yanked her to the tiled floor nearly ripping her scalp off in the process. Her phone clattered under the desk, but neither of them noticed it as Allura propped her weak body up on her elbows as she looked up at her teacher from the dirty floor in fear and horror. "N-No, I would never care for another person Richard, I only love you!" She exclaimed in a panicked craze. She wanted to run away from here as fast as she could, but she wouldn't be able to get anywhere while school was still in session.

Mr. Lindon slowly grabbed hold of Allura's tie as he knelt down over her and tugged on the cheap fabric roughly, causing the darker colored girl below him to cough as her necktie became tighter. "You better be telling the truth, or I will make Takashi pay for corrupting your mind," He stated dryly. He then placed his free hand behind Allura's head and pulled her up close to him, "I don't want my little lamb to fall for a wolf now, would I?" He then placed a forceful kiss onto her lips making her squirm in his grip.

She hated this, the part where he would force himself onto her and take advantage of her weakness as the inferior gender. She struggled in his arms, trying to push him away from her as she turned her face away so that he couldn't kiss her lips. She was so tired of this, she was tired of being his plaything and she wanted it to end now.

"S-Stop it..." She whimpered and squeezed her blurry blue eyes closed before she began to cry.

The only thing that stopped the teacher from doing anything else was the gentle knock at the windowless door. How convenient for Mr. Lindon. He let go of Allura and stood up to fix his stupid grey suit that had gotten wrinkles in it from kneeling down. He ran a hand through his greying brown hair and cleared his throat while glaring down at Allura, "Just a second!" He called out in a giddy voice that made the poor girl choke slightly on the sob she was trying to contain.

Allura shot up and grabbed her stuff, forgetting about her phone that had fallen under Mr. Lindon's desk as she rushed over to the door and unlocked it, in order to whip it open to see Shiro standing outside with his fist hovering in the air getting ready to knock again. She froze in place as she stared at the boy with wide eyes, why was he here? Her blood ran cold in her veins and the color drained from her face as she realized what was going to happen. She didn't know exactly what 'it' was seeing, how it could be that Mr. Lindon could do anything to ruin Shiro's future like getting the boy kicked off the sports team, suspending or even expelling him under false accusations, anything.

"Allura?" He frowned as he looked at the girl who dropped her gaze to the floor instinctively as she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt beginning to form within the pits of her stomach. "Are you okay?"

She felt the jade green gaze of Mr. Lindon's eyes burn into her back as she stood there, clutching her bag to her chest as she tried to control her shaking. "I-I'm fine, Shiro," She mumbled before she reached up and loosened her tie slightly and stepped out of the classroom with her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. "S-see you t-tomorrow."

She shoved past the boy without waiting to hear him or Mr. Lindon say anything in response. She just wanted to get out of there, now. Shiro turned around and watched as Allura rushed down the hallway wiping at her eyes as she began to break down into tears. He didn't have to be a rocket scientist to piece two and two together; the rumors surrounding her and the fact that she acted so jumpy around Mr. Lindon were enough proof to him that she was purposely avoiding him because of the greying man smiling from where he stood. Shiro clenched his jaw as he found himself getting angry at Mr. Lindon, there was more to him than what met the eye and Shiro wanted to solve the mystery between him and Allura. 

He remembered how she was always so polite with everyone at the beginning of the year, smiling and lending a helping hand when she could, but even so anyone could tell that she was on cruise control; going with the flow of life and wherever it took her for the ride. Since February, however, she seemed to be stuck on high alert. She was jumpy and would purposely go out of her way to avoid the opposite gender, whether it be skipping them during student council meetings or even in the hallway when they tried to talk to her and ask her out; it was like she was being forced against her will to avoid boys. This suspicion of Shiro's was only confirmed today in the library when he had asked her out (he really meant it though) to get coffee with him in the morning. She was about to agree and he knew it deep down in his heart, but when she noticed Mr. Lindon she was put on edge and began to reject Shiro.

He wasn't going to lie to himself, he knew this behavior all too well. How? Well, he lived through this type of nightmare when he was younger; Allura was somehow tied into an abusive relationship. It may not be something like what Shiro had experienced, but he knew the signs of abuse. She had lost a significant amount of self-esteem from February till now and Katie's statement about Allura's uniform only confirmed this tidbit of Shiro's suspicions. Before, she would wear her uniform like every other girl, her skirt would be slightly hiked up so that it didn't touch her knees, her hair was always placed in a ponytail, her tie hung loosely around her neck and she never buttoned up her shirt to her throat, but now she did the complete opposite.

She purposely took herself out of social situations with the opposite sex, almost like if she were to talk to them, then she would be committing an act against god that could end with her being burned at the stake. She had dysthymia already, so the quietness she displayed often wouldn't be much different than it had been before, but she seemed to have been gaining weight recently (not that Shiro thought that was bad or anything) but when she was at school she never touched food and spent her lunch in the library alone in the backroom where she quietly read books. Finally, though, she tried to avoid going to the group meeting and hasn't actually shown up to the last two student council meetings, which was odd for someone like her who had a perfect attendance record and a rule follower. When Shiro offered her a ride, she was very aggressive when saying no, like she definitely didn't want to go but the look on her face said otherwise.

These were classic signs of abuse.

"Shirogane," Mr. Lindon said Shiro's last name slowly as if he were testing the name out for the very first time. "Please, come in."

Shiro tore his gaze off of Allura as she disappeared down another hallway before he stepped into the classroom reluctantly and closed the door behind him. "Hello, Mr. Lindon," he smiled as he tried to hide the anger boiling inside of him. He was here for a single reason and he couldn't let his suspicions get the best of him just yet, he couldn't act on evidence he had put together over a series of months.

The green-eyed teacher seated himself in the cushioned swivel chair and crossed his legs as he continued to smile at Shiro. "So, what is it that you want to talk to me about? I mean, I'm assuming you're in my classroom for reasons that you're here to discuss?" 

God, what a condescending jerk. "You're right, sir," Shiro dipped his head respectfully to his teacher before he began to talk about what brought him to this stupid classroom. "I noticed that my B in your class dropped down to a D, I'm not sure why... It was perfectly fine last week you see and-" Shiro began to explain his problems to his teacher with a look of confusion on his face, but Mr. Lindon raised his hand to silence him.

"Oh that," he sighed before he reached into a drawer he pulled out from his desk and dropped Shiro's recent test on his desk and pointed to it with an unfazed look on his face. On it was a giant, red 'F' that caused Shiro's worry from before to turn into absolute astonishment. "This test was worth a lot of points, but somehow you managed to get a whopping zero on it all because you forgot to add your name."

Shiro stood there for a long moment, blinking as he tried to let that sink in. Then, he grabbed the paper and looked at where his name should have been, "I could've sworn I put it on there!" He stated as he flipped through the packet in anxiety, he couldn't get kicked off the baseball team because of a stupid mistake like this! Baseball was his only ticket for a full ride to college! "I mean, I know for a fact it was on there, I've never made a silly mistake like this!"

Shiro stared at the spot where his name should have been and allowed a tiny smile to form on his face in relief when he noticed that there were indents on the paper from where he signed his name. "There," he placed the packet on the desk and slid it over to his teacher, "See, I did write my name!" 

Mr. Lindon squinted at the paper as he leaned forward to investigate it before he shrugged. "It may have been there at one point, but when I was grading it it was gone like Houdini. So, according to the class contract, you signed at the start of the year, you automatically receive an F on any and all graded papers without a name on it."

Shiro looked at Mr. Lindon with bewilderment as he tapped the spot where his name had been, "But it was right there! Someone must have erased it, Mr. Lindon!" He exclaimed out of worry.

Mr. Lindon leaned back in his chair and raised his eyebrows as he stared at the boy with the ugly scar. "So you're now accusing a classmate of tampering with your test with no evidence? This is a mighty fine accusation that could get your classmate suspended, are you sure you didn't do this subconsciously? I mean," his gaze suddenly hardened as the corner of his mouth tugged upwards in a sinister grin. It was as if that nice teacher everyone enjoyed having and the girls swooned over had been replaced with a villain with some sort of sadistic plan brewing in front of his face. "You have been stressed with your current home situation, correct?"

Shiro's eyes winded as he took a small step back into a desk nearly tipping it over. How the hell did the English teacher know about his living situation at home? The only people who knew about this bit of his life was his coach and Hunk since the boy went there last night. Then Shiro realized how the teacher must have learned about it, it was because of his coach. Teachers loved gossip as much as the students did, but they acted like they didn't care about personal stuff their students told them or they promised to keep it a secret; how could Shiro have been stupid enough to think his coach actually cared enough about him to not gossip about his problems. Shiro wanted to shove Mr. Lindon's computer off of his desk and destroy the room he stood in out of the rage boiling within his veins, but he managed to keep himself calm as he wrinkled his nose up in anger and balled his hands into fists.

He cleared his throat and glared at his teacher, "You know, I was seventeen when I signed your contract and contracts with minors are not legally binding," he made a final remark before leaving the classroom in anger.

The rest of the day was a blur to him. He could barely even hold a conversation with Hunk as they hung out at Shiro's favorite café while Hunk pined over this pretty waitress there, but the poor guy was way too anxious to even speak to her. He was lucky nothing ever happened to him while he was driving home that night, all he could think of was that prick, Mr. Lindon. There was no way, no possible way in hell that Shiro would have just erased his name like that on such a high-stakes test. That was just incomprehensible to him. He pulled into his driveway and ignored the old couch in his front yard someone dumped there without thinking twice as he got his key ready to open his front door only to be greeted by the strong stench of booze hitting him in the face.

He knew he shouldn't have been surprised since this was a recurring issue that had been happening since he was twelve, but he couldn't seem to get used to it. His mother was a heavy drinker after her husband, Shiro's father was placed in prison for attempted rape and sexual assault on a minor. The weight of knowing that you married a sick freak was too much on her and they ended up losing their home in the quiet suburbs to be placed in the slummiest parts of his town. He was constantly awoken at night by random noises outside like loud bangs that resembled gunshots or just some druggie doped up on heroin going through their garbage. He loved his mother to the moon and back, but he couldn't help but blame her for why they were even in this bad neighborhood, to begin with.

If she had caught onto the strange behavior of her children and husband, then she would have realized that her husband was a monster and they could have all been living happily in the suburbs with Shiro's father locked away but sadly, Mrs. Shirogane lived in denial. What was on today's menu of wallowing and self-pity? Vodka, about three empty bottles of the stuff and a bottle of mango juice.

Shiro found his mother passed out on the ragged couch she always slept on at night with an empty bottle of liquor in her hand and her mouth wide open catching flies while the TV had a rerun special of Grey's Anatomy on. Without thinking about it, Shiro grabbed a blanket and covered his mother's body with it and pried the bottle from her firm grip. She was pale and sickly looking from barely leaving the house, but she had long black hair and grey almond shaped eyes much like Shiro. She was the one he inherited his Japanese heritage from. 

She worked as a receptionist at a hair salon, but nowadays she worked on getting to the bottom of her bottle of liquor while her son worked his ass off at school and his job as a waiter at a restaurant. "Ta...kashi," Shiro's mother mumbled in her sleep as she moved around on the couch to get comfortable while Shiro turned off the TV.

He sighed deeply before leaning over to greet their obese Persian cat named Floofles with a smile. He placed the bottle next to the rest on the floor and lifted Floofles up to walk him back to his room, closing the door before he collapsed on his bed with his white cat on his chest and phone in hand as he went straight to trying to text Allura. She was all he had on his mind lately, he wasn't sure whether he was interested in helping her through this rough patch in her life or actually interested in her as a person anymore as this peculiar case unraveled around him.

You see, if he was going to be completely honest, you could say that he was her secret admirer of sorts and it had been that way since junior year. She may not have ever noticed him, but he noticed her and admired her so much and even aspired to be like her at school. She was so caring, so charitable, kind, loving, selfless, and so much more than he could have continued listing for hours perhaps even days. He had always been too nervous to ask her out or even talk to her after his past experiences with what 'love' was shown to be like to him, so he was afraid of her turning out to be the complete opposite of what he thought he knew her to be.

He was afraid until the support group, then he learned that she was just like him. Struggling in life. He finally had enough courage to ask her out that morning, but because of Mr. Lindon she declined him and actually hurt his feelings a lot with her abruptness, but now she couldn't be influenced by that man since she was probably at home or with Katie, he could text her and simply ask again.

Though, he didn't know one small detail. Allura's phone was in Mr. Lindon's possession now, and the person he asked out via text and actually had agreed to a coffee date wasn't Allura, but rather the man who was trying to destroy anyone who could threaten his relationship with his student. Shiro nearly shouted in excitement when 'Allura' agreed to go get coffee with him in the morning. He was so happy that at least one thing today had actually gone right.

He ruffled the fluffy fur on Floofles head in excitement as he laughed, "Floof Floof, guess who has a date? Me!" He stated and cuddled with the wheezing animal.

Poor him. He believed to finally be getting his life back on track after his condition dominated most of it, but he was actually setting himself up for even more disappointment when he arrived at the café and waited past the first period to find that Allura would never show to the date he thought they agreed to. He had been tricked by the mastermind behind this little game that was meant to torture Shiro for the audience's pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! There was a part in Shiro's POV that outright said what exactly he was a victim to in his childhood that gave him PTSD. Seeing how his childhood will be extremely triggering to some audiences, if I decide to create a backstory chapter about him then there will absolutely be a warning in the first note before you read it. 
> 
> Shiro and Allura's story will not be as fluffy/happy as Keith and Lance's simply because no two relationships are the same and both have their own obstacles they have to overcome together but the Shallura portion of this story is a bit deeper than the Klance in the story. The shallura story is going to [hopefully] be about healing wounds and that love can overcome even the hardest things in life while Klance will be more of a drama type of thing because Shallura ships tend to get overshadowed in fics like this so I really wanted to give Shiro and Allura the deeper story and let Keith and Lance not have such an angsty story to their love. Hunk, of course, will find his love I mean it's in the tags but Pidge has her computers so that's all she cares about.
> 
> If you have any questions about the triggering content that the future may hold for this story (it won't be for a while though if I pace this properly), please feel free to leave them in the comments and I'll reply to those who are concerned about it. Otherwise, enjoy the next update to this story coming Sunday♥


	13. Hot and Cold (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finds his health to be declining slowly as he wakes up one morning, but his day only becomes worse after his sister brings home a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets a little weird to be honest but I tried to convey the proper emotions and whatnot so hopefully it's good?

Lance stood in front of his mirror against the wall of his room and tried to hide how disappointed he was as he stared at his own reflection. All of this stuff with bulimia was beginning to take its toll on his body and anyone could see that even if they were senile. His hair was an absolute mess and greasier than a pan of bacon, his skin was beginning to have a pale complexion, his eyes were redder than Keith's were when he was high and last but not least, his breath smelt god awful no matter how many times he brushed his teeth and used mouthwash that morning. 

He looked so sickly for a seventeen-year-old, this was absolutely ridiculous. He pouted slightly as he picked at his red T-shirt that was extremely loose on his torso and fidgeted with his black sweatpants before he let out a deep sigh and slouched. He dragged himself down the stairs of his home and found himself walking over to the kitchen to see Vincent pouring tequila into his cereal with a look of pure boredom on his face.

"Oh look at Vincent," Lance began, "He's eating his favorite breakfast food; snap, crackle, drunk," he stated sarcastically as he opened the fridge to pull out a protein bar. He needed to try to fix himself even if it was the hardest thing for him to do.

Vincent looked up from the newspaper and narrowed his eyes at his little brother while using his spoon to point at Lance, "I did not voluntarily stay home to keep you company all day just to be ridiculed by you of all people," He grumbled and shoveled a spoonful of his spiked cereal into his mouth. "Besides, Marcia already made that joke so try to be more original maybe?"

Lance seated himself across the table from Vincent and rolled his eyes as he began to check the nutrition facts on the wrapper. "I'm surprised Marcia could even think of something original with how much she tries to be like all the basic bitches at school."

Vincent choked on his food suddenly and coughed into a napkin next to his bowl with wide brown eyes. When he managed to catch his breath he looked at Lance with surprise, "You're usually the one to jump to her defense, why are you being so moody today? I can't deal with you twins anymore if you're both going to be in your angst phases."

What was wrong with him? Well, he was already in a bad mood from how he looked today but he was still embarrassed about yesterday when Keith came to his aid in the bathroom. Having someone be there next to you when you're literally at your weakest makes a person like Lance feel ashamed of cracking like he did. He tried so hard to keep himself from throwing up his food but he just couldn't seem to control his body. He was so used to being alone in the stalls in public that when someone was finally there to hold him in their arms and comfort him, he couldn't help but feel upset. 

Lance scowled as he ripped open his protein bar and bit straight into it without looking at his brother. "I'm not in an angst phase, I'm just in a bad mood. Can't people be in a bad mood around here without being questioned about it?" Lance shouted through a mouthful of food.

Vincent raised his thick eyebrows and motioned towards his breakfast, "Hello, midlife crisis here," He stated before taking another bite from his food.

"Then don't question me about my problems and I won't question you about your bad date last night," Lance said as he narrowed his blue eyes on his now intrigued brother who was pursuing his lips.

"How?" He asked only a single question as he placed the newspaper down and crossed his arms to observe his little brother.

Lance took another chunk from the bar and pointed to Vincent's clothing, "You're wearing your pity outfit. Whenever you have a bad date or bad sex, you wear that exact outfit; coffee stained shirt, your favorite plaid boxers, and you don't bother fixing your hair. That's how I know," Lance listed off everything but left out the bit where Vincent drinks the following day and uses a sick day to take the day off of work. He was a predictable man.

Vincent looked down at his coffee-stained shirt, then at his boxers before he scrunched his nose up. "Not a word of this to mother," he hissed before chugging the bowl of spiked milk. He then let out a long sigh and began speaking again, "Are you inviting Keith over for family movie night tonight? Mom was asking me this morning before she left, she really likes that boy you know. She likes how good he is with Heidi and Christian."

Lance nearly choked on his breakfast as Vincent reminded him of the last person he wanted to see right now. They had to spend time together but he just didn't want to have Keith around him so soon after what happened yesterday. He suddenly lost interest in his food and wrapped the remaining portion of the protein bar up, "I don't know," He replied honestly before raised a thin eyebrow, "Where did mom run off to exactly?"

Vincent shrugged as he reached over to take the half-eaten food from Lance and finish it himself, "She said she was going out with her girlfriends but she was dressed really nicely," He pointed out.

Lance's jaw dropped as he listened to his brother. "Do you think it's possible she's on a breakfast date? You said she was dressed up right, so why would she look nice if she's just going out with the girls?" Lance placed his hand to his chin and began thinking.

Vincent, through a mouthful of food, shouted, "Impossible! Mom wouldn't dare date anyone after what happened with dad!"

Lance crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back to stare at Vincent, "Oh really now? She can't move on with her life but dad is fine screwing his assistant and living it up with girls? Nice logic there, buddy," he stated mockingly and emphasized the word 'buddy'.

Vincent threw his hands in the air like how Keith would do if he got too stressed out, "That's not what I meant at all!" He retorted with a hint of anger in his voice.

Lance rolled his eyes yet again and sighed, "whatever you say Vincent, but I think mom has every-"

Just then the hollow sound of their doorbell rang throughout the house and a coy smile played its way across Vincent's face causing Lance to become alarmed. It was still morning time, everyone was at school or work so there was no one that Lance could think of that actually had time to come over so early in the day. He only got to stay home because his mother was concerned about how sick he looked.

"What was that?" Lance asked slowly as he narrowed his eyes.

Vincent shrugged, "Why don't you answer the door, hotshot."

Lance got up from his seat with an irritated expression on his face as he cautiously approached the door to see the silhouette of a person on the other side of the opaque glass on the door. His hand snaked its way to the door handle but he didn't twist it right away as he grabbed onto it, he was still suspicious of who it was. He took a deep breath and opened the door with his eyes closed and heard a small gasp from the to her side as he opened it all the way before taking a peek to see Keith standing outside in his little emo getup. Seriously, this kid needed to choose whether he wanted to look like Pete Wentz or Justin Timberlake because Lance could barely keep track on Keith's style anymore.

He was holding a bag in his hands and his face was bright red as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. "W-Wait, Vincent told me you were at school!" He exclaimed in surprise as he looked Lance over very quickly. 

Lance narrowed his blurry vision onto Keith as he finally realized he wasn't wearing his glasses so he couldn't even see the vehicle that Keith was brought here in. "I'm obviously here and Vincent is a liar," Lance stated coldly as he went to close the door, "See you later K-"

Keith reached out and stopped the door with his hand before pushing the bag through the small opening of the doorway, "At least take this if you're just going to kick me out before I even enter your home. It's from Vivian, she wanted you to have it. It's the clothes she bought you."

Lance looked at the bag as saw that is was from the store they visited yesterday before he reluctantly took it from Keith's hand and went to shut the door. He almost succeeded but Vincent pulled it open from behind nearly knocking Lance over. "Oh, Keith, welcome! Come on in you ray of sunshine!" Vincent said happily as he shoved Lance out of the way and allowed Keith to step into the home with a troubled look on his face. 

Lance frowned at his brother and scrunched his nose up, "Why?" He whispered quietly and motioned towards Keith.

Vincent shrugged, "Like I said, Lance, I'm not in the mood to deal with your teenage angst," He stated bluntly and closed the door behind Keith. "So, I'm going to be in my room grading tests and trying to see what student should be on my shitlist for making a bad grade, enjoy yourselves," Vincent smiled and clapped his hands together before he dragged himself upstairs with a depressed look on his face.

Lance rushed over to the bottom of the stairs and cupped his hands around his mouth, "I think you forgot your alcohol!" He was upset over Keith being invited over without his input and this was the only thing he could think of doing as payback for the moment.

"Are you okay?" Keith raised his eyebrow slightly as he looked at Lance. The poor boy was standing there awkwardly with his hands clasped together behind his back and his lips pinched together while his purple eyes rested on Lance.

Lance didn't like this Keith. It was as if the sassy jerk he knew from before disappeared yesterday in the mall bathroom and was replaced with this loving boy who thought he needed to be there for Lance every second of the day. Lance gave Keith a look of disgust before he too began to trudge his way up the stairs ahead of him. "Go away Keith, I don't want to look at you."

Keith took offense to this as he began tailing Lance, "What the hell is wrong with you? You've been acting cold since yesterday, you're being seriously immature and I don't think it's funny," He said in a cheerless tone and tried to walk next to Lance but the petty boy stepped in front of Keith's path anytime he tried.

"I never asked for your opinion, did I?" Lance asked bitterly as he opened the door to his room not even bothering to slam his door shut because Keith was literally right behind him. "Why are you even bothering to talk to me anyway? I'm a freak." 

Keith closed the door behind them gently and stared at Lance sympathetically as the boy collapsed on his bed after dropping the bag on the floor and let out an overdramatic groan. "You're not a freak, Lance," he smiled softly before he took a seat on the edge of the bed and twiddled his thumbs while keeping his gaze on the floor.

Lance stuffed his face into his pillow and ignored Keith. "Go away," he pouted and tried to ignore the quiet presence of Keith at the end of his bed.

He just wanted to be left alone, he wanted to be by himself as he moped around the house all day. No one understood how he felt having to live like he did so why would someone even try to understand? He wanted Keith to leave him alone, the only person he wanted to see right now was Nyma because she made him feel like a normal boy.

Keith sighed and pulled out his phone in order to start texting people, "I'm not leaving," He stated monotonously.

Lance wanted to bang his head against the wall because of the stubborn jerk in his room. First, Keith wanted to strangle Lance for just breathing but now the boy was trying to be there for him when he felt upset. What was his stupid deal? "Go. Away."

"Nah."

Lance sat up with a choleric look on his face, his hair was messy now and his face was turning bright red. "Why can't you just listen to me for once? I don't want to be around you because it just reminds me of how pathetic I am and-" he instantly covered his mouth with his hand and felt his ears burn in embarrassment. He just told Keith why he didn't want to be around him when he meant to insult him. God, he was an idiot.

Keith click the power button on his phone and relaxed slightly but didn't even look at Lance. "So it is because of the bathroom thing, huh," He slouched slightly and began to pass his phone back and forth between his hands as he tried to remain calm. "You know, yesterday Vivian and I were concerned about you all day because you were-" his voice got caught in his throat suddenly and he shook his head quietly.

Lance's curiosity got the best of him as he raised an eyebrow, "I was what?"

"You were acting weird when you were with Nyma, you were so focused on doing what she wanted to do that you barely spent any time with me so I decided to check on you in the bathroom," He continued and clenched his jaw tightly. He wasn't looking at Lance but Lance could feel the guilt rolling off of Keith's body, "I guess when I saw you hurting yourself trying to keep your food down. I just... I just remembered how when I was first diagnosed with cancer that I was all alone dealing with my problem and I just cried myself to sleep every night. I didn't want you to feel like I did."

Lance was at loss for words as he stared at Keith quietly. He never once heard Keith talk about his feeling like this so hearing him confide in him of all people was like a fairytale. It just didn't seem at all possible. Sure they were closer now ever since Keith found out about Lance's abuse at school but they weren't best friends or anything. He suddenly felt guilty as he realized how selfish he had been. He thought only about how he had felt being held in Keith's arms after he finished vomiting that he hadn't even thought about how Keith had felt in that bathroom. 

Lance swallowed down his worthless pride and reached out to touch Keith's shoulder gently, "Hey man," He started to talk but when Keith jumped slightly at Lance's touch he felt his words get stuck in his throat. He didn't really know what to say other than make a stupid joke that could possibly lighten the tense mood.

"Don't worry about it," Keith smiled softly as he looked up at Lance. His purple eyes were so, what was the proper word to describe it? Iridescent? Winsome? Lustrous? The word just couldn't seem to come to Lance's mind as he looked away from Keith with a tiny smile on his face.

"Sorry," He mumbled quietly.

Keith shrugged before he changed the subject, "If you feel like a freak then imagine this; I'm a famous model and yet I haven't even kissed anyone or even had my uh- first time," He joked with a tiny hint of red in his pale cheeks.

"Oh please," Lance scoffed as he tried to one-up the Korean model, "I haven't even had a girlfriend yet."

Keith chuckled as he smiled in amusement, "We're gonna die being the virginest of all virgins."

"Is virginest even a word?" Lance cocked his head to the side.

Keith looked at Lance with doubt, "I wouldn't know, I just thought it sounded cool so I said it."

"Sweet. We'll be the virginest of all the virgins together then," Lance nodded slowly.

Keith nodded in agreement before he raised his fist into the air to Lance who instinctively flinched causing Keith to make a bilious face. "Virgin bros?" He asked.

Lance gently bumped his fist with Keith and smiled, "Virgin bros."

They wasted the day away sitting in Lance's room looking at his ceiling as they pointed to the painted clouds above and guessed what they looked like. Keith insisted that every cloud looked like a hippopotamus for some peculiar reason, Lance just guessed the kid really loved hippos but to him, most of the clouds looked like sharks. When Vincent finally emerged from his room he was dressed in normal clothing and actually looked like an adult as he went downstairs to fix snacks for when the elementary school let out and the three kids of the home would come to wreak havoc upon everyone inside the McClain household. Surprisingly, Keith managed to tame the little ones and he played outside with them on the trampoline and even let Patrick wrestle him which made Vincent smile seeing Christian having so much fun.

"You better not ever lose him as a friend because he's my go-to guy for a babysitter," Vincent pointed out as he sat outside with Lance next to him at the picnic table with Heidi on his lap as she drew pictures.

Lance looked at his brother and narrowed his eyes slightly, "I remember you calling him the devil when you saw him, why are you and mom so in love with him now?" He asked curiously.

Vincent shrugged as he took a sip of apple juice while he watched Christian and Patrick tackle Keith on the trampoline, "He's able to tame those two little demons and Heidi loves him to death," his brown eyes settled on their little sister as he reached over to pinch her puffy cheeks gently, "Right sweetie?"

Heidi gave a toothy grin as she lifted up her paper to show her drawing, "Right. He and Lance are going to give me a niece after all!" She stated confidently.

Lance looked at the scribbles on the paper and felt his ears grow red hot as he realized she drew him and Keith holding hands with her and a giant heart was above them. "Ahhh, no, no we're not Heidi!" Lance said nervously as he glanced up to see Keith pretending to be hurt while the two little boys laughed at him. Sadistic little kids.

Vincent shrugged, "Sure you can, it's 2017 you can do anything!" He said with a wide smile that stretched from ear to ear while a hearty laugh resonated from deep within him.

Lance reached over and hit his brother on the leg with the back of his hand while his eyebrows knitted together on his forehead in seriousness, "Don't encourage her!" He shouted in annoyance while Heidi began to sing the stupid song about kissing in a tree using Keith and Lance's names. "Did you teach her that?" Lance demanded and he hit Vincent again but this time getting a little yelp at his older brother.

"Hey," Vincent smacked the back of Lance's head and glared at his little brother, "So what if I did?" He asked before sticking his tongue out at him.

Lance carefully removed Heidi from his lap before he reached over and hit Vincent again but this time on the back of his head since the curly brunette always thought to target the back of Lance's head first. Why not give him a taste of his own medicine? "So what? I'm going to kill you that's what!" Lance exclaimed as he and Vincent began to slap each other like two little kids causing Keith to scramble off of the trampoline in order to force himself between the two siblings.

"Hey, cut it out!" Keith exclaimed as Lance reached around him in order to pinch Vincent's chest causing the adult man to squeak in pain.

Vincent reached above Keith and shoved Lance's head back with his palm as he blew raspberries at the young boy, "He started it!" 

Keith took a deep breath and looked at the sky with aggravation, "I will end this in a way where no one is happy if the two of you don't stop!" Keith shouted in annoyance.

Lance went to go punch his brother but Keith grabbed Lance's wrist and pulled him off the picnic table all while Heidi sat there with wide eyes full of fright. Lance landed on the grass below him and scowled in anger at Keith who was now sitting next to a happy Vincent with his arms and legs crossed. "Really? He was the one who started it by teasing me when I have a girl already!" Lance exclaimed as he pointed at Vincent.

Vincent's brown eyes that were once full of happiness changed to confusion as he looked at his little brother, "Wait, you have a girlfriend?"

Keith made a very questionable face of disgust as he looked away from Lance with the biggest pout on his face. "Yeah he does, her name is Nyma," he spilled the beans with reluctance.

Heidi looked down at Lance and began to tear up, "But what about Keith?" She whined and reached out to grab Keith's hand, "He was supposed to give me a niece because he's so pretty!"

Lance facepalmed and groaned, "Heidi, your brother likes a girl already I'm sorry," He said. Then he looked at Vincent with a pleading look, "Don't tell mom please, I don't want her to force me to bring her to the house for dinner!"

"So you're dating Nyma now?" Marcia's voice sounded from behind Lance making the boy tense up while Keith looked absolutely horrified as he uncrossed his arms and legs.

"Is it a prob-" Lance decided to be a little sassy with his sister but as he turned around his blood turned to ice and he felt his entire body go rigid at the sight of the person standing next to her with his arm around her and a wicked grin on his glamorously clear face.

Lotor waved at Lance as he pulled Marcia closer to him, "Is it a problem? Absolutely not," He stated with a small snicker, "Why would it be, Lance?"

This could not be happening. No, this definitely had to be a dream because Marcia would never date someone like Lotor right? Lance couldn't help himself as he pushed his back into Keith's legs as he tried to contain his fear. The black haired boy caught onto this and placed his hand on Lance's shoulder as he sat up straight and glared at Lotor with so much anger in his face that Lance was surprised the idiot didn't try to murder the football player. 

Lance was so terrified, why was he here? Was this some kind of sick joke? Marcia was bringing the person that Lance feared the most into his own home and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it without getting seriously injured again by the star football player of his school.

Vincent looked Lotor up and down and tried not to laugh at the stupid man bun the boy had, "So who's tall, light, and handsome there?" He asked.

Marcia, the object of Lance's hate for the moment, turned red and actually looked embarrassed as her blue eyes settled onto the ground. "He's my boyfriend, I thought he should meet the family during family movie night. If not then we can just leave and-"

"He can stay, just don't do anything I wouldn't do when you two are alone," Vincent sighed and turned his attention back to his son and little brother on the trampoline who were throwing balls at each other.

Marcia smiled in excitement as she looked up at Lotor, she wasn't even acting. She was actually really happy and this tore Lance apart. Maybe she didn't know about his relationship with the asshole but how could Lotor go after his sister just to get back at him? He wanted to break down into tears right then and there but Keith's voice kept him from falling victim to his own emotions, "Lance and I will be upstairs."

Lance looked up at Keith and felt his heart skip a beat as he realized that the boy was trying to help him by getting him and Lotor as far apart as possible. "R-Right!" Lance agreed as he bolted upright and felt Keith grab onto his hand as he too stood up to lead Lance back inside.

"Have fun but do what I wouldn't do!" Vincent teased his little brother without knowing why the two boys were being so weird at the sight of Marcia's boyfriend.

Lance didn't have time to respond as Keith pulled him over to the back door and shoved him inside and stuck his middle finger up at Lotor when he was sure no one would see. The two rushed upstairs and slammed Lance's door shut just in time for the boy to start his mental breakdown.

"Why is he here?" Lance whined as he sat on his bed and placed his face into his hands trying to hide his tears and muffle his sobbing. "Why the fuck is he trying to screw with me in my own home now?"

Keith rushed over to Lance and knelt in front of him in order to gently pull Lance's hands away from his face. The boy was an absolute wreck, to say the least; his face was all red and blotchy, his nose was snotty, his eyes were bright red and his entire body was trembling. "Hey," Keith cupped Lance's cheeks in his palms and looked up at him, ignoring the fact that some of Lance's tears had fallen onto his own face. "Don't worry about him, I'll kick his ass if he gets anywhere near you okay Lance? I won't let him hurt you again, I promise you this!" He said with confidence as he wiped away Lance's tears with the black sleeve of his jacket.

Lance sniffled and stared down at Keith who was just being so kind to him. "I ruined your eyeliner!" Lance wailed as he noticed how Keith's black eyeliner was being smeared by his tears falling onto the boy's face. Maybe Lance needed someone else to look like shit to make himself feel better.

Keith laughed slightly as he wiped away the tears that landed on his face with his shoulder making the smudged eyeliner look even worse. "I don't care, honestly. You can make me look like shit too if it would make you feel better Lance, just stop crying please or I just might murder him for making my friend cry."

"You don't even know me that well, we don't know the first thing about each other! How can you call me your friend?" Lance tried to pull his face away from Keith but the boy simply squished Lance's cheeks together as he tried to keep him from looking away.

Keith's purple eyes were still full of confidence as he puffed his chest out, "I know your favorite color is blue, you like garlic knots, sharks are your favorite animals, your smile is really pretty, and uh-" he paused and began to think until his eyes brightened suddenly as if he had a stroke of genius. "You used to be fat and you've got really girly hips!"

Lance could help but feel the urge to punch Keith in the face for that statement. Lance was so self-conscious about his weight and figure, why would that idiot bother pointing it out to him. One thing made him stop crying though, and it was the fact that all of the facts that Keith had said (aside from the smile one which was a biased opinion) were all true. He did love the color blue, he adored sharks, he would die for garlic knots and he did have girly hips and used to be fat. Why was he right? 

Lance sniffled again as he managed to speak through his squished cheeks, "I hate you," he whimpered.

Keith laughed as he raised his eyebrow and smirked, "What was that? I can't- I couldn't seem to hear you through your cheeks!" He joked.

"I said I hate you."

"I'm sure you do, Lancelot."

"I really fucking hate you. I would love to throw you in a volcano and watch you burn."

Keith laughed a little more and let go of Lance's cheeks as he stared up at him with a look of pure amusement. "I always wanted to live by a volcano. I would die happily."

Lance's tears finally dried up as Keith managed to distract him from the whole Lotor business that was happening in the next room over where they could hear Marcia giggling. "Then I'll figure out a way to kill you so you won't actually like it!" Lance said.

Keith shrugged, "Ha, I want to die so joke's on you."

"I'll stick you in a damn wormhole!"

"Now we're getting somewhere!"

The two began to laugh uncontrollably in the room as they forgot all about Lotor. Once they calmed down Keith sat on the bed next to Lance and nudged him slightly. "So do you really like Nyma?" Keith asked.

Lance nodded as he felt his heart flutter at the mention of her name. He really did like her and he wouldn't mind calling her his girlfriend but there was a downfall to that; he didn't know how to be a boyfriend or even how to kiss. You had to kiss your significant other right? "Yeah and I do want her to be my girlfriend but I don't know how to be in a relationship or kiss."

"Well, we can try to fix one of those things if you want..." Keith whispered quietly.

Lance looked up with confusion painting his face as he tried to figure out what Keith was talking about. "I don't think you can fix any of those without actually-" He turned bright red as he realized what Keith was trying to say and he instantly shut up.

"It'd be platonically, one bro helping another bro out," Keith stated as he tried to make sure that Lance knew there wasn't an ulterior motive.

Lance pursed his lips slightly and thought it over for a moment before agreeing. "I wouldn't want to screw up my first kiss with Nyma so sure, as long as it's platonically."

"No homo?"

"No homo."

Keith and Lance took a deep breath before they turned to face each other on the bed. Neither of them knew how to kiss so how was this even a good idea? They'd probably both end up grossing the other out and be weirded out by each other's presence but they already agreed to it so they couldn't just back down now and look like a wuss in front of the other guy.

Keith swallowed as he tried to speak, "So first things first," he reached his hand up and brushed a piece of brown hair away from Lance's forehead, "Make sure you can see her eyes clearly and you take a moment to gaze into hers until you feel like it's the right moment to lean in like so."

Lance felt nervousness beginning to twist his stomach into knots as Keith gazed into Lance's eyes for a moment before he slowly closed his and began to lean in while he kept his palm against Lance's hot cheek. Lance didn't know what else to do other than to close his own eyes and go for it. He too took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward, making sure to tilt his head to the side but instead of meeting Keith's lips they bumped foreheads together causing Keith let go of Lance's face and place his hand against his own head. 

"You idiot, you don't tilt your head the same direction I do, you do it in the opposite direction!" He exclaimed in fury, his purple eyes blazing with anger.

Lance covered his face in embarrassment as his forehead throbbed in pain, "I didn't know what to do, I'm sorry Keith!" He was about ready to cry again but Keith pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply before pulled Lance's hands away from his face.

"Here," He titled Lance's head to the left and his own to the right and pulled Lance forwards slowly so that they wouldn't slam into each other again.

Then he closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Lance's making the Cuban boy scream internally at how it felt to be kissed by another person. It felt so weird yet so good at the same time? His face was burning red hot as he felt Keith's soft lips brush against his as they stayed there unmoving for a long time. Neither one of them tried to deepen the kiss or anything as they awkwardly tried to not bite each other's lip. Lance squeezed his eyes shut and felt his stomach do summersaults inside of his body actually making him think he was going to be sick for a moment until Keith pulled away carefully. 

Lance peeked to see Keith staring at him with a red face. "Uh," Keith cleared his throat and let go of Lance's face. "That's how you give her a normal kiss I guess," He mumbled and looked down at the floor as he gripped his knees with his hands.

Lance suddenly had another question, "What if she wants to make out though? Like tongue action and everything, what do I do then?" He inquired.

Keith looked at him bleakly and cocked his head to the side, "Are you honestly asking for another example? I just kissed you but now you want to make out too? You're so demanding," he huffed in annoyance before placing his hands on Lance's hip and the back of his head. "Hold her like this and if you're in a car make sure you're in the backseat because shit might get real steamy."

"How would it get steamy?" Lance asked in confusion.

Keith looked like he was in agony as he tried to teach Lance how to make out with his future girlfriend. "Because Lance, you're going to treat your girl right and press her against the seat like this," he then pushed Lance's back onto the bed making a soft creak sound from the mattress.

Lance felt extremely awkward having the shorter boy looking down at him as he got straddled by Keith who had been his rival just a week ago. "Where would she put her hands on me though? I don't want to lay here like a vegetable," Lance stated with a shaky voice. This was just so fucking weird he didn't even know how to describe it.

Keith groaned in annoyance as he placed Lance's hand in his mullet and on his lower back. "Since you're Nyma in this situation and I'm you, she'll be grabbing onto your hair okay, don't be surprised by that, alright?" Keith pointed out as he tried to get comfortable on top of Lance making the bed squeak even more under their weight.

Lance nodded as he squirmed under Keith to get comfortable as well, "Okay, yeah. Will her hands go anywhere else though?" He asked curiously.

Keith tried not to laugh in hysterics as he nodded, "Yes but you're definitely not going to be touching me anywhere where she would be touching you because this is a completely platonic situation," He placed his hand on Lance's cheek again and the other on the side of his neck. "Let's begin then, don't bite me when we get into the uh-" he stopped and his face turned to disgust, "tongue action as you put it."

Lance glared at Keith in annoyance as he stared up at him, "Shut the fuck up and let's just hurry this up before someone walks in on us," He ordered Keith who obediently followed his order and kissed Lance a little too aggressively making the pale looking boy yelp. "Not so hard!" He shouted.

Keith looked down at Lance and glared at him, "If you aren't aggressive with her she won't have a fun time, dipshit!" Keith hissed and leaned down again and pressed his lips against Lance's but a little gentler this time in order to ease lance into it.

Instinctively Lance grabbed a clump of Keith's hair in nervousness making the Korean grumble into Lance's mouth angrily, "Be gentle with my head," he stated and closed his purple eyes in order to deepen the kiss even though there was definitely some reluctance in the action as Keith hesitated for a brief second.

Lance loosened his grip and opened his mouth to apologize but became surprised when Keith took advantage of this and started what Lance would call 'tongue action'. He was in complete shock as he felt Keith's hand move from his neck down to his hip and slide up under his lower back to pull Lance into him to further deepen their kiss.

Lance squeezed his eyes shut and decided that he had to try to mimic what Keith was doing in order to get better at it. Though, what neither boy expected was them actually getting into this little platonic make out session where Lance's hands wandered under Keith's shirt as Keith pulled his lips away from Lance's in order to kiss his jawline before traveling down to his collarbone where Lance tensed up hand felt himself shiver underneath his friend.

"Keith..." He moaned softly causing Keith to bite him by mistake and pull away rather abruptly with wide eyes full of panic. 

Lance didn't even realize his stupid mistake as he howled in pain and rolled off the bed holding his hands to his collarbone where Keith accidentally bit him out of shock from Lance moaning his name out loud. "Why the fuck did you bite me!" Lance rolled around on the floor as he tried to ignore the pain.

Keith was stuck in his own world as he stared at the wall with eyes bigger than the moon. He absolutely and undeniably traumatized as he quickly crossed his legs and slouched over with a look of fear on his face. "I-I don't know..." He breathed out and bit his lip as if trying to distract himself.

"Well you fucking hurt me you asshole, who the hell bites their friends?" Lance shouted as he crawled over to his mirror and nearly screamed at the sight of his pale skin turning bright red and blue. "You-" He breathed out in anger and disbelief. "You gave me a fucking hickey!" He wailed as he felt his eyes sting from tears threatening to fall from his face.

Keith was still on the bed and didn't bother to move a muscle as he continued to sit there with that same traumatized look on his face. "I... I didn't m-mean to. I uh, I need a d-drink," he stuttered.

Lance frowned at the boy and stood up to check on him, "Are you okay you look like-" As he took a step towards Keith, Keith held his hand out to Lance to signal him to stop.

His purple eyes were full of fear and distress as he shook his head vigorously, "I am swell. Just swell!" He pointed to the opposite corner of the room and turned red, "Just stay waaaaay over there."

Lance was so oblivious to what was going on with his friend who was fidgeting awkwardly on the bed with his legs crossed and hand trembling. "Alright dude, just chill out."

"Y-Yeah, chill out. I really should," Keith breathed out and swallowed down his nervousness as he stayed on Lance's bed. "I just need to-" the idiot began coughing from his asthma being triggered from his shallow breathing.

Lance stared at his friend as Keith tried to catch his breath but he didn't try to approach him because it would just make things worse. "Hey calm down man, just take a deep breath okay?" Lance said.

Keith nodded and began to take deep breaths and he actually started to relax, the look of distress in his eyes slowly melted away as he calmed down and got his breathing under control. He then uncrossed his legs slowly and let out a breath of relief. "We're good now but no more of whatever the hell that was," Keith pointed to the bed he was still sitting on as he talked about the kissing thing.

Lance stared at him in confusion, he still hadn't realized what had happened to Keith after he said his name and he probably never will realize it unless Keith told him. "Yeah, that's fine but are you sure you've calmed down K-"

"Don't say my name, call me something else for the time being!" Keith quickly cut Lance off making the oblivious boy even more confused.

Lance decided to say the first thing that came to mind, "Samurai..."

"That's good, yeah. Call me samurai," Keith nodded as he stood up and pushed Lance out of the way so that he could wipe his makeup off his face. "On a side note, I almost got arrested today for spray painting a dick on the mall," Keith stated nonchalantly.

Lance looked at his friend in disappointment, "Seriously dude? A dick?"

"Yes, seriously," Keith sighed and stood up to take a deep breath and straightened out his back. "Should we just go downstairs with your younger siblings for a while since the shitty couple is next door doing god knows what?" He asked with a very forced smile on his face. It was like he didn't want to be alone with Lance anymore.

The rest of the day was just a normal hangout day with Keith plus three little kids who sat with Keith and Lance on the floor during movie night and even fell asleep with Keith after the second movie. It was obvious Keith couldn't stay up past two in the morning just like half of Lance's family including Lotor who was snoring away on the couch with Marcia in his arms. Lance sighed as he stared at Marcia from where he sat, he was happy that she was smiling again and not screaming in his face but he just wished it could have been with someone else other than that jackass sitting with her. Vincent was passed out in the recliner with his son in his arms since he picked up Christian after he fell asleep so that he could hold him. He was an amazing father but he had his moments like this morning. Lance's mother was also fast asleep on the couch with a bowl of popcorn on her lap. She had definitely been out on a date that day but Lance was going to let her live her secret life until she was ready to come off about it.

Finally, Lance's eyes settled on Keith who had two kids in his arms as he quietly snored with them. It was amazing how easily Keith had tamed the very energetic Patrick who just absolutely loved terrorizing Heidi with bugs and made him this little angel who hugged his little sister in his arms while they slept. Lance snapped a photo of the three of them before he too laid down and drifted off to sleep to the sound of Avatar in the background.

**********  
Journal entry #3 by Lance McClain

Today was... interesting to say the least. I wish I knew how to relate it back to my bulimia but to be honest it felt like a normal day which isn't something I normally have. I didn't vomit today so I'm really happy about that since I usually can't hold down anything let alone an entire dinner. I'm really happy Vincent invited Keith over, god knows I needed him when Lotor decided to ruin my life.

Thanks again, Samurai.

-The amazing, fantastical Lancey-Lance

**************

Journal entry #3 by Keith Kogane

I can never hear my name the same way after that moment. What the hell was I thinking? I thought it'd be totally platonic but HE JUST HAD TO DO THAT?  
(frantic scribbles cross out half the page and a hole in the middle of it shows the pen ink bled through to the next page)

I can't believe this, I think I may actually be falling for my friend? I'm gay but I'm not supposed to be gay for him! If only he hadn't said my name the way he did and I hadn't .... you know... I wouldn't be in this mess. Damn you Lance McClain and everything you stand for. I hate you. But not your smile. 

Someone save me.

-Someone in dire need of a pray the gay away camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the original kissing scene was supposed to happen later on in the story while Lance and Nyma were dating. It was going to be platonic but like this one, Keith ends up finding out he's slowly falling for Lance. I didn't think that having them kiss while Lance and Nyma were dating would be very fair (I also really hate cheaters) so I decided to bump it up to before so I could avoid backlash and a giant plothole in the future. 
> 
> Cheating isn't okay kids, don't do it even with your gay best friend.


	14. Church Sins (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith struggles with the growing feelings inside of himself after he realizes what he and Lance did together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently editing every chapter because I realized how many typos and grammatical errors there were so I wanted to fix them so I didn't sound illiterate;;;
> 
> Please, enjoy this chapter :)

It was an early Saturday morning and what was Keith doing? He was trying not to scream as he borrowed some of Lance's clothes for the therapy session. Why was he trying not to scream? Maybe because he couldn't get that stupid moan of Lance's out of his head from when they were practicing how to make out on one another. Lance never realized that he had moaned Keith's name out loud, which made Keith a wee bit too excited in some areas. The sound escaping from Lance's lips scared the ever loving god out of the poor boy and made him bite Lance by mistake in shock as he threw himself backwards and tried to hide his uh... well his pitched tent for the lack of a better term.

Now, as he stood in front of Lance's mirror wearing his blue hoodie and a pair of his jeans, he couldn't help but feel his heart thundering in his chest while his stomach flipped all about within his body and his face burned red hot. This was not okay, he didn't want this, and he wasn't ready to fall for someone like Lance. Lance liked Nyma and Keith knew that the moment he saw Lance and Nyma together; they're bros, he had to support Lance.

Even so, he couldn't help himself as he blushed as he noticed how Lance's sleeves were too long for him and they gave him sweater paws, he was fangirling to say the least. "God," Keith gasped and grabbed his hair and groaned in agony, "No, I can't have gay thoughts about him! He's my friend that likes this girl, and I'm his bro that likes him? In what world would this ever work?" He quietly mumbled to himself as he paced back and forth in Lance's room alone while the idiot shared a bathroom with his older brother while they got ready for the therapy session.

None of this would have happened if Keith hadn't got caught shoplifting that day, he wouldn't be having this stupid little conundrum and he would be chilling out in the woods with his friends as they got high together and decided what they should do together next. He never even wanted to go to the group meeting, and yet here he was like a little dog wagging his tail as he waited for Lance to walk him through the front doors of that stupid little church they had to go to.

Then it hit him and he froze in place with a clump of hair in his fists and eyes wide; he and Lance were going to be separated from each other this meeting, AKA goodbye Lance's pretty smile that gave Keith a reason to live. "No," Keith dropped his hands to his sides and breathed out in disbelief. "No, no this can't be happening, not right now!" He whined pitifully and buried his face into his hands.

He wanted to stay with Lance a little longer, he wanted to push his bangs away from his forehead and gaze into those blue eyes again. They were like blue tourmaline, you know. When most people see blue eyes they often describe it as ice blue or even go on a tangent about how it reminded them of the beach, but to Keith, Lances eyes were just like tourmaline... they were just so stunning and unique only to him. Back when he and Vivian were younger, before they were forced into the roles their parents gave them in society, they used to collect rocks and every time they went out to a museum with rock exhibits, he would always try to find a tourmaline stone. It was his favorite.

He never found the tourmaline in the museums, but he happened upon one by chance in a stupid little church off the highway with a horrible painting of Jesus in the lobby. He didn't want to lose the rare chance he had been given to stare into Lance's eyes, like he got yesterday when he brushed aside Lance's bangs and stared into his eyes.

He wished that Saturday would come in three years, possibly even more, but he was a realist and knew that something as beautiful as Lance's eyes and smile wouldn't be in his life forever. He had to move on.

"What can't be happening?" Lance's voice sounded causing Keith to jump out of his skin as he pulled his face out of his palms to look over his shoulder at Lance.

He was just so...? There were no words that came to mind in Keith's head to describe Lance. It was as if he was suffering from a total mental shutdown as his purple eyes rested on the taller boy. He was wearing his glasses and he kept his brown hair all nice and curly, his blue and white shirt actually fit him and his jeans didn't look too baggy, and a little scarf to top it off to hide Keith's mistake. Keith was ready to cry as he looked up to meet Lance's eyes, but he couldn't let his selfishness get to him right now. He had to be supportive and-

"You don't look fat," Keith stated as he made a weird face at Lance who just looked as bleak as ever.

Yes, that was the perfect way to be supportive. Lance sighed and rolled his eyes as he walked past Keith to grab his phone on the bed, "Thanks," Lance said dryly and checked his phone. "You didn't answer the question though."

Keith became frustrated as he tried to ignore the fact he just screwed up and also that he was curious about who Lance was talking to as the boy began to text. 'I bet it's Nyma, that two timing bitch...' Keith thought to himself quietly as he crossed his arms over his chest and tried to ignore his anger.

Sure, he and Vivian saw Nyma flirting with another boy at the mall, but it was only once and she wasn't even dating Lance yet, so it wasn't exactly cheating, right? Keith crossed his arms over his chest and furrowed his brows as he tried to ignore the small laugh that escaped Lance's lips when his phone chimed. They were having so much fun texting each other, they were practically dating already and Keith hated the gross feeling of jealousy beginning to form inside of him in this one sided love. He was supposed to be this rebel- not some fluffy, cuddle loving junior who was having an existential crisis in the clothes of someone he may like!

Keith swallowed down hard as he laughed slightly, why was he so anxious? He felt like he was sweating puddles where he stood and his face was hotter than the sun for god sake. He was just so damn nervous. "It's nothing," Keith managed to say calmly as he turned away and pressed his hands against his cheeks and screamed internally as he wished for his heart to calm itself down.

If Vivian were here, she would slap Keith across the face for not trying to talk to Lance about why he was acting strange, but the thing is, Lance didn't seem at all interested in Keith. Not even in the slightest, hell, Keith didn't even know if he were bisexual or not. Then a lightbulb went off in his head and he had a brilliant idea; if he asked Lance a question about himself and he got it wrong then it would mean Lance didn't care about Keith.

Yeah, that was a brilliant plan! No, remarkable more like it. Keith silently gave himself a round of applause for being so smart before he cleared his throat and turned to face Lance again. "What's my favorite animal?" He asked suddenly.

Lance looked up from his phone and stared at Keith with uncertainty, "Uh," he frowned before he stuck his head out a little, "A hippopotamus, I guess?"

'Shit, he got it right. How?' Keith silently cursed at Lance in his head before he tried another question. "My favorite color?" He asked as he leaned forwards and raised an eyebrow. Surely Lance wouldn't be able to guess it.

"Seeing how you had a red hat, a red flannel, and a red phone case," Lance slowly sat down on his bed and stared down at his phone as he continued texting.

Keith held in his breath as he tried to not scream out loud. How was Lance right about all of these questions? Keith was turning bright blue in his face from forgetting to breathe, "K-Keith?" Lance looked horrified as he dropped his phone and grabbed his shorter friend by the shoulders, "Are you dying or something?"

Keith gasped for air and asked a question as he began to wheeze, "What's my job?"

Wow, he was about ready to die, but he was still looking for any possible thing to hate Lance for not knowing about him. "Uh," Lance glanced behind Keith at the pile of magazines in the corner of his room before he looked back at Keith with a look of confusion on his face. "Modeling...?" He said slowly as if he were wondering if this were a trick question.

Keith stared at Lance with round eyes, 'Dear god, he got every question right! He's such an asshole!' He thought to himself as he cleared his throat and took a step away from Lance. That tall boy in front of him was going to make his life harder than what it actually was, wasn't he? 'Curse you Lance McClain and your pretty smile, pretty hair, your eyes too and-' Keith felt his face begin to burn as he realized what he was saying, 'Dammit, why am I like this!'

"Okay, are you two all suited up?" Vincent popped his head into Lance's room with his hair styled and everything. He looked stunning for the early morning and managed to distract Keith from the fact he was possibly falling for Lance Mc-fucking-Clain. How ironic since he told himself he'd never fall for such a boy, but here he was, pining over him.

Lance grabbed his phone and nodded as he gave Keith a weird look, "Yeah, we're ready- I think. Right, Keith?"

That name, he wanted to watch it burn in the fiery depths of hell. He just couldn't hear his name come from Lance's mouth without remembering how he had said his name out loud during their kissing practice. "R-Right!" Keith nodded in agreement and felt his cheeks flush red as he tagged along behind Lance, hands in Lance's pocket and the hood of the blue hoodie over his head to hide his face from the world.

The car ride to the church was awkward for Keith as he had a front view seat to spying on Lance and Nyma texting back and forth as Vincent drove them to the church, while rapping horribly out of sync with the music playing on the stereo. Talk about puke worthy texts, Nyma and Lance were totally disgusting. It wasn't even a cute kind of gross just, ew.

Nyma: I bet you're looking so cute today I mean you're the most handsome man in the world in my eyes *kissing face emoji*

Keith wanted to burst out into laughter as he read that, she flirted with another guy at the mall, how could she tell such a blatant lie like that? Keith continued to spy on Lance's texts the entire way until they arrived and had to get out of the vehicle only to see a very surprised Allura staring at Keith from the church lobby.

He had forgotten about the fact he was wearing Lance's clothes today, so he wasn't sure why the senior was looking at him so weirdly until Hunk gasped from behind. "He's not in black!"

Keith felt any sense of happiness he had left inside of him leave as he slouched slightly and let out a despondent sigh. "Oh, he slept over at my place so he had to borrow my clothes, but they're a little big on him..." Lance pointed out as he stuffed his phone into his pocket and pushed his glasses up on his nose and gave a warm smile to his friend.

Hunk looked between the two almost as if he were perplexed by Lance's statement. He pointed at Keith and frowned, "So you slept over," he moved his index finger over to Lance slowly, "his place and didn't kill him in his sleep?"

Keith shrugged slightly, "Well I mean, we had a bonding moment on Wednesday so our rivalry isn't really a thing anymore, to be honest," Keith stated almost pride fully.

Well, he did feel prideful for a moment until Lance laughed and looked down at Keith, "What are you talking about? We never had a bonding moment," He stated with confidence.

What? How could Lance not remember the fact that Keith held him in his arms after he learned he was being bullied? He practically cradled him in his arms! This was so devastating, it felt as if Keith had taken a shot through the heart and Lance was to blame. He gave crushes a bad name. Keith looked at Lance with glossy eyes as he tried not to cry, "I cradled you in my arms!" He exclaimed with that stupid signature voice crack.

Lance laughed slightly as he shook his head, "Nope, no I don't remember it."

What was happening today? It was one thing after another. This was all Keith's fault, wasn't it? If he hadn't suggested that stupid kiss practice then none of this would have ever happened! He would find himself on the verge of tears from the feeling of his heart being torn into a million pieces because of Lance's statement, and he wouldn't have felt the urge to punch the boy in his face for how rude he was being to Keith. Oh, Lance was soooooo not getting any gifts for his birthday now.

Keith scowled and turned away from the two boys as they fell into their own conversations and walked inside to stand next to Allura, before crossing his arms over his chest in anger. Allura looked over at him with her eyebrow raised slightly as she glanced between him and Lance standing outside. "Boy trouble?" She asked in uncertainty.

Keith rolled his eyes and began to grumble about how selfish Lance was, "You help a guy out and he repays you by ignoring the fact that you hugged him when he was upset. How disgusting!" He waved his hands around as Allura listened intently while nodding along.

She held up her index finger and her blue gaze flashed with fiery anger for a brief second, "Disgusting doesn't even manage to describe it; you're looking for despicable!" She announced.

Keith looked at her with wide eyes, it was as if he had just found a diamond in the rarest thing on earth; a person with sense. Keith nodded as he found himself making a weird connection with Allura, "Yes, that's perfect! Lance is so despicable, how can he not remember such an important event in our friendship?" 

Allura grabbed Keith's hands as they began to bond over talking smack about the boys in their lives, "Shiro is the exact same! He totally blew me off this afternoon, and when I tried to talk to him he made up this stupid story about me standing him up at the café on seventh Street?" She began to ramble as her eyebrows danced on her forehead; her blue eyes were glued on Keith's purple gaze.

Keith gasped and leaned forward, "What?! He never struck me as such a douchebag!" He exclaimed, "Boys are so stupid!" He growled.

Allura nodded before she stated, "Totally, why would you make up such stupid lies and not just come out and say you're not interested in us? They're so stupid..." 

There was a slight cough from behind the desk causing the two to jump slightly as they looked up at the very annoyed receptionist that Keith had been having a war with since day one. "So you two aren't even going to listen to their side of the story? You're just going to assume they're not interested?" He asked as he propped his head up with his hand. 

Keith narrowed his eyes on the brunette and gave him a look that said 'Seriously?' "Uh yeah, the hints are totally there," Keith pointed out as Allura nodded along.

The receptionist rolled his eyes, "That tall guy is totally into you," he pointed to Allura and then looked down at Keith with a look of disgust. "The skinny kid out there seems oblivious to everything in the world, so you should just accept that you'll never score maverick."

"Maverick?" Keith let go of Allura's hand and blinked wildly. What the hell did that mean? Was he making fun of Keith's sexuality? "Excuse me but what, or whom, I choose to do in my life is none of your business. Anyways, I bet you're still a virgin and what are you, twenty two?"

Allura sent an alarmed look at Keith as she realized how close he was to jumping over the desk to choke the receptionist. "Keith," Allura placed her hand on Keith's chest and dropped her voice into a softer tone, "He isn't making fun of your life choices, he's just saying you're a loose cannon."

Keith pursed his lips as he felt his cheeks burn up, he was prepared to roll his sleeves up and show a hetero how a gay man takes care of business, but now he just felt stupid. "Oh..." He relaxed slightly and looked away from the glowering receptionist. "Sorry... not really, but kind of- sorta?" He offered with a small shrug of his shoulders.

The receptionist smirked slightly as he lifted a flyer off the desk and held it out to Keith, "I'll only accept it if you take one, cupcake," he winked.

Keith wasn't aware of the flirtatious intent behind those words, but Allura stood there with her jaw hanging in the air and her right eye twitching slightly as she watched Keith take the flyer reluctantly and fold it up. "Whatever," Keith grumbled as the rest of the group including Shiro and Olivia walked inside and began to get ready for the meeting.

Allura glanced between the receptionist and Keith before she slowly tugged on Keith's arm to drag him away from the smiling receptionist. "Why'd he call me cupcake?" He asked Allura as he stumbled after her.

Allura sighed deeply and shook her head as they sat next to each other, as far away from Shiro and Lance as they could get, causing Hunk and Lance to scoot down one seat with confused looks on their faces. Hunk probably thought he did something wrong since he had that anxiety thing, but Keith didn't think much about it as he and Allura sat together. They were bonded together now through the powers of gossip and treachery from boys. 

He crossed his arms over his chest and tried to avoid any eye contact with Lance while he crossed his arms and legs. Allura and Shiro were casting little glances at one another whenever the other wasn't looking, which made Keith mildly annoyed. They clearly liked each other, so perhaps they could clear up this misunderstanding?

Olivia did her stupid little clap thing she did before every meeting and smiled so happily, Keith wanted to lean over and vomit into her Gucci handbag. "So first things first, how did the hang outs go? I sure hope they went absolutely swell!" 

Swell? Who the hell said- suddenly Keith shivered when he had a flashback to the other night when Lance made Keith way too excited downstairs. He told Lance he was quote unquote 'Swell' when Lance tried to help him. He was so stupid. "Hunk and I went to a café; he managed to order his own stuff without my help!" Shiro offered as he gave Hunk a kind smile, making the Samoan boy blush.

Olivia gasped as she once again clapped her hands together, "I am so proud of you Hunk! What was it that helped you get to that point?" She inquired.

Hunk lowered his head and began fidgeting around in his seat in nervousness. "H-Having Shiro there made me feel..." His voice trailed off slightly as he bit his lip. "It made me feel safe enough to try something I normally wouldn't do."

Olivia smiled softly at Hunk as she placed a hand on Shiro's shoulder gently, "I am so happy that you felt safe enough to try something new, Hunk, it's the first step to getting better. And Shiro," she turned her gaze to the boy with the scar, "Did anything happen to you that made you feel better about your condition?"

Shiro became very quiet as he dropped his gaze to the floor and kind of shrugged Olivia's hand off of his shoulder. The group was silent as they awaited the answer that was keeping them on the edge of their seats, but Shiro shook his head quietly making the mood around them become thick with sadness. 

"Well," Olivia sighed slightly as she jotted something down on the little clipboard she had on her lap. "PTSD is something you can't get over easily much like bulimia, cancer, dysthymia, and everything you all suffer from. PTSD has deeper effects on Shiro's mind and body that some of you wouldn't quite understand such as; nightmares that could cause insomnia, paranoia, mistrust, and even hypervigilance."

"But, there are things that we all can connect with him about though, right?" Katie asked as she raised her eyebrow.

Shiro seemed to grow smaller the longer the discussion stayed on him, but Olivia's next words made him look up with surprise. "Yes, even though his PTSD causes him to have symptoms you cannot relate to, there are some that you can relate to such as; anxiety, irritability, unwanted thoughts, and even loss of interest in things you may have once enjoyed."

The group looked around at each other quietly as she listed off things that affected them. Keith felt a strange feeling in his heart as he avoided looking in Lance's direction. He didn't connect with Shiro on a symptom level because he only had cancer. Unlike everyone around him, he could be cured through a few months' worth of chemo or even through a transplant, but they couldn't get a brain transplant and have their once so black and white worlds be given a new sense of color. He was the freak among the six of them and he didn't have a right to be at this meeting.

He was an outcast again.

"Katie, Allura, how was your hang out?" Olivia asked as she tried to steer the group away from Shiro to avoid him becoming anymore uncomfortable.

Katie shrugged slightly, "It was normal, we found out we had some similarities and we made our differences work so it was just a plain old uneventful time."

"That leaves Keith and Lance then, how was it?" Olivia turned her attention to the two boys sitting apart and furrowed her brow a little.

Uneventful was definitely not the word Keith would use to describe their time spent together; they had a bonding moment, they've been trying to catfish someone, they went shopping together, and they even made out and caused Keith to pitch a tent in his pants. The only word he could think of to describe their time together would be 'Eventful'.

"Well if you're asking if we tried to kill each other, no, we're friends now," Lance stated calmly as he sighed slightly from where he sat. He was stretching out his long legs and wiggling his foot around as he tried to avoid going into details about them being together. "I managed to keep down a meal last night, so that's the highlight of the last few days we spent together."

Olivia smiled and made a note, "Do you know what made you feel well enough to keep your food down?" She asked.

That's when Lance got stuck and Keith understood that Lance did not want anyone to know about the whole bathroom thing or even the moment when Lance was crying after seeing Lotor. He didn't want the group to know about the two times Keith was there for him when no one else was. 

Keith cleared his throat and tried to play it cool for Lance, "We didn't really do anything besides watch movies together so maybe he's fixing himself?" 

Olivia stared at Keith for a long moment and made the boy worry that she had seen through his lie for a second, until she shrugged and wrote something else down. "Okay then, new groups are Allura with Keith, Shiro with Katie, and Hunk with Lance. Let's get into the real meeting now," she adjusted her position on the seat and crossed her legs.

Lance looked across the circle and at Keith as he mouthed a 'Thank you' to him. Keith didn't know what Lance was saying since he had never been all that great at reading lips, so he assumed it was an insult and turned away from Lance's tourmaline gaze as he crossed his arms and legs again. He really wanted to leave this circle and never come back. Maybe Lance had an easier time lying about their time spent together, but Keith didn't want to ignore the fact that they had a bonding moment. He didn't want to lie to himself.

"Today we'll be discussing our feelings about our problems and with each meeting we have we'll dig deeper into our doubts and insecurities until we figure out the root cause for all of your problems before we start our journey to the healing process," Olivia stated and looked over at Katie. "Let's start with you then."

This part of the meeting bored Keith to death as he was forced to listen to everyone talk about what they were afraid of and why it scared them. Katie was afraid of learning her real identity because she didn't want to force the people around her to change their views of her so she could be happy. Allura was asked about her school life and what all her hard work she put into it could possibly mean, they all learned that Allura had fears of letting others down when she could do something to make them happier. It was pretty cliché if you asked Keith, but he thought everything was cliché and boring... except Lance of course. He couldn't stay focused during the meeting as he thought back to how it felt to have Lance tug on his hair, how good he felt when he held onto Lance's body as he kissed him all over. He loved the way his name sounded coming from Lance too, the way he said it made Keith feel excited and hungry for more of him. He wanted to see more of Lance, the stuff the boy never showed to anyone else. He wanted to feel Lance's hand tugging at his hair again as he squirmed beneath him as their skin rubbed against each other and he wanted to feel how it meant to be special to someone else. To be loved and cherished, everything he always wanted from someone else, but never had.

He was so lost in his imagination that he didn't even realize the group was staring at him as he awkwardly squirmed about in his seat, trying to not get too excited with his hyperactive mind creating scenes in his head that were a little too dirty to be having while at church. "Keith?" Olivia raised a ginger eyebrow in concern as the boy tensed up and turned bright red in front of everyone.

"S-Sorry," he mumbled and slouched in his seat, the memory of Lance's hot breath on his face still fresh in his memory. "What did you say?"

Olivia sighed and began to tap her pen against the clipboard. "I was talking about how you looked different today; do you know what those rebellious clothes could mean to you? Think hard about this one so we can really dig deep into your emotions and try to get to work on you."

Her wording made things a little worse for Keith's concupiscent mind. He couldn't think straight with the words 'Hard' and 'Deep' hanging out there, he was a very frustrated teen right now and the fact everyone was staring at him was soooooo not helping him in trying to not pitch yet another tent, but in church this time. God, strike him with lightning right now.

"Uh..." Keith started with a shaky voice as he tried to not look at Lance seated across from him doing his little leg thingy he had been doing for a while now. If he looked over at him he would be in one hell of a fight with his mind, "I uh guess, I just erm-" he coughed as his brow began to sweat slightly, "Really like the style!"

Olivia seemed taken back slightly as she frowned and leaned forward, "But what do you suppose it represents about your inner desires and fears, Keith?" She pressed.

His desires? Well if the group were allowed to see into his mind, Lance would so not be seen the same way again by everyone around them. He was a sexually frustrated teen, okay. He didn't know what anything meant and the fact that he was actively dreaming about such impure things with his friend made things so much harder for him; pun not intended. He swallowed down hard as he glanced at Olivia and down at his feet, "F-Fuck you," he said the first thing that came to mind making the group either chuckle quietly, look at him in horror, or just give little sighs of disappointment (that one was from Allura of course).

Lance sat up and looked at Keith with wide eyes, "Keith, you can't just say that!" He exclaimed.

Keith looked up at Lance and couldn't help himself from shouting, "Fuck you too!" He then added a "Literally" under his breath, but not loud enough for anyone to hear him as he jumped out of his seat and excused himself.

Olivia looked around the group, "Any ideas of what that was about?" She asked in bewilderment.

Hunk looked at the counselor and then at the doors Keith stormed out of, "Maybe he just has to pee?"

Keith stumbled into the empty lobby and rushed down the hallway to the bathrooms where he quickly kicked open the door and managed to get to the sink. He was a mess, his face was hot, his cheeks and ears were all red and he had even begun to sweat so much he looked like someone about ready to die from heatstroke. He twisted the handle of the cold water and listened to the liquid as it rushed down the drain, feeling himself relax a little. If he could describe his eyes then it would be a mixture of frustration and lust.

What was even happening to him? He never felt this way before about another person. Sure, he has had some impure thoughts, but never like this where had he actually thought about his friend so sexually. Why couldn't he be straight? He wouldn't have to worry about making Lance into some sort of object in his mind then, but then again he didn't want to forget this feeling he had inside of him when he thought about his friend. 

Keith cupped his hands under the water and began to splash his face with cold water in hopes of cooling himself down quickly before he went back to the group. He was trying to brainstorm ideas of ways to get rid of this frustration he was feeling inside of him without being too obvious, when the toilet behind him flushed and the receptionist stepped out to wash his hands. Surely he was no older than twenty, right?

"How old are you?" Keith asked as he turned off his faucet and dried his face while the receptionist washed his hands next to him.

The receptionist raised his brown eyebrows and slowed down his hands a little bit as he looked down at Keith, "I'm nineteen... why? You interested?" He wiggled his eyebrows slightly.

Now Keith actually caught onto his active flirting and realized something. He leaned against the sink and thought really hard about what he wanted to do next. There were only three surefire ways of calming himself down right now; wait it out, try to fix the issue himself, or he could use the receptionist for his own personal gain. He knew how to make out now after all.

Keith reached up and grabbed the receptionist's bible camp shirt and pulled him down to place a rough kiss against his chapped lips. He didn't get that same fuzzy feeling he would get from being kissed by Lance, but this was fine. Within seconds the two of them were all over each other in the bathroom stall of a church. What the hell did Keith do to get here?

After about ten minutes, Keith emerged from the bathroom with his hoodie unzipped and Lance's shirt on backward. His hair was an absolute mess, but shit, he felt so much better now that he fixed his frustration brought upon him by the thoughts of Lance. He learned the receptionists name was Michael after calling him 'Receptionist' to his face while he and Keith were going at each other.

Who knew giving someone disgusting looks and bible camp pamphlets would be a good way of flirting. Keith could leave this meeting with a whole new perspective of churches that wasn't so holy. He saw the group slowly leaving the church, meaning he had spent his entire time with Michael in the dirty stall riddled with bible verse graffiti around them.

Allura was frowning as she left the meeting room with Shiro next to her as she tried to talk to him; they were both extremely upset about something, but Keith could not think straight as he stared at Lance as the pretty boy waited outside, texting someone on his phone. He couldn't deny the fact he was falling for Lance anymore since the entire time in the men's room he had that spicy Latino in his mind, but he didn't want to ruin their friendship with his own desires.

He decided that Lance and Nyma deserved a chance, so he pushed his feelings aside. "So," Michael fixed his hair as he left the bathroom, "Wednesday? Down for doing that again?" He asked as he bit his lip. 

Keith waved his hand and dismissed the receptionist as he received a text on his phone. He quickly pulled it out and found himself smiling. 

Lance McClain: Hey, do you want to go out to the café with Hunk and I? Allura can come too. 

Keith felt a small flutter in his chest as he began to walk away from Michael, "Sorry buddy, it was a onetime deal."

He wasn't lying because it was true, he really only wanted to see Lance in the way that made his heart run a marathon and his stomach flip over in excitement.

He wanted to be with his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Keith and the receptionist did NOT do the deed in the church because that'd be disrespectful to write about when some of my readers are Christian y'know.
> 
> I'm going to try to post every Saturday/Sunday depending on how school is going so those will be the official posting days (hopefully) So let us just pray that my senior year won't be the hardest thing in my life because I need some peace. Please let me know how you all felt about this chapter and what I should consider changing and/or fix in the future. Have an amazing day :)


	15. Raindrops (Allura)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura thinks about what has been happening between her and Shiro and decides to take action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm doing two posts today because I have two chapters ready and yeah, so the next chapter will be up shortly after this one. Enjoy!

It was all a misunderstanding or at least that's what she had tried to convince Shiro into believing. She couldn't look him in the eyes and see the pain he was feeling without feeling the sickening feeling of guilt wash over her body that she knew all too well; it was her fault after all. She dropped her phone in Mr. Lindon's classroom and so he took advantage of her stupidity and decided to show Allura what he would be willing to do in order to keep her from even befriending people of the opposite gender.

She tried to talk to Shiro all day, but he didn't give her the chance with how he avoided her in every hallway and even tried to leave the meeting without speaking or looking at her. She wanted to crawl over to him and apologize to him on her hands and knees and tell him exactly why she was so hard to get to know and why she 'Stood him up' that morning, but he didn't even let her. He was in so much pain that he could barely even speak or look at her.

What was she doing now? She was at the very café she was supposed to meet Shiro at and have a morning date with him, but instead of smiling and laughing at Shiro's lame dad jokes she was sitting next to a frazzled Korean model and across from two boys talking about their pretty waitress while Allura stared at her reflection in her coffee. She was so pathetic.

"Shay is so gorgeous!" Lance whispered to Hunk as his blue eyes followed Shay the waitress's every move.

She was easily as tall as Shiro with soft brown eyes and a brunette bob styled haircut. She was absolutely gorgeous in Hunk's eyes and Allura could see exactly why; she was funny, her smile was so beautiful and infectious, her laugh was sweet and quiet, and her attitude was just as beautiful as every other feature on her. She was everything Allura wasn't.

Allura continued to keep her gaze locked on the blue eyes staring back at her through the dark liquid in the white cup she held in her hands. "I know, I wish I could talk to her though," Hunk whined as he slouched slightly in his seat and stuffed his chocolate muffin into his mouth out of stress.

"I'm sure you could if you tried, big guy," Lance smiled gently at Hunk and rubbed his back softly as he took a sip from his own coffee.

Keith rolled his eyes and looked down at his tea as he mocked Lance, "I'm sure you could if you tried," he stuck his tongue out as he repeated Lance's words out of spite. He then lifted his hand and pointed at Lance while looking at Hunk, "Don't take advice from this idiot. You could easily fit everything he knows on a paper airplane, okay?" He stated and scrunched his nose up and took a sip from his chamomile tea.

Allura sighed deeply as she tried not to point out that Keith's shirt was still on backwards and that his hoodie was inside out. Some things should be left for others to find out on their own. Lance glared at Keith and stuck his tongue out, "Says the one who can't even put his clothes on right, Timmy."

Allura looked up and raised her eyebrow at Hunk for context clues, but the shy boy shook his head showing that he was just as confused as she was. 'Great,' She thought to herself as she looked back down at her reflection and fought the itching urge to let out another deep sigh. 'I can't go a day without listening to someone yell at me or another person.'

"I thought you said you wouldn't talk about that!" Keith exclaimed as he turned bright red and went to grab Lance's scarf from around his neck and possibly choke him with it. "You jackass!" He shouted.

Allura felt her face grow hot in embarrassment as she took an abnormally long sip from her coffee to hide from the stares of the other customers. Lance smacked Keith's hands away as Hunk lowered his head and tried to bury his face in his food. "Don't touch my scarf, I've got it positioned just right you piece of shit!" He grunted as he pushed Keith's little hands away and tried to fix his scarf. 

Allura wanted to be seated at a different table, one far far away from the two arguing friends who were clearly going through some weird phase in their relationship. Well actually, Allura knew exactly what was going on after what Keith vented to her about in the church. Keith was falling for Lance, but Lance wasn't about to do the same. She wasn't going to say anything about it though since it violated the sister code; Share no sisters' secrets. 

She wasn't about to spill the beans on Keith like some heartless bitch, she'd been hurt enough today by Shiro and Mr. Lindon, she wouldn't be able to handle Keith turning against her too. Maybe she should just stop going to these stupid meetings, they weren't helping her anyways. Her problems weren't something easily fixable; talking about how she feared rejection by society wasn't going to instantly fix her. Some of her demons would never be able to go away with the therapy Olivia could give her, she needed someone or even something better than little the ginger-skittle who was always smiling.

Though, she did actually learn something from that meeting; new knowledge. She learned something about Shiro today that she wouldn't have been able to learn if they had continued having small talk in a library. He was afraid of other people; he expressed his fears of having physical contact with people and had been so open about it as if it wasn't the first time admitting it. He was afraid of allowing people in and Allura knew that if she couldn't correct what Mr. Lindon did to Shiro, than her chances of even being friends with the baseball player was out of the ballpark. 

She frowned as she tightened her grip on the coffee cup and bit her lip. She was just so damn angry at the world for giving her her own personal devil that kept her from living her life. He wore overpriced suits, had the shittiest comb over, had piercing green eyes, and this little laugh that made her want to through her cup across the room. All that he was missing was a little red pitchfork and horns then he'd have the whole package; sadistic personality and all. He tried so hard to show her that she was nothing but an object to him and she believed him, she was barely able to do anything without him knowing. Hell, he was probably watching her now as she sat in the café with three guys all trying to make their own mark on the world.

She hasn't even realized what had happened until Lance grabbed her hand and began to wrap it up with his stupid little scarf. While she had been spacing out she accidentally crushed the fragile cup in her hand and caused the tiny bit of coffee that remained inside to spill out over the table, causing the little porcelain shards to dig into her skin.

"Allura?" Keith looked at her with wide eyes as she stared down at her bleeding hand Lance was wrapping up so gently. She didn't even feel it, she felt numb. The only thing that managed to snap her out of this weird trance was Keith shaking her and Hunk pressing his iced coffee against the thinner part of the scarf in order to soothe the pain she should have been feeling.

"Huh?" She looked up to see Shay holding out a wad of napkins and her little brown eyebrows rose in concern. Allura looked down at the coffee cup and then over at her hand that Lance was holding still for Hunk to chill. "W-What happened?" She asked as she looked over at the set of purple eyes staring at her in a mixture of confusion and concern.

Keith leaned over and took the napkins from Shay before he began to clean up the small drops of blood on the table. "You just spaced out and got this really angry look on your face," He began.

Hunk was too red to finish the model's sentence since Shay was so close to them, "Then you broke the cup in your hands when I was trying to ask you if you needed another refill..." She said quietly. "Do we need to call the hospital? You might need stitches or even-"

Allura shook her head and held her good hand up as she let out a small laugh, "Ahaha, sorry I was just thinking and don't fret, it's nothing serious!" She exclaimed and pulled her injured hand away from Lance and Hunk. She was embarrassed about making a scene like this, having the eyes of everyone on her made her want to shrivel up and hide behind Keith forever.

"Are you sure? I can treat the wound in the back if you want and-" Shay began to fret over Allura, a complete stranger all because of a stupid mistake on the senior's part. 

Allura shook her head and decided to divert the attention away from her by doing a sort of douche move. She smiled at Shay and motioned towards Hunk as she prepared to jump out of the booth and leave the café, "Haaaave you met Hunk? He's an amazing guy!" She said.

Just as she went to slip out of the booth while the waitress's eyes were on a bright red Hunk, Keith reached out and caught hold of her upper arm in a firm grip. She was taken back by how strong he was; she never expected a pampered model like him could ever have such strength hidden away. His black eyebrows were dipped down into a disapproving frown as he stared at Allura with his violet eyes locked on her gaze.

"You're not going anywhere without me," He stated firmly and managed to pull her back in beside him.

Allura struggled for a moment while Hunk tried to form a coherent sentence in order to speak to Shay. She tried prying Keith's hand off of her arm, but with no success, so she slumped down in the seat next to him with her own frown. "If I want to go you shouldn't hold me back, I deserve to be free."

"Save the patriotic speech for when you try to become the first female president, Miss Romero," Keith mocked as he released Allura's arm and relaxed in the seat next to her to glare at Lance as the boy tried to cover something up on his collarbone with his hand. 

Hunk was playing with his little bandana on his head as he tried to speak to the girl of his dreams, "H-Hi, I hope I wasn't uh-" he gulped down air and began to violently cough, causing Shay's eyes to widen in surprise.

Lance slung his arm around Hunk and rubbed his shoulder gently as he kept his other hand placed strategically over something on his body. Allura's curiosity was increasing by the second. "He's just a bit nervous, but if I can tell you one great thing about my best friend here, it's that he's one hell of a cook," Lance winked at Shay and then glanced over and Keith and Allura. His eyes were screaming 'Help' while his smile showed nothing but confidence.

Allura sat up and cleared her throat. "Ah yes," she motioned towards Hunk while Shay gently cleaned up the broken cup. "Not only is he a fantastic cook, but he's also a... an um-" under the table, Allura dug her heel into Keith's foot causing the boy to nearly break his own cup in his hands too as he tried to hide his pain with a smile. 

"He's a wonderful person to talk to; He's got anxiety and sweats a lot but he can hold a woeful conversation!" Keith stated through clenched teeth as he added a small chuckle.

Lance choked on air as Keith finished his sentence and Allura fought the urge to slam her injured hand into the shards of porcelain again. She jumped up and laughed, trying to cover up Keith's mistake before Shay could react. "He means a stupendous conversation, also the whole sweating thing; completely natural!" She punched Keith's shoulder roughly as she smiled tightly. "Right Keith?"

Keith grabbed onto his shoulder instinctively and nodded, "Precision!"

Allura felt like dying at that very moment. Why was he using big words that he clearly didn't know the meaning to? Was he trying to act smart in front of Shay or was there another reason as to why he was acting so stupid? "Precisely," Allura whispered under her breath as she tried to ignore the horror struck eyes that belonged to Hunk seated across from her.

"Precisely!" Keith shouted as he cleared his throat awkwardly.

The table was silent as the four friends quietly prayed for the reaper to come and take them from this café and drag them to the afterlife. However, the awkwardness of the situation was all for nothing as Shay giggled and smiled down at all of them as she placed the broken shards of the cup onto a napkin. "Shiro told me how cool Hunk is, I already know..." She blushed in embarrassment as the table looked at her with jaws dropped.

Hunk was completely lost as he stared at her, "W-When?" He managed to whisper.

Shay's cheeks turned bright red as she looked down at the broken cup on the green napkin. "This morning when I was getting coffee before school. He told me everything about you and I've been meaning to give you this," She quickly dug into her pocket and managed to pull out a slip of paper with numbers on it.

Allura was as shocked as Hunk was, but clearly not for the same reason. She was astonished that Shiro did something so nice for someone he didn't even have to see every day; it was as if he was doing it just out of the goodness of his heart and Allura just couldn't wrap her head around it. She had only known one guy in her entire life that would do something like this and it was her uncle Coran, though the Irish man would've probably done something more dramatic than just telling Shay; he'd probably set up a whole stage play for it.

As Shay handed Hunk her phone number and managed to apologize for embarrassing him, Allura's phone buzzed in the pocket of her shirt making her jump slightly in surprise as she pulled it out and checked it to see that it was Katie.

Katie: 911 at your place, Shiro's car broke down and he's in the auto shop talking to your uncle. Coran's telling him your embarrassing childhood stories.

Allura felt her face slowly beginning to light up on fire as she read over the text again and again. Coran, her uncle who practically raised her, was telling Shiro, the boy she thought was down to earth, her childhood stories. This was bad, so, so bad. "Can I have an order of Shiro's favorite drink and food to go? I have to do something right now!" Allura bursted out as she reached out to take hold of Shay's arm.

Shay blinked at her in confusion before she relaxed slightly, "S-Sure, you're Allura I presume."

Allura raised her eyebrow at Hunk as the tall girl rushed off with the trash and began to fix up Allura's order. "How does she know my name?" Allura inquired.

Hunk was too busy smiling at the number he was holding in his hands that Lance had to answer for her, "Maybe Shiro talked about you to her," He pointed out.

Keith looked over at Allura and seemed to catch onto what she wanted to do as he whipped out his own phone. "I'll call my driver so that you can deliver the order to your knight in shining armor," he said sardonically.

Lance hardened his gaze on the boy, "Keith."

Keith rolled his eyes and glanced at Allura, "Sorry."

Allura managed to smile as she tried to not laugh at how much Lance and Keith's relationship had changed over the week. She had been pulling the little model off of Lance just a few days ago, but now Lance was making Keith apologize for his rude remarks so easily. It was almost as if the two were a couple. A lightbulb went on in Allura's head suddenly as she gasped and looked at where Lance's hand was at on his body then her gaze shifted over to Keith's poorly dressed body.

Those two did something they decided to not share with the group that day; she knew it! "Is something wrong Allura?" Lance asked in concern. "Is your hand hurting?"

Allura decided to choose her next words carefully; she didn't want to expose the two in a way that they would never speak to her again so she needed to be considerate. How about the jealousy tactic? She leaned over and plucked at Keith's shirt he put on backwards, "So I guess you met Michael, cupcake," she stated with a smirk.

Lance blinked in bewilderment as he looked over at Keith and looked at his shirt. "Who's Michael?" He said as he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

Keith froze up halfway through putting his phone away and he gave Allura the dirtiest look she had ever seen in her life. He then looked everywhere but at Lance as a light blush painted his cheeks pink. "No one important, just some guy," he mumbled as he lowered his head in shame.

Lance's lips were tight on his face as he stared at Keith for a long moment before he took a deep breath and forcibly pulled his gaze away from the boy. "Oh, I suppose it isn't important then. Obviously nothing would happen between the two of you since you're guys, but who is this Michael guy again?"

"What do you mean nothing would happen between us?" Keith looked up at Lance with confusion.

Allura felt herself shrinking back into her seat as she watched hell slowly break loose in front of her. Even Hunk was becoming uncomfortable. "I meant that you're two guys, nothing will obviously happen between the two of you because you know," Lance waved his hand towards Keith as he shrugged slightly.

Keith's jaw hung open as he stared at Lance, "Are you telling me you don't know?"

Lance made a weird face at Keith as he uncrossed his arms, "Know what?"

"I'm gay, bro."

Lance let out a dramatic gasp as he stared at Keith. He looked astonished to say the least while Hunk and Allura kept their awkward expressions. "Wh- how, when? We- how was I supposed to know?" Lance began to stutter and then Allura noticed the hickey on his neck and she nearly screamed as she connected the dots together. 

Keith had to have given Lance that. There was no if, than or buts about it. Shay came back and placed Allura's order down in front of her with a sweet smile, "Here it is, black coffee with blueberry scones!" She stated, "On the house." 

"You know, we all knew he was gay Lance," Hunk whispered to the still very surprised boy next to him. 

Lance looked up at Shay and pointed to Keith, "Is this boy right here before your eyes gay?" He asked with a taut expression on his face.

Shay kept her perky smile as she laughed slightly, "He's gay. I read all about it in his recent interview with Cosmopolitan."

Lance gasped and looked at everyone individually before finally stopping at Keith. "How dare you deface my body, such as how you've already done without telling me!? Maybe you would like to get a good long look at my posterior, I mean you've already gotten a look at my breadbasket- I mean how dare you not tell me this!" Lance whined like a little child as he crossed his arms protectively over his chest and turned bright red in embarrassment.

Keith began shoving Allura out of the booth in a hurry, "It was platonic!" Keith shouted.

"Dude," Hunk looked at Keith then at the hickey, "You can't be platonic when you bite someone like that."

Shay seemed to be lost in what was happening as she moved out of the way for Keith and Allura. So that confirmed it, Keith and Lance did some pretty gay stuff together while they were forced to be friends. "Michael's the receptionist by the way," Allura stated nonchalantly as she gathered Shiro's stuff and got shoved out the door by Keith.

She thought that she could faintly hear the distant screaming of Lance, but she was sure that it was probably her imagination since Lance was involved with someone else, surely he couldn't be jealous over Keith involving himself with other people. They left the river walk area and met Jensen out on the street where he reluctantly drove Allura back to her house, finding Shiro sitting on the stairs with a cup of tea in his hands. It had begun to downpour about ten minutes into the drive, so the moment Allura stepped out of the car and into the outside world, her school uniform hugged her skin tightly and her once curly hair became a tangled mess as she stood there in the rain with anxiety creeping up on her from the pits of her stomach.

What was she doing? She brought Shiro his normal order from the cafe, she was supposed to have gone with him for a date that morning in order to give it to him as an apology, but as she stood in the cold rain, staring at the sad boy from across the parking lot, she couldn't bring herself to step forward and take the giant leap she needed in order to take control of her own life. Everything she had been doing had been thoroughly thought through ever since middle school; she was to sign up for only AP classes, she was supposed to be valedictorian, she had to be student council president of the best academy in Texas, she was going to go to Harvard and graduate before getting a career in politics and then she would become the first female president of the United States of America. 

Nowhere in her plans that she had made did she ever account for the shitty life Mr. Lindon would have given her. Thirteen year old her never took into account all the shitty things about this world; she believed that everything would be a smooth ride for her. Her child self-believed that she could make Coran the happiest man on earth and by becoming someone important she could atone for the sins of her past that followed her every step like a dark cloud above her head that threatened to drench her in guilt. She never even thought about having a romantic life because it would just get in the way of her end goal; being the president. She had been so focused on achieving that stupid goal that never once did she ever think that she would need to know how to be a decent human being who could be romantic.

She never took into consideration that she could be spontaneous enough to find that perfect guy and bring him his favorite things from his favorite café in the middle of a storm. She wasn't prepared for what would happen next and she was too cold to even think about what she needed to say to Shiro, the boy she had unintentionally hurt so badly.

She took a shaky step forward and swallowed down her nervousness as butterflies fluttered around in her stomach, "T-Takashi!" She called out against the heavy drumming of the rain on the asphalt around her.

Shiro looked up and his grey eyes widened into a look of pure surprise as he placed the tea cup down on the steps and stood up. He was stuck in place for a long moment as he stared at Allura who was finally standing inside of the garage soaking wet. It was only them two there, meaning Coran was in their home trying to find something to fix Shiro's truck with and that also meant Allura could say anything she wanted without shame.

"Allura?" Shiro stepped down from the steps and cautiously approached her with confusion. "You're dripping wet, aren't you cold?" He asked as he came to a stop in front of her.

"Your favorite," She held up the stuff from the café with a smile so wide that it felt foreign to her. She was feeling so happy in this very moment and she didn't know why. "I'm sorry, sorry for everything I did to you in the past and I'm sorry for any pain I'll cause you in the future," She continued.

Shiro reached out and took the stuff from her slowly as he blinked, "W-What do you mean in the future? You didn't even answer my question yet, are you cold?" He insisted completely ignoring the fact she came from a café an hour away with his favorite meal in tow.

What did she mean about the future? She meant that she was sorry for everything Mr. Lindon would do to Shiro if the jerk saw them with each other. She was sorry for all the pain she would cause him and all the emotional trauma she would put him through. She wanted to let him know that she was sorry for everything, past, present, and future. She was sorry for everything and anything that might hurt him.

She laughed slightly as she smiled up at the boy with the ugly scar she liked so much, "I mean I'm sorry for anything that might hurt you because of me, Takashi," She repeated herself and then looked down at her clothes and began to laugh even more as she motioned to her body. "I'm such a mess, I stood in the rain trying to comprehend what I'm doing here with your favorite order from Café Altea and I just couldn't figure out what to say to you."

"Allura you-" Shiro began to speak as he looked down at her.

Allura shook her head and felt her eyes beginning to burn as the image of Shiro blurred in front of her eyes, "No, don't. I'm a jerk for never meeting you at that café, I'm a jerk for never noticing you at school, I'm such a jerk for not trying to set things right between us earlier and I can't stand the thought of hurting you anymore!" She exclaimed as tears began to fall down her cheeks. She was breaking apart in front of him from the stress of knowing that Mr. Lindon would hurt him somehow in the future and from the pain she was feeling in her chest.

She wanted everything to just stop. She wanted Mr. Lindon to be erased off the earth never to be seen again and she wanted Shiro to feel happy again. She wished she hadn't been born into this world because everything was her fault; from her parent's death, Coran's debt, Shiro's pain, Lindon's failing marriage, and even the fact that she was crying now. It was all her fault. If she disappeared now no one would care, better yet, they would all be better off without her. She was nothing but a failure. A waste of space.

"I wish I hadn't hurt you, seeing you upset makes me want to hide away in a corner and cry until I fade away from existence!" Allura continued as she nearly fell over into Shiro causing him to drop the items Shay had prepared for him. The cold coffee splashed against the ground and covered their shoes in the black liquid as Shiro caught Allura in his hands.

He was at loss for words as he stared down at her with his grey eyes full of a mixture of emotions too hard to explain. He looked so concerned and yet he looked almost fearful as Allura began to cry in front of him, breaking down from everything that had been weighing down on her shoulders. "S-Stop..." He breathed out as he looked down at her, his breathing had quickened in pace, and fear was now showing on his face as his brows raised. "Don't talk like that Allura, I forgive you for everything. I promise I'll never be mad at you again as long as you stop crying and stand up straight again!" His voice trembled slightly as he held the crying girl up by her shoulders.

She wiped her eyes and looked up at his face with the most pitiful expression in the world. "Even if you do promise that, i-it won't stop me from hurting you and I'm frightened that I could p-possibly do more damage to you and I-I would never- never be able to f-forgive myself for that!" 

There was a long silence in the air as Allura trembled in Shiro's hands while tears continued to fall down her cheeks. Then, in one swift motion Shiro pulled her into his chest and held her trembling body in his arms tightly as he squeezed his eyes shut. "There's no way that you could damage something that's already broken, Allura. I'm never going to be okay again, even with therapy and there's nothing you can ever do to me to make my problems worse than what they are. I don't want you to cry because of me, too many people have cried over someone pathetic like me and I don't want you to be added to that list. So please, stop." 

Allura stood perfectly still in his arms as he held onto her tightly, his left hand was on her head keeping her in place while his other hand was on her lower back. It was almost like one of those romance movies where the two characters had a moments shared during a storm together. Her tears had stopped and she found herself slowly embracing Shiro. She had nothing to say to him now and the only thing she could think of was letting him hold her closely.

He wasn't someone she could just simply kiss on the cheek and continue being friends with like nothing happened between them, kind of like Lance and Keith. Shiro was damaged from his past and anything she did with him could hold some sort of long term effect on him. She didn't want to bring up any of his memories of his past, so she did the only thing she could think of and she held him in her arms closely. She could feel his heartbeat against her chest as she buried her face into his neck and closed her eyes. It was so quick, like he was nervous or even elated at the moment. She felt a sense of security like this, in his arms and his heart beating against her chest letting her know he was there. He was so warm too and he smelled like cinnamon.

They slowly pulled away from one another, but they didn't drop their hands off of each other and rather stood there with Allura's hands on his chest and his on her hip and cheek. He then slowly smiled, causing the scar to wrinkle up slightly, "So I heard that you used to try to make a mustache like Coran's on your face with bubbles when you were a kid."

"It was the best damn stache any woman could have."

"I bet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I wasn't entirely sure whether or not this chapter was any good so I'm 100% willing to fix any issues in it that may seem unrealistic or that werent touched on enough. Comment the issues in the comment and I may fix it when I have the time. Thank you!


	16. Space Rangers (Katie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katie deals with her own doubts and insecurities with the help of her brother and Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter starts out pretty serious but it slowly turns into a meme because I got carried away with Katie's chapter but I'm actually totally fine with how it turned out. Don't expect this chapter to be mature because you got the meme siblings.

Life was supposed to be simple. You were born and you go through life living a certain way until you grow old with the one you love before croaking. It was supposed to have its up and downs but overall, life was supposed to be a straightforward type of deal you were forced into.

Not to Katie it wasn't. To her, life was something that confused the hell out of her and made her feel odd, unwanted, and even disconnected from others. How was she supposed to introduce herself to other people? She didn't even know who she was in reality. Sure she told people to call her Katie but that name never felt right.

It always felt foreign to her like her body. She didn't understand anything that happened to her and she was always embarrassed when her time of the month came, it didn't feel natural and she felt like people would make fun of her if they found out that she even had it. Why was this so?

"Katie!" Katie sat up in her bed, her hair a frizzy mess and the side of her face red from being fast asleep all morning.

She looked around her room for a moment as she tried to remember that she was in fact not on a space castle ship thing out in space fighting an entire empire with the support group like how her dream told her. 'Whoa...' She pressed her palm against her forehead as her head swam; the blurriness in her eyes gave her a headache. 'I got up a little too fast there...' She thought to herself as she struggled to find her glasses on the white brown nightstand next to her that had her favorite laptop opened on it showing her what Allura had been looking up on her computer.

Yeah, Katie was a little snake. She installed a program on Allura's computer that would allow her to see everything she did and alert her when she might get a possible virus on the computer; it wasn't used for stalking, just for monitoring the health of Allura's computer so Katie didn't have to constantly fix it.

"Katie!" That voice shouted from down the hall again causing her to jump slightly in her bed as she put her glasses on over her face in order to see her room clearly.

Katie scowled as she managed to hope out of bed and stretch her arms above her head. Her room was full of posters of NASA stuff ranging from the first space shuttle to the most recent pictures of Pluto and the Milky Way. On her desk were all of the tools she used to fix electronics and a bunch of papers stained with Mountain Dew side. She was far from a neat person, her clothes were strewn across the floor and her closet was wide opened to show that she didn't even bother to hang her clothing up. Her own bedtime outfit looked like she was from a trailer park at best; she wore a pair of flannel PJ pants and an oversized T-shirt that read 'Congratulations on another successful 365 days of moving oxygen, carbon dioxide, and other gases to and/or from the blood.'

The mysterious person shouting her name was none other than her older brother who was visiting from college in his old room probably going bananas over his old video games and space shuttle models he wasn't able to take to university. "What Matt?" Katie groaned as she trudged out of her room, shoulders sagging and face full of annoyance.

It was before noon meaning that Matt was violating the unspoken rule of never disturbing Katie before twelve in the afternoon. "I'm dying, come here!" Matt's voice sounded almost like a desperate call for help causing Katie's skin to crawl as she stumbled down the carpeted hall, past the cringe worthy family portraits, and over to the door that had a giant poster of the periodic table of elements on it and those glowy stars covering the wooden door.

She nearly broke down Matt's door out of fear that he could have possibly been having a heart attack or something else that required medical attention but as she stuck her head into his room she was met with a wondrous sight. Matt had his old Darth Vader helmet stuck on his head as he quietly sulked on his bed that had racecar sheets on it. He never had a girlfriend in high school for obvious reasons being that he was a total nerd that probably didn't even know what to do if he saw boobs.

Katie's face brightened up as she tried to hold back her laughter at the sight of her elder brother looking at her with the mask over his head. "What happened to you when you were off at uni? Fall in lava and became evil?" Katie teased her brother as she tapped the top of the plastic helmet earning a grumble of protest for her big brother who gently swatted her hand away.

"No," he slouched on his bed and lifted his head to stare at Katie through the little areas he could see out of, "I found my old Halloween costume from when we were younger and decided to try on my Darth Vader helmet and hopefully get you to wear the cinnamon roll hair clips again to recreate the costume disaster from six years ago."

Katie shivered at the memory of when she was in third grade. For Halloween, matt had the brilliant idea of dressing up as Darth Vader while Katie was Princess Leah the only problem was that they couldn't find the costume for Katie so their mother sewed her one and for her hair they bought cinnamon roll hair clips and pinned them to her head. Needless to say her brother looked freaking amazing but she looked like a walking Cinnabon advertisement. When she said cinnamon roll hair clips, she meant cinnamon roll hair clips that looked like the food attached to her head. Her mother and brother thought it was the funniest thing to see a very angry third grader Katie with two cinnamon rolls attached to her head so they took a photo of her and Matt together holding their space guns. Katie would never wear such a disgraceful thing again in her life even if she had a gun put to her head and had to choose between cinnamon roll hair clips or death.

She pushed Matt away from her causing the man to fall with his back flat on the racecar sheets of his, "Never," She hissed with a blackened expression on her face. 

Matt, though Katie couldn't see his face, probably had a disappointed look to his face as he slowly managed to sit back up. "Fine but at least help get this thing off my head; I want to meet your support group buddy without talking about the empire."

Katie rolled her eyes and placed her hands on either side on Matt's helmet and braced herself for a brutal game of tug-of-war between her and her brother's large head. "Fine, prepare yourself for I, Katie Holt of the Holt household, shall free this damsel in distress!" With all her strength Katie pulled as hard as she could on the helmet and fell backwards while Matt yelped as Darth Vader finally retired.

Katie stumbled into the blue beanbag chair that sat in front of Matt's television and blinked wildly as she tried to regain her composure. She sat with the Vader helmet in her lap and her glasses hanging onto the tip of her nose. Matt was sitting on his bed, his short hair messy from being in the helmet and his glasses nowhere to be seen. He was wearing a button up shirt with a little green fuzzy vest over it and a pair of khaki's. He looked like total chick repellent in his outfit but at least college was working on his face the best it could because now he had no signs of acne and his face was clearer than the sky outside.

"Where are your glasses?" Katie threw the helmet across the room and into her brother's chest.

Matt smiled as he caught Vader's helmet and placed it beside him, "I decided to switch to contacts because girls totally dig the Matt master without his Harry Potter glasses," Matt laughed out loud before he held his arms out for his little sister, "Are you not going to give your big brother a hug? I haven't seen you in months Katie; I want to hold one of the people I love the most in this world!"

Katie couldn't help but smile as she pushed herself to her feet and practically threw herself into her brother's arms. "Shut up you big goof," she laughed. "Also," she pulled away and placed her hands on hips, "How is your meme knowledge? It hasn't fallen since you've been forced to be around other adults right?"

Matt smirked as he slowly stood up and walked over to his TV to lift up a game case he had on the table, "What up space rangers," he began in a playful tone as he spun around on his heels to reveal a new video game in his hands. "It's-a me, ya boi."

Katie gasped as she snatched the game away from her brother's hands, "No way Matt, you have Space Rangers 4: Revenge of the Fifth? This is like a living meme!" Katie yelled as she looked at her brother in excitement, "Did you put it in your Xbox?"

"Oh you bet your little ass I did!" 

"Let's fight the aliens and form bro bonds for the sake of the universe!" Katie shrieked as she and Matt rushed to grab controllers and practically sat on top of each other in the beanbag chair as the Xbox whirred to life to show them the kickass screen of the video game.

To sum up the Space Ranger's franchise; take every jrpg social link based game ever to exist, mix it together with overly shaded characters and backgrounds to create this super unrealistic feel to it, become the next Michael Bay of video games and throw in explosions where explosions shouldn't be, have muscular guys and gals, and add the word bro after every piece of dialogue and you had yourself a Space Rangers game. It was a meme that could never die bro.

The game followed a group of five men and a woman as they became heroes the galaxy never thought it needed until aliens begin to attack planets within their galaxy. The group flies up into space in a larger ship where they train religiously and become best bros with each other, perhaps even falling in love with fellow bros if you decide to make a bro-link involving romance. The group's leader was the most hardass man in the universe and had the only Space Ranger muscle chic falling head over heels with him but you played as the not so very elegant Space Ranger named Leith Lurra. Katie couldn't help but notice how Leith reminded her of Lance a little with how weird he was and also his face nearly matched with the game characters. They were also both Cuban.

By the end of the first game Leith is led to believe that he and his Space Ranger partners saved the universe only to be faced with a new threat in the second game where they lose their leader. By the third game Leith's best bro, Reid Brogane steps up and becomes the lead bro and ends up having many bromance moments with Leith as they try to cope with losing the lead bro. They kick major space ass as the bromance begins to escalate to the point where you would be wasting your time on their bro-link. Stitch Thunderson, the Space Ranger's most intelligent member embarks on his quest to find his long lost brother that had been captured by the aliens terrorizing their galaxy while Chunk McChunk cooks up some mad space cookies. The lead bros girl, Leah Esor finds her tragic anime back story and tries to cope with the fact that the new lead bro is taking over her brofriend's position as lead bro.

At the end of the third game the Space Ranger team manages to fight against the alien king and takes him down but that's where the fourth game picked up at. Katie knew the overview of the game already; the old lead bro, Jynx Orb returns and it creates a major conflict for the Space Ranger team as they try to take on the king's son. She had been itching to get her hands on the game, despite its overly shaded look and extremely unrealistic characters the game was extremely hard to get your hands on because it was in such high demand. Katie was practically squealing as the title menu popped up on the screen to show the Space Ranger crew in front of an explosion, Leith was holding Reid in his arms and for the first time Katie noticed how Reid looked like Keith. It was scary how the characters were all similar to the people at the support group; even Stitch Thunderson the buff dwarf man with brows that only belonged in anime resembled her a bit. 

In the background played the iconic Space Ranger theme song that involved people shouting 'Space Rangers' like the power rangers theme and the 'bro' bass drop really helped this game stand out with its futuristic techno dubstep music.

"Oh dear god I have been waiting to play this game with my bro ever since I bought it," Matt whispered with this starry eyed look in his eyes.

Katie looked at her brother and held her hand up for him to take in his as they stared at each other, "Are you ready for the final chapter, bro?"

Matt slowly nodded his head, "Let's get going, bro."

Then the doorbell rang downstairs and completely ruined their moment causing the siblings to get a bilious expression on their faces. "Who dares disturb our bonding moment?" Matt shouted in an English accent as he and Katie rushed down the stairs to answer the little white door.

As Matt swung it open the front door and revealed a very awkward looking Shiro he let out the most inhuman screech Katie had ever heard leave her brother's mouth as he laid his brown eyes on the taller boy. "Takashi!" He shrieked.

Katie took a step back with wide eyes, she had her right arm held up in front of her in order to brace herself from what was about to happen and she held a horrified look to her face that no words could ever describe. Shiro looked at Matt for a moment before the reserved senior took in a deep breath and let out a shriek much like Matt's.

"Matt!" He shouted and then the two of them gave each other a hug in excitement.

Katie looked between her friend and brother as she tried to process what was going on. "Uh, how do you two know each other?" She asked even though she was frightened of the response she would get.

Matt pointed to Shiro with this gleeful look to his eyes as he began to go off on a tangent about the two of them, "I met him in my junior year of high school at the academy Katie, he was a little freshman and was so lost so took him under my wing and we became amazing friends. Speaking of which," he smiled devilishly at Shiro as he placed his hand on the senior's back, "Have you gotten Allura yet? You've been head over heels for that girl since freshman year; surely you've started dating each other."

Katie found herself slowly smiling in amusement as she relaxed and stared at Shiro. "Oh? You've liked her since freshman year but you've only started talking to her this year? My my young one, you have much to tell my brother," she teased her friend who was now turning bright red in embarrassment.

Matt slapped Shiro's back in disbelief and closed the door, "What!" He exclaimed with an overdramatic gasp, "After two years of me pestering you to talk to her you only started now? Shiro, what the hell is wrong with you? You could have started dating your freshman year if you listened to me!" Matt sounded like a whiney teen boy as he shook his younger friend's shoulders and threw his head back.

Shiro pried his friend off of his body and glared at Matt, "Yeah, I would totally take girl advice from the guy that would dance to Every Time We Touch wearing only his Doctor Who boxers in the locker room."

Matt rolled his eyes, "Oh come on Shiro; what happens in the locker room stays in the locker room that's the locker room rule number one!" He mumbled before slouching, "At least you don't have the video still."

"I do though."

Katie laughed and placed her hand over her mouth as she coyly smiled, "Oh please," she chuckled before a dark expression took over her face, "Show me the video."

Matt turned whiter than the Pillsbury doughboy as he looked at his little sister with an anxious look, "N-Never, I will never show you something like that ever. Why don't we go play Space Rangers already?" He began to rush everyone up the stairs as he tried to change the subject.

"I'll send it to you, don't worry," Shiro winked at Katie as they went into Matt's room and fell into Space Ranger hell where they remained there for at least six hours screaming 'bro' every time the dialogue said it and even dabbing when someone got a gory headshot on an alien.

The fourth game was the most fulfilling out of all of them. Its music was amazing and the graphics were just as unrealistic as ever but the plot really created what Katie would know as the greatest Space Rangers game in all of Space Rangers history. You play as Leith of course as you and your team go out and crush alien skulls for the sake of the universe but Stitch found his brother who happened to be the rebellion's leader and was actually super cool with his space gun that shot lasers. Mick's catchphrase was 'not today, bro'. When Jynx returns he's actually on the enemy's side and tries to convince the team that the empire was only doing what was best for their universe and manages to turn Leah against the team leaving only four Space Rangers and a rebellion to fight back against them. The king's son, Rotol, ends up being this enemy that was even harder than the king to beat but by the end when half of the Space Rangers have been killed and when Leah kills Jynx, Reid and Leith are left on the enemy's home planet. Reid had been severely injured to the point where Leith held him in his arms and told him all about the good they've done to save their universe before he gives him a kiss and the planet blows up. 

Katie and Shiro were left speechless as the kiss scene because to them it looked like Lance and Keith on steroids smooching on screen. They watched as the two bros shed a final tear before the planet blew up and they slowly looked at each other with their jaws practically touching the floor. It was awesome.

"We shouldn't tell them about the game Katie," Shiro whispered as Matt screamed 'bro' with the bass drops of the theme song a few feet away.

Katie bit her lip and fell into a deep thought about what she could do with the information. She could either embarrass the hell out of the two who were obviously either gay or still in the closet or she could save them the embarrassment and keep this secret between her and the two boys in this room. She knew what she had to do.

"Nope!" She shouted as she made a dive for her phone and began to text a picture of the kiss scene to the group chat, "I'm going to show their gayness to the group!" Katie laughed manically as Shiro went to go swipe her phone away only fro Matt to pull him onto the beanbag chair with a serious look in his eyes.

"Don't mess with my little sister," he warned, "bro."

Katie pressed send and jumped up to her feet as she showed the text to a very horrified Shiro. "I have exposed them!" She proclaimed with triumph.

"Katie," Shiro began using his dad voice and he crossed his arms, "That wasn't very mature of you to do."

Matt looked between his sister and Shiro in confusion, "What? Did I miss something really important?" He asked.

Katie showed her phone to him and after a moment of reading it he gasped out loud and began to laugh in hysterics. "Oh my god, I would've sent that too! Also, Leah looked exactly like Allura and Jynx was totally you Shiro, you should watch out of your girl may stab you in your back."

Shiro rolled his eyes and ruffled his hair, "It's just a game Matt, anything that happens in there is fictional so it won't happen in real life."

"Oh but," Katie smirked as she sat down across from Matt and Shiro. "Lance and Keith have already kissed; Hunk told me Keith gave Lance a hickey."

Matt leaned forward and began to press for more details, "Oh my god Katie, where?"

"Riiiiight here," Katie pointed to her collarbone and smirked as Shiro stared at her with a blank expression.

Matt placed his hands on his cheeks and let out a gasp, "Oh god, that means they were making out y'all, do you know what making out leads to? It leads to teen sex and then teen pregnancy!"

Shiro looked at matt with a confused expression before he patted the man's head sympathetically, "They're boys Matt, they won't get pregnant and anyways," Shiro raised one of his thick eyebrows at Katie and leaned forward. "We shouldn't be talking behind our friend's backs Katie."

Katie blew raspberries in Shiro's face as she began mocking him, "We shouldn't talk behind our friend's backs Katie."

"This is kind of off topic guys but I just wanted to ask my little sister this," Matt looked at Katie with warmth in his eyes as a gentle smile painted his face. "Have you decided on the name you wanted to use yet? Mom has been calling me and telling me about how guilty she felt for using Katie instead of a name you felt comfortable with."

Katie sat in front of the boys in silence. She hadn't really been focusing on finding a name she truly liked being called yet. She had been focusing on trying to be like all the other girls at school and trying to be comfortable with the body she was born into without luck; maybe it was time to move on and become the person she really wanted to be? Only one name could become her new identity and she knew exactly what it was but she was afraid of what her friends and family would think if she took this step in her life and began to change her identity as a girl to a boy. 

She fidgeted with her shirt quietly; she wasn't sure how to tell her brother what she wanted just yet so she kept her head low and eyes on the floor. She didn't want to make her brother feel upset about losing his little sister he spent his whole life protecting from bullies at school.

Shiro leaned forward and placed a hand on Katie's head gently before he began to ruffle her hair causing her to spas out and swat his hands away. "We won't judge you Katie, you'll still be matt's younger sibling and you'll still be the group's friend. It doesn't matter what you identify as because your personality will remain the same."

Katie felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment as she looked up at the two boys and finally decided to take the leap she needed to move on in her life. "Pidge. I want to be called Pidge."

Matt was the first one to react as he tackled Pidge to the floor and began to ruffle his hair, "I have a little brother now!" Matt shouted as Pidge began to laugh.

Maybe change wasn't a bad thing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want a reference on how Matt danced to Every Time We Touch then here;  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/BO6B9zZBRD8/
> 
> Hopefully the link works but him dancing is based off of my friend dancing very poorly to the song. She has become a living meme within our group and we always make fun of her for ever making the video but today it came in handy. Don't comment on the post please for obvious reasons but enjoy the terrible dancing lol.
> 
> Leave any criticism in the comments and I'll be sure to read it! Have a great day.


	17. Teen Hormones Hit Hard (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith deals with his confused feeling by talking to the one other person he can trust.

What was even the point of it all if all Keith did was struggle? He was always trying to be something more than what his surname told him what he could be. He didn't want to always be in the spotlight, he wanted to find himself out there in the world and do something totally spontaneous that could help him reach total enlightenment; he wanted to be at peace with himself.

However, as he stared at the reflection of his own face in the mirror, he only saw a pathetic teenager hiding from his problems. His skin was sickly pale and a trail of crimson liquid dribbled down from his nose all the way to his chin where it dripped down into the white sink he leaned over. He only noticed it while he had been doing his online schooling chemistry class, dreading over the heat of fusion questions Lance never helped him out with when his nose began to drip blood all over his keyboard causing him momentary panic as he rushed into the bathroom and leaned over his sink. That was how he got here but it wasn't the nosebleed that was making him rethink his life as he stood there; it was the little yellow spot forming on the whites of his eyes. 

He understood exactly what that stupid little yellow spot meant and he didn't want to admit it. To admit what it meant would mean admitting defeat and he wasn't ready to step down and allow cancer to take over his life again. He was happy again, sort of. He didn't want to lose another piece of him like how he did during the first treatment; he wasn't ready to lose what little control over his life he had left.

"You're not going to fucking lose," He frowned at his reflection and wiped the blood off of his face. 

Ever since the stupid Victoria's Secret fight between Vivian and Marcia, the pain in Keith's abdomen had been constant to the point where he barely took notice to it. He never thought that the sudden pain he felt that day was the first sign of his declining health. At any moment he could fall victim to whatever the hell was growing inside of his liver all because he was too stubborn to admit that he needed to let someone treat him again. He didn't want to feel so helpless. 

He stood up straight and looked himself in the eyes as he held his shoulders up and took a deep breath before he let it out and relaxed. Today he was supposed to show Allura how to let her stress out from all the things that kept her up at night by introducing her to the things Keith did whenever he was in dire need of relaxing and forgetting about reality. 

"Keith!" Vivian's voice sounded as she busted open his bedroom door.

Keith felt his heart skip a beat in his chest out of fear as he whipped open his medicine cabinet and slapped a band aid over his finger as an excuse for why he got blood all over his new computer. He didn't want to worry his little sister by having to sit through another treatment that could possibly take him away from her; she didn't deserve to go through that pain again.

Keith grabbed some tissues and walked into his room like everything was normal. He had a tight smile on his face and his eyebrows were dipped into a small frown as he wiped up his computer, "What do you need? I accidentally chewed my nail too much and it started bleeding so don't mind me!" God, why was he so stupid when he needed to act natural? 

Vivian looked at him with her suspicious coffee colored gaze before she slowly crossed her arms over the pink polo she was wearing from her tennis practice earlier. "Alright then," She said slowly before she raised her eyebrow at Keith in curiosity, "I'm not going to ask what really happened since you're obviously trying to make a terrible lie right now so, how's Lance? Did he like the clothes I bought him?" She inquired as her eyes followed Keith around his room while he desperately searched for his trashcan.

Keith looked on the other side of his bed and furrowed his brows, "I don't know yet, I wasn't concerned in what he thought about the stupid shirt you bought him at the time," he stated in frustration as he checked under his desk and even next to his stupid little dresser.

Vivian continued to watch her older brother roam around his room aimlessly, occasionally glancing at the rumored trashcan inside of the squeaky clean bathroom. "I didn't think that the shirt was stupid, I mean it was the flannel you wore for our shoot the other day; I thought he'd look cute in it," she kicked at the carpeted floor and pursed her lips as she waited for Keith's response.

"Yeah that's nice Viv, how was school?" He asked absentmindedly as he began to become visibly distressed over the fact he couldn't find his stupid trashcan that was in his bathroom.

Vivian pouted as she realized her brother wasn't even listening to her. She was about ready to just leave until she noticed the neatly folded, all too familiar, blue jacket on the end of Keith's bed. She was like a little cat, always letting curiosity get the best of her and this was no different as she hopped over to Keith's made bed and plucked the jacket up from the red sheets.

"My my," she cooed as she twisted around on her heels and held Lance's jacket in the air with her fingertips, "Is this jacket the jacket I think it is? You know, the one that belongs to that smoking hot Cuban guy you slept over with on Friday?" She smirked as she lowered it below her chin and stared at Keith as she finally got a reaction from him.

Keith froze up where he was standing and felt a chill run down his spine. He knew this tone of hers all too well, this was the tone of voice she used when she was about to expose him for being the dirty little gay he was. He spun around on his heels, face red and purple eyes wide and dropped the bloody tissue onto his carpet as he rushed forward to grab for the jacket.

"I think you're mistaken Vivian," he exclaimed as he made a crummy attempt at stealing away Lance's jacket from his nimble sister's hands. "That's actually mine!" He exclaimed as he tried to catch the little blonde girl who kept dancing around his every attempt of grabbing the jacket that was in vain.

When Vivian saw how Keith had dropped the tissue on the carpet she nearly tripped over her own feet in surprise before a large smile painted her face causing her dimples to show themselves. "Oh my god Keith, you dropped trash on your floor!" She shrieked and ducked out of the way of Keith's arms. 

"So fucking what?" Keith nearly managed to grab a hold of his little sister with his next attempt, but the little tennis player was too quick for him. 

She shimmied out of his way showing that she was just toying with the slower boy as this point, "You never leave trash in your room, not even in your trashcan because of your stupid OCD."

Keith froze up in place as he looked over at the tissue and realized what he had just done; he had allowed his sister to let his guard down long enough so that she could figure out why he was being so weird around her. "Oh shit," he whispered as he fought the urge to dive to the ground, grab the tissue, and throw it out in the kitchen so that he could keep his room spotless.

"You," Vivian stood on her tiptoes as she walked her fingers across Keith's shoulder, biting her lip with a coy grin on her face, "Like Lance, don't you?" She whispered.

Keith nearly shoved Vivian away as he felt all of his embarrassment and frustration flow through his body. "What, no!" He shouted and stumbled away from his sister as his face grew hot. 

"Your voice cracked, you're a liar!" Vivian teased.

"I would never like someone like him even if we did kiss once," he then lowered his voice and mumbled under his breath, "well, made out."

Vivian dropped Lance's jacket to the floor and gasped as she stared at Keith in shock, "Y-You made out with him? Keith," She made a weird face as she looked her brother's body up and down, "Did you two have sex? Is that why you stayed the night with him?"

Damn, Keith wished that was the case, but sadly, it wasn't and Keith was actually okay with that, to an extent. "No, I'm not stupid enough to bang my friend without going on a date first, Vivian," he grunted as he picked up the jacket before falling back on the bed to hold it to his chest. He let out a deep breath as he stared at the wall in front of him. "And anyways, he likes Nyma so it shouldn't matter what I th-"

"Who cares about that two-timing bitch right now," Vivian collapsed next to Keith and nudged him with her muscular shoulder as she gave him a stupid little look, "All I care about is that little make out session between you two, sweetie."

"I mean," Keith began to vent to his little sister, "He wanted me to teach him how to kiss so I thought that we could kiss platonically-"

"You're a dumbass," Vivian stated bluntly as she scrunched up her nose and gave Keith a disappointed look. "You can't platonically kiss someone like Lance and not expect to catch feelings for him Keith, he's like this little innocent kid who is too gullible to be left alone."

"Well I thought I could kiss him without catching feelings," Keith groaned and looked down at the jacket he held in his hands with regret in his eyes. "So when we tried to kiss the first time we bumped forehead, so out of annoyance I kind of pulled him into me to kiss him because he didn't know what he was doing and-"

"Oh so you're a Dom?"

"What the fuck, what does that got to do with me kissing my friend and stop being so gross. I'm your brother, not your best friend; I'm not discussing what I like for my sexual life with my little sister!" Keith exclaimed as he gently pushed a giggling Vivian away from him. "Anyways," he continued, "After we kissed he asked what to do if he had to make out with Nyma, tongue and all."

"That's gross," Vivian grimaced at the thought. "At least you got to second base before that bitch."

Keith nodded in agreement before he carried on, "And as I pushed Lance down against his bed and stared down at him I couldn't help but just notice how pretty he was?" He said quietly.

It was true; Lance looked really cute when he was under Keith. His bangs had fallen out of his face and his face was red as he stared at Keith, and for a moment Keith had thought that he had felt his stomach twist into knots as he realized that Lance could just look really cute when he blushed at Keith. His blue eyes had looked too innocent and uncertain as well and it made Keith feel something he hadn't felt before, a feeling deep in his heart that made him want to just smile down at his friend and snuggle him. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy but he tried to ignore it as he carried on with helping his virgin bro.

Vivian smiled quietly next to her brother as she took on a more sympathetic look almost as if she understood what Keith was talking about. "So I showed him how Nyma would hold him if the roles were switched and then I kissed him. The moment he tried to apologize for something stupid I kind of got lost in that stupid feeling inside of me and decided to show him how it was to get to second base."

"You started making out with him, what's the big deal?" Vivian asked as she leaned into Keith and rested her head on his shoulder as she continued to listen to his little story.

Keith blew air out of his nose as he looked down at Lance's jacket in his hands. "I wish it was that simple, but within seconds he was pulling my hair and squirming under me as he kissed me back. I felt so...so out of control as I felt him wriggling around and pull at my hair that I kind of started to kiss the rest of him as I worked my way to his neck. I think I would have gone all the way to we'll, you know, if he hadn't done something so stupid," Keith groaned and placed his head in his hands in shame.

"What happened?"

"He moaned my name in this stupid voice that sounded really fucking nice and I uh," Keith felt his face burn at the memory of his little realization of how he was falling for his friend. "I kind of got really, really turned on by it and popped one and bit him out of terror of what we were doing."

"Oh my god!" Vivian pulled away from him and nearly fell off the bed in horror, "You got a boner? He moaned your name and you bit him? There are so many things wrong with that I can't even choose which one to scream at you for!" She said.

Keith wanted to bang his head against the wall and cry as he realized how stupid it was to get turned on by something as simple as a little moan. Of all the things like the hand pulling or the touch of Lance's hand on his body his chose the sound of Lance saying his name to just pop one to. God, he was so lame. 

"I know!" He whined and threw the jacket next to him as he tried not to cry from embarrassment. "I freaked out on him and he didn't notice how I got a boner nor did he realize he even moaned my name!"

"Wait," Vivian frowned and relaxed slightly next to her brother as she leaned in a little bit with curiosity in her eyes, "You're saying he moaned your name without realizing it?"

"Um, I did just say that didn't I?"

"Damn," Vivian smiled and nodded in approval, "You must be good at showing your friends a good time huh?"

"Whatever," Keith rolled his eyes and began to play with the tips of his bangs, "The next day we went to the support group, but I kept having these stupid thoughts about having Lance to myself and I had to go to the bathroom to cool off but I ended up making out with the receptionist out of frustration. You want to know the best part though?" Keith was actually about to cry. His eyes were watery and he was visibly shaking as he looked over at his sister pathetically, "All I could think about was Lance while I went all out on the receptionist, we almost hit a home run too, but I couldn't because it wasn't with the right person, Vivian!"

Vivian was at loss for words as she stared at her now crying brother, the guy she always admired for being strong willed and unbreakable, as he told her about how he was failing at his romantic life. Keith wiped away tears as they fell from his face, "I can't be with another person without thinking about Lance and the fact that that bitch Nyma is probably making out with my Lance, the guy who actually ripped my heart out of my chest, makes me want to just punch a wall and hole myself up in my room until the day I die!"

The next voice wasn't from the little blonde next to Keith who looked guilty, but rather from the tall girl standing in the doorway of his room with her dark hand wrapped up in a white bandage. "It hurts doesn't it?" Allura asked as she dropped her school bag on the floor as she stared at Keith sympathetically. "It hurts knowing that you can't have something you want, doesn't it?"

Keith sniffled as he looked up at Allura with a blotchy looking face, "Y-Yeah..." He admitted before he rubbed his eyes and tried to stop his little sobs that were making Vivian rub his back in hopes of comforting him.

Allura walked over to them before she sat on the other side of Keith and slowly reached out for his hand to hold in her injured one from Saturday, "Well don't give up on him Keith," she whispered quietly as she rubbed his hand gently with her thumbs. "If you just give up now and let Lance go after the stupid girl his hormones are going nuts for, then you're probably losing the opportunity of your lifetime. Who knows what Lance could give you in your future together; unconditional love, little kisses on your cheeks when you feel sad, hugs for when you're feeling stressed, cuddles for when you feel lonely, and even a family."

"She's right buddy," Vivian smiled gently at her hero and gave him a little half hug, "He might be the one for you, but if you give up now then you're giving Nyma the happiness that belonged to you."

Keith sniffled and looked at the two girls with red eyes, "Really? You guys actually believe that?" He felt so happy at that moment knowing that the blonde girls may actually be right about something in his life full of confusion. "You think I should try to go for Lance?" He asked.

"Shit, if you don't then he's going to get his heart broken by some prissy little bimbo," Vivian snorted.

"That's a bit much," Allura said quietly as she let go of Keith's hand. "But I do agree with your sister, tell Lance how you feel the next time you see him."

"Thanks guys and I know this is off topic but where's Shiro, Allura?" Keith asked as he tried to leave the Lance topic behind them.

Allura sighed as she played with the ends of her skirt, "He's playing some game with Katie called Space Rangers 4: Revenge of the Fifth. It's as stupid as it sounds, trust me, I looked it up."

Keith rolled his eyes and stood up in order to grab the bloody tissue off the floor. "Boys are stupid and overly complicated," He whined before he took a deep breath and walked into his bathroom to drop the tissue into his trashcan. A part of him wanted to fish it out and throw it in the kitchen's trashcan, but he wanted to fix his stupid problems one at a time. This was easier even if it would nag him for the rest of his life.

"Agreed!" The two girls said as they got off the bed.

"Anyone want to smoke some weed?" Keith asked as he went over to a loose tile in his bathroom and pulled it off the wall to reveal a small baggie of some illegal green substances and little rolled up blunts. "Except you Viv, you're not allowed until you're at least twenty six."

"Whatever," Vivian rolled her eyes and began to leave the room, "I got to go do homework anyways."

"I don't think that weed is a very good way to cope with your problems so I will politely decline," Allura stated firmly as she adjusted the tie on her school uniform. God she could be stuck up sometimes.

Keith rolled his eyes and fished out a blunt before putting everything back. "I'll treat myself then, no need to let some lightweight drag me down," he grumbled as he lit it with the lighter on his nightstand he played with sometimes. 

He sat down next to Allura and began to smoke next to the very displeased senior next to him as she tried to scoot away without it being noticeable. "That's a really gross habit, I don't think Lance would like it if he found out," Allura pointed out as she swatted smoke away from her face.

Keith shrugged as he went to go take another hit, "We're not even dating so I don't give a shit, anyways," he placed it on his lips and closed his eyes, "it helps me forget about the-" 

It came in an instant and all at once; the pain. It was the worst thing he had ever felt in his entire life as he dropped the blunt onto the floor causing Allura to pick it up and throw it into a glass of water nearby while Keith clutched the right side of his torso and let out a wail that sounded almost like a dying animal. It was that same feeling from that stupid fight at Victoria's Secret, the one that crippled him to the ground, but this time it was like the pain came back and this time it was on steroids.

It was like he had been shot in his liver as he fell onto the floor and began to cry. Allura was in a panicked as she rushed out of the room to get help, her eyes wider than anything. "Help!" Keith managed to shout out as he rolled over onto his knees and began to pant heavily. There was no way in hell he was going to recover from this episode like how he did two weeks ago. 

Within those few moments of him coughing up little drops of blood into his free hand and the feeling of his father trying to lift him up without success, until Allura and Jensen came to the rescue all he could think about was the smiling face of Lance. It was cheesy, but it was true. Even through this stupid pain that reduced him to a sweaty, crying mess, he wanted to see that bright smile once more. He liked that smile so much, it was his kryptonite.

He didn't want to lose everything again, especially not someone he had just began to fall head of heels for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so school is starting Tuesday for me so updates may not be every week. Follow my tumblr The-KY-Witch to see if I post about there being delays and whatnot. I won't really post much stuff about it unless there is a problem with the update, I mostly just reblog stuff but yup.
> 
> Sorry for the chapter being short, I've just been busy so I didn't really get a chance to make a long chapter as usual :(


	18. Partners in Time (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Nyma take the next step in their relationship but at the expense of another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your weekly update is here so enjoy^^
> 
> (Editing will be done during the weekend, I didn't have time to do it tonight, sorry)

The events of that day had happened so quickly, Lance couldn't even process why he was holding a pink, stuffed animal hippopotamus in his arms as he stood outside of room 101 with an expression on his face that no words could describe. He had been called by a sobbing Vivian on Allura's phone forty five minutes ago informing him that Keith had been rushed to the hospital because he was coughing up blood and crying about pains in his liver. Today had been so amazing, probably the best day of his life until he had picked up the call in the middle of spending time with Nyma. 

Allura was being comforted by Shiro a few feet away while Hunk and Pidge tried to help Vivian as she cried and cried over her brother who was refusing to see anyone but his doctors and well, Lance. Keith's parents were quietly arguing with Keith's doctor in the hallway, Sandra's eyes were red and she held a tissue in her hand as her husband ran his hand across her back to comfort her.

"Sweetie," A hand found its spot in the crook of Lance's neck as a gentle kiss was placed on his pale cheek. It was Nyma of course; she had been there when he got the call so it was only right if she was there to give Lance moral support. "Go talk to him, tell him what he needs to hear and then we'll leave."

But that was the thing; did lance really want to go through that door and see someone as strong as Keith so...so vulnerable and sickly, and to spring the news that Lance had on Keith so suddenly after he was brought to the hospital wouldn't be fair.

If he had to make a choice right now whether to walk in there to face his friend and tell him the secret or not was something Lance could only decide on if he went over the events of that day starting with lunch.

"W-Will you be my girlfriend?" Lance's voice was shaky as he stared into Nyma's bright blue eyes full of excitement.

Nyma smiled as she nodded her head and placed her hands on Lance's cheeks, "Yes!" She shouted and pulled him in for a rough kiss on his lips.

Her friends sitting across from the two of them were not as enthusiastic as Emily's stupid salad fell from her gaping mouth and back down into the plate she got it off of. Bailey had her eyebrows raised nearly right off her face and Louisa looked almost like she was going to be sick. Lance felt his entire face light up on fire as Nyma pulled away with a tiny little frown on her face.

"Your breath smells funky..." She said in a disgusted tone.

Lance clamped his hand over his mouth and looked down at the white table they sat at as he apologized to the beautiful girl. "I'm sorry it's a part of my thing..." He hated going into specifics about the condition he had. He definitely didn't want to tell Nyma about it and talk to her about how he felt about it.

Nyma scrunched her little button nose up and stuck her tongue out, "You should change it, take a breath mint or something sweetie."

His heart dropped all the way to his feet when he heard her statement. Sure he understood bulimia probably wasn't something everyone can work with while being in a relationship, but Lance hoped that she would have been so much nicer about it and tell him that in public, not an area where her friends could giggle at him and cause him to feel so ashamed of himself. He felt like crying for some reason as he sat next to Nyma, it hadn't been more than three seconds into their relationship and she was already pointing out his flaws, maybe next she would tell him that he was the sixth wheel in the support group, that he was just another guy she dated, that Keith didn't even want to be friends with someone as weak as him when he could be on a yacht getting tipsy with some guy. She could tell him that his brother was cuter than him, that he was why his family had so many problems like how his father divorced his mother for someone else all because his son was too repulsive.

All of these things were things that ran through Lance's mind anyways so it would be like hearing his thoughts spoken out loud by his girlfriend. He already knew he was worthless so why did someone have to point it out to him again?

"Hey Lance," Hunk mumbled as he took the empty seat next to Lance and huddled in close, clearly uncomfortable from the people staring at him for sitting with the popular girls and Lance. "We have to hang out, remember? I was thinking that after school we should-"

Nyma placed her hand on Lance's leg as she looked around the skinny boy and at the anxious little guy next to him. "Sorry, but Lance and I are going to have some time alone for private matters tonight. We have a lot of things we have to do together before prom especially like," Nyma smirked as she ran her hand up Lance's leg, "Getting to know each other."

"Oh we can uh- we can," Lance cleared his throat as he tried to ignore Nyma. "We can hang out tonight if you want, stay over my place and then we can go to school to-"

"Sorry, but we're going to be together the entire night, Chuck," Nyma said assertively. Her blue eyes became hard on the boy next to Lance and Lance felt his chest tighten as he looked between his friend who was clearly hurt by this and his girlfriend who was acting strangely possessive. 

He didn't know who to defend. "It's Hunk, not Chuck," Hunk mumbled as he avoided looking at anyone around him, he fiddled with his shirt as he tried to hide his anxiety.

Lance then remembered something Nyma told him a few days ago. She had told him that Hunk liked her so Lance had to draw the line at a point in his and Nyma's relationship when Hunk began to cause issues. He really thought the darker boy was into Shay the waitress, but Nyma would never lie to him, right? They were dating now so they had to be honest with one another.

"I can't hang out with you Hunk, I have to spend time with my girlfriend you know," Lance said dryly. He didn't want to push away his first school friend, but it was what was best for him and Nyma so he had to make sacrifices.

Hunk looked at him with the most painful expression on his face. His brown eyes were glossy with unshed tears and his brows were turned upwards in shock. Lance instantly felt sick to his stomach with guilt as he stared at Hunk with sadness in his blue eyes. He had to keep reminding himself that it was the best thing for him and Nyma. It just had to be.

"O-Okay, I'll hang out with Shiro and Pidge then..." Hunk slowly rose up from the table and paused as he hovered next to Lance almost like he wanted to say something more to the little Cuban below him.

Anything he wanted to say never had the chance to come out because Bailey spoke up before the saddened boy could, "You heard him chubs, beat it before you miss the line for diabetes on a plate, not like you haven't missed a day of it though."

Hunk balled his fingers into a fist and stalked away in resentment as he wiped away stray tears from his face. Lance's wide blue eyes trailed after the boy as he felt like throwing himself over the table to choke Bailey out of spite. "Why the hell did you say that?" Lance exclaimed as he glared at the girl sitting across from him when Hunk disappeared from sight. "He has anxiety and you're not helping his case, Bailey!"

She made an ugly face of distaste as she raised her black brow at Lance, "It's high school Lance, if you can't even keep it together after some playful banter, then you have no need to be here. Better yet, you might as well just die because you're pathetic," She snickered.

He couldn't believe it, how could such a pretty girl be so horrible, no, sadistic. How could she be popular when all she ever does is make others feel unwanted? Lance knew exactly what he should've done, he should've yelled at Bailey. He should've called her a bitch and tell her to stick her irrelevant opinion where the sun don't shine, but instead of being able to do that he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He already knew what it was so he didn't even question it when he felt his stomach beginning to churn so he stood up and began walking towards the bathroom until Nyma caught his arm and glared up at him.

"You're really going to leave your girlfriend alone, Lance? A good boyfriend would sit next to me and make me happy by complimenting my new outfit!" She said with a tight smile on her face, her blue eyes full of annoyance.

Her new outfit? Why the hell would he even give a shit about it when he just hurt his first friend? Everyone in the support group would totally hate him if Hunk told the others and it wasn't like he could just postpone when his body wanted to purge because believe it or not, he rarely controlled it.

He felt his stomach gurgle a bit more before it settled down leaving him no other choice than to sit with Nyma and her shitty friends that made Hunk cry. Lunch was just terrible. He hated every second he had to spend with those preppy bitches and found himself annoyed with how Nyma clung to him like a damn flea on a dog. Why couldn't she just leave him be? He was clearly in distress because of what she made him do to Hunk.

He was just a pathetic piece of garbage today, wasn't he? Nyma went home with him just as they had planned, but as she shopped online for prom dresses she could wear he sat down at his desk and did their homework. He didn't even care at this point, he was just upset about Hunk. The big guy hadn't responded to any of his messages that day and he didn't want to reach out to him in the group chat and risk getting everyone mad at him all over again.

He was frowning about a stupid calculus question when Nyma finally decided to address something. "Keith's gay, right?" She asked suddenly causing Lance to snap the graphite in his mechanical pencil out of nervousness.

He had made sure he wore a jacket that covered his hickey so why was Keith being brought up now? And anyways, Lance was still pissed about Bailey, god he was just all over the place currently. "Uh, yeah, why?" Lance asked as he continued the question without daring to look up at his girlfriend.

Nyma frowned slightly as she looked down at Lance. Her face was full of boredom and frustration as she stared at him doing her homework. "I don't want you to hang out with him anymore then," She stated bluntly though her voice had an icy edge to it like she resented the model for something she hasn't told Lance about yet.

Lance sat up and looked at her as he dropped his pencil on the paper. He threw his hands in the air and began to yell at Nyma rather rudely, "So you want me to just drop all of my friends now because I'm dating you? I can't keep dropping them because I have to see them every freaking week, Nyma! What is your issue with them anyways?" He asked with a deep frown.

Nyma placed her phone down and crossed her arms over her chest as she glared at Lance from across the floor. "Keith might hit on you or even have feelings for you, Lance, I don't want people to sabotage our relationship okay? Am I a bad person for not wanting us to fail as a couple?" She whined, tears threatening to spill from her glossy blue eyes.

Lance felt guilty all over again, but this time for nearly making Nyma cry. He got up and quickly rushed over to the beautiful girl where he gently brought her into a gentle hug and held her close to his chest. "I'm sorry Nyma, but I don't want to keep having to drop people out of my life if you don't make the same sacrifices," he whispered quietly.

Nyma nodded in understanding as she pulled away from Lance and sniffled. Her face was red but thankfully she hadn't allowed herself to cry in Lance's room. "Who does it have to be?" She asked.

"Bailey, she's a giant bitch and I hate knowing you're friends with such a gross person," Lance replied firmly as he placed his hand on Nyma's puffy cheeks.

The girl nodded again, "She is a bitch, isn't she?" She then sighed deeply and stared into Lance's eyes for a long moment. "Now that we've got that out of the way, you're going to be my prom date right?" She asked as she batted her eyelashes.

The fake tears didn't even have to be used to prove to Nyma that Lance was total putty in her hands. She could get him to do anything as long as she agreed to stupid terms he made up. Lance found himself blushing as he stared at his girlfriend. Was he really going to be taking the girl to prom in three weeks? He still couldn't even believe that she liked someone as gross as him, but he was excited knowing that he got to bring the most popular girl to school, that's a total win.

"Only if you want me to," Lance gave Nyma a small, shy smile as he felt his cheeks burn up the longer he stared at her.

God, she was just drop dead gorgeous. She was wearing a white split sleeve shirt with a pair of teal colored jeans and her hair was pinned back. She never ceased to dazzle Lance and he loved that. 

"Well, why wouldn't I? Maybe if we won prom king and queen then I would give you a special treat..." She bit her lip and began to pull Lance in closer. Lances body began to tense up as she stopped right in front of his lips, "Maybe I'll give you a little taste of it right now?"

Lance was about to laugh and turn down her offer of getting to second base with her, but he didn't even get the chance as she pushed him down and began to kiss him.

He was uh, terrified, to say the least. The practice session with Keith hadn't prepared him to be the sub; he had been trying to learn how to be Keith in this situation. He didn't know where to put his hands on Nyma as she allowed hers to wander about his body making him nearly bite her several times out of surprise and inexperience. There was only one option for him in this situation and though he didn't take pride in doing what he did, there was no other choice. He imagined that Nyma was Keith on top of him and as he closed his eyes he tried to remember what Keith told him to do. He remembered how he placed a hand into his stupid little mullet and the other on his lower back, but because of the size difference of Nyma and Keith he placed his hand on her rear by mistake and felt his face become red hot as she giggled.

He prayed Keith would forgive him for imagining getting to second base with him while he made out with his girlfriend. Just like last time, he got a little too into it and nearly said Keith's name instead of hers, but he was saved by the ringing of his phone.

Nyma stopped what she was doing and looked up at him phone with messy hair. "Who the hell is Allura?" She hissed as her eye twitched slightly. 

Lance knew he had fucked up right then, so he pulled Nyma back down to kiss her neck as he slid her shirt off and dropped it on the floor. "She's no one, ignore her. Just another person from my church group," he said breathlessly as he kissed her skin, still imagining Keith for some screwed up reason and allowed the phone to ring three more times as Allura continued to keep calling him.

There was a knock at Lance's door that caused the two hormonal teens to fall off his bed in a scramble for Nyma's shirt and barely managed to get it on when Vincent stepped into the room with a serious look on his face. "Lance," he looked straight at the messy bed before he realized that Lance and Nyma were on the ground with messy hair. His face was full of disappointment as he glared down at Lance. "Pick up your god damn phone next time. We're going to the hospital, get up!"

"What? You can't just barge in here and tell me that without elaborating, Vincent!" Lance exclaimed as he grabbed his phone and found that Shiro, Pidge, and even Hunk had texted him multiple times and that even Vivian had called him.

He knew at that moment that something bad must have happened because one person's name was missing from that list. He hadn't wasted time getting off that floor to rush down to Vincent's car with a frustrated Nyma close behind.

And that was how he got here, here being in front of Keith's hospital room door with a giant hippo plushie he bought on the way there. He knew what he had to do now and he took a slowly step forward before he opened the door with a shaky hand. Anxiety made his chest feel tight as he peeked inside and saw a curtain separating Keith's bed from his eyes.

"Please go in there and just talk to him," Vivian whimpered as Hunk held her in his arms, "He won't see anyone until you go in there so just hurry up damnit!" She raised her voice and slammed her foot down as she started to become infuriated with Lance.

Lance didn't need a reminder to not mess with the girl so he slipped in and closed the door behind him gently. The only noise inside was a heart monitor beeping with each beat of Keith's heart and the occasional cough from the teen boy. Though he couldn't actually see Keith, Lance could see his shadow against the green curtain separating the two of them. He was sitting up with a slouch as he stared down at something in his lap. He seemed so alienated from the world, so alone and vulnerable that it almost didn't seem right for Lance to just stand there staring at Keith's shadow. He took a deep breath and stepped around it to see Keith staring down at his phone opened to Lance's texts with something in his text box his hadn't yet sent.

Out of nowhere Lance raised the giant hippo above his face and started speaking in a weird voice, "Howdy partner, it's me," Lance spoke with a stupid cowboy accent before he peeked over the hippo's head to see an extremely pale looking Keith staring up at him with eyes full of astonishment and awe. "Lancelot," Lance finished as he held the stuffed animal out to Keith who quickly locked his phone and tossed it onto the couch nearby.

Keith wrapped his arms around the stuffed animal and hugged it tightly as he smiled so brightly. For a moment Lance thought that maybe it hadn't been weird for him to substitute Nyma for Keith like he had done before. "Thank you so much Lance, I love it!" Keith laughed and cuddled the stuffed animal.

Lance felt his face burn up in embarrassment as he looked away from his friend and covered his blush with his hand. "N-No problem," He managed to mumble as he snuck a glance at the boy who was still hugging his hippo tightly.

Keith finally invited Lance to sit on the bed with him by gently patting the empty spot on the bed in front of him. "They're all worried aren't they?" He asked quietly as he hid his face behind the pink hippo.

Lance assumed he was talking about his family and friends so he told the truth, "Why wouldn't they be, Keith? You can't expect no one to care when you get rushed to the ER because of liver pains. You have people who care now so-"

"I don't care," Keith cut him off as he held the hippo closer to his body. His purple eyes became watery as he continued, "I don't care if they came here Lance, because if they actually cared they would've came in here against my wishes. They only care about my public identity."

What was he talking about? Lance felt himself becoming confused as he stared at Keith, but it didn't last for long when he noticed something. Keith looked like a child who was lost in a giant store with no idea where his parents were. He seemed so afraid and hopeless, his eyes screamed for help, but he only pushed people away with his words as he tried to protect himself from getting hurt. He was so afraid and now Lance finally noticed it. He may have said that he did all those rebellious things to live life on the edge, but he did it because he was afraid, wasn't he?

Lance did the unspeakable and reached out to grab onto Keith's hand gently. The purple eyed boy flinched as Lance slowly pulled him into a hug with the hippo between them, of course. "Shut up, you drama queen, they're still out there because they respect your choices and they all called me so you could see me. If they didn't care about your feelings they would've busted that door down before I even got here."

Keith sniffled as he trembled in Lance's kind of arms; the hippo was between them so it was just kind of hard for Lance to reach around it you know. "I have to tell you something Lance, I have to tell you because I may not have another chance to tell you and if I lose my chance I'll never forgive myself."

"Me first, Keith," Lance pulled away from Keith, but kept Keith's hand in his. When Keith shakily nodded for Lance to say his news Lance rubbed the back of Keith's hand with his thumb as he lowered his gaze. "Nyma and I are dating now, so I can't see you as much anymore," He whispered. "I didn't want to tell you this way but I probably won't be able to talk to you much after this visit."

Keith dropped the hippo and allowed it to tumble off the bed and down onto the white tiled floor in a soft little thud. His purple eyes were full of pain and misery as he allowed his tears to begin falling down his cheeks. He ripped his hand away from Lance and crossed his arms over his chest as he tried to calm himself down.

Lance, being the concerned friend he was, leaned over and picked up the hippo as he tried to figure out why Keith was suddenly so upset. "W-We can still be friends Keith. I'll tell her that she has to be lenient with you because we're best friends so-"

"I might die, Lance," Keith breathed out through his tears. His eyes were blank; they were completely devoid of any emotion as he sat there staring at the pink hippo with its tongue sticking out that Lance held out to him. "I might fucking die because they did a drug test on me."

Lance set the hippo down and stood above Keith with a confused look on his face, "What does that have to do with your life?" Lance asked the boy.

Keith wiped at his face with his hands and pulled the hippo back into his arms. "I need a liver transplant or I'm going to die because I never went to the hospital when the stupid tumor burst. Thanks to me being a stubborn idiot, I'm probably going to kick the fucking bucket any day now because they won't give a drug user an organ transplant in case of rejection or mistreatment."

Lance felt almost as if he were about to fall to his knees in grief as he stared down at Keith. All this time he had been suffering and all they did was fight for half of it and they barely spent any time together. Lance was devastated and yet so angry with the news. He was upset that Keith could die but he was pissed by the fact that Keith had drugs in his system.

"Why did you smoke weed?" Lance asked with a shaky voice. "Why didn't you just leave it be and not touch it Keith? If you would have stayed clean you'd get a liver, but now your-"

"Shut up Lance, don't act like you have the most perfect life ever. I smoked it because it helped numb the pain and take my mind off the things in life that made me feel insignificant," Keith glared at Lance and clutched the hippo tightly. "If I would have known this was going to happen then I wouldn't have smoked. Believe me; I'd love nothing more than to live."

"Is this what you had to tell me Keith?" Lance choked out as he held back his tears. He felt so dizzy from everything that had been happening today. He lost Hunk and now he was probably going to lose Keith forever. He didn't want to suffer any more in life; he wanted a break from it all. "Is this why you wanted to talk to me?"

Keith was silent for a moment before he slowly shook his head. "No, I wanted to tell you something that has been causing me problems, but I wouldn't want to keep your girlfriend waiting." He practically spat at Lance bitterly.

Lance didn't need to be told twice, he knew that he was no longer welcomed inside of the room with Keith and so he didn't even bother saying goodbye as he left. Keith quietly sat in his bed, holding the hippopotamus stuffed animal as he began to quietly cry to himself. He wanted to tell Lance everything, but what was the point when the boy's heart belonged to someone else? Keith lost to Nyma and he wasn't going to ruin Lance's happiness.

At least one of them could be happy. He laid back in his bed and cried into the fluffy fabric of the hippo as the sounds of his heartbeat picking up slightly lulled him to sleep.

It was probably best this way anyways; Keith probably wouldn't live till next month unless he got the transplant he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance was a bit out of character and I realize that but sometimes it happens. If it is a major problem I'll gladly rewrite this part so just let me know.
> 
> The hippo's name is Mr. Bubbles by the way so let us appreciate Mr. Bubbles the pink hippo who has his tongue sticking out. I don't know, I just really liked the idea of having a hippo with a country accent I apologize.
> 
> Have an amazing day/night ♥


	19. Does Life Have Miracles? (Keith and Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and friends listen to the options for his treatment as he begins to think about has his life has changed since he was a child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, since I won't be writing or even be on social media this weekend or next (I'm spending time with friends and then going to comic con next week) I'll be posting this chapter early. I apologize for the grammar mistakes and I'll probably getting around to editing this entire story in October. Also, Pidge will go by male pronouns from this point on!
> 
> Please enjoy :)

Keith stared at his phone as he cuddled with the giant hippo under his blankets quietly, reading and rereading the text he never sent to Lance.

Keith: Lance, I have to confess this to you or I'll never be able to get over it. I like you, not as a friend but as something more.

"So stupid," Keith mumbled to himself as he deleted the draft in his messages. He was so stupid for ever thinking he had a chance with that idiot. He was simple minded for thinking anything could ever go his way. "I wish I never even met him then I wouldn't be in so much pain..."

He thought that if he managed to tell Lance how he felt then he would have a chance at happiness. He really thought when Lance came in with the hippo and stupid country accent that he was about to do the right thing. He thought that if he got to confess to Lance while they were holding hands that everything would be okay and that it would keep him from thinking about how shitty his life was currently. He was stupid, so, so stupid for ever thinking that and now he knew that for sure because Nyma stole Lance's heart. That sleazy jerk who would probably break Lance's heart managed to steal away Keith's chance at happiness. Maybe it was all for the best though, he did get the adorable stuffed animal hippo he slept with all night.

He loved it so much, it was as big as his torso, it had two pastel blue eyes with a little pink tongue sticking out of its mouth and it was so fluffy and warm. It made him feel better just being able to hold it close to his chest and breath in the lingering scent of Lance. He pursed his lips as he played with the hippo's little legs, flopping them around to simulate a wave as he thought of that stupid country accent Lance had used before.

He named the hippo of course, why wouldn't he? He named it Laney originally but Vivian thought it was such a lame name so he renamed it to Mr. Bubbles. It wasn't a manly name but neither was Laney so Keith decided to just roll with it anyways.

"What's this do, bro?" Pidge asked as he poked at Keith's IV scaring the poor kid half to death.

Pidge, Shiro, and Allura had decided to spend the night in the hospital so that Keith's family could get rest and talk about what they were going to do about Keith's problem. If you were wondering why Pidge was saying bro then here's a little extra information; Pidge sent the group a picture of two video game characters that looked like the handsome squidward versions of Keith and Lance kissing and ever since then Pidge thought saying bro around Keith was the best thing.

Keith sat up and swatted Pidge's hand away with annoyance, "That's my IV line, don't touch it you pest," He growled.

"Be nice Keith," Shiro scolded as he sat next to Allura holding his cup of coffee he had bought though Keith had a strong feeling it was probably an alcoholic beverage since Shiro was on dad duty all night keeping Keith and Pidge from annoying one another. "And Pidge, don't touch anything that is attached to Keith in anyway," He added.  
Pidge slouched slightly as he allowed his arms to hang down limply, "We've been here for the entire night, I have to find some way to keep myself entertained that doesn't involve bugging Keith's phone to read his texts," he raised his little brown brows as a sly look crossed his face, "Rawr," he did a little hand movement to mimic a cat clawing at the air and Keith's face turned bright red in realization that he saw Raven's texts to him.

Keith threw his phone at the little gremlin, "Why are you torturing me!" He shouted, "Now that you're identifying as a guy I can hit you without regretting it later!"  
Allura glared up from her book and snapped it shut causing a loud echoing noise to silence the room. Her blonde eyebrows were dipped into a deep frown and her face screamed murder as she stared at Keith causing shivers to run down his spine. "You are to not hit anybody. It doesn't matter if Pidge identifies as a boy now because violence is a sign of immaturity and peace should be your first choice. Always," She said firmly.

Keith felt like he just got scolded by the mother he never had. "Peace?" Keith scrunched up his nose in annoyance and crossed his arms over his chest in a pout. "I'll show some peace when I get a new liver!" Keith shouted in anger.

"Dude," Pidge stared at Keith with a disappointed face.

Shiro frowned and picked up Keith's phone that had clattered across the floor. He stared at it for a long moment before he held it out for Keith with a gentle smile on his face. He looked like an omen from god; his presence calmed Keith and gave him a sense of security like Lance had given him when he came with Mr. Bubbles yesterday.  
"Keith," Shiro began with a soft tone, his eyebrows were turned upwards in a sympathetic expression and continued, "I know that you're feeling hopeless right now but I believe you'll get the liver you need. You've just got to believe you'll get it as well and get yourself out of the pessimistic state your condition has forced you into."

Keith continued to pout as he stared up at Shiro, how could he think like an optimist when all that currently plagued his mind was Lance's stupid news and the problems he ignored that landed him in the hospital with a midget who would stop touching the medical equipment, an honor roll student who didn't think much about anything other than politics, and a guy who acted like a total dad. "You don't know a thing about me," Keith grumbled.

Shiro set the phone down on the bed and placed his hand on the top of Keith's head before he fluffed out Keith's stupid mullet. "I don't have to know you personally to know that you're going to be just fine Keith."  
Somehow Shiro's words were enough for Keith to forget about all the bad stuff that had been happening, even if it was just for a few seconds. Keith lowered his arms from his chest and began to pick at the thin sheets quietly as his thick brows dipped down slightly. "Maybe, I mean only a miracle could actually save me now..."

Pidge smirked as he looked at Keith from behind his phone screen, "Maybe only a miracle like Lance kissing you could save you," he snickered and began to point at Keith with both hands, "Right?"

"Pidge, tell me more about this GameCube thing you were talking about last night," Allura crossed her legs and leaned forward to tug on the short kid's green sweatshirt in order to force Pidge to sit down. "Also, tell me about the game where you're in that big house with the guns and people."

"You're talking about Resident Evil," Pidge started to gush about the infamous zombie game with eyes sparkling in excitement, "That was one of the first zombie games and let me tell you about sandwiches Allura."

Keith and Shiro felt bad as Allura's face dropped into a look of despair while Pidge babbled on and on about the evolution of Resident Evil and the gaming consoles. Even if Allura had shut down the whole Lance thing that Pidge brought up Shiro was still giving Keith that 'what-are-you-up-to' look of his. Keith found his face beginning to burn in shame as he realized Shiro was not going to just let something like this slide. "Pidge, don't tease Keith about his crushes," Shiro yawned as he stretched his arms above his head and winked casually at Keith.

Keith felt his chest warm up with the knowledge that everyone in this room had his back and even if Pidge poked fun at him, even Pidge wouldn't go around gushing about Keith's personal life. He smiled as he stared up at Shiro fondly, "Thanks," He stated with a relieved expression.

The door to Keith's room swung open as his doctor walked in with her ashy brown hair hanging over her shoulders like a waterfall that stood out against the teal blouse she tucked neatly into her pencil skirt. "Good morning Keith," Doctor Ari's eyes flicked up from the patient chart she held in her hands and landed on the three non-cancer patients smiling at her sheepishly, "and company," She dipped her head slightly in a greeting before her almond shaped eyes squinted slightly to focus on the chart again.  
"Ari," Keith greeted his doctor with her first name. They had grown close over the time he spent in this hospital when he first learned he had cancer. He loved his doctor because she didn't suck up to him, sugarcoat things for him, and she didn't give him special treatment other patients wouldn't be allowed to have simply because of his family name or job. She was someone he could trust. "How close to death am I?" Keith asked with a wider smile on his face.

Allura's face drained of its color as she stared at Keith in horror, "Keith, don't say things like-"

Ari shrugged and fixed her lab coat nonchalantly, "Pretty damn close if I do say so myself kiddo," She stated causing Keith's friend's jaws to drop in shock at her bedside manners. She flipped through Keith's patient chart and furrowed her brow slightly as she told him exactly what was up with his health at the moment. "Originally you only had a hepatic adenoma so we gave you the medications you absolutely needed and gave you some very strict rules that you had to abide by, or rather you should have because if you had listened to me then you wouldn't be in this situation," She stated firmly as she took out her pen and gently jabbed Keith's right side causing him to flinch in pain. "See that? That's what happens when you don't listen to the specialist honey; also you get jaundice like you got in your right eye there but I'm not going to poke that."

"Your bedside manner is quite..." Allura gulped slightly as doctor Ari met her blue gaze from across the bed in curiosity. "Something," She finished when Shiro and her exchanged a look together all the while Pidge was practically on top of Keith watching everything that doctor Ari did to him.

Ari nodded in agreement as she looked at Pidge with a weird expression on her face as the little twerp tried to take a peek at Keith's patient chart Ari held away from him. "Yes, it isn't the best but who cares as long as I get him the best treatment I can, right?" She inquired before flicking Pidge's little nose with the tip of her pen in annoyance causing the brunette to back of slightly as he covered his nose with a tight little frown upon his face. "Anyways back to you Keith," Ari took a deep breath and went back to her chart, "Since your family chose to not risk anything with a surgical removal of the hepatic adenoma you were advised to take your medication to keep it from rupturing; which it did. Since you chose to deal with the pain of the rupture which is honestly bewildering," She looked down at Keith to meet his purple eyes as she waved her hand around with wide eyes. "I mean who does that except for a crazy man who wants the sweet embrace of death?"

"Did you just say 'the sweet embrace of death' to a dying patient?" Shiro chimed in as he held his index finger up in confusion.

Ari ignored him and continued to make Keith feel bad for causing so much concern, "Simply because of this you developed jaundice, bleeding esophageal varices, and your newest cancer; hepatocellular carcinoma which is actually quite common and only later into the disease does it spread."

"So he doesn't need to get a full liver transplant then?" Pidge asked as he stood at the side of Keith's bed with his arms crossed and brows furrowed as he slid deep into thought. Keith sat in the middle of doctor Ari and his younger friend with Mr. Bubbles in his little arms as he buried his face into it with a distant expression on his face. "You said that only later does it spread to other parts of his liver right? The esophageal varices only developed after the rupture right? If that's what his problems are for now then couldn't you nip this in the bud right now and take out the piece that's infects and replace it with a new one perhaps from a live donor?"

No one in the room understood a single word that doctor Ari and Pidge began exchanging back and forth as they discussed the course of action that the surgeons could take in order to help Keith. Sure Keith was thankful for Pidge caring so much about him even though they barely knew each other but he couldn't help but feel a selfish thought cross his mind for only a moment; could he refuse the treatment and just be spared from all the chaos in his life. He wouldn't have to keep up an image for the public; he could leave and abandon the problems that were tearing him apart like the whole Lance thing. He wanted to have peace for the first time in years. All through his life he suffered from abandonment issues and commitment problems all because of his birth parents. His mother abandoned him and his father so Keith's dad was forced to raised him until he was seven, he took off just like his mother when things began to get tough financially and left Keith to try to take care of himself all alone. Social services picked him up weeks later when his teachers began to notice signs of abuse and neglect from Keith, he was given to the Kogane family not that long afterwards on October 23; his birthday.

Ever since then he learned he couldn't trust anyone and started to label the people he met at school weird names and he even did it with his new family. Sandra never saw him as her own child but rather a little cash cow that could earn her big bucks if she got him into the spotlight at a young age which she did and by doing so it only continued to harm Keith's social abilities and emotional state. The only person he ever allowed to get close to him was his little sister Vivian who also suffered from the neglect that the Kogane parents showed towards their kids. Only until after he started going to the support group meeting did he find himself wishing for someone to be by. Only because of Lance did he feel the need to actually call people by their real names rather than horrible nicknames like 'daddy issues' or even 'skank of the century' and being diagnosed with cancer made him push people even further away.

Was it selfish for him to want to be spared the trouble of having his heart being torn up into tiny little pieces every time he saw Lance with Nyma? He didn't want to see Lance smile with anyone other than him and the thought alone pained him to think about being without him. "What if I don't want the treatment?" Keith said out loud causing the room to fall into a deafening silence. He looked up and nearly dropped Mr. Bubbles as he stared at his doctor with this desperate look in his eyes that was almost animalistic, "I mean maybe it's a sign that I got this again?" He slowly dragged his right hand across the white sheet to stare down at his palm.

There was a saying that went along the lines of this; 'You can tell a lot about a person by their hands.' What did Keith's say to the strangers around him? Did it say or give away all of the pain he's been through all his life; the abuse, the alienation, and even the emotional trauma? He wished he could know what those palms of his told the world around him he had spent so long pushing away.

"Keith," Shiro said in worry, "Would you listen to yourself? You, the guy who thinks god is just this lie people listen to in order to feel a sense of security, are saying that there's this higher power at play in your life. Can't you see the irony in this?" His grey eyes flicked around the room for someone else to speak up, his scar became wrinkled as he scrunched up his nose.

Allura dropped her gaze to her lap as she avoided all eye contact with Shiro. Maybe Keith wasn't the only one in this room that was having second thoughts about even fighting to be in this world. Ari clenched her jaw slightly as she lowered the patient chart, "You're not old enough to refuse any sort of treatment since you're still only seventeen. You're parents or guardians must give me the consent but even so if you died your parents could be charged with neglect and your sister could be taken from them. Keith, I highly suggest that you-"

"Okay," Keith slowly nodded his head as he shut down the argument. He began to pick at Mr. Bubble's fluffy fur nervously, "What is the treatment option that you believe to be best for me then?" He asked as he kept his head low.

He couldn't believe that he had just openly admitted that he didn't want to continue living just because of selfish reasons that could easily be fixed if he would just stop running from it all. God, what the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just be a normal person and fix his issues like any other person would do?  
"A full liver transplant is the one option we would like to explore more to make sure that you won't have any more issues with cancer in adulthood. Since you have jaundice already, we don't want to keep that old liver in you anymore."

He needed someone next to him to hold his hand right now and tell him that everything was okay. He needed lance here to comfort him just like he did when Lance was bent over the toilet at the mall crying at he threw up. He needed someone to be let into his life, to be able to help him with the things that the doctors couldn't replace.  
"You're just lucky that the cannabis you smoked managed to slow the growth of cancer cells," Ari placed her hand on top of Keith's head and ruffled his hair gently as the tiniest smile formed on her lips. "I know you like jumping to conclusions so I wanted to give you the news myself; just because we did a drug test on you and marijuana showed up on it, it doesn't take you off the transplant list."

Keith felt a weight lift off his shoulders suddenly as he found his vision becoming blurry with tears. "I'm not off the list?" He asked the woman standing above him. He felt so happy, so relieved, so many emotions at once that he forgot about ever telling Lance that he wouldn't get a new liver. All of the previous day's events were nothing but a blurred and obscured memory of the past that didn't matter anymore because he was so happy.

Ari shook her head, "You're actually in the top forty Keith, congratulations kiddo."

Keith couldn't even get out the words he wanted to say before Allura jumped out of her seat dropping her book on the floor as she threw her arms around Keith in joy. Before long Keith had Pidge on his bed hugging him from behind while Shiro held all of them in his arms. They were all laughing and congratulating Keith as he held Mr. Bubbles close to his chest and found himself shedding tears of pure joy, joy that he was going to live another day.

"We need to celebrate," Shiro stated as he and Allura pulled away, his arm still on her back almost like they were dating. "Is it okay if we have a small party in here later on Doctor Ari?" He asked with his grey eyes full of hope.

The doctor hesitated for a moment but when she saw how happy her patient looked, she couldn't refuse. "Of course, but nothing that can ruin his health is allowed. If I see any traces of alcohol I am going to show you the exit with my foot," She pointed out with a serious face.

"Alright," Pidge shouted as he continued to lean against Keith's back, "I'll have my brother bring our game system so we can play Mario Kart together."  
"What about this Residential of Evil you spoke of before Pidge?" Allura asked curiously.

Pidge snorted slightly and shook his head, "You wouldn't even get through the first ten minutes Allura, you're nothing but a scrub."  
"You're nothing but a pleb for using such old terminology."

"Keith, be nice!" Shiro scolded.

Keith laughed as he snuggled the stuffed hippo. If he had to count off all the things he was thankful for he would only list one thing; the support group. It introduced him to people who genuinely cared about him rather than his job even if they had only known each other for a few weeks. Maybe he was just stuck on the idea of being Lance's first kiss, perhaps that was why he thought he had feelings for the boy. Yeah, that had to be it, there was no way Keith could be falling for someone so early.

"Let's invite Hunk and Shay," Keith shouted as he began to think about what they could do as a celebration in a hospital room.

Pidge raised his brow as he peeked around Keith's head to look at his face from behind, "What about Lance? You can't be Brogane without your Leith," he winked devilishly.  
Keith felt his cheeks burn up slightly in embarrassment as everyone looked at him expectantly (though Ari had snuck out of the room without the teens noticing) and looked down at Mr. Bubbles quietly. He loved the gift that Lance had given him but it wasn't enough to buy back his friendship, especially not after how he chose Nyma over him. He never even took Keith's feelings into consideration the night before so why should he even consider inviting a wheezing bag of dicks like Lance.

"I'm not Brogane anymore Pidge," Keith stated as he played with Mr. Bubbles' little arm. "He's busy with Nyma anyways."

The thing was, Lance was busy doing absolutely nothing in the comfort of his own home while Keith made plans that purposely excluded him.

He was huddled under the blankets of his bed as he tried to keep himself from crying. He had been like this since he got home last night from the hospital. His chest felt empty and his stomach felt heavy, he was absolutely devastated by Keith's reaction when he told him about Nyma.

"I thought he would have been understanding," Lance whimpered to himself as he stared at the instagram photo he saved of Keith. He loved this photo so much, Keith was so happy and his smiled seemed to take away some of the pain he was feeling.

Lance was stupid, he was so incredibly stupid for allowing his first real friend to slip away from him so easily. He was a disgrace to the world of social interactions wasn't he? He believed he had been doing what was best, no, he wanted to believe that what Nyma wanted was for the best. Nyma had to be right about this, she was the most popular girl at school with way more experience with friends than he had ever had in his life.

Sure he had a few friends in middle school he would play video games with after classes ended, but no one compared to Marcia. He and Marcia would always be together, they were practically joined at the hip as kids. She didn't care about what he had looked like back then, in fact she would try to fight anyone who bullied Lance for being overweight but it changed once he became bulimic. After that, she wanted nothing to do with him as more and more people began to push him out of social circles and forced him to become an outcast.

He needed his sister now, he needed her wise advice from three years ago that got him through the bullying in middle school. He began to sob quietly in his unlit room, all alone beneath the heavy quilts of his bed.

Marcia was outside the door listening to her twin quietly crying himself to sleep as she pressed her hand against her mouth and fought the urge to bust into the room and sit with Lance. She couldn't do it though, she couldn't be there for him anymore now that she had abandoned him for so long, leaving him to face the reality of the cruel world without any moral support.

She wasn't someone he needed anymore in his life, she was just a useless piece of trash that one would find on the street. "I'm sorry, Lance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are curious for the line up of the next three chapters I intend on it to be this (in order)  
> -Allura  
> -Shiro  
> -Lance
> 
> I don't really know what else to say to be perfectly honest aside from the fact that I will probably post the next chapter on Wednesday or Thursday of next week. We have to take these fake babies home for my child development class (RIP me, I am only there because I wanted to be a teacher) and so this weekend is just going to be completely busy this weekend between trying to find someone to watch the doll so I could go out to the movies like I had planned, work, and even the fact I have to email my teachers my homework. 
> 
> I need a break even though it has only been a week since school started. I was not ready for all this work in my senior year;;;
> 
> I really hope everyone has an amazing day and also a special thank you to those of you who leave such wonderful comments that help me improve the reading experience of this story and even to those of you who correct me on things. I really appreciate you all and if you have questions pertaining to the text or even to me, please feel free to ask away because i love answering your questions!
> 
> Goodnight!


	20. Essays and Regret (Allura)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura remembers how school went on Monday before she makes a decision that could change her school life for the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really short chapter so I apologize in advance. Again, I am only posting earlier than the normally scheduled date because I am going to comic con this Friday and so I won't be on my phone at all during that time since I want to spend time with my friends.
> 
> I will be changing the rating on this fanfiction to mature since from here on out there will be scenes that will make some viewers feel uneasy and/or sick while reading also the end note of this chapter will be the last warning for this story and it'll have character information so please read it before the next update for next Saturday. Thank you and the warning was placed on this chapter and the first chapter.

It began to get worse around the time of Keith's dilemma, the dysthymia.

What Keith said to everyone reminded her of what she always felt deep down inside of the parts of her mind she always wanted to keep hidden away from sight. The darkness that constantly followed behind her closely as if it had a life of its own. It was attached to her almost as if it thrived inside of her shadow and constantly peeked over her shoulder with red eyes and a grim smile on its face as it whispered things into her ear that no person should ever hear.

When she turned around there would never be anything there and even so, as she stared over her shoulder she could still hear her shadow whispering sinister things to her about how she was worthless or even the root cause of other's suffering. She would often find herself staring into the mirror at home in hopes to see the demon whispering to her with a little smile on it's black, hazy face but she only saw herself.

The thoughts had only gotten worse after she and Shiro made up and grew closer. She knew that she was just setting the sweet boy up for pain, but somehow she couldn't keep herself from being at his side. She liked the feeling of safety she felt when he held her in his arms, she felt as if all the sinful things and darkness in the world couldn't touch her as long as she was next to him, but she was mistaken.

The previous day had proven that Shiro couldn't keep her safe from everything. He was just one person and her thoughts and demons were multiple beings that not even she could handle. It had started off normal, Shiro drove her to school and they walked together to the student council meeting where he watched as she led the meeting and gave the budgets to each club that she made (with his help of course). After that, they went to the first period together and spent every passing period walking to class together, Allura constantly found herself laughing to the point where she let out a small snort into the air all because of Shiro's jokes he would tell her.

She had been having such an amazing day being able to smile so much and find herself yearning for the feeling of Shiro's arms around her again until English. She should have never allowed Shiro to get so close to her when the shadow she feared the most dwelled within the campus grounds, watching its prey from a distance as it toyed with them.

During class as she sat in her seat in the back corner, she could feel the cold and demanding stare of Mr. Lindon all the way from across the room and it made her feel queasy. She knew that there was no way on earth that Mr. Lindon hadn't seen her with Shiro and so she understood that she was going to be reprehended for breaking his number one rule.

Don't talk to other men or boys.

The first time she had broken this rule he had been nice enough to let her off with a warning, but the second time he spilled his coffee all over her at the coffee shop he brought her to not too long ago and ruined her clothes. Who knew what he would do this time and being left with her own thoughts whilst trying to write an essay about The Glass Castle was proving difficult as Allura tapped the heel of her shoe against the floor and fiddled with her tie as she tried to write an essay. She was so focused on ignoring the whispering in her head from her little personal demon that hung around her that she hadn't even taken notice of the bell ringing prompting all the students to get up and rush out the door to go home for the day.

She only noticed she was alone with the teacher when she glanced up to see him standing above her with a forced smile on his face. He would have looked stunning today if Allura didn't know what he was really like. He may have looked nice and well put together in the grey suit he wore, but it didn't take away from the fear Allura instantly felt as she clutched her pencil in her hand tightly and closed her legs instinctively.

"So, you had seventy minutes to write a two-page essay and yet you only have your thesis statement down?" He raised a greyish brown eyebrow with a hint of annoyance in his eyes. Allura found herself staring down at the unfinished essay with a strong sense of guilt forming in the pits of her stomach. He let out a deep sigh and reached out to run his fingers through Allura's hair gently before he held the long, platinum blonde locks of hair in his fingers. "You know, you're just absolutely beautiful, you're almost exotic. Your hair and eyes are like a captivating dream I can never escape, my dear Allura."

Allura felt a knot form in her throat as she swallowed down her nervousness. She didn't know what to say or even do in response to that stupid comment of his that he probably thought was mighty poetic, but in fact, it was absolutely disgraceful to any man out there trying to flirt. "T-Thank you, Richard."

He let out another sigh as his green eyes wandered around Allura's face for a moment almost as if he were searching for any signs of fear. "It's too bad that you've been disobeying me though," He tightened his grip on her hair and pulled her closer causing her to wince in pain. "I told you to stop going around that impure boy, didn't I?" He said aggressively.

The door was shut, so he could get away with any physical thing he did to her as long as no one walked through the door. She didn't regret any of it like he wanted her to; she loved the feeling of that heavy weight being lifted off from her shoulders by Shiro simply just saying hello to her in the mornings, she loved his lame dad jokes that reminded her of Coran, and she loved how gentle he was after suffering from so much pain in his life. A gross snob like Lindon couldn't take away the joy she had been feeling all day because of Shiro so easily. She didn't want to give that piece of herself up to her teacher that had slowly taken over all of her independence and forced her into a life under a man's rule where anything he wanted went, and if she dared to speak out against him then she would be punished. That type of lifestyle wasn't for her and she wanted to fight back against Mr. Lindon, but she just wasn't strong enough on her own to do so, at least not yet anyways so she instead struggled to not fall out of her desk as her teacher tugged on her hair and began losing his temper quickly.

"Why do you do this to me, Allura?" Mr. Lindon asked with a whine, "Why do you make me suffer greatly as I watch you smile at another man? I should be the only one for someone as pure and gentle as you, my little rose!"

"Sorry..." Allura whispered meekly, all of her energy had been drained from her body suddenly and she felt absolutely useless. She didn't want to upset him any more than what he already was, so the only thing she could do right now was to just be submissive and accept any and all punishments he believed to fit her crimes.

He let her hair go and roughly pushed her back so that she sat in her seat normally again. He was beyond frustrated, he was borderline insane at this point as he paced around in front of Allura running his fingers through his ugly, aging hair as he mumbled to himself about how he needed to fix her mistakes. He liked to be in a place of power, no, he loved being in power in a relationship. Even his wife at home had marks of physical abuse on her arms she tried to cover up desperately whenever Allura was forced to go to his home. The main basis of an abusive relationship is that the dominant person had to feel empowered, they had to feel like they were the most important being in the world and they also had to have a belief that they could get away with anything they did no matter how bad it was. Lindon had all of these beliefs screwed into his skull that he enjoyed displaying to Allura and his wife on a daily basis. She didn't know what or even who had made him like this, but she didn't care because in this world you choose whether or not you want to become a monster, but she was never given the choice of whether or not she wanted to become a victim.

"I'll tell Takashi that we can't be friends anymore sir," Allura stood up from her desk with a forced smile as she tried to offer an ultimatum to her teacher instead of receiving some sort of punishment.

Mr. Lindon looked down at her and stopped pacing suddenly as a deep frown formed on his face, "You really think that will get him to stop talking to you Allura? I know boys, I know how their disgusting little minds work, but you obviously don't, which is why you have to be punished for not listening to me!" He didn't even hesitate as he raised his hand into the air and connected his palm against her cheek, knocking her over onto the dirty tiled floor in a daze.

Books often described this feeling as a numbing sensation that the main character often grew used to if they had lived a life like hers, but the feeling she had right now made tears threaten to spill over her red cheek as her ears ringed from the powerful slap that left her stunned on the floor. Her face felt like it had been stung by a thousand bees and her tongue was probably bleeding from accidentally biting it upon the connection with her abuser's palm. Her head ached and felt woozy as she tried to regain her sense of hearing. She had never felt something so painful in her entire life, even the dysthymia didn't compare to this.

Lindon stood above her with his green eyes locked on his palms, "Look at what you just made me do, Allura," he said quietly before dropping his hand down at his side with a blank expression and a voice devoid of any and all emotion. "I don't want to hurt you, I'm supposed to keep you safe from the bad, bad world and yet I had to teach you about the pain you make me feel when I see you with a perverted little boy such as Shirogane," He leaned down and gently scooped a piece of her hair into his hand and took a long whiff of it as his green eyes rolled back in pleasure. "I simply can't have him deflower you just yet, not when you're not at your fullest potential."

Those words sent a shocking revelation through Allura's mind suddenly; his ultimate goal was to truly protect her innocence by taking it away to have as his forever. She felt those tears she had been desperately trying to hold back fall over her cheeks suddenly as she realized how stupid and defenseless she was. She was nearly knocked out by a simple slap from Lindon, he could do anything to render her unable to fight back at any second of the day and there was nothing she could do about it. If she reported him then her school records would have the details about their relationship in ink forever and no Ivory league college would want a student that would date her teacher for better grades. What the hell was she going to do?

She watched helplessly as Lindon slid his hand up her exposed thigh and up to the end of her skirt, "Please...don't do this," her voice was weak and shaky as she began to beg her teacher to stop.

That was when God intervened with a simple knock at the door that possibly saved Allura from the worst experience she would ever have in her lifetime. It was Shiro at the door, "Allura, we have to go!" he called out from the hallway without caring if Lindon heard him.

Mr. Lindon cupped his face in his hands and sighed deeply as he cursed under his breath. "He knows how to time things perfectly, doesn't he?"

Allura wasted no time as she grabbed her belongings as rushed over to the door to open it in order to step out into the hallway. She wanted to just leave now. She didn't want to see anyone except Shiro or even Keith. Shiro never questioned her about what had happened in the room as she grabbed his hand and led him out the building and to his car where she dropped her school items on the floor and threw herself into his arms and began to weep. She had to get it all out now before she faced Keith at his house later on.

Shiro gently placed his arms around her body and held her close as he gently swayed back and forth on his feet in order to comfort her slightly. "You don't need to talk about it Allura, just let it out," He whispered as he gently kissed the top of her hair and rested his chin on her head.

She was so thankful to have someone as understanding as he was. She continued to weep in his white school shirt as he held her in the parking lot until she was all out of energy. Then, he gently guided her to the passenger's side and helped her get in before he fished a blanket out from the back seat to put over her shaking body. It was clear he wanted to storm back into Lindon's room and teach him not to make Allura cry, but he was being smart about it. He closed her door and got into the driver's side where he sat for a few minutes to allow himself to calm down slightly before he tried to make her feel better with terrible puns as they headed out to Keith's house.

After everything that had happened the day before and everything Keith had said today, Allura felt like what she was doing in her bathroom was the right thing. She stared at herself from in front of the mirror, the new her. She had cut her hair short so that it hovered above her shoulders and she dyed it white so that she took away two of the things Lindon loved about her.

She wanted to make him hate her and this was the only way she knew how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story deals with mental illnesses, abusive relationships, drugs, alcohol abuse, suicidal ideation, depression, eating disorders, rape, child abuse, child sexual harassment and much more. The characters in this story each have their own personal problems like bulimia, cancer, anxiety disorder, dysthymia, PTSD, and gender dysphoria.
> 
> No disorders are romanticised in the story, in fact, there will be scenes that make you uncomfortable with how each thing is shown because I try my hardest to make it as accurate to their disorders as possible. I do not sugar coat anything except the serious bits and pieces like sexual assault in order to avoid any controversial subjects.
> 
> If at any point this story becomes too much for you please stop reading it because I will NOT be rewriting pieces to make it less realistic. Many scenes will make you feel anxious, paranoid, sick, or many other things. I just want to make sure that if anyone has PTSD or anything else that can be triggered through ANY of the things mentioned above, will read at their own risk and that I am not at fault for anything that happens to you. If at any time a disorder isn't properly portrayed please leave a comment telling me about it and I will try to fix it.
> 
> If there are any concerns or questions you have please leave them in the comments and I'll address them. I do not put trigger warnings before any of my chapters so please read at your own risk because you never know if the happier chapters will take a darker turn towards the end.
> 
> The sexualities and disorders of each character are listed below along with their schools (this is to avoid confusion in the future):
> 
> Lance- Pansexual, bulimic, Stellae High.
> 
> Keith- Gay, liver cancer, homeschooled.
> 
> Allura- Heterosexual, dysthymia, Initium Academy.
> 
> Hunk- Heterosexual, anxiety disorder, Stellae High.
> 
> Shiro- Bisexual, PTSD, Initium Academy.
> 
> Katie Holt/Pidge- Asexual, gender dysphoria, Brook High.
> 
> Aside from the details above I really hope everyone who chooses to continue reading this enjoys each and every chapter I put out. I love this fic and all the people who comment on here because it makes me feel happy knowing people enjoy my work. I started this story with a reason and I intend on finishing it for the same reason I intended on when I started; to show that these disorders aren't something people should romanticise or encourage having because many are life threatening and I hope you all can agree with me on this. No matter how much backlash I may receive in the future for this story it will not keep me from writing and I hope you all understand why.


	21. Twenty Questions (Shiro)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Allura finally get a chance to be lone together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updating schedule is back to every Sunday and I am hoping it stays that way until the end of the story which is a lonnnnnng ways off so don't worry about it.
> 
> Please, enjoy :)

It was weird seeing Allura with short hair as she went out to the store with Shiro to pick up snacks for Keith and their friends. She had it dyed to match the color of snow and her radiant smile told Shiro that she liked her new look. He couldn't help but sneak a peek at her at each stoplight.

He just loved the look she had on her face when she smiled. She was like an iridescent star that had fallen from the night sky to land in the palm of his hands and when he looked down at it, it lit up his world. It would make his cheeks flush cherry red, his heart flutter, and his stomach twist into knots. It was something so special that no word in the entire world could even begin to describe it. Was her smile beautiful? Was it relieving? Was it gorgeous? He wouldn't know what word to choose when he thought about Allura's smile, all he knew was that it was like a drug to him and the more he saw it the more he craved.

He smiled slightly to himself as he pulled into a parking space in front of the store. "Your hair looks really nice Allura," He stated and felt his face heat up in shyness.

He always had issues complimenting her, ever since freshman year. The old him, the little freshman him, wouldn't even have been able to approach such a beautiful girl like Allura without sweating nervously and stuttering over his own words. Matt would always make fun of Shiro whenever he would see that young, confident looking girl that strolled down the hallways with her head held high.

He admired her so much; she was a goddess in his eyes. In his sophomore year, he joined the baseball team and began to gain confidence as Matt as his new friends introduced him to new people but even so he couldn't just go up to Allura and talk to her. She was an enigma that Shiro had to figure out before he could ever even think about going up to in order to ask her out for coffee. In his junior year, he managed to speak to her.

She probably didn't remember it since it happened well over a year ago but Shiro remembered seeing her in the hallways struggling with her locker being jammed shut so he decided to help her open it. She was quiet and reserved, almost as if she didn't want to even make friends with him as he tried to strike up a conversation. He thought it had been weird but now that he knew why she did the things she did because of her disorder, he didn't think of her as odd or even peculiar. His senior year was the best year. He literally drove her around, got to hug her, speak to her, and he even gets to be the reason why she smiled. He loved being someone who could make her happy. He loved just seeing her smile.

Allura blushed as she smiled softly in her seat and reached up to the chopped end of her hair and twisted it slightly between her index finger and thumb. "I thought it looked bad, thanks, Shiro," she said quietly before she looked up at the blushing man. For a moment they just stared at one another in the parking lot of Walmart, just looking into the other's eyes as they quietly sat but then she reached up and gently touched his fringe. "Maybe you should dye your fringe white, we could match."

Shiro felt his heart thundering inside of his chest as his face felt almost like it was about to melt off like the wicked witch's when she got water on her. He laughed awkwardly as he glanced up at her hand playing with his black fringe. "Maybe I should but I don't know how to dye my own hair..." He felt so embarrassed admitting that he didn't know how to work hair dye.

Allura clapped her hand over her mouth as she his her wide smile and began chuckling, "Really? There are instructions on the back of the box Takashi, it isn't that hard!" She sounded so amused as she teased her taller friend.

Shiro felt like crawling into the backseat to hide from the world. "It's harder than it looks Allura!" He tried to defend himself as he hid his face in his hands.

Allura gently patted his shoulder as she began to get out of his car, "We can do it at your house after we buy some food Takashi."

Shiro felt all his shyness fade away suddenly as he watched Allura hop out of his car and fix her hair as she shut the door. She wanted to go to his house, the house that Shiro went back to every night with a sense of shame following him. The house where his demons hid and the place where he has to constantly take care of his own mother almost like she was a child.

He decided that he should try to convince Allura to do it at her own home while they were shopping so that he could avoid having her meet his drunk mother. He quickly followed her into Walmart after locking the car. "Maybe we could do it somewhere else?" He asked as he grabbed a cart and began to wheel it around the aisles that he and Allura passed by.

Allura touched the tips of her hair quietly as she frowned at each sign they passed by looking for the chip aisle. "Can't, Coran is having his coworkers over for poker night tonight and a drunk Irish man is not a sight you want to see no matter how funny it is," She stated absently as her eyes scanned the giant blue sign hanging above them.

Shiro frowned slightly but realized he couldn't avoid having Allura over his house forever. May as well get it over with. He sighed as she pointed to the chip aisle for him to turn down, "Well since we're out here shopping and you're wanting to make me match my hair with you, why don't we get to know each other more?" Shiro said as he pursed his lips and began to drum his fingers on the handlebar of the cart quietly.

Allura glanced at him for a split second as she took the shopping list Pidge gave her out from her back pocket. She was wearing high waisted black jeans with a purple T-shirt tucked into it that had a picture of a moon on it. "What were you thinking?" She inquired as she grabbed a large bag of hot Cheetos and dropped them into the cart without care.

Shiro shrugged as he continued to awkward do his little drum solo, "Twenty questions?"

"That's what couples do though."

"Couples also get matching hair colors sometimes, your point?"

Allura took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Touché Takashi."

Shiro found himself smiling as his fingers finally stopped drumming to the tune of his nervous heartbeat. "What're your hobbies or favorite things to do?" He asked.

Allura gently placed her hand on the end of the shopping cart and began to guide it further down the aisle. "I enjoy reading and studying, nothing else really," she stated as she looked down at the list and tried to decipher the chicken scratch on the note.

Shiro tried to not let out a little sigh of disappointment as he stared at the back of Allura's head still finding it hard to believe she chopped off those long locks of her once blonde hair. "That sounds nice," He offered a weak reply.

"Well I never actually have time to sit down and do anything, not when I'm the student council president and valedictorian," She grumbled stressfully.

Shiro felt a pang of sympathy for the slightly shorter girl walking in front of him. "I can teach you how to draw if you want, I mean when you're doing my hair."

Allura looked over her shoulders, her blue eyes were so full of curiosity as she slowed down to a stop, "You draw?" She asked as she turned her whole body around to face him.

Shiro felt his cheeks begin to flush red, "A-Ah, a little I guess. I'm not good or anything but I enjoy drawing portraits of people and-"

Before he could finish speaking he found himself at loss for words as Allura smiled so brilliantly and leaned over the cart with her hands on the end of it keeping her from falling inside of it. "Yes!" She exclaimed in excitement, "Please teach me how to draw Takashi, I've always wanted to be able to draw!"

Shiro slammed his right foot down on his end of the cart so it wouldn't tip over because of Allura's weight as he tried to keep himself from smiling in fondness. "O-Okay!" He nodded in excitement.

Allura then lost her smile as a frown swept over her face causing her joy to die a little, "I don't have anything I can teach you, I've never had time to myself so I never took up a hobby..." She mumbled quietly with a regretful expression on her face.

Shiro didn't even hesitate as he spoke to the beautiful girl, "Just teach me about yourself, that's what I care about most."

He felt his entire body become red hot as he realized that he should probably invest in a filter for his mouth that kept him from saying weird and creepy things to the girl he had been head over heels in love with for years. She looked beyond surprised, she was absolutely astonished by his comment that she nearly fell over inside of the cart with the Cheetos as her skin darkened with a barely visible blush.

Shiro was already thinking of his apology but before he could manage to say it that same smile that could always seem to silence him without hesitation crossed her face but it was somehow different. He couldn't describe it normally. The original smile that made his legs feel like putty was like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; it just felt right. This smile that his grey eyes were staring at ever so fondly was different. Her head tilted to the side, her eyes squinted shut slightly, she grinned ear to ear, and the laugh that came with it made a pb&j seem so... so far away and old. This one was like a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. It was just so beyond perfection that no words in the entire English language could even begin to describe it.

It was extraordinary if he had to choose a single word to describe it.

"Okay," she smiled at him from across the cart with her hypnotic eyes closed and her little cheek dimples showing to the world. She then hopped off the cart and walked over to his side to bump into him gently, "I'll teach you about myself."

Shiro never felt this way about any other girl in the world. He had seen girls of all shapes, sizes, and looks but none of them could ever make him feel so shy and clammy. His face was on freaking fire. He felt like he was literally about to die from a heat stroke as he felt Allura's arm brush up against his. Luckily he managed to continue on like a normal human being and he learned so much about the girl as they grabbed everything they needed for the party. She loved lions and thought they were the coolest animals in the entire universe, she thought that trucks were overrated (though Shiro would disagree), she wasn't religious but if she had to choose a religion she would be Buddhist, when she was a kid she used to make her father put her on his shoulders and run around stores with her like that as he made plane noises.

With each new detail she told him about her life he felt his heart grow softer and softer for her and all her little peculiarities she told him about. He couldn't even tell that underneath that smile of hers was years and years of darkness that only grew with each passing hour. She seemed like every normal girl in high school, just perfectly normal. He liked her so much that he was willing to look past her disorder that he knew very well that couldn't be cured much like his own.

When he was younger he would always dream about finding someone in the world that could make his heart play hopscotch in his chest and his stomach do jumping jacks inside of his torso. He would sit down and draw various pictures of him and his dream bride at his fantasy wedding. He always thought that she would be slightly shorter than him, just enough so that he could kiss her forehead without having to lean over, he knew that no matter what she looked like that she would be the most stunning woman at their wedding and even during their first date or even their first meeting. He knew his future wife would be the only woman that could make him feel like he was stuck on cloud nine until the final breath he shared with her.

His father, however, found that his dream was nothing but silliness and preyed on his innocence every night. He would tell little Shiro that his perfect someone wasn't a woman but rather the person he lived with. He would tear up the pictures Shiro drew of his blurry faced bride and Shiro would watch her shredded face fall to the floor as he felt his father's abuse.

He gave up on ever hoping to find love when his innocence was stripped away from him in his childhood. He gave up joy when he would scream at the feeling of his own mother gently touching his arm to comfort him. He gave up on ever having a happily ever after he couldn't keep his eyes closed without having a memory of that monster leaning over him.

That was until he met Allura. She brought back those happier memories of his childhood, the ones from before his father left his mark on Shiro's mind forever. All the memories of the perfect bride came back to him but instead of a blurry-faced woman, she looked like Allura. He felt his hope of ever finding love come back when he first saw her smile, he felt joy when he talked to her for the first time, and he felt his happily ever after come back when he hugged her for the first time to comfort her. She gave him the things he lost back to him. She gave him the things his father stripped away from him so selfishly.

At one point while they were having fun together at the Walmart he convinced Allura to break the rules and hop into the basket with all their food as he pushed her around. She was terrified at first but after a few turns she ended up throwing her arms into the air and began to laugh out of pure joy as he ran her up and down aisles quickly grabbing things they needed, they even grabbed a pack of white hair dye for Shiro.

"Uhhh," a Walmart employee stepped in front of the two giggling teens as he placed a hand on his fanny pack and stuck his nose into the air. "There are absolutely no teens allowed inside the baskets to avoid any injuries we could be sued for soooooo," He looked down at a very happy Allura clutching three bottles of Coke in her arms. "Get out."

Allura gave a sheepish smile as she struggled to get out of the cart in order to apologize to the employee who waddled away from them as if he had a stick shoved up somewhere where the sun doesn't shine.

They bought their things as Allura raved about how much fun she had with him pushing her around the store. "And then you just like drifted around that corner and I felt like I was on a rollercoaster!" She exclaimed as she bounced up and down in her seat as Shiro drove to his house.

He couldn't help but smile so widely as he glanced over at her every now and then to see her smiling like a little kid as she sat on the edge of her seat with her eyes fixed on Shiro's face. "I guess you enjoyed breaking the rules for the first time Miss. President?" He inquired jokingly.

She nodded enthusiastically, "It was like a whole new world opened up to me Takashi," she breathed out loud and lifted her hands up to stare down at her palms with the bewildered look on her face. "Every time I'm alone with you I feel like a new person, almost like my dysthymia can't dictate my life anymore and I can finally enjoy my life with a fresh breath of air!"

He was her first breath of fresh air.

This new information canceled out everything else that she gave to him earlier, even that fried peanut butter and a banana sandwich smile he fell in love with today. This was the thing that confirmed the growing feelings within his chest; he was in love with her.

"Thank you..." He whispered under his breath.

Allura tilted her head to the side, "What'd you say?" She asked as he carefully pulled into his driveway with reluctance.

"Here you go," He ignored her question and lowered his grey eyes as he turned off his car, "My house you wanted to go to so badly. Before you go in I need to tell you something, well," he felt his heart grow heavy as he prepared to talk about his family problems. "I have to tell you about everything, the things that I've been hiding from the group during our meetings and-"

He felt Allura reach out and gently pull his hand away from the steering wheel in order to hold it in her own. "Takashi," she whispered quietly as she stared at him from the seat she sat in. Her blue eyes searched his grey ones. "You don't need to tell me about it if you're not comfortable with saying so. I understand that there are things in your life you want to keep hidden because even I have my own secrets," She leaned in and let go of his hand as she reached up and placed her palms against his cheeks as she cupped his face gently. "I accept you and all of your baggage if it means I can feel like I did earlier today."

Shiro didn't think it was possible but he felt like he was falling for her even more with each word she spoke to him. He felt himself lean into her hands as he squeezed his eyes shut and quietly thanked the gods above for blessing him with such an understanding girl. "Thank you, let's go fix my fringe."

Luckily Shiro's mother was at work so he didn't have to clean up after her again as he shut his cat inside of his room so that he wouldn't get stepped on. "We should do this in the bathroom so we don't ruin your carpet," Allura said as she shuffled alongside him as she held the hair dye in her hands.

Shiro led her to his bathroom and placed a towel around his neck as she put on her gloves and began to get to work on his little fringe. She carefully applied the dye as he stared up at her with a loving expression in his eyes. He loved the way her brows dipped down slightly in concentration and how she bit her bottom lips as she worked the dye into his hair.

"Done," she stated once she washed his hair and dried it carefully. "We match now Takashi," She smiled and slid the gloves off to place her hands on her hips.

He stood up and looked in the mirror and found himself staring at a whole new him. He looked so different now with the fringe dyed a different color. It was amazing not only because it actually looked really nice on him but because he was matching with Allura now. He looked down at her and smiled widely before reaching out to touch the ends of her short hair.

"We match now," he agreed. Now was the time he had to say it or he would never find enough confidence to tell her about how he felt. "Listen Allura," he began and felt himself smile as he remembered how much fun they that day. "I need to say-"

"Shut up," Allura stated suddenly as she stepped forward slightly and placed her hand on the back of his neck and kissed him.

Her soft locks of hair fell from his fingertips like silk and brushed against her dark skin as it fell back into place. He was lost, he had no idea what to do as he stood there with his eyes as wide as cookies, staring down at the girl of his dreams as she kissed him so passionately. This was no peanut butter and banana sandwich at all. This was a buffalo burger now. It was too good to be true and he lost himself in the heat of the moment as he pulled her out into the hallway and struggled to open his door as he had his back pressed against it as he tried to not disconnect from Allura as they kissed each other repeatedly.

It was sloppy and kind of gross since Shiro never kissed anyone before in his life but she didn't seem to care as they tripped over his wheezing cat and crashed onto his bed. Before anything got too far, however, at the moment he felt Allura's gentle touch against his waist he froze up and nearly screamed in fright at the memory that came back to him.

He was a child again, sitting in his dad's workshop where the man sat cleaning one of his guns he loved dearly. He was a blonde German man with a scraggly looking beard. Shiro was staring at him as he sat in the chair he would always be forced to be in when they went to the back room.

"What did I tell you Takashi?" Mr. Churchill asked as he set his gun down and stared at Shiro with a displaced look in his grey eyes.

Shiro lowered his head and pulled down on the black shirt he was wearing to hide his bruises from the world. "That I don't need no wife... that y-you're the only person I need."

Slowly, his father rose up out of his chair and walked over to Shiro to cup his face in his hands. "That's right, but you still insist on drawing that stupid little thing don't you? You know what I do next is for your own good right Takashi?"

Shiro fought back tears as he nodded slowly and felt his father's hands slide down to his waist to lift up his shirt to expose the marks he left on his own son only yesterday. Then he felt his father's hand grab his arm roughly and pull him to the ground as he began crying and struggling beneath his own father.

During the struggle his father began to shout his name, "Takashi," but the more and more he shouted it the less it sounded so gruff and masculine and the more it sounded panicked and frightened. "Takashi!"

His blurry eyes opened to see Allura in tears as she cupped his face in her hands and tried to keep him from harming himself. "Takashi..." She repeated herself but weaker this time as his heart calmed down and he felt his body relax the longer he stared at her. "You're in your house, we were kissing, I didn't mean to-" She looked down and bit her lip as she tried to keep herself from crying out in fear. "I didn't mean to hurt you!" She exclaimed.

Shiro was at loss for words as he stared at her as tears from her eyes dripped onto her maroon shirt and stained it with each drop. He had a PTSD episode from the feeling of Allura touching his waist and now he was staring up at the girl he loved as she bawled her eyes out in guilt for triggering a flashback.

Shakily, he reached up and pulled her into his chest as he hugged her. "You're f-fine Al-lura," he stuttered and squeezed her in his arms and he closed his eyes and felt tears beginning to fall from his eyes.

They should have never kissed, he should have never gotten so lost in the feeling of love like he had done. If he hadn't then they wouldn't be there in his bed crying together as they held each other.

"I am so sorry, I told you I never wanted to hurt you but I did! I did the exact thing I was afraid of doing!" She cried out.

Shiro remained silent as he tried to calm down his trembling body for Allura. "I promise to never do anything that can hurt you again and this time I will swear on my own damn life if I have to. I will never ever ever hurt you."

A happy day turned sour so fast and without mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have PTSD or are triggered by rape, noncon, sexual abuse, abuse, child abuse, etc, you are advised to read at your own risk here on out. I am not responsible for any problems you may encounter along the way since I did post a warning note at the beginning of the story and even on the end note of the last chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter


	22. Daddy Issues (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith comforts Pidge during a sensitive time and old scars resurface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, as a special gift, tomorrow I will be posting Pidge's POV from this chapter as a back to back thing. Please, enjoy :)

The lights were out. The moon outside was high in the sky and it what most would call; the perfect night. What was the perfect night? The perfect night was the type of night when the scary things that go bump in the night would come out to show themselves to the world.

Tonight was that night. It was the night where the only question that mattered was, "Do you believe in the Mothman?"

A single breath hitching was heard throughout the hospital room as a pair of amethyst colored eyes widened in the glow of the moonlight being filtered through the window a few feet away. Pale skin seemed luminous and almost unreal to the eye as a small yet excited smile formed on the boy's pink lips.

"What is it?" Keith whispered in curiosity as he leaned forward closer to Pidge and he clutched Mr. Bubbles in his arms with anticipation.

Matt, holding a candle to his face in order to cast an eerie shadow on his pale skin leaned close to Keith and began talking in a mysterious voice. "He's the thing that haunts bridges right before terrible accidents and most says he's an omen of death," he blew the candle out and skittered away with a little giggle at the sight of Keith's slightly terrified expression.

Pidge pulled his eyelids down and began to make zombie noises as he crawled closer to his older friend, "Braaaaains," he groaned.

Keith stared at Pidge with a slightly annoyed look as he flicked his friend's glasses. "Shut up," he snorted before looking out the window, "if Mothman is real then are aliens real too?" He asked distantly as he felt a tinge of hope in his chest flutter like a little bird trapped inside of a cage.

Pidge allowed his face to go back to normal as he crossed his legs and looked out the window at the moon. "I like to believe they're real," he stated longingly.

Matt seated himself on the bed with the two teens and joined them in their little stargazing session, "Well if it helps, I'm an intern at NASA and I can tell you that it is scientifically impossible that we're the only living things in the entire universe, bro."

Keith found himself smiling widely at the moon as he imagined little aliens frolicking around on a planet millions of miles away. Maybe there was a little alien guy just like them, quietly staring out at the distant stars in the sky wondering if they were truly alone in the universe. He wondered if there was a place up there where he could start over from scratch, a place where no one knew who he was and a place where he wouldn't be haunted by the memories of having Lance near him. He felt like a collapsing star when he thought of the boy; there was an insane amount of weight that fell upon his shoulders, his heart felt like it was being ripped right out of his chest breaking a few ribs along the way, and his mind felt sadness that was so indescribable that he felt like he was going to die from it. Was this heartbreak?

He clutched Mr. Bubbles closer to his body as he tried to imagine a world where he never had to remember that pretty boy staring at him holding out the best gift anyone had ever given him. Keith wondered if there was another planet that had a place for him to live at where his past was buried behind him with time, a place where trust issues and fake friends were nothing but a distant memory.

He wondered if his real parents were watching the same moon as he was right now. What was his father doing now? Was he kicking back smoking a cigar as he played a game of poker with the boys or was he working hard to keep himself on his feet? What about his mother though, was she working hard or did she find a new family? Did Keith have siblings, did his mother love them more than him? There were so many unanswered questions in his life that a new one in a new solar system seemed like an amazing gift.

"I wonder what they look like," Keith wondered out loud as he thought about his real parents. The ones who left him behind and started anew without him.

Pidge shrugged as he adjusted his glasses and leaned into his brother's side in a small yawn. "I like to think of them as little green dudes but maybe they look just like us?" He said.

Matt nodded slightly before he placed an arm around his sibling, "what if they look like furries?"

"What the hell Matt?"

"What," Matt looked at his confused sibling with a frown, "I'm asking the really important questions like what if I was sexually attracted to an alien and they looked like a furry? Would I be one too?"

Keith stared at the Holt siblings fondly as the two bickered about whether or not there could be furry aliens out there. Keith imagined his father looking like a tall man with a flannel shirt of and a cigar clenched between his teeth. Maybe he had a scruffy looking beard, perhaps even a tattoo of a dragon on his arm as well but he definitely had black hair and brown eyes. His mother had to be absolutely stunning, maybe she was tall and curvaceous with long, flowing black hair and purple eyes just like his. He had to have inherited his looks from one of them.

Even if it was slightly fuzzy, he could still faintly remember a memory of when he was with his father back in elementary before he disappeared for the rest of Keith's life. It was a cold September night and Keith was on his father's lap with a book opened up below his little six-year-old nose while his father typed a report for his boss.

The book was about a hippo named Henry who went on adventures through mythical worlds with his friends Foxy the adding fox, Juniper the multiplying goldfish, and Laney the dividing Lion. Keith always loved those books and how Henry and his friends could solve mysteries and defeat creatures through the power of math and friendship but that night his father said something to him that he hadn't quite understood way back then but now he knew full well that it was his goodbye to Keith.

Thinking back to it now pained the seventeen-year-old because he now understood that his father had been preparing to leave him behind ever since he was six. Keith dropped his gaze from the window and looked down at his hand with his purple eyes filled with a mixture of tormenting emotions that he had never been able to sort out whenever he thought of his father. A piece of him, the kid inside of him, wanting to desperately know why he got left behind without a second thought but the adult in him hated the man with a burning passion. He left Keith at a sensitive age when kids need their parents, he left Keith with so many unanswered questions about who his mother was, and he left Keith as a broken child who pushed people away when he got too scared that they would get too close.

He slowly looked over at his phone and felt his heart drop slightly when he saw no new texts from Lance. He felt so stupid for wanting to confide in the boy for comfort, to hear those words 'it wasn't your fault,' but he wouldn't get that from Lance now that the inconsiderate asshole was with Nyma the manipulative bitch.

God, just thinking of that stupid little barbie doll made Keith's blood boil. He wanted to hop out of this bed and sick Vivian on her and laugh maniacally as his little sister beat up the little prep bitch. He resisted the urge to reach over and rant to Lance about how he was way better than Nyma in every way like he would treat Lance right, he would take care of Lance's every need and want at a moment's notice, and he wouldn't dare ask him to cut anyone out of his life unless they were toxic and made Lance feel bad about himself.

Sure, most people would ignore the fact that Lance had bulimia but not Keith. Keith would help Lance get the help he needed as he supported him from behind cheering him on and on towards the light at the end of the tunnel patiently waiting for Lance's arrival. He wanted the boy to be happy but he would never be as long as he was with a snake like Nyma.

"Keith, what's wrong?" Pidge asked as Matt slipped out of the room in order to see why Allura, Shiro, and Hunk were late to the little party they were throwing.

Keith looked up to meet Pidge's curious mocha colored eyes that were staring at him with concern. He never pegged Pidge to be caring, he usually thought him to be the comic relief of sorts with so much sarcasm locked away in a tiny body ready to just explode. He didn't talk with his body like most people did. When concerned a person will keep their posture opened out in a welcoming manner and have their back straight but Pidge was the opposite; his shoulders were slumped, he slouched, and his torso was turned away from Keith so that only his head was facing the black haired boy next to him on the bed holding a bubblegum pink hippo in his noodle arms.

Even so, his eyes said everything he kept hidden away from the world. His eyes were so packed full of concern that they almost seemed frightened as he stares at Keith. There was just so much emotion in one gaze and it made Keith feel as if he could tell the little guy anything bothering him.

That's what he did. "It's Lance," He looked down at his hands as he began to pluck at the soft fabric of Mr. Bubble's body. "I really feel like he's with the wrong person, I mean Nyma is just a giant bitch you know like when I brought him to the mall she flirted with other guys. Who would do that if they supposedly like someone else?" He sounded distressed as he began to ramble about Nyma and how two-faced and undeserving of Lance she was.

Pidge peeled his gaze off of Keith and looked back at the moon outside. "Sometimes people just make really stupid mistakes when they're struggling with the thoughts in their head, Keith," he mumbled quietly.

Keith felt his breath catch in his throat as he looked at Pidge with confusion in his purple eyes, "What do you mean?"

Pidge shrugged and fiddled with the ends of his green sweatshirt's sleeves with a distant look on his face. "We're all in that support group for a reason, there are deeper problems hiding behind our conditions none of us want the others to know. He may seem like his only struggle is bulimia but he never shared anything from his past with the group yet," He began before he stopped and let out a tiny little sigh. "There are things some of us don't want others to know because we feel as if it would make us appear weak and feeble; easily manipulated. When those secrets threaten to get found out, our defense mechanism kicks in and we make stupid choices to protect ourselves from people who threaten our secrets. Maybe he's dating Nyma because he was afraid of something and felt like she could somehow make him feel better about it?"

Keith found himself feeling a bit uneasy as he listened to the freshman. He was scarily accurate about it all, everyone in that group had secrets hidden beneath their surface problems. Keith's coping mechanism had been smoking; every time something happened that made him feel like his safe lifestyle was going to be threatened he would smoke in order to take away those jittery feelings of the emotions from his childhood coming back to him. With each little blunt he placed upon his lips and inhaled he would inhale and antioxidant that cleansed his body of the unwanted emotions that haunted him. The sense of abandonment, the feeling of love, the need to have someone to hold him, the crave for friends, everything would leave his body in a cloud of smoke that swirled into the air never to find its way back to his body until someone made him feel threatened again.

Every time since he started going to that meeting though, he frequented that blunt even more all because of one person. Lance. He managed to crack through the protective shell Keith had spent years putting up around him in order to avoid any more betrayals like his father's. After that first meeting, he felt so stressed by being near the skinny guy that he felt the first crack occur. He smoked to his heart's content before he went to hit photoshoot and then Lance managed to nearly demolish that wall when they hung out together for the first time and accidentally allowed Keith to see the bruises of his abuse.

The final straw was when Keith found the little pieces of his wall crumble into nothing but dust as he showered Lance in his love. With each kiss he lost his guard and opened himself up to the boy but when he heard his name he snapped back to reality. Talking to Allura and Vivian about how he felt about Lance drained him and made him smoke one last time. Even now he wanted to feel that relieving feel of the smoke leaving his body with those toxic emotions.

Keith felt the dust of his wall blow away in the gentle sigh he let out as he softened his gaze on Pidge, "You use humor don't you?"

Pidge looked up looking frazzled from the comment and furrowed his brows in annoyance, "Well at least I don't go around screaming fanta at the top of my lungs okay Keith," his eyes then rolled as he pouted slightly. "God."

Keith found himself chuckling slightly as he reached out and gently ruffled Pidge's hair making the kid swat away his hand hissing in defiance. "I should have figured Lance would have told the group about that. Also," Keith brought his hand back to Mr. Bubbles as he smiled, "Thanks. I feel better now that you gave me that speech, maybe Lance really doesn't love her but he's in love with the idea of having her there. It means I have a chance."

"Stop being so gay," Pidge grumbled as he crossed his arms, "Also your heart is way too big, you're getting stuck on someone who left you behind. That's as stupid as what I'm doing," He frowned.

Keith cocked his head to the side, "Huh?"

Pidge's cheeks turned cherry red as he nearly fell off the bed in surprise. "N-Nothing!" He exclaimed and waved his hands in the air in embarrassment.

Keith hardened his gaze on the fourteen-year-old and pressed, "No, what's up with you? You don't let things slip like that usually."

Pidge slumped his shoulders and sighed in defeat. "Fine, you caught me Queef Cocaine-"

"Don't fucking call me that."

"Anyways," Pidge fiddled with the fabric of his sweatshirt again and began to let everything out. "I've been wondering lately if I should even be going by Pidge, sure it makes me happy but a part of me feels guilty leaving behind the identity I had before. My father knew Katie, not me. If I leave behind Katie then I leave behind the last thing my father left me; my name."

Keith stared at the kid with wide eyes. He knew that Pidge's father died in the Iraq war, everyone did and it didn't take a genius to figure it out but Keith didn't realize how it had impacted Pidge. He thought Pidge had time to get over it but it was clear that a part of him was clinging to the past desperate to keep a memory close before it faded into oblivion.

Keith slowly held Mr. Bubbles out to Pidge and gave the softest look he had ever had in his life, "Here, take him," He stated calmly.

Pidge stared at Keith with confusion, his brown eyes searching those purple ones in front of him for the answers to all the questions he had. "Lance gave it to you though, isn't it your favorite animal?"

Keith shrugged as Pidge reluctantly took the giant hippo and held it awkwardly in his tiny arms. "When I was a kid I only had my father there at home. I had no siblings and no mother, it was just my father and me living together in a tiny rundown shack in the countryside of Texas," Keith felt his skin crawl in defiance as he began to tell Pidge about his life. He knew that he had to talk to someone about it and Pidge was the only one who could relate to him right now. "He taught me everything I knew but I can barely remember his face now. The only memories that remain of him are of the day he left me and the day he said goodbye to me."

"How old were you when it happened?"

"I was eight but he gave me his goodbye speech when I was six; he had plans on abandoning me ever since the day my mother left us alone to fend for ourselves," Keith found himself looking down at his lap as his eyes began to burn slightly. He hated this so much. "He told me that he wanted to make sure I didn't resent my mother for ever leaving us. He wanted me to know he loved me so much, that he would do anything for me even giving up his own life to save mine if it ever came down to it. I was six so I thought it was just random adult nonsense, but it wasn't clear and I know that now. Listen," His voice cracked pathetically as his hand shot up to his face to wipe away at the tears trying to drip from his cheeks. "I'm telling you this because you can't hold yourself back from your own happiness because of your father, you have the closure of knowing where he went but I don't. You have friends now and you don't need to feel like you're being chained to something you're not."

"Keith, you're crying..." Pidge looked shocked as he went to brush Keith's bangs away from his red eyes gently only to stop when Keith looked up with a smile on his face.

"I'm crying because I've never told anyone about this but I realize now that I have to let it out and trust others to get the emotional help I need," Keith said in a shaky voice. "Don't become something you'll regret later in your life like I did, you have so much time in this world but me? My time is limited and I'm wasting it pining for someone I can't have and blaming my parents for the pain I've lived all my life."

Pidge did the unthinkable. He let Mr. Bubbles fall onto the bed as he wrapped his arms around Keith's body and began to cry streams and streams of tears, enough to make a river out of. Keith was so taken back by this that he couldn't even think as he stiffened up and stared down at his friend in bewilderment.

"Thank you," Pidge whimpered as he got his snot all over Keith's redshirt his sister brought by earlier for him. "Thank you so much, Keith, you're the last of the good ones you know."

"And you're the first of the people I would cry in front of," Keith smiled sweetly and wrapped his arms around the little guy as he squeezed him tightly. "Damn, I could kill for a smoke right about now though."

"You're disgusting."

"You're worse, you got snot on my shirt you little shit."

"Shut the hell up."

The two began to laugh in amusement as they held each other closely in their arms. Today was shaping up to be a new experience for Keith, even if it meant stepping out of his comfort zone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and also big thanks to everyone for getting this story over 3k hits. I really enjoy seeing that you all love and appreciate my work so let's hope I don't disappoint you all in the future chapters. 
> 
> Thank you,  
> Anri


	23. Silenced Questions (Pidge//Katie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge remembers the rough patches of his life as Katie Holt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with female puberty briefly so if you are at all uncomfortable with female puberty for some odd reason I suggest skipping towards the middle of this chapter. Pidge goes by male pronouns but Katie goes by female so you're not confused by the sudden shift in pronouns.
> 
> I have transgender people help me with writing from Pidge's point of view so that I can accurately portray this sensitive subject so most of what is brought up are actually things that many Trans people go through every day when one is suffering from gender dysphoria. If I somehow got any depictions of [clinically] diagnosed gender dysphoria incorrect, please let me know straight away! This goes with all other disorder in this story such as bulimia, PTSD, dysthymia, cancer, or even anxiety disorder. 
> 
> Please, enjoy :)

When Pidge was younger, he always felt out of place with the other girls in his classes. He never felt the same way as the other girls when it came to certain things, sure Pidge had no issues with wearing dresses but they never seemed right on him. When he put it on it felt off almost as if he was someone entirely different wearing it and it sent shivers down his spine.

Elementary went on like that without escalating beyond the common bullying from the other girls for Pidge enjoying boy activities like playing in the dirt or even catching bugs and getting all muddy. The real abuse came when Pidge entered middle school and learned how much puberty could change someone so drastically.

It started about midway through sixth grade when he began to experience what it truly meant to be a girl. Everything leading up to that point had been nothing but little complications that made him feel strange about his body but the moment his abdomen began to cramp up and he was nearly bent over the dirty school toilets throwing up he realized that the body he was born with was his issue, not the things he wore or even the things he played with. During this time he was some girl named Katie who had no idea how to deal with the concept of coming of age.

Katie was coughing up stomach bile in the bathroom with her best friend holding back her long sandy-brown hair as she gagged and clamped her hand over her abdomen. "Maybe we should go to the Nurse's office Kate," Acxa stated with a sympathetic look as she slowly began to pin up her friend's hair gently.

Acxa was what most in their grade would call an emo kid. She always kept her hair a dark purple and would wear thick eyeliner that somehow worked really well with her face shape. She always wore her favorite Fall Out Boy sweatshirt from their website and sported ripped jeans that had their holes sealed up with safety pins so that she wouldn't violate the dress code and she wore big, clunky looking boots that gave her an extra few inches in height.

Katie shook her head as she wiped her mouth clean with a piece of toilet paper and tossed it into the murky water below her face. "N-No..." She mumbled hoarsely as she leaned back into her best friend and tried to take a deep breath.

Everything was killing her, her head and even her abdomen. She would have thought that her appendix was about to rupture if she hadn't pressed down on it to check it. When she felt no pain coming from it as she slowly took the pressure off of it she was left dumbfounded with a killer migraine and crippling cramps that made her want to puke everything she had ever eaten since birth to the horrible chicken patty she had for lunch a few minutes earlier.

Acxa furrowed her brows and pinched her lips together tightly as she fell deep into thought for a moment. Then, in one swift motion she helped the much shorter Katie to her feet and began to straighten out her clothing starting with the wrinkled up green sweatshirt her father gave her a month ago she wore religiously.

He gave it to her as a gift before he left for Iraq, that and a few dozen letters about all the stupid things he and his squad mates did on base while they weren't being put on patrol duty along with some pictures he drew were some other gifts he gave her. She treasured each and every one of those letters especially the one where her father put a camel spider under his pal's helmet who had an irrational fear of spiders. Apparently, the guy ran around the base with the spider chasing after him screaming at the top of his lungs which gave everyone the best laugh they ever had while on deployment.

"Kate, it's probably that time for you," Acxa stated sympathetically as she fixed Katie's ponytail and cupped her cheeks in her palms with a gentle expression on her face. "The first time is always the worst."

Katie frowned in confusion then shook her head slowly, "What do you mean by 'that time of the month'?" She inquired as she was led over to the sinks by her friend, hand in hand.

Acxa sighed in sympathy as she watched Katie wash her face with the yellowish water pouring from the faucet at a steady rate. She crossed her arms over her chest and blew a piece of her purple hair away from her face only for it to rest right above her left green eye once more. "Did you even listen to sex-ed in fifth grade?" She asked with a tone of annoyance before she gave a tiny smile and placed her palm on the top of Katie's head, "You're getting your period Kate, mother nature is beckoning you."

Katie felt a wave of nausea sweep over her body and her hands began shaking under the water faucet. She never felt so disgusted in herself before this moment. Why was she having this? It was embarrassing and just completely revolting! She wanted to stumble back into that stall and lock herself away so her friend wouldn't look at her with that face, that sympathetic face that told Katie that she knew exactly what the short little sixth grader was going through but in actuality, she didn't.

No one did, not even her family. No one would even understand her if she told them. They would shun her and peg her as a freak of nature if they found out that she was embarrassed and so disgusted to be female. She didn't want the things that came with being a girl, especially not Satan's curse for Christ's sake. She wanted to trade everything she despised about herself with a completely different body part and hope that she would feel better being that gender.

"Oh god," Katie groaned as she placed her hand over her stomach and nearly began crying from the embarrassment of Acxa knowing what was going on with her body. "How do I make it go away so people won't know?" She asked as she looked up at her friend with wide brown eyes full of desperation.

Acxa looked at her friend in bewilderment for a moment unsure of what to do with Katie. Then she looked down at their school bags they dropped on the floor as they rushed in to get Katie into a stall before she upchucked a woodchuck in the middle of the hallway in front of the other students.

She kneeled down and fished around inside of the bag with a look of pure concentration on her face as she pushed all of her makeup bags and notes around in the front pocket. "You can't get rid of it with the snap of your finger, you uh- you have to wait it out," She said quietly before pulling out some weird looking thing all wrapped up in a pink wrapper. "Here, for the meantime."

She shook it in the air, holding it normally without any awkwardness showing in her face or posture. "What... is that?" Katie asked as she picked it up by the corner with the tips of her fingers. She looked totally weirded out by the strange thing.

Acxa slumped her shoulders slightly as she stared at her friend with a dumbfounded expression, "Really? Don't you have a mom or something? Surely you've seen a pad before Kate."

Katie's face slowly turned bright pink and her cheeks started burning red hot in a mixture of embarrassment and shyness as she immediately stuck it into her pocket to hide it from her friend who had just given it to her. "O-Of course I've seen o-one I mean I'm n-not stupid!" She stuttered awkwardly and began to pull at her fingers in anxiety.

Acxa looked at Katie with a soft gaze before she glanced over at the bathroom stall. "I'll wait outside for you to put it on, I know your first time is always awkward so don't worry about it."

With that, she leaned over and scooped her bag up before she tapped Katie's cheek gently and left the bathroom leaving Katie all alone with a bright red face and her hands in her pockets.

What the hell was she supposed to do now? She was changing and there was nothing in her power she could do regretfully. She wanted to be able to punch her gut and stop her body from creating such a revolting thing inside of her. She took in a shaky breath and pulled her trembling hands from her pocket as she looked over at her reflection.

She was a girl on the outside with long, sandy-brown hair that reached her waist and big, brown doe looking eyes that made her look innocent. Her body wasn't very feminine though unlike the other girls in her school, including Acxa. Her chest was the first cousin of an ironing board and her hips and rear weren't much better. She just looked like a very, very small string bean. However, one the inside she was something completely different; she didn't belong to this body and she knew that for a fact. She couldn't handle this physical and emotional torment she endured each and every day any longer if she felt this emotionally confused about her body and mind.

Society would tell her that she was born into the right body since her physical characteristics matched with that of her chromosomes but even so she didn't feel like she completely belonged in this sack of meat that came with so much maintenance. Society would also tell her exactly how she acts and behave like as a girl; you have to dress to impress men, you'd have to plaster make-up all over your face like frosting on a cake, you would need to nearly starve yourself for that picture perfect slim body that was borderline anorexic. Society told her to do so much and she could never seem to love her body or promote body positivity no matter what she tried. She just never felt right in this weird meat sack.

As middle school came and went along with Acxa since she moved away to New York to be with her father after her parents had a nasty divorce, Katie found herself struggling more and more with trying to keep her little façade going on for her family. She was left shattered into a million of broken pieces when news came to her doorstep in an army uniform and a folded flag. She had been ready to tell her family about her problems but as she held her grieving mother's hand on a sunny day during Samuel Holt's funeral she couldn't bring herself to even mumble a word.

To her mother, she was the little girl who had been a miracle given to the Holt family from the hands of God himself.

To her brother Matt, she was the little sibling he could gossip to about his lame crushes on the cheerleaders at school and she was the younger sister he could protect from the cruel world and even teach her about space.

To her father Samuel, she was the little girl he loved so dearly. She was the person he would always check in on the most to make sure she felt well. She was his little girl.

How could she take all of those things away from her family so selfishly? Her mother had just lost her husband, she didn't deserve to lose her only daughter.

Then, high school came and a year passed after Samuel's death leaving Katie the perfect time to confide in her brother Matt for help. She told him everything, from the whole part of crying her eyes out every month when she was reminded of the body she was trapped inside of forever and how she felt as if she were lost in an never-ending maze of her own self-doubts and fears and even her own insecurities.

Matt held her in his arms as she bawled her eyes out asking him who she was. He told their mother and the very next day they found that she had gender dysphoria. Her whole life changed so quickly.

She wasted away slowly on the inside as she was ignored by her peers at school for being a freak of nature and found herself becoming more and more of a social recluse. Her mother showed her the support group's flyer and managed to convince her to go with the help of Matt on the phone and that was how she ended up here.

She was now Pidge Holt, the boy hugging Keith Kogane as he cried his eyes out thanking him for listening to his words and for the things Keith told him.

Keith had released him from the final thing that shackled him to the wrist of Katie Holt who he stared at every morning as he brushed his teeth in front of the mirror. That girl was forever gone now and all of her regrets went along with her.

Pidge had to give something back to Keith for his generosity and he knew exactly what it was; he would find Keith's biological father and reunite them so that Keith too could move on from the thing that held him back from ever moving forward with his life.

Matt busted into the room in an overexcited entry as he announced the newcomers to the pretty damn lame party. "Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Shriogane!" He shimmied out of the way before he held his hands out to point to a very embarrassed Shiro and Allura who were holding hands, however, now Allura had short, white hair and Shiro had his bangs dyed white as well. "Oh, and Hunk is behind them but he's hiding because he didn't want to be introduced," Matt sighed.

Keith tossed his blanket over Pidge's head in order to hide the fact that he had ever been crying from their friends in the doorway. "Holy shit, what the fuck is wrong with your hair!" Keith shouted at the couple lurking awkwardly in the doorway as Hunk tried to squeeze by with all the groceries in tow.

"They decided to match like a cute couple that makes me want to barf in my mouth," Matt gagged as he helped Hunk set up the food and drinks.

Hunk's cheeks turned a light shade of pink as he hovered over the hot Cheetos, "I would do it with Shay if she wanted to," He mumbled.

Pidge finally managed to calm himself down and slid the blanket off his head to look at his friends. Then, an idea struck him, "Hey, why don't we all dye a piece of our hair white?"

"And be what, the losers club?" Keith snorted as he waved Hunk over for some hot Cheetos.

Matt smiled slightly as he poured himself some coke, "How about the meme team?" He offered.

Pidge stared at his brother in disappointment, "Bro, no."

Matt rolled his eyes and handed Pidge a cup of soda without even needing to be asked. "How about we call ourselves the beautiful disasters?" Shiro piped up as he and Allura finally shuffled inside still holding hands like a lame couple.

The room was silent except for the quiet noises of Keith munching on Cheetos as the teens all thought about it for a long moment. Then Allura nodded curtly and smiled at them all, "We'll be the Beautiful Disasters."

"What about that really tall, skinny gay kid that had the hippo for Keith?" Matt asked as he gave everyone else a drink.

Keith rolled his eyes and tossed a Cheeto into Pidge's mouth, "He probably can't join our secret society as long as Nyma is breathing down his neck like the parasite she is."

"Oh jealousy, thou name is Keith," Allura teased as she guided Shiro to the group and stole one of Keith's chips with a smug grin on her face.

Keith's eyes lit up in anger and his face turned bright red as he nearly tackled her, "Stop that you hag!" He shouted angrily as Shiro held him back with a very despondent look to his face.

Pidge found himself quietly smiling as Matt slung his arm around his neck and brought him in close for a half-hug. He had come so far since middle school and it was all thanks to these beautiful disasters either screaming in anger or singing a song about cooking.

Too bad Lance wasn't here.

"I was thinking of just dying my whole head white," Matt stated as he swirled his coke in the plastic cup as if it were wine.

Pidge choked on his drink as he tried to not laugh obnoxiously loud, "The only two people here who could pull that off in here are Keith and Allura so unless you want to stay a virgin forever I suggest you stay brunette, big boy."

"Rude."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again if you or a loved one have had any disorders in this story, preferably diagnosed by a physician rather than self-diagnosis, and are comfortable speaking about it, please feel free to point out things you believe should be added or taken out.
> 
> Leave any concerns/questions/criticism/and any more suggestions of what you want to see more of in the future in the comments below and have a fantastic day!
> 
> -Anri


	24. Under the Willow (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance finds himself remembering his past and finding that someone else in his family is in need of moral support.

A small sigh escaped from his lips as he stared at himself in his mirror. He didn't look or even feel right in this. On his body, he wore all the clothing that Nyma had bought for him yesterday after visiting the hospital to give Keith the giant hippo.

Black didn't look good on him at all, especially v-necks. They just made him extremely uncomfortable and feel so vulnerable, unlike his blue sweatshirt that covered him up perfectly so that no skin would show. He looked so pale and exhausted, almost like someone who had gotten stuck in the wild for a week and had been starving for most of it.

He looked so gross with his skinny little body that was so undesirable to other people. No one could ever love him while he looked like this. Did Nyma even truly like him?

They went to the same school since middle school back when he was this chubby little boy that had bad staph infections, who ate way too much Popeye's for his own good and was always struggling in gym class as his peers taunted him and called him lard boy. He always felt like he was worthless whenever he heard that sickening nickname.

Nyma hadn't been as popular as she was now, she had just been that girl in the shadows of the other popular girls she befriended in high school once puberty had finally caught up to her and she learned how to use make-up. She always avoided him in the hallways like his own sister because who wanted to be associated with lard boy after all? He only had three friends and together they made up the losers club. They were the punching bag of the entire school.

At a certain point, after realizing he would never have a girlfriend or boyfriend as long as he looked and smelled the way he did he searched up the quickest ways to lose weight and he came across purging. Purging after every meal to avoid weight gain took over his life and became an involuntary reaction his body had when he tried to eat. Bulimia caused him to lose his place in the losers club and because the one true lonely loser that everyone hated, even his own sister.

He had never imagined himself finding a girlfriend or even having his first kiss. He had felt so thrilled as Keith had helped him feel what it felt like to be kissed by someone Lance cared about. He had found himself getting lost with each little breath he stole, he found his fingers curling up into a dist with Keith's hair as Keith showed him how it felt to be treated so gently by another person and finally, Lance had found himself saying Keith's name in a way he never knew he could.

He would have refused he had never accidentally moaned Keith's name out loud but as he stood in front of the mirror his face was burning bright red to show that he knew. He wasn't stupid, he knew that he had done something that had freaked Keith out enough to bite him so hard. He didn't want to admit his mistake though, who would want to admit that they moaned their friend's name?

He stared at his reflection directly at where the hickey should have been, a piece of him wished to have it back but another part of him was glad it was gone. It reminded him of how Keith had given him his first kiss which had made him feel so special, it made his memories of ever being called lard boy seem like a distant and hazy memory.

It made him feel normal.

He shook his head and slipped off the stupid black v-neck he despised and began to search for a nicer shirt in his room. He must've been rummaging through his dresser for a good few minutes until he noticed the bag Vivian had Keith give him a while ago. It had been tossed into the corner of his room by Nyma when she had come to his house after school earlier today before she left for cheer reasons.

Lance frowned as he lifted the white bag from the floor and glanced inside of it to see some of the clothes he had tried on along with some new ones and a little pink envelope sitting on top of it all. Lance was confused for a moment as his blue eyes searched the bag for any other mysterious objects that could be hiding inside of it.

Then, he lifted the envelope from the bag and placed the bag onto the floor again before he began to tear it open. Inside was a beautifully written note by Vivian and a picture of Keith she had gotten developed. It was the one Lance had liked so long ago by mistake that caused Keith to do the same. He found himself staring at the photo of Keith smiling so brilliantly at the camera near the flowers. Something deep down inside of his body caused tears to fight their way to the surface of his glossy blue eyes the longer he stared down at that beautiful photo that marked the day Keith had thought he defeated cancer forever. He almost forgot to read the note he was so lost in Keith's beauty but he managed to come back to his senses in order to open the folded piece of paper.

Dear Lance,

I hope you don't mind but I brought you all the clothes you apparently looked good in according to Keith and the clothes I saw you eyeing. I really hope you enjoy the special gift I tossed in there, it was hard for me to sneak in Keith's favorite red flannel shirt but I did it because he has way too many flannels and it's also too big on him whether or not he wants to admit it.

Please take care of the photo I left in the envelope, that's the original picture and it holds special meaning to Keith. Hopefully one day you'll hold a special meaning to it too just like he did.

Love,   
Vivian

Lance didn't even think twice as he gently placed the photo and note down onto his dresser and leaned down to sift through the clothing to find the red flannel shirt inside of the bag. He stood up and held it out to the light so that he could have the best view possible of it. It was definitely too big for Keith especially with how long the sleeves were, surely the little model had to roll them up and tuck in his shirt though Lance didn't think he was that neat for something like that. He probably let the shirt hang untucked and he probably only rolled the sleeves to his wrists.

It probably looked really cute on him with the long sleeves extending beyond his little hands and the tail probably extended a little ways past his waist like a boyfriend shirt. Lance slowly slid it on and found himself smiling softly when he found that it fit perfectly on him.

'Thanks Viv,' He thought to himself as he buttoned the shirt up and grabbed a pair of tattered looking white jeans inside of the bag that the little tennis player decided to buy for him.

Thankfully, she never had any problems after the fight between her and Marcia was posted online because no one really cared about it since she was still an amazing player. Though some of her sponsors pulled out many of them stayed and she actually got more from big companies like RedBull and even Starbucks.

He was supposed to be going to his little brother's award ceremony with his entire family including Marcia but he felt like staying home to sit in front of his TV and watch Timmy and the Alien and watch as little Keith had asthma attacks that may or may not have been real along with the alien that looked like a penis.

"Lance, let's go," His mother called out from downstairs making Lance nearly jump out of his skin.

He stumbled around and grabbed his phone from its charger before opening his door to see Vincent wearing his nicer clothing that consisted of dress pants and a violet collared shirt. "Oh, I was going to bust your door down but I guess I don't have to anymore now that you're out and what the hell are you wearing?" His tanned face looked Lance up and down suspiciously before his eyes stopped on Keith's shirt. "I thought you were going to wear what Nyma bought you not something that screams Keith's name."

Lance tried his hardest to not let his embarrassment show as he pushed past his big brother in order to start towards the staircase, "His little sister bought me clothes so I decided to wear them, don't be so rude."

"It was the v-neck wasn't it? It was totally tasteless and did not fit you."

"Yeah," Lance replied sheepishly as he paused at the top of the stairs, "The v-neck was a bit too much and it made me extremely uncomfortable," Lance admitted to his brother with a weak smile.

Vincent chuckled to himself slightly before he ran a hand through his curly hair. "Hey, on the way back do you want me to stop at the hospital so you can say hi to your boy toy?" He asked with seriousness.

Lance turned bright red and stared at his brother in astonishment, "What did y-you just say?" Lance stuttered as he tried to act as if he hasn't heard what his brother said.

The bathroom door behind a very smug looking Vincent opened to show Marcia wearing a yellow dress with her hair curled and make-up was placed gently on her face as if she had actually thought about trying to not look like a Cheeto with slathered on make-up. She leaned against the door and crossed her arms over her chest, "He called Keith your boy toy, we all heard the noises coming from your room and you can't cover up hickeys that well."

Lance felt as if his entire life were flashing before his eyes; he remembered how little care they had put into being quiet when Keith was teaching how to kiss. Everyone must have heard the bed squeaking under their weight.

His face was burning red hot as he stood there bug-eyed and insanely frightened of what else they may have heard from before. "We weren't having sex!" He shouted without meaning to.

Vincent clapped his hand over his mouth and began giggling like a little girl as he placed his hand over his stomach and tried not to die from the lack of air entering his lungs. "Yeah right and Marcia isn't a bitch," he stated.

Marcia glared at her brother and nearly shoved both Vincent and Lance out of her way as she bounced down the stairs, her heels clicking away. "At least I don't spike my own breakfast with alcohol to feel better."

"You'll understand the pain of being an adult one day okay!" Vincent shouted angrily as he chased after his sister.

'Great,' Lance thought to himself as he slumped his shoulders and let out a dreadful sigh, 'my entire family must think that I've got a thing for Keith...'

How did it come to this? This was so embarrassing, surely they all made fun of him when he wasn't around and maybe Nyma even knew about it. Wait, that could be why she wanted him to stay away from Keith in hopes of making sure that nothing happened between them again. Lance felt a piece of himself get this insane feeling of guilt at the thought, Nyma was afraid of losing him.

He trudged his way down to the car outside and crawled into the backseat. He was ready to bang his head against the window repeatedly as Vincent kept smirking at him from the rearview mirror, even his own mother was giving him a little smile showing her amusement.

Marcia sat next to lance with Heidi, Christian, and Patrick on her other side. She didn't seem too interested in poking fun at Lance since her nose was glued to her phone screen as she pounded each key looking a little furious as she sent Lotor text messages left and right. Lance was a tad bit curious but he didn't want to unleash the wrath of Marcia that had given Keith a black eye.

The group chat had been dead, no one had been replying for hours and it felt almost as like ever since he started dating Nyma, everyone was growing more and more apart from him.

What did he do wrong?

"Lancey," Heidi leaned around Marcia and stretched out her hand for Lance with a big, toothy grin on her face. "I wanna hold your hand!" She exclaimed in a giggle as she tugged on Keith's flannel.

Lance looked at her gently before looking over at his twin to see her gazing longingly at the smaller girl's hand as if she was the one who wanted to hold it. She had grown detached from the McClain family when she started to change herself for the sake of others in their freshman year so she really never got a chance to engage in sibling activities like this.

Lance shook his head and grabbed a very shocked Marcia's right hand and made the girl drop her phone into her lap, "I got my hand reserved by Marcia already Heidi, how about you hold her left hand and we can be like a little chain," He offered an ultimatum that seemed to somehow work.

The little brunette girl frowned her teeny tiny little brows before she grabbed onto her big sister's hand and then grabbed Christians who had fallen asleep next to her. "Pat-Pat, hold Chrissy's hand and we can be an even bigger chain!" She ordered her brother.

Patrick, who was wearing a pair of jeans and a nice green shirt glared at his little sister and stuck his tongue out, "No way Heidi, I would never hold Christian's hand even if Vinney made me," He stated defiantly and crossed his arms over his chest before blowing a raspberry that caused his spit to get all over Marcia's left arm.

The junior was not at all happy about this as she squeezed Lance's hand so tightly he actually made a pained squeak that echoed through the car while her blue eyes hardened on the little brother who was now pulling at Heidi's hair.

Lance's mother twisted around in the passenger's seat and pointed her little finger at Patrick and started to become frustrated with the fact she couldn't separate them like Marcia and Lance were trying to do. "No me hagas ir a ya atras muchachito, no puedes hacer que tu hermana se vea como Vincent los sábados en la mañana!" She shouted angrily causing all the kids to freeze up in the back with wide eyes.

Patrick had a clump of Heidi's long hair in his hands, Marcia's hand pushed up against his cheek, and Heidi's foot in his gut. Little Christian remained in a deep slumber during the commotion ma's Lance held his head back from rolling into the hands of the siblings fighting around him but this involved Lance basically leaning in Marcia's lap to reach across Heidi.

Vincent looked over at his mother in pure disbelief before he began to shout, "No animes a los pequeños a burlarse de mí como Marcia," he stated dryly causing Marcia to roll her eyes in annoyance.

Ms. McClain shrugged slightly as her eyes studied her son carefully. Then, she let out a small sigh and turned back to the road to state, "Cariño, ya eres un adulto. Aprender a aguantar críticas."

Marcia let herself giggle a little as Patrick pulled away at last. Lance's mom never got to be as sassy as she just was so that little part had caught him off guard as he slowly sat back against his seat making sure to keep an eye on the two kids who fought every day. Marcia quickly fixed Heidi's hair and placed it into two little pigtails that were to the younger girl's liking.

The elementary school was crowded with parents from all grades here to watch their young child get their awards for doing whatever they were being awarded for. Kids were squealing at the sight of their friends in the giant gymnasium where nearly every seat was reserved or even taken by much larger families. One family gave Lance's family a look of pure disgust as they were passing by to get a seat near the front so they could see Patrick easier.

This type of thing was to be expected at this point in their life if you were from a different race than others you would be viewed as lower. There were no ifs ands or buts about it, it was just how people were nowadays and Lance had grown an immunity to it since he faced worse bullying by his sister's boyfriend on a daily basis at school.

Kids flocked around Vincent as he tried to take a seat with his yawning son in the audience. Since he was a fourth grade teacher many of the students that flocked to him were the female ones who were begging for his attention by showing off their new outfits or even their haircuts, their eyes were sparkling in delight with every compliment he gave to a blushing kid pointing out that he enjoyed their hair or even the new dress. The girls weren't any different from the ones in high school that would battle for their favorite male teacher's attention as if it were a war on campus.

"McClain!" A female voice shouted as Vincent began to look overwhelmed and uncomfortable by a number of students crowding around him. A slightly shorter female teacher with blonde hair and dark brown eyes rushed overlooking absolutely petrified as she managed to pull him away from the students and whisper something to him in a hurry.

Lance eyed his brother as he sat down next to Marcia who was seated at the end of the row. Vincent's face was a light shade of pink and his hands were stuff into his pockets as he nervously smiled and tapped his foot. "Vinney has a crush," Lance whispered to Marcia hoping she wouldn't curb stomp him for even speaking to her in public.

Marcia looked up for a moment and watched as Vincent rubbed the back of his neck and tried to reassure his coworker who was on the verge of tears where she stood. "He's in high school all over again I swear, he can't flirt to save his life can he?" She chuckled slightly as she leaned in close to gossip with Lance.

Lance was taken back by how friendly Marcia was being to him today, especially since she had ignored him all day today at school and even during Tuesday flex time where she would sometimes mumble a few words to him. The old Marcia was coming back slowly but surely.

"He looks like that really nervous kid from our freshman class who would fart nervously during his presentations," Lance pointed out.

Marcia laughed out loud and snorted as she clamped her hand over her mouth to quiet herself down. "Oh my god I can totally see it, but is it me or does she look like she's about ready to hug him?" Marcia asked curiously.

Lance could not believe his eyes; the blonde woman who was so out of Vincent's league was holding his hand and thanking him as she cried a little in front of him. "Holy shiitake mushrooms," Lance censored his words so that Heidi wouldn't repeat them.

Vincent brought the blonde teacher into a little hug and wiped away her tears with his sleeves before he placed an arm around her and began to guide her out. Along the way, he stopped next to Marcia, "We have to go take care of something in the faculty room so I'll be in there. Just text me when Patrick's grade is announced."

He didn't even wait for a reply as he guided the mystery woman of the hour out of sight. "He's going to get lucky," Marcia breathed with wide eyes.

Lance was totally at loss for words as he watched his brother leave the gym with his arm still around the beautiful teacher, "Dude, she's crying!" Lance gently tapped his sister's thigh in disgust, "No way he would ever take advantage of someone in their most vulnerable state."

Marcia rolled her eyes before she turned her focus to him, "So, how far did you get with Keith? It sounded like it got really steamy in your room. I bet Nyma hasn't even gotten as far as him."

Lance wanted to leave the gym and just sit outside in the heat and cry. He hated it when the topic was switched back over to him, especially when it was about something he didn't want to talk about. "Nyma and I are serious, we're going to prom together in two weeks Marcia. I plan on uh-" He blushed before he shook his head violently, "n-nevermind. I'd rather wait."

"Wait for Keith," Marcia stuck the tip of her tongue out jokingly as she nudged her twin gently. "You can't tell me a part of you doesn't like that boy even if it is just a little piece of you. I mean, you two obviously got to second base I would be surprised if you don't end up being in a very complicated love triangle."

"I would never date Keith, even if he did make out with me," Lance rolled his eyes at his sister and awkwardly shifted his position in the plastic chair that was making his butt fall asleep.

Marcia gasped and covered her mouth as she stared at Lance in disbelief, "You guys really did make out?" She whispered, "What happened? Was it good? Did you enjoy yourself or-"

"Stop!" Lance exclaimed as he covered his face and blushed from the cheeks up to his ears. "Don't pester me about it, I'm with Nyma now so it doesn't even matter Marcia!"

Marcia rolled her eyes but before she could say anything her phone chimed leaving her with a confused look on her face. She frowned and opened her phone before nearly dropping it in a mixture of emotions; disbelief, disgust, and maybe even anger.

Lance reached out to touch her shoulder out of worry, "Hey, are you-"

She slapped his hand away and jumped out of her seat nearly stumbling over face first into a first grader. She was on the verge of tears as she grabbed her little purse she had brought along, "I-I-I have to uh- I need to go to the bathroom," She stuttered before rushing off.

Lance watched in confusion as his sister ran away from him, rubbing at her eyes as she stepped outside and disappeared in the light of the evening. "Lance," Lance's mother tapped his shoulder and pointed to where Marcia had disappeared to, "is she okay? Does she need me to talk to her?"

Lance thought back to all those years ago when they went to this very school as innocent kids. There was a spot Marcia would always go to when her friends would make her feel upset or unwelcomed to the group. Lance remembered how he would always find her there and would quietly sit next to her as he talked about how pretty the clouds were. She was never one for expressing her feelings to the world so it just helped if she listened to Lance ramble on aimlessly about something as stupid as clouds.

He slowly rose up from his chair and shook his head at his worried mother, "I have this mom, I'll be back before you know it," He reassured the sweet little woman before he rushed past little kids and parents in the gymnasium.

The air outside was musty and smelt like cement right before it was about to rain. People were walking towards the gym to get to the awards ceremony but Lance, on the other hand, was standing there wild-eyed and breathing heavily as he tried to remember the way to Marcia's favorite spot to cry at. He walked at first, shoes scraping against the sidewalk as he headed towards the playground in the distance before he nearly tripped as he began to run through the dimly lit schoolyard and towards the edge of the forest that surrounded the elementary school. His breathing was ragged but he didn't find himself caring about it as he tried his hardest to reach his sister who had drifted so far away from him only to bounce back after three years. He wasn't ready to let her fade away from his life again. He missed her, he missed being at her side doing things together like any close siblings would do.

He missed the old days.

'Were they being mean to you again?' A memory came back to Lance as he finally passed by the shoddy looking playground and headed towards the great oak tree in the distance.

Marcia was always sitting in the same spot under that tree, pouting with her knees pulled up so that her chin would rest on them as she closed her eyes and remained silent. 'That's fine if you don't answer,' Lance would sit down next to her and just stare into the leaf canopy above them that filtered the sunlight onto their faces like some beautiful pattern. 'Did you know that no cloud looks the same, kind of like people, even twins.'

The small girl at the bottom of the oak tree was nothing but a weeping young woman in a dress who seemed to be brokenhearted and grief-stricken. "Marcia..." Lance breathed heavily as he finally stopped running in order to stand above her.

Her blue eyes were red with tears and her make-up was running down her face like she was straight out of some horror film. "Go away Lance, I want to be alone," She whimpered as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue from her purse.

Lance took a deep breath and collapsed beside his sister, "No you don't," He replied bluntly as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the tree trunk. "I've known you for seventeen years and I can tell you that whether you want to believe it or not, you want someone to listen to you like how you listened to me all those years ago under this very tree."

Silence enveloped the twins as they sat there either breathing heavily or sniffling. He didn't mind silence, it made him feel almost relaxed which was something he rarely ever felt. After a long moment, Marcia finally let out a small and shaky breath as she stared down at the dead leaves they sat on, "I think Lotor is cheating on me."

Lance never knew that one sentence could make him feel like punching a tree but the moment he heard that his bully was cheating on his sister, he was ready to confront the jackass and punch him square in the face. He didn't even care about seeing the evidence to support his sister's claim, if anyone, absolutely anyone messed with her they'd have to deal with him.

"I got a text from him saying that I was gone at a stupid award ceremony and that he was completely free if this whore he meant to text was wanting to hook up," Marcia said with a pitiful sigh as she started playing with her dress. "Why did I think he actually liked me?"

Lance didn't know how to respond between feeling this rage inside of his body that made his adrenaline course through his veins and energized him once again and the feeling of complete worthlessness. He never had a relationship before Nyma so he didn't know what to tell his sister to make her feel better. Why couldn't he just be useful like Keith was when Lance was crying in his room at the new of Lotor dating Marcia. He had been so gentle with him even though they hadn't really been that great of friends before.

Lance closed his blue eyes and took a deep breath, "Dump him, fuck him, he's just a piece of shit Marcia. Any guy who cheats on someone as amazing as you can't be worth shit," He stated.

Marcia shook her head slowly, "You're calling me amazing even though I've caused you so much pain? What are you, a masochist?" She snorted as she wiped at her eyes one last time before gently reaching out to grab his hand. "I'm sorry for everything, I got caught up with trying to be someone I wasn't and it may take me time but I want to go back to being the old me. The me that would always defend you, only if it's okay to you that is. We can hate Lotor together."

"I can get down with that," Lance squeezed her hand gently before he helped her to her feet. They stood there, holding hands as they stared into each other's eyes with a newfound bond between them, "Let's go fix your eyeliner and clean you up. Tomorrow I'll punch Lotor and make him regret ever two-timing you like a little bitch."

"You're going to get your ass beat."

"Most likely, but it'll be in the name of justice."

The two of them laughed and headed back to the school with Marcia's stuff and blocked Lotor from her phone along the way. After fixing her up they got back just in time to see Patrick accepting an award for being a respectful student which astonished the entire McClain household as they gawked at the certificate he received.

Once the ceremony was over Vincent wanted to make two separate stops; one at a local flower shop and the other at the hospital where Lance was forced to go up to Keith's room by his entire family, even Marcia who practically kicked him out of the car. He stood outside of Keith's room, quietly looking in through the door's window at the sight of all his friends laughing together inside as they shared food.

Keith was trying to grab something from Allura who had cut and dyed her hair, Shiro who dyed his fringe to match Allura was trying to stop the two from bickering while Pidge and his brother laughed together over a drink of soda. Hunk was also there, next to Keith as he casually stole some of the Cheetos from the bowl in Keith's lap.

The hippo was at the end of the bed slumped over almost as if Keith had never bothered with having it close to him. Lance looked down at the flowers he was holding in his right hand with a dark expression. Why was he so stupid, they didn't need him to enjoy themselves, did they? He was just a sixth wheel, just kind of there in the group, barely noticeable unless he made his presence known to those around him.

The blue and white daisies he held in his hands were meant to wither away inside of the wastebasket a few feet away from him. He slowly turned around, his heart torn to pieces and began to walk the flowers over to the trashcan until someone called out to him.

"Lance?"

Lance looked up with a downcast expression as he met the gaze of Vivian, Keith's adoptive sister. "Oh, hey Viv," He said weakly.

The short blonde brought him into a close hug before she smiled at the flannel shirt he was wearing though she chose to not say a word about it. "I was just about to go to the party they're throwing Keith. You should come too," She pointed over to the door.

Lance glanced over his shoulder to see Keith pouting with his arms crossed as Pidge held the Cheeto bowl just out of reach. He wanted to go, he wanted to sit next to Keith and tell him about Marcia but he just didn't belong. "Nah," he smiled weakly before he handed the flowers to Vivian, "I got too much homework to do so just give these to Keith for me maybe? Also, why are you throwing him a party?"

Vivian took the flowers gently then looked over at Keith's room, "He's going to make a full recovery if doctor Ari can successfully remove the half of his liver that is being affected by cancer. We're celebrating the second chance he's being given."

Lance felt so happy for a second until he realized none of his friends thought to tell him this. He really was just the afterthought, wasn't he? "Oh, tell him that those were from someone else then, please. I have to go now sorry."

He didn't wait for a peep out of Vivian's mouth as he darted off in hopes of hiding his pain and betrayal from the world. What he didn't know was that Vivian gave Keith the flowers and told him lance had brought them for him. It took Hunk, Shiro, and even Allura to keep the little guy from jumping out of his bed to chase after Lance. Maybe Keith wasn't truly over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this update and I hope y'all enjoyed it :)


	25. White Lies (Allura)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura goes to school with a new style and person at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having issues trying to write this chapter because I was going to have an autistic character to have a more diverse thing going on but I struggled really hard with it and trying to not make them be the stereotypical one often portrayed in literature. I did a really bad job at showing it but Zethrid is the character with autism, please tell me what should be changed or added to her character. She isn't going to be shown much in the story but I wanted to show some more representation you know. I did talk to people who have autism about this and they helped me as much as they possibly could but for some reason, this topic is one of the most challenging ones I have tackled in this story so far. If I offend anyone I would like to make a statement that this was not intended and that I was just trying to have more diversity with my characters and I will gladly edit it to however you all think it should be :)

Allura had been glowing as she walked into school, fingers entwined with Shiro's while people looked at her new hair. No one would have expected the student council president to be the one to chop their hair off and dye it some weird color without any reason to it, or that's at least what Allura had been hearing even as she sat in her first hour class quietly taking notes with a tiny smile curling the corner of her lips up.

"Nice hair," a pink haired girl stated cheerfully from next to Allura.

Allura didn't even have to look up to know who it was. Ezor was the school's little pastel loving freak that could actually pull off the style without a problem. She had long, pink hair she always kept tied back since she was always having to do cheer practice between second and third period and she wore her uniform in the least formal way possible. Her tie was always loose or sometimes not even on at times, her shirt was wrinkled and untucked and her skirt never seemed to be the appropriate length for her. Despite this, the blue-eyed girl was probably one of the more kinder kids at the academy. Aside from Shiro of course.

Allura felt her face heat up as her confidence was boosted by the cheerful and nimble girl. "Thanks, Ezor, you know," Allura checked to make sure that Mr. Slav wasn't paying attention as he rambled on and on about alternate dimension theories instead of teaching physics, "I'm thinking of doing a lavender color after I graduate. I'm not sure, maybe a white fade to purple?"

"Yuh-You should do orange and red, like fire!" Zethrid said pridefully from in front of Allura as she held up her paper to show that she had been drawing fire in the margins of her notes.

Zethrid was a strange girl standing at least six feet tall and happened to be on the boy's football team because of how physically strong she was. She could easily lift up any kid in the room which many people found a bit strange, but Allura didn't mind it since the two of them used to take karate together as kids so they were both strong, except Zethrid happened to be much stronger than her. She had short cut black hair that was shaved on one side and, dark skin just like Allura's and bright brown eyes. She was different from most of the people at school, but no one seemed to really care about it.

Allura reached up and touched her hair gently, rubbing the piece of white strands between her index and thumb. Ezor, on the other hand, nodded enthusiastically at her best friend Zethrid, "Fire colors would look totally awesome on the pres. Actually, anything would!"

Allura blushed as she became slightly bashful, "I think Zethrid would look way better than I could ever," Allura gently tightened her tie and lowered her gaze to her notes as she tried to ignore the heavy feeling in her chest.

Zethrid had a repetitive behavior habit that involved her tapping something whether it be her foot or finger; she was always tapping something. Now, she tapped her index finger against her beige-colored desk as she hummed, "F-Fire colors wo-would look good on anyone!"

"Ladies," professor Slav narrowed his little mouse like eyes as he clapped his hands together in annoyance.

Professor Slav was shorter than Allura. Standing to be about five foot exact he had oily black hair, bags under his brown eyes and his outfit always had some sort of coffee stain. He was one of the best teachers in the entire academy, but none of his students could really tolerate his uh- eccentric for the lack of a better term - personality. He would go on long rants about alternate realities, fret over something as benign as a student dropping his or her own pencil, and sometimes even go into full panic mode if he didn't think he tied his tie correctly.

He was irritating.

"Sorry, sir," Allura's face flushed red as she awkwardly looked down at her notes while the class snickered at the three girls who got scolded.

Slav rolled his beady little eyes as he held up a stack of papers he began passing out to the first student of each row. "There will be a physics field trip the amusement park a few hours away so you kids can figure out how physics plays a role in the rides at Six Flags," Oh yeah, he also had a Swedish accent.

Allura felt her brows furrow slightly as Zethrid handed her the permission slip. She held the white piece of paper in her hands and quietly stared at it as all the guilt inside of her came pouring out of every pore in her body nearly having the stench of her own past sins suffocate her. She never talked about it but she hated amusement parks for a specific reason and she would always avoid them; her problem began at one.

She was only a kid at the time, she had just recently gotten over a violent illness that had forced her to stay in bed for a while so her parents decided to celebrate her wellness the moment she could leave the house. Her parents were the best parents she could ever ask for. Alfor, her father, was someone she would forever respect no matter what. He worked as a doctor, saving lives every day as he made families cry in joy at the sight of their loved one being cured of whatever it was that brought them to Alfor in the first place. Alfor would always do the impossible and make people believe that anything could be possible.

Allura's mother, Bisera, was a self-published author who wrote self-help books and sometimes even the occasional novel that captivated the hearts of her readers. There wasn't a thing she couldn't write about and she always had her audience crying at some point in the story. She was amazing just like Alfor.

Allura swallowed down her pain as she slid the paper away into the folder and tuned Slav out as he talked about the field trip she would not be going on for special reasons. You see, the amusement park was the reason for her parent's death, the reason why she would go through the rest of her life taking the blame for everything even if she knew it somehow wasn't her fault she would make stupid connections that would argue otherwise.

If felt just like yesterday, her memories were still fresh in her mind even after the crash. She remembered every little detail from the moment of impact to the moment she blacked out and awoke in the hospital with Coran at her bedside.

All she wanted was her stuffed animal she had left back at the park and because of her own selfishness, she killed her own parents unintentionally. Her throat felt dry as her eyes began to burn slightly, she was ready to cry, but she didn't want to do it in front of everyone in the class.

Slowly, her hand lifted timidly into the air catching the attention of a few around her, "Allura?" Professor Slav furrowed his tiny brows as he narrowed his brown eyes on her from across the room.

Her lips parted slightly as she tried to summon the courage to excuse herself, but the only thing that came from her lips was the quiet sound of her own self-condemnation. Her hand dropped to her side as she held back her tears and lowered her head so that no one could see the utter shame plastered across her face like a Van Gogh painting. She was pathetic, even her stomach could attest to that as it tossed and churned about inside of her almost as if it were lost in the dangerous waters of the Pacific, rocking with the terrifyingly powerful waves.

Ezor raised her bubblegum pink eyebrow at her slightly before she looked back up at the sloth looking teacher with the rat-like nose. "I think she's going to be sick, I mean really sick," She pointed out with a disgusted tone in her voice.

Slav scrunched up his nose and crinkled his face up in a mixture of disbelief and disgust, "Oh no, we cannot have her puking all over my floor, somebody could slip!"

"Just clean it up man," a kid in the back of the room groaned. "Let her go to the bathroom if you don't want to be tasked with barf duty."

Slav rushed over to the door doing his weird little waddle and opened it to usher out Allura with the wave of his hands, "You are dismissed, young lady!" He exclaimed urgently.

Allura didn't waste any time as she sluggishly got out of her chair and began to stumble out the classroom as she struggled to keep her breakfast down from her and Shiro's little coffee date this morning. Her legs were like jelly as she struggled to maneuver around the area, her vision went in and out of blurriness causing her to nearly lose her balance as she kept her hands firmly on her gut and mouth to prevent any accidents from happening on the floor.

Her mind swam with the words of that shadow that lurked behind her, smiling as it watched how it poisoned her system with lies and made a cold sweat run down her forehead. Were they lies though? They all felt too true to not be a lie.

'You killed your parents.'

If she hadn't been such a selfish brat back then and cried about not having her stuffed animal, her parents would be there with her now. Her father would be saving lives and making people smile and her mother would be helping people through the words from her heart.

'Your life isn't worth anything more than a piece of torn paper.'

It was true. She never accomplished anything amazing in her life, she's only met academic accomplishments, but what the hell would that do for her in the long run? Her entire life outside of the academy was in shambles; she lived in the shadow of a giant lie named Richard Lindon that towered over her and snickered menacingly down at her as his claws wrapped around her body suffocating her.

'You should have never been born.'

This was the one that caused her tears to begin dripping onto the floor as she slammed her shoulder against the bathroom door. She nearly collapsed as she threw herself over the trashcan and began to cough and let everything go from her body. She shouldn't have been born. She truly should have died in that car back then.

It was always about her, her parents went to the amusement park for her, her parents brought her favorite stuffed animal for her, they even turned back around to get it to silence her cries from the backseat. If she hadn't been there, they would have never gone to their own deaths like that, they would be alive and well. Shiro wouldn't have so much pain in his life from his memories resurfacing because of her stupid mistakes, Lindon wouldn't be assaulting her and causing his family so much pain.

She was the root cause of all the pain and suffering that went on around her in the world. Coran never got a chance to marry the woman of his dreams and start his own family because he took her in instead. He would probably be in Argentina with her now if only Allura hadn't been born. She was a giant screw up, no she was a waste of breath and a fuck up. She wanted to end everyone's suffering, but she couldn't without feeling guilty of the issues that came with taking one's life.

People would be in great grief, all of Coran's sacrifices would be in vain, Lindon would just find a new student to harass maybe even worse. Her parent's deaths would have been worthless.

She wanted an out but she couldn't take one.

She was stuck in the shadows of her sins, burdened with the task of carrying them forever until her final breath. Until the moment she was placed into the dark earth with a rose in her cold hands and a face full of peace.

She slumped down on the floor, skin pale, eyes dull, and her body shaking to its core. She wanted to just sit there in the bathroom and cry yet she had no energy to do so she just sat there and stared at her shoes with a blank face.

She wanted to go home.

Her wish was heard, she was found by a girl from the student council who graciously helped her to the nurse's office and even called Coran for Allura. She quietly sat at her kitchen table with a bowl of soup in front of her face and Coran sitting across from her eating his own food.

She had no appetite and she had no willpower to go to the group meeting today either. She had the power to just sit down and stare into space, she was pathetic.

"You need to eat something sweetie," Coran said in concern as he looked up at Allura who was wearing her PJs and a blanket wrapped all around her body even though it was hotter than hell outside. It made her feel secure. "If you don't you'll just get sick again. You know, when I was a young whippersnapper like you I would always..."

Allura tuned her uncle out as she thought about her friends. They were all making some sort of progress unlike her. Keith was going into surgery in the next two days, Pidge knew who he was now, Shiro was trying to open up to her, and Lance actually managed to keep at least one meal down now but what was she doing in all this?

She was wallowing in her own self-pity like a complete selfish idiot. All she had done was cut and dye her hair. She practically did nothing compared to all of them.

She frowned slightly before excusing herself from the table in order to lock herself in her room even though Coran tried to get her to come back. She didn't want to listen to anyone, she just wanted to read and imagine being someone else for the time being.

She needed a break from life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter was lacking. Like I said, I was struggling really hard with this chapter and nearly scrapped it out of frustration. I have the self-esteem of a chicken nugget so when I feel I can't write something properly I really beat myself over it but I kept myself from disregarding the chapter and starting anew with another Lance chapter.
> 
> Please tell me what to add or to take out for the autism parts of Zethrid's character. I really don't want people to feel like I don't represent their condition appropriately because shit if I do, let me know.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	26. Questioning Breaths (Keith//Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith struggles with his ever growing feelings for Lance while Lance begins to question his sexuality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit different from the rest and the next two chapters after this will be much different from the rest of the story but uh, the 'different' part of this chapter is at the end. I am trying to refrain from spoilers but basically, it is about discovering one's sexuality so if you are not comfortable with that then just skip the last bit of the Lance part.

Where to start?

Keith missed being at home where he could quietly watch his koi pond and feed his hungry fish, he missed being able to just laze around in his bed, and he missed that adrenaline rush he got when he stole something at the store with his no good pals he hadn't seen in quite some time. He was missing the old life he had left behind because of stupid cancer forcing him to be in the stupid hospital with all these stupid rules, like one being that he couldn't leave his room. Stupid, stupid, stupid and confining rules that restricted him from being himself.

He sat in his hospital bed like any other day here and messed with the pink fluff on Mr. Bubble's head giving him different hairstyles and just took out all his mental frustration on the stuffed animal. He was so angry. At one point Keith nearly threw himself onto the floor and screamed, he could not take being confined to a single room forever. The only thing that seemed to calm him down were the flowers next to his bed that Lance had brought him.

They were just so beautiful. He hated roses, he thought they were overly cliché and gross to stare at so looking at the lilies Lance gave him made his chest warm up. He liked lilies because they were just different than most flowers people would buy. They weren't overused like roses, but they weren't as vibrantly colored as daisies, they were just right. Keith relaxed slightly as he stopped styling Mr. Bubble's fluff into a Mohawk and gazed dreamily at the flowers being caressed by the afternoon sunlight filtering in through his closed shades.

"I miss you..." Keith quietly whispered as he reached out to touch a petal gently.

The texture of it reminded him of Lance's hair and how soft it was. He wanted to run his fingers through those coffee colored locks all day and just dreamily gaze into his tourmaline-blue eyes that seemed to captivate him oh so much. Now that Keith thought about it, he could look at anything blue and somehow see Lance's face. He could gaze at photos of the planet Neptune and imagine Lance as this dazzling sea god with piercing blue eyes and a smile gentler than a newborn puppy.

Keith felt his face grow hot as he smiled and wiggled around in his bed out of frustration and excitement. "Ugh, why are you so beautiful!" He whined out loud as he buried his face into the pink hippo. God, was he falling in love with Lance?

The longer he couldn't see him the stronger his feelings became and the more his mind wandered to the time where he had Lance under him as they shared that steamy moment together. He loved the feeling of his hair being tugged on as Lance's body arched up into his and allowed Keith to shower him in gentle yet rough kisses. He wanted to go farther than what he had with Lance that day. He imagined what would've happened if he hadn't been so shocked to hear his name be spoken in Lance's voice so... so passionately.

Keith would've probably done things he never imagined himself doing with anyone, especially Lance. He would've gone all the way to a certain point before having to stop though regretfully, but he knew exactly what he would have done to Lance if he hadn't gotten so spooked by the sound of his voice being spoken in such a tone.

He winced in bed as he felt that same feeling return back to him from the time Lance moaned his name. "Shit," Keith sat up with a freaked out expression on his face as he looked around for something to help him but he just couldn't figure out how to make his excitement go away. "Fuck fuck fuck," He whispered as he buried his face in his hands in embarrassment.

He bit his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut as he began to take deep breaths like he had done back at Lance's house. He didn't want his doctor or even the janitor to walk in and see him with a freaking tent pitched under his blanket, it was too damn embarrassing.

After a few moments, he felt himself calm down a little until his concentration got broken by the noise of his door opening to see Pidge waltzing in like he owned the place. Keith scrambled to pull a pillow over himself as he tried to hide it from Pidge who carried a laptop in his hands as he typed something into it.

"You know I'm really happy, today was teacher work day at my school because it gave me time to just do some research on this important project I've been working on," Pidge plopped himself down on the bed next to Keith without even glancing up to look at the red-faced boy. "I think you'd love to get a look at this-"

"Pidge," Keith said as he ground his teeth, his heart thundering in his chest as he clutched the pillow against his body, "Now is not the time for your silly games," he growled, purple eyes glaring down at the small freshman who looked confused.

Pidge furrowed his brows as scanned Keith over for a brief second before his face turned bright red. He jumped off the bed and snapped his computer shut in embarrassment, "Oh my god, oh my god that's so gross Keith, ew!" He shouted as he nearly tripped over himself trying to slide the privacy curtain between them. "You're going to make me vomit all over myself if you're excited about who I think it is, but congratulations in other news!"

Keith grabbed Mr. Bubbles firmly before he chucked it into the silhouette of Pidge on the other side of the curtain, "Shut the hell up you little pest!" He shouted in embarrassment and hid under his blanket with his pillow between his legs. This was literally the worst thing to ever happen to him.

"It's only natural for you to get a boner thinking about La-" Pidge struggled behind the curtain as he tried to pick up Mr. Bubbles without dropping his computer.

Keith stopped his friend before he could finish his sentence, "I wasn't thinking about that asshole!" He whined before he bit his lip and tried not to cry from how embarrassed he was that Pidge saw him like this. "Just shut up and pretend you never saw me!"

There was a silent moment in the room where the only thing Keith could hear was his heart beating in his chest so roughly as he tried to keep himself from having a mental breakdown in front of Pidge. This was worse than having cancer.

Pidge let out a little sigh from behind the curtain before he slid it open in order to place the hippo onto the bed gently. "I was going to the meeting and I just wanted to give you something before I left, but it can wait until tomorrow. Also," Pidge rolled his brown eyes as he reached over to grab Keith's phone, "You're going to be attending the meeting through facetime so you need to lose your little buddy downstairs before I call you."

Keith groaned pathetically under the sheets as he quietly wished for Pidge to leave because it was way too hot under there, "I can't get rid of it now that I've seen you here Pidge. You destroyed my mental image of Lance already, there's no way I can even think about him without worrying about you barging in on me again."

"So," Pidge smiled slyly as he began to make his way to the door, "You were actually thinking of Lance then, huh? Just look at photos of him or some weird shit you kids do to let your stress out."

Keith's face turned red hot as he realized he accidentally told Pidge that he had been thinking about Lance. He groaned and pressed his palms against his face and gasped at how hot it was. It was like a freaking grill and the heat under the sheets was so not helping him! "S-Shut up, just get the hell out of here already!" Keith shrieked.

Pidge didn't even say a word as he shut the door behind him to leave Keith in the silence of his own room once more, alone with his thoughts and his uh- troubles. He slowly peeked over the edge of the sheets to see that there was no one else in the room with him. Letting out a small sigh of relief he pulled the curtain all around his bed while holding his pillow close to his body before he crawled back into bed and grabbed his phone.

The meeting was to start in ten minutes, there was no way he could do this in ten minutes! He let out a little squeak of frustration as he quickly opened his text messaging app and entered in Lance's name to pull up his stupid little draft he thought he had deleted. This was enough to make him calm down enough to think straight, well as straight as he could.

Keith: Lance, I have to confess this to you or I'll never be able to get over it. I like you, not as a friend but as something more.

Keith's body seemed to relax slightly at the sight of the text as his face cooled down and his heart dropped slightly in his chest. What was wrong with him? This was a one-sided crush, wasn't it? Lance could never like someone like him, he was just some idiot who dressed like someone he wasn't and acted all badass when in reality he just wanted someone to hold him close and never let him go.

A small teardrop slid down Keith's cheek as he sniffled at the text he never sent to Lance, why was he like this? He always wanted things he could never have. Lance was straight and happily with Nyma even though she was just a bitch, Keith would never able to compete with someone like her who captured a boy's heart with just two words.

What could he do against someone like that?

Slowly Keith lowered his phone and brought his blanket to his face to wipe away his tears. He wanted someone, no not just anyone, he wanted Lance to be next to him, to hold him and kiss him and tell him that no matter what happens he'll always be at his side.

That's all he ever wanted, after all, someone to be there with him no matter how hard times got. He wanted the moral support he was never allowed to have grown up and had someone love him like no one else ever did.

Keith laughed slightly to himself as he wiped away at his eyes and took in a shaky breath, "Don't be so stupid Keith, you've done just fine without anyone like that all these years. You don't need him," he tried to repeat that to himself as if it could help him somehow stop crying over Lance, the person he could never have.

It didn't work, but it did help him with his other issues.

A knock sounded on the door causing Keith to wiped his face clean and use the hippo to shield the world from his red and blotchy face. "Pardon me, I'm here to pick up your trash," the janitor spoke in a heavy southern accent.

Keith sighed as he relaxed slightly, "My food tray is on the table near the bathroom," He mumbled.

He never actually saw the janitor since he was quiet most of the time about getting Keith's garbage, but he felt calmer at the sound of his weird voice. "Thank you kiddo," the janitor barked.

Keith's purple eyes slowly followed the large and stocky build of the silhouette on the green curtain as the janitor started to take care of the waste in Keith's room. He just sat there quietly, sniffling now and then as he tried to get himself to be normal once more. The man stopped moving for a moment whenever he heard Keith's sniffles, but shook his head and continued to work.

"Say," Keith mumbled as he played with the pink fluffy fur on Mr. Bubbles quietly, "Do you have any kids, Mr. Janitor?" He asked.

He wasn't really looking to hear a long explanation or even a 'Yes', he just wanted someone to talk to right now and this was the only person around. The janitor let out a short snicker and he stood up with the trash in hand, "Yeah, I actually have a son, but he moved out a long time ago and hasn't talked to me in years."

Keith frowned slightly as he lifted his head up a few inches to stare at the silhouette with purple eyes burning with curiosity, "Why did he leave?" Keith clasped his hand over his mouth and instantly felt guilty about asking a question like that which wasn't something he felt often. "S-sorry!"

The janitor put the uneaten food into the large trashcan he toted around and leaned on it with a loud sigh, "Don't worry about it kid," the man said quietly before he continued, "Time just got away from us and he moved on with his life while I stayed stuck up in the past."

Keith quietly moved his gaze to the window and watched as the breeze outside shook the leaves on the trees. "What's he do now? Occupational, I mean."

"I don't know, I see him now and then in the city but I've never talked to him."

Keith felt sympathetic towards the guy, he was in a similar situation after all, but at least the old guy got to see his son, right? Or perhaps it was a burden on him, seeing his own flesh and blood every day but never being able to speak to him, it had to weigh down heavily on his heart.

"Where's your parents then kiddo, if you don't mind me asking."

Keith's own heart felt like it weighed a ton as he felt his body become heavy in grief, "I...I don't know, sir," Keith said quietly as his purple eyes shifted back to the hippo in his arms. "My mother left me and my father after I was born and my father abandoned me, I wouldn't know where they are. Hell, I can't even remember what they look like, so they could be right in front of me and I would never know."

The janitor stood there in silence as he got ready to leave the room. Then, with a deep sigh, he spoke one last time, "Maybe you'll see them one day kid. Just maybe."

Keith would've said something but he was caught off guard by his phone ringing showing that the therapy session was ready to start. Keith fixed his hair and crossed his legs before he sat up straight clearly forgetting that he was even holding Mr. Bubbles against his chest still before he picked up the phone and was greeted by the sight of the entire group minus Allura.

He couldn't see Pidge simply because Pidge was holding the phone out to the group so that everyone could see Keith and frankly, Keith couldn't help but feel like everyone in the group was having a shitty day like him. Especially Lance. Lance had a bruised cheek and his lip was split and had dried blood on it, needless to say, Keith felt so angry staring at him because he knew it was the work of Lotor.

Hunk sat next to him with a guilty expression on his face and a few bruises on his own face though not as severe as Lance's and would definitely disappear by the end of the week. Shiro had a spot empty between him and Lance, Keith's spot, and he looked worried as he tapped his foot and glanced up now and then at where Allura would have been next to Pidge if she had been there.

"Hey Keith," Olivia smiled and waved at the phone making Keith scowl slightly, he just really hated her optimism, okay. "I'm glad to hear that your surgery will be tomorrow, how do you feel?" She asked.

Keith stared blankly into the camera and wondered if she could even see him with her stupid little eyes. Hell, even he was looking at the little spot that showed his face, he looked almost like he had literally climbed straight out of hell. His skin was still between the nasty color of a pale yellow and the whites of his eyes still had the yellow spots; how did she think he was doing? He was literally dying internally as they spoke!

"I feel like Beyonce," Keith said sarcastically as he narrowed his eyes at the ginger woman.

Olivia clapped her hands together in that annoying way she always did to start the meeting, "Great, so let us begin with discussing everything you all have done together!" She then narrowed her eyes onto Lance for a long moment before she smiled at Pidge, "You can begin Katie-"

"Oh um," Pidge cleared his throat awkwardly and shook the camera slightly giving Keith motion sickness. "I go by Pidge now as my name, Shiro actually helped me take a step forward with my gender dysphoria and I've felt much better after becoming Pidge thanks to everyone's support," Pidge didn't have to turn the camera towards his face for Keith to know the short kid was smiling sheepishly.

Olivia's smile softened slightly as she stared at Pidge with a gentle look on her face, "Well, welcome to the group Pidge. We all accept you for who you are on the inside. Now, Lance what did you and Hunk do?"

Was that supposed to be a rhetorical question, because the entire group knew for a fact that Lance hadn't spent any time with Hunk ever since he started dating Nyma, actually, he hadn't spent time with any of them and it frustrated Keith just seeing him sitting there twiddling his thumbs as he made up some blatant lie.

"We went and got coffee, he met this nice girl named Shayla and -" Lance winced as Keith grumbled loudly in annoyance to cut him off.

Keith was glaring at Lance from behind Mr. Bubbles, everyone's gaze on the phone screen he was displayed on, "Really Lance? Are you actually going to lie when everyone knows what really happened? And her name is Shay, not Shayla you asshole."

Olivia's eyes widened as she looked between Keith and Lance, "Keith shut up, you wouldn't understand what I've been through today so don't try to start any unnecessary drama," Lance glared around Hunk to stare at Keith with narrowed blue eyes.

"It isn't unnecessary if the root cause of it all is your problematic girlfriend," Keith replied with his stupid voice crack showing that he was getting really heated up over it all. God, he just really wanted to choke that jerk. "Pidge, throw me at Lance since I can't actually hit him!" He commanded the small teen.

"What, no! I'm not breaking my phone so you can digitally hit your boyfriend!" Pidge exclaimed from behind the screen and began moving around as Lance got up to grab the phone away from Pidge.

"Then I'll throw him in the garbage where he belongs!" Lance shouted as he leaned over Pidge and grabbed for the phone only for Pidge to shove him away with his little legs.

"Don't touch my shit!" Pidge shouted angrily and Keith watched as Lance fell over onto his rear with an angry expression on his face. "Next time I'll kick you hard enough so that you won't have any kids!"

The room was in chaos at this point as Pidge dropped his phone and began to wrestle with Lance as the Cuban boy lunged for the phone. Shiro jumped up in order to pull Pidge away from Lance, but the kid managed to jam his elbow into Shiro's gut and spring free where he went right back to Lance who had successfully grabbed the phone with a triumphant look before letting out a girly shriek as Pidge shoved his face into the ground.

"I said don't touch my stuff you dickweed!" Pidge shrieked.

Olivia was seen in the background of the video struggling to get Pidge and Lance to stop wrestling, but Keith couldn't get a clear view as he tried not to throw up from the camera sliding across the floor of the church, the video spinning. When it finally came to a stop Keith could see Hunk holding Lance in a headlock with the most serious face he had ever seen on the boy's face. He looked like he had had so much rage inside of him waiting to spill over and yet he seemed so calm; it was like Keith's worst nightmare.

"Lance," Hunk said forcefully as he held his squirming friend still, "Cut it out man, don't let your anger out on the group," his voice was calm yet his face screamed murder.

Keith was still trying to get his head to stop swimming around from nausea as Pidge grabbed his phone and sat back down looking like a wreck. "So," Olivia said awkwardly as she straightened out her bright colored outfit that made her look like a walking highlighter. "Keith, what went on with you and Allura?"

"Well apart from me nearly dying," Keith groaned as he clutched his stomach. God, he hated Lance for making him feel so sick. "I think we became friends."

"That's great news," Olivia clapped quietly where she sat and fished around inside her bag for her clipboard. Her red brows furrowed together as she pulled it out and read it. "We'll be talking about how your problems directly impact your social life and what you believe you could improve on."

Cancer, it made people who didn't care about you before pity you and give you fake 'get well soon' cards. "I'll go first," Lance raised his hand before he crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at the floor. "Bulimia makes people who already bullied you look at you in an even worse way because you're that fat kid who pukes after each god damn meal just to be skinny and desirable. It makes you face constant discrimination and hate. I question whether I deserve it and half the time I fucking do, is that what you want to hear?" He glared at Olivia with so much pain in his eyes that Keith wanted to hop in his wheelchair and cart himself down to the church and hug the kid.

Keith was going to punch Lotor the first chance he got. Olivia stared at Lance with wide eyes like all the other people in the circle except for Hunk who apparently knew exactly what Lance was going on about. Olivia didn't dare write a single word down as she set the clipboard down and gave Lance her full attention. "Why don't you do something with the bullies like report them, and why do you lead yourself to believe you deserve it?" She asked out of genuine concern.

Lance shifted uncomfortably in his chair before he began to fidget with a piece of his brown hair, "Adults don't care about us, the staff only cares about their paychecks. Student drama stays exactly how it is and the school would rather bury the bully reports than face them because the more they deal with it the more they've got to disclose how the student body is and their ratings drop. Bad ratings mean less money, less money means bad paychecks. Do you honestly think they truly care about their students rather than their paychecks?"

Olivia frowned slightly as she nodded quietly in her seat, "I hate to admit you're right, but it wasn't that long ago when I was in high school myself so I know exactly what you're talking about but," her gaze hardened on Lance suddenly as she straightened her posture, "Why do you blame yourself so much?"

"Because if I didn't vomit every single little calorie I consume," Lance's face fell as his voice shrunk in volume, clearly he had become self-conscious about his feelings, "People wouldn't view me as a weird kid, no, that one disgusting kid."

"I don't think you're disgusting," Shiro piped up as he played with his white fringe, "I think you're just struggling to find the real you right now."

Olivia shifted her gaze over to the senior, "What makes you say that?"

Shiro shrugged slightly as he remained silent for just a moment, "He's here for a reason just like the rest of us, he's here to get the help he needs by talking about his issues so him just showing up is proof he wants to save himself from the thing that controls his life...right?"

"It's like those mazes scientists put lab rats into, but in this case, Lance is the rat and his condition is the scientist," Pidge offered a comment to the group.

Keith found himself thinking about being stuck in a maze created by his cancer and shivered. It was too real and it made his entire body shake slightly to even think about. "Anxiety makes people look at me and think how pitiful I am," Hunk started as he twiddled his thumbs. "All I want are people who would be alright with just talking to me without feeling like they have to cater to me and I wish that I didn't always feel so self-conscious about everything I do constantly sweating over the thought of whether or not I would get judged by my peers, you know?"

"It's like that with my gender dysphoria as well," Pidge chimed in as he continued the discussion, a large smile painted Olivia's face. "People look at me and judge me because of my condition and how I want to be someone else. They chalk it up to be me just not wanting a period, a chest, or even the feminine facial features I have, but in actuality, it's something so much more serious than me not being comfortable with myself," Pidge took a deep breath to calm his shaky voice. "Sometimes I'll wake up and wish that I could get some type of uterine cancer just so that I could lose the parts of my body that make me feel so disgusted and ashamed of myself, no offense Keith."

"If I had cancer in my vagina I would give it to you no strings attached," Keith stated bluntly and he truly meant exactly what he said.

Lance looked at the camera with a face full of confusion, "Keith you're a guy though, you don't have a vagina."

Keith, for some peculiar reason, he glanced down at himself before looking back up at the phone, "Yeah but like if I had one I mean, I would totally give my cancer to Pidge, you know? Help a brother out."

"That's not how it works, Keith."

"But I'm just saying if I could I-"

"How does cancer affect your social life, Keith?" Olivia's eye twitched slightly out of annoyance as she tried to get the discussion back on subject.

Keith fell silent as he thought about it for a while. To be honest, he didn't know because he never had any real friends before cancer made its appearance the first time, so when he got it all of his 'friends' pretended to care simply because his family was rich and famous. "I wouldn't know, my career influences my social life more than my cancer does."

Olivia frowned slightly as she scribbled on her clipboard. Keith really wasn't in the mood to lie today, not after listening to everyone else talk about their social issues with their peers; it wouldn't have been fair to them if he made up a sob story for the pity points.

"What makes you say that?" Olivia pressed as she tapped her pen against the clipboard.

Keith held Mr. Bubbles closer to him and looked away from the camera shyly, "Because people pretended to be my friend in hopes of being able to be famous, but when I got cancer they tried even harder by acting like they cared with roses and the same generic 'get well soon' cards. Half of them thought my name was Kendrick, amazing friends right?"

No one really knew how to respond to this and it was evident from their grim expressions. Maybe all of them had someone sort of like that in their lives and hearing that Keith's friendships were all built on someone's selfish desires resurfaced bad memories.

Keith was thankful for Shiro to change the subject as quickly as he had done, it took the spotlight off of him. "PTSD makes being in relationships one of the hardest things imaginable because your partner is too scared to even hold your hand at times out of fear of causing an episode," Shiro sighed deeply. Everyone knew he was talking about Allura even without him saying it outright. "It makes my school life hard because all my teachers try to associate all my bad grades with my illness and never take into consideration that I may just be a bad test taker. Students also stay away from me thinking I'm some sort of freak who lies about his own father for attention."

All of their worries were things other teens suffered from on a daily basis by why did it feel like it happened to them just way too often. Maybe because it was the fact that it was natural for kids their age to feel that everything happening to them was the absolute worse case scenario. The therapy session ended early when Olivia had a phone call from one of the staff members at the support group prompting her to give everyone a piece of candy and tell them each individually how important they were as people.

It was an anticlimactic end to a session that had gotten the most progress done within an hour than the rest. Everyone had their buddies switched as well; Shiro was with Keith, Lance was with Pidge, and Allura was with Hunk. As Lance started to leave the room Keith begged Pidge to pass him over to the tall boy and with much reluctance, the short freshman did so.

"What do you need Keith? Don't you have a chemo session or something to go to?" Lance grumbled as he stood next to the bathrooms with half his face in the camera with a dirty look on it.

Keith's throat felt dry as he tried to talk to the boy, "I wanted to say thank you, Lance," He said hoarsely.

A thin little mocha colored eyebrow lifted itself on Lance's dark skin in a movement of pure curiosity. "Thank me for what?" He asked.

Keith hadn't noticed it before, but Lance's teeth had been turning yellow from all the acid from his condition. He sighed deeply and raised Mr. Bubbles's little arm and waved, then he spoke in the worst southern accent he could muster, "For being a friend and not giving up, partner! Even if that asshole Lotion-"

"Lotor."

"Lotion," Keith growled as he continued, "bully's you, don't forget I'm always here to listen even if Nyma doesn't want you to be by my side."

Lance smiled slightly at the camera as he stared down at Keith trying to not blush out of embarrassment of being so childish. "Of course, we're friends right?"

"Virgin bros for life?"

"Virgin bros."

Keith felt a smile cross his face as he stared at Lance through the screen. He really liked this boy a lot, but he didn't want to ruin Lance's relationship with Nyma out of Keith's own selfishness. He wanted Lance to be happy and him being happy meant being with Nyma. He was fine with it, but only if it meant Lance got the happy ending Keith wanted him to have.

Lance gently touched the end call button with the picture of a smiling Keith on the screen. He wasn't going to lie to himself, seeing Keith with the hippo he had bought for him made Lance feel happy. Especially since the lilies he had also bought were on the table next to Keith's bed. Just the sight of the things Lance bought for Keith made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Are you two done yet?" Pidge asked as he tapped his foot on the floor impatiently.

Lance nodded and handed over the phone carefully, "Sorry about earlier, I had a rough day at school if you couldn't tell."

It was the truth. He had decided to punch Lotor square in the face for what he had done to Marcia and Lance may or may not have called the jock out on his sketchy ways like how he touched Lance in more than just a bully type of way. This didn't go over well and ended with Lance having a busted lip and a bruised cheekbone, but Hunk tried to stop the fight as well causing him a few injuries. Lance felt guilty for causing Hunk so much trouble, but at the same time, it had felt so amazing to slam his fist into Lotor's face.

Pidge stared at Lance for a short moment before he let out a little sigh, "You're fine, but hey," he furrowed his little eyebrows together and stuck his index finger into the air, "don't touch my shit, Lance."

Lance made a choleric face as he sighed deeply, "I know, trust me I want kids when I'm old enough so I won't screw with your things!" He grumbled.

Pidge smiled in content as he slid his phone into his pocket. "I was doing this thing for Keith and I wanted your opinion on it if you wouldn't mind," He stated as his cheeks flushed red and he became embarrassed.

Lance raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side as he crossed his arms over his chest, "And that is?"

Pidge kicked at the floor of the church, whispered a swear under his breath, and kept his eyes away from Lance. "I was searching for Keith's biological father and I've gotten pretty far within a day; he didn't really try to cover his tracks up all that well."

"Wait," Lance dropped his voice into a quiet whisper as he saw Hunk and Shiro walking towards them. "You're doing that for him? What the hell did he do to get a big favor like that from someone like you?"

Pidge scowled as he most likely resisted the urge to punch Lance, "It doesn't matter what he did to make me do it. I just want to know if you believe Keith would want to see him if I found him, I already found his mother..."

Lance glanced up at the two teens approaching them warily before he grabbed Pidge's shoulders and pulled him into the bathroom. They stumbled into a stall where Lance locked the door behind them and Pidge looked absolutely mortified to even be in the dirty place where men were supposed to be; not someone like him.

"Lance!" Pidge exclaimed in shock as he tried to keep enough distance between him and the toilet without touching Lance. "I'm not supposed to be in here!" He shrieked in fear.

"Listen," Lance covered Pidge's mouth with his hand and held his index finger up to the short kid's face with a stern look. "I can't speak for Keith at all, but I think you should tell him that you do have knowledge about his family depending on what it is. If it's nothing but bad news, spare the kid, I mean he's suffered enough as if you know," He listened for the noise of the bathroom door creaking open for just a second before he continued, "What happened to his mother?"

He slowly lifted his hand from Pidge's face and watched as the pale freshman used his green sweatshirt sleeve to wipe his face in disgust, "Okay first of all," Pidge reared back and slammed his fist into Lance's shoulder roughly causing the lanky boy to stumble into the stall door in a loud bang. "Don't ever put your damn hand on my mouth, I do not know what you do with your hands and frankly I don't care, but if you must know about Keith's mother, she's," he hesitated for a moment before shaking his head and continuing, "She's dead Lance. She died giving birth to Keith and he doesn't even know it. His father lied to him."

"How the hell do you know this?" Lance exclaimed but before he could even get the answer he sought for, Shiro came bursting into the bathroom in anger.

"Lance, what are you doing to Pidge in there?" He demanded as he knocked on the door loudly.

"He's not doing anything," Pidge spoke up before adding a sarcastic little, "Dad."

"Then why did he grab you like that?" Hunk asked quietly and Shiro's anger began to dissipate.

Lance didn't know what to say, he was still shocked at the news of Keith's mother. How could she be dead when Keith had lived believing she probably had a new life without him? Lance stared into Pidge's mocha eyes for a moment and practically begged the midget to help him lie.

"Lance was uh-" Pidge frowned slightly as he began mouthing different words to Lance asking what to say, but when they couldn't agree on a lie he got fed up, "We were discussing how to get rid of his hemorrhoid problem, it's uh- it's really really bad, Hunk."

Lance's ears felt like they were roasting in the sun outside suddenly as he felt his cheeks flush red hot and his heart nearly leaped out of his chest like one of those overdramatic cartoons. God, why would a science nerd like Pidge decide to say hemorrhoids out of all the things in the world; hell diarrhea was better!

"Oh," Hunk said slowly, "I'm sorry man, that really sucks."

Shiro decided that anything Pidge said was a lie and used his father voice to scold the kid through the ugly green metal door that kept them apart, "Pidge, don't make up such an embarrassing lie."

Pidge turned bright red as he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hands into little fists, "Fine!" He shouted, "We were talking about my period okay, are you both happy now?"

Lance felt his embarrassment disappear just as fast as it had appeared and then it dawned on him that Pidge still had those little things all people with his body had. He hadn't connected the dots before, but now he could see it; the mood swings during the meeting and the excessive anger and swearing. The poor kid looked like he was about to explode from how red his face was and Lance felt an intense feeling of sympathy for her to the point where he would do anything.

And that's what he did, he did that little anything for the little guy. He sucked in a deep breath and adjusted his jeans before he ruffled Pidge's hair. "We were talking about my hemorrhoids Shiro, I felt like you guys would have been really grossed out if you overheard me talking about how hard it was to take a sh-"

"No," Shiro raised his voice to silence Lance and Lance listened as the senior shuffled himself out of the bathroom, "Just no."

That's a quick way to get rid of a friend, talk about your nonexistent hemorrhoids and you're sure to lose what little of a social life you had. "Dude," Hunk said slowly as he too began to leave the room, "Don't be so weird about it."

Lance listened as the door shut behind the two boys leaving Lance and Pidge alone in the bathroom stall. He didn't exactly know what to do in a situation like this especially when Pidge was on the verge of tears so he did the one thing he could only think of doing, he hugged Pidge closely and held him in his arms for as long as the small teen would let him.

"You know," Lance said with a small smile on his face as Pidge sniffles in his arms, "I actually did have hemorrhoids at one time so it wasn't a complete lie."

"That's fucking gross dude."

"Yeah," Lance closed his eyes and let out a short laugh, "I know."

Time had flown by that day and by the time Lance had gotten home, the stress on his shoulders had only been increased with the news about Keith's biological parents and the whole fight from earlier where he had gotten his ass kicked in front of the entire school. Nyma had simply watched with a red face as Lotor punched Lance, he didn't know how to feel about that to be perfectly honest. It was something that seemed a little weird to him since, after all, she was his girlfriend, therefore, she should've been there for him, but she hadn't been.

Lance laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling with the shadows of his lamp caressing the side of his face while his TV played reruns of How I Met your Mother and his body feeling tense. He needed some way to let himself loose, but nothing came to mind as he stared at the clouds on his ceiling for minutes upon minutes. God knows how long it had been until he finally moved at the sound of his phone chiming.

He rolled over in bed and opened his phone to some suggestive texts from his girlfriend, but he just wasn't in the mood for that type of interaction, especially not after how she hasn't even helped him.

He frowned and quickly typed his reply; not now Nyma, I'm not in the mood for this tonight.

Within seconds her reply came in and she persisted that they do what she had been trying to pressure him into for a few days now. She really wanted to take things at her own pace and not even consider whether or not Lance wanted to have a slow relationship or not. He wanted a relationship where he felt like he got the full experience with it; the raw emotions of pure love, the warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest when he held hands with the special person, he wanted to be able to see a future with them where they had a large and happy family like his that would support each other no matter what. He just needed someone who valued his feelings as much as their own.

Nyma: you're never in the mood for anything I want to do Lance, why can't you just do this with me this one time? I have needs that need to be taken care of so why are you being so selfish?

Lance groaned in annoyance as he quietly swore himself out, maybe he was being stupid about this whole thing? Nyma was a girl and girls had some needs guys didn't have as much, maybe he should just do this for her so he wouldn't have to listen to her complain. Oh wait, that's all she ever did actually, all she did was complain about something he did whether it be his bad breath (he couldn't control that okay, it was a package deal with his disorder) or even the fact he was skinnier than her. There was something always wrong.

He weighed the pros and con's about this situation and caved into Nyma's demands with a simple, yet reluctant, the picture that his mother would have screamed and died from a heart attack if she would've known what he had sent to the girl he had been dating for only a few days. It was weird doing this over the phone, it didn't give him a strong feeling like kissing Keith had done for him. He laid in bed, phone in hand his other hand doing a little something different than what he would normally be doing in right now. You see, this was a win-win situation in a way, he could lose his stress while taking care of Nyma's needs through texting so who could exactly blame him?

He was a teen too, all teens had at least one experience doing this sort of stuff, but not all teens would sit there thinking about their friend instead of their girlfriend as they breathed in awkward, hushed breaths as his face warmed up in pleasure. He had to admit it was weird of him to imagine Keith's hot breath against his sweaty skin, but the shivers that run down his spine made it feel so right. He was barely even connected to reality as he responded to Nyma every other text she sent because he was getting wrapped up in his little fantasy world that was helping him relieve the stress that had been putting a damper on his mood that day. He groaned quietly as he remembered how it felt to have Keith kiss him so deeply while he straddled him on this very bed. He could clearly recall how it had felt to have Keith's soft lips trail down his neck, sending these spine-tingling sensations through his body that made his body move with a mind of its own. He had now lost any and all interest in the stupid texts he was sending Nyma as he fell deeper and deeper into fantasy, losing touch with reality and what was important.

How couldn't he think about going further with these crazy thoughts swimming through his head? He wanted Keith to run his hands down his body, trailing his warm fingers down Lance's body so carefully almost as if he knew it made the boy wriggle around below him in uncontrollable desire and a need for more.

He couldn't help but imagine his friend being the one to hold him so roughly in his hands and give Lance the same exact feelings he was giving himself now. He wanted Keith to be in there with him, he wanted him to be the one to look at him with so much love in his eyes as he helped him lose all the stress in his life. He couldn't help but just imagine it, the movements Keith would do. He definitely had to have done it before right? He said he never kissed anyone before, but the way he treated Lance that day begged to differ so surely he knew how to handle this sort of thing.

"Keith..." Lance quietly moaned to himself as he finished his little fantasy in his head.

His body felt so much lighter after he cleaned everything up and breathed heavily in his bed, but this time instead of looking at his phone to see Nyma he quietly stared at the picture of Keith on his nightstand. What was wrong with him? Lance found himself becoming confused the longer he stared at it. Why did he choose to see Keith and not Nyma? He was just friends with Keith, hell, he was supposed to be straight but the longer he looked at that beautiful photo a few feet away he couldn't help but feel a heavy sense of guilt and insecurity welling up inside of him.

What was he doing wrong in his life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, Keith was supposed to be the one to do this end scene and it was going to be at the start but you can clearly see where I decided to change my mind and do something y'all may have wanted to see; Lance discovering his sexuality.
> 
> When one tries to discover their sexuality, it's a very confusing moment so that is why I ended it like that because Lance needs to figure out what everything means he won't just have that  
> "Oh fuck I'm gay"  
> Moments most fanfictions have because that's just not how the world works darling.
> 
> I'm sorry I didn't make it detailed but I at least tried and I am extremely embarrassed about posting this so please, give constructive criticism since there will actually be ONE smut scene in this story since I am trying to keep it as realistic as possible. I am sorry if some of you didn't like how there was a masturbation scene in this story but I am just trying to keep this story realistic and to do so I have to step out of my comfort zone and write these sorts of things.
> 
> Have a great day :))
> 
> -Anri


	27. Monoaware (Allura)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura remembers her past as she struggles for her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a very serious chapter, it deals with rape and therefore I believe that if you are not at all comfortable with this that you should DEFINITELY NOT read this chapter because it makes references to it and I do not wish to be held responsible for any problems you encounter whilst reading this chapter. At the start of this book/story, I placed a warning going over every little thing that you would encounter while reading this and rape was briefly mentioned.
> 
> I am not at fault for anyone who finds this chapter to be triggering because there have been not one, but multiple warnings of rape/non-con/sexual abuse in the story. 
> 
> AGAIN, IF YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH THE CHAPTER DO NOT READ.

There were so many things wrong with the world. If you aren't even the slightest bit depressed then you're ignorant to the world around you because nothing but bad things happen every day; famine, corrupted politicians selling stuff to illegal organizations for extra cash, terrorist attacks, slaughters occurring all the time in the middle east. Everything was going to hell and Allura had been aware of it since the day she watched her parents die in the car crash all those years ago.

She had always known that there wasn't enough good in the world to balance out all the bad and as time progressed and hate crimes began to rise once again, her little heart sunk deeper and deeper into her chest. She often wondered if there would ever be a chance that enough good would come into the lives of the many and give them something to smile for but she never seemed to be able to see if that rumored 'joy' could even exist.

Sure, when she was around Shiro one could say she was as joyous as one could be but when he left her side and left her alone with that shadow who breathed its poisonous words against her neck with its hot breath, her paradise ceased to exist until next time. Shiro was like a drug to her, she could never get enough of him and when she couldn't have him she would kill to have him back at her side just playing with her short hair.

She quietly stared down at her book and found herself barely even able to keep a firm grasp on what was going on in the chapter she was on. She was sure it was the part where Martine had found her best friend dead in the bathtub but at the same time, Allura couldn't seem to recall much of anything else she had read earlier like why Martine had even gone to the woman's house, to begin with. Allura winced as a splitting headache made its presence known to her, it honestly felt like her head was being crushed between two bricks and it made her vision become blurry for just a second.

She frowned as she pressed the ball of her wrist against her forehead and closed her book as she sat up in bed. God, she absolutely needed to take something in order to stop it from killing her. She glanced around her room and found her pill bottles for all sorts of things ranging from allergies to cramps and even her prescriptions. She managed to get herself out of bed and hobble over to the little area on top of her dresser and lazily scooped up the ibuprofen before she popped the cap off and carelessly dumped two into her palm.

Nothing really seemed to be registering in her head right now; she hadn't even realized how chilled she was wearing only a tank top and a pair of red sweatpants for her PJs. Her arms had little goosebumps decorating her skin as if they were some sort of Pollock painting and she was the canvas. She took the pills using a water bottle next to the bottles and swallowed down hard, her throat stinging slightly from how the pill was washed down.

She tapped her chest roughly with her fist and coughed a little before she went to take her antidepressants only to find that shaking the little bottle produced no noise. She stared down at it with a frown and wondered how long it had been like that or when she had last taken one but she couldn't remember anything for some reason probably because she was just so mentally drained.

She groaned to herself as she tossed the bottle into the tiny trash bin in her room before she grabbed a blanket to wrap around herself so she could do see Coran about refilling her prescription. As she opened her bedroom door, however, she found Coran gathering his toolbox along with a few other things used in his shop with this serious and concentrated look on his face.

"Uncle?" She raised one of her eyebrows curiously as she watched the ginger man rush about in the kitchen area.

Coran stopped just for a second in order to look at Allura, "Oh Allura!" He exclaimed almost as if he had even forgotten about her existence in this world. He made his way over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders gently, "I had an emergency call from one of my regulars, they broke down on the interstate so I'll be heading out there to fix their car so I can't fill your prescription up tonight."

Allura cocked her head to the side, "Broken down?" She said the words slowly, "Prescription?" It was almost as if each question she spoke contained foreign words in them. It was confusing.

Coran laughed slightly and rubbed the top of her head as he went back to gathering his stuff, "You asked me to fill it up yesterday before you went to bed but I don't have the time to go get it," he explained as he grabbed his wallet and pulled out some cash, "This is enough for the medicine and a couple of snacks in case you want to invite a friend or two over here while I'm gonna but no boys! I don't want you children doing anything I wouldn't do!"

Allura laughed in amusement as she blushed slightly, "Don't be so gross Coran!" She gently punched his shoulder as she adjusted the blanket around her, watching as he uncle put the money down on the counter. "I'll be sure to pick you up some of your York mints you love so much," She smiled gently at her uncle.

Coran nodded slightly as he smoothed out his mustache. "Ah yes, those are my favorites aren't they? Also, don't act like I wasn't your age at one time Allura," he pointed his index finger into the air and began reminiscing about the old times before he took her in as his own. "I remember when your father and I were just young whippersnappers in high school ourselves, Alfor was the jock and I was the waterboy but we had the best relationship in the entire universe!"

She heard the story countless times but it never got old. Her father, Alfor, had been the quarterback of the high school while Coran was the team manager or the waterboy for the lack of a much better term. They became friends because Coran had introduced Alfor to Allura's mother, Bisera, who happened to be a foreign exchange student from Bulgaria. She was beautiful, she had such beautiful mocha colored skin, her platinum blonde hair would reflect the sunlight in such ways that could put models to shame, her grey eyes were like storm clouds, and she was just stunning all around; or that's at least how Alfor would always describe Bisera to Allura when she was a child.

To Coran, Bisera apparently looked like a 'stunning swordfish from the great Pacific ocean'. Allura could barely remember her parent's faces from before without looking at the photos in her apartment or her room so hearing Coran go on and on about her parents back when they were her age was something she would listen to as many times as she could until the day she croaked. She loved and missed them so much.

"And that's the story of how Alfor's pants fell off his waist in front of your mother when he tried to ask her to prom," Coran finished with a snicker as he played with the end of his stache.

Allura found herself giggling a little bit as her uncle finished telling her about the time Bisera knew she would marry a goofy guy like Alfor. "I love that story," she said fondly before her expression darkened ever so slightly, "I just wish that mother could tell me it herself."

"You'll be reunited with her when the time comes Allura," Coran smiled gently as he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "But only when you're old and wrinkly will you meet, I can't have you biting the dust before you're at least in your seventies!"

Again, a smiled painted Allura's face as she began laughing at her odd uncle she loved so much. "Let God be the judge for how my life plays out," she joked. She really wanted to live to grow old and see her children have children but there was always that little thought in the back of her mind that questioned whether or not she'll ever be able to get that far in life.

"If I could choose your fate I would have given you something much different from the life you've lived," Coran said gently as he hugged his niece closely and sighed.

Allura found herself furrowing her brows slightly as her blue eyes stared up at the water-stained ceiling. "I wouldn't ask for anything else, we're family and I couldn't imagine a life without you with me," She whispered quietly and felt Coran squeeze her gently before he pulled away.

"I must go now," He sighed deeply before he grabbed his jacket, "it's rough being the best mechanic around, also bring a jacket when you go to the pharmacy since it'll rain soon; don't want you getting the sniffles!"

Allura nodded slightly as she waved him off as she went over to the door he hurried out of, "I'll be sure to wear a hoodie, be careful out there Coran!" She called out as he left through the small door inside the garage.

They kept the garage doors closed at night for obvious reasons but there was a little problem with the actual door to the shop that they used as their front door. It wasn't completely straight and leveled so one had to lift the door itself using the handle before pulling or pushing on it in order for it to open otherwise it wouldn't budge. She watched quietly as Coran disappeared into the night after closing the door behind him with a little struggle.

She stood in the doorway of her home with her blanket still covering her shoulders until she heard her phone chime in the other room which made her sigh a little bit and her shoulders sagged ever so slightly. She gently closed the door before she dragged herself into her room, blanket dragging behind her on the freshly swept floors.

She scooped her phone up carefully and hummed slightly in content when she saw Shiro's name in her notification bar. She opened the message and the smile that had disappeared from her face when Coran left reappeared slowly as her blue eyes roamed over each word carefully.

Takashi: are you feeling any better? I'm sorry we couldn't do anything together after school but I'm with Keith right now along with Matt and we're just playing Uno. Matt won't stop trying to speak in perfect Spanish to us, he claims that's how you play uno since it has a Spanish name for the game's name but Keith is struggling... he can't even say hola.

This is just me complaining so how are you? Is your stomach ache better? Did you take your medicine? Do you need to have someone over?

Allura laughed slightly to herself as she read about Matt and Keith. She couldn't imagine Keith being able to speak any other language outside of English since he barely understood trigonometry half the time which was probably the easiest thing to learn in high school math. Imagining Matt speaking fluent Spanish in front of a very confused and concerned Keith made her sides hurt as she began to snort from amusement. She typed her reply to Shiro making sure she answered all of his questions and gave him the basic rundown of her day. They did this a lot at night before one of them went to bed, it was like their way of saying that they weren't going anywhere anytime soon and she liked it.

She grabbed her black hoodie and zipped it up over her tank top before she reached up to pull her hair into a bun out of habit only to find that she had cut it. She still wasn't used to this, the whole having short hair thing, but it made her feel better about herself because she cut off something Lindon loved. Anything he loved about her she hated.

She quietly grabbed a pair of her old and tattered shoes and slipped them on as she hopped back into the kitchen to grab the money and stuff it into her pockets along with her phone. Before she could leave though, she noticed how Coran had left a vase on the table and smiled slightly at the white roses in the vase. He loved roses.

She flipped her hood on over her head and quickly bounded down the stairs from her home down into the workshop below before she struggled slightly with the door having to hold her breath as she lifted and pulled it open in a gross sounding squeak from the hinges that definitely needed some oil. It was dark outside and moths bounced on and off of the street lamps over and over like a ball being dribbled on the pavement. The air smelt like cement meaning that the rain Coran had spoken of was definitely on its way here soon so she had to make her trip quick or she would risk getting a cold from something as pathetic as rain.

The sounds of her shoes scraping across the cracked pavement echoed throughout the night as she quietly jogged down the sidewalk following nothing but the map inside of her head. Something about the sound of her breath being exhaled, the feeling of her heart racing inside of her chest, the ways her calf muscles burned, and the way her throat ached made her feel so alive and it made her smile widely as she picked up the pace while ignoring the cars that drove by her probably thinking she was some kind of weirdo.

She felt like running across the entire country, all the way to Canada if she could, as long as she could keep this feeling of excitement inside of her. She never felt like this without the help of her medicine; did this mean she was finally beginning to recover? The thought of actually being able to move on with her life made her do a little hop in the air as she laughed out loud in excitement as her hood slid off the top of her head allowing the breeze to push past her face. She wanted to get better, she wanted to be able to see things that reminded her of her parents without feeling that feeling of immense guilt pressing down on her body as if the gravity had increased suddenly.

She glanced over her shoulder as she giggled to herself to check and see if anyone saw her but she only saw a car in the distance slowly driving. She shrugged it off as nothing as the local Walgreen's came into sight, she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and held the door open for a mother and her two rambunctious boys as they left the story and of course thanking her along the way.

She got her prescription first, she gave the pharmacist her full name and birthday and quietly thanked him as he handed it to her with a kind smile on his face. Then, she allowed her growling stomach to guide her through the store, grabbing Twizzlers, York Mints, and even a liter of Coke to quench her addiction. Her phone buzzed in her pocket again as she tucked a chocolate bar into her basket she had in the crook of her elbow.

She managed to dig the phone out of her pocket carefully without dropping anything and saw that Lindon and Shiro had texted her. There was a long moment where she stood there with a frown wondering what she should do or rather, who she should reply to first. She let her heart guide her thumb as she deleted Lindon's text without even reading it before she opened Shiro's.

Takashi: So you're feeling better then? How was the book you got to read, I heard that it was an older one probably from when we were around twelve so I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on it Allura :)

Keith says hi and that he's feeling extremely hyped about being able to get surgery tomorrow and hopefully come from it cancer free. He and Matt have been playing on Matt's Nintendo switch to settle the argument of how one would say Fanta and this is the most furious I've ever seen Keith because he's losing against Matt who is just saying "lol" out loud. Keith said he was going to dye his hair after the surgery BTW.

If you need someone to keep you company just tell me <3

Allura didn't reply at first as she tried to think of a good response before she finally decided to not have him come over and visit her; she respected her uncle's wishes since she lived under his roof. She found the whole 'Fanta' thing quite amusing since Keith was probably the only person in the world she knew that pronounced it the way he did. She went up to the checkout area and paid for all of her things as the young store clerk made conversation with her, complimenting her hair with bright brown eyes sparkling in admiration.

"So where did you go to get it done?" The short girl asked in interest as she slowly rang up Allura's things. She had long brown hair that was pulled back in a braid and freckles spotted her face. "I was thinking about chopping off mine into a bob cut but my mother would probably go mental, get me?"

"Haha yeah," Allura awkwardly smiled at the teen girl, "I cut my own hair and dyed it; it used to be down to my upper thighs and platinum blonde."

"Was it natural?" She asked.

Allura raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Why do you ask that?" She said in confusion, why did it matter whether or not she was a natural blonde?

The brunette girl turned bright red in embarrassment as she rang up the final item. "Oh sorry that was a bit rude of me, I just assumed because many people with darker skin don't have naturally blonde hair."

Allura let out a little sigh as she handed the money over to the clerk carefully, "Yes, it was natural," She stated bluntly. She hated it when she was boiled down to black stereotypes.

"Right, uh," the girl handed the bag and money over to Allura and kept her eyes off her, "Have a nice night ma'am. Be careful on the roads since it's about to rain here soon."

Allura politely thanked her for her service before she left the store and went to pull her hood up over her head but she froze halfway. Out of the corners of her blue eyes, she noticed a familiar-looking BMW parked where the lights of the Walgreen's parking lot barely touched it. She stared at it for a long moment, searching it for any signs of life inside of it but when she saw nothing she shrugged off her paranoia and chalked it up to just being her nerves from deleting her teacher's text.

"He's crazy but not that crazy, girl," she sighed deeply and flipped her good on over her head and stuffed her hands in her pockets to begin walking with the bag of stuff gently banging against her legs.

She quietly walked down the sidewalk on the street, humming to the tune of a song she had heard on the radio earlier that day when she was going to school with Shiro. It began to rain about halfway through her walk so she ended up having to run home quickly but she never noticed when her phone slipped out of her pocket and clattered on the cement landing with the screen facing the sky with its screen lit up with a new text from Shiro. What she also didn't notice was that the BMW from Walgreen's was trailing behind her quietly with its headlights off.

"Shit," She grumbled to herself as she kept her hood on and tried to run as fast as she could without dropping her bag full of food and her medicine.

She finally reached her auto shop and struggled to get the key to the screwed up door out of her pocket. She managed to find it and shove it into the lock in time to hear someone pull in behind her as the headlights to the car flashed on illuminating her in painfully bright light so that if she turned around to see who it was she wouldn't be able to make out a face.

Her heart started to slowly pick up its pace in her chest as her paranoia from the Walgreen's parking lot returned and her fears of Lindon coming to see her began to cause her hands to shake slightly. She swallowed down her nervousness as her eyes widened at the sound of a car door opening slowly.

If there was a time to panic, it was now. She knew who it was by now and the fact that Lindon was doing this definitely meant no good was to come from this. She began to forcefully push against the door, dropping her bag and forgetting about the trick to opening it in her moment of panic. The sounds of shoes scraping against the gravel she stood on made her nearly begin to hyperventilate as she remembered to lift up the door and push her body against it nearly tripping inside of the shop.

There wasn't any time to slam the broken door closed behind her and she knew this as the footsteps outside began to pound against the group in a sprint. Allura bounded up the stairs, sometimes using her hands on the stairs as she tried to not fall flat on her face from panic.

"Allura, come here!" His words were slurred and he sounded extremely intoxicated as Lindon tried to run up the stairs behind her.

She ignored her pedophile teacher and grabbed the doorknob to her home and slammed against the door before she pressed her body against it to make sure he pursuer wouldn't get inside with her that quickly. She looked around looking for anything that could help fend off Lindon from entering her house but she couldn't seem to find anything since her head was swimming in nausea and fear.

Then the pounding on the door began and her body was nearly knocked away from it since she wasn't physically prepared for how strong her teacher was. She sucked in a deep breath and pressed hard against the door and squeezed her eyes shut. "Open the fucking door you bitch! I just want to see you and show you what it means to rebel against me!" Lindon shouted harshly through his breath that probably stunk like liquor.

Allura tried to ignore him as she took in a long breath for four seconds, held it for eight, and let it out for seven seconds. This was something her mother taught her for when she was feeling frightened, angry, or even anxious. It was something that could calm your nerves down and help you look at a situation with a clear mind no longer hindered by your emotions.

She opened her blue eyes and it was like she was seeing her entire home in a different light. She was suddenly well aware of how hard the rain was coming down outside, how drenched her clothes were, and most of all, how evenly matched in strength she was with her attacker. If she was able to keep him out by simply pushing back against the door then it meant that she had a clear fighting chance so now it was all left in fate's hands.

She waited for the moment where Lindon realized that pounding on the door would get him nowhere in order to finally slide away from it and grab hold of the closest object to her; a broom. She silently cursed God for making her fend off her attacker with the handle of a broom as she made sure that she took the proper stance and prepared to swing it harder than Shiro had ever swung at one of his baseball games. She mimicked his stance and gave spread her feet out a proper distance before raising the handle into the air just in time for Lindon to kick open the door and come stumbling inside only to be whacked in the cheek with the wooden handle of Allura's weapon.

She was shocked at first that something like that even worked, it was almost incomprehensible that a broom could make a grown man stumble inside of a kitchen howling in anger but the moment she met her angry eyes she was snapped out of her surprise and brought back to the reality of her situation.

"You fucking cu-" Lindon couldn't even finish his sentence he was so angered and Allura saw a scratch on his cheekbone where she had struck him.

She felt hope beginning to creep into her heart as she dodged his lunge and nearly slipped on the floor as she ran around the table and caught herself on the fridge as she lost her footing from the rain that had drenched her shoes from earlier. She scrambled to stand upright just in time to duck out of the way from a coffee cup being hurled at her face that definitely could have dazed her from the force it was thrown with.

She was breathing heavily now from how quickly her heart was pounding inside of her chest but when Lindon moved to the other side of the table to stand across from her neither of them dared move as they kept their eyes on each other in a standoff. "Now Allura," He said in a raspy voice, his cheek bright red and now bleeding, "why are you doing this to me? All I ever wanted was to be happy with you but you keep fighting me and making everything harder than what it has to be."

Allura felt her eyes sting as tears threatened to spill over. How could he ask this? How could he not realize how badly he was screwing up her life? "If you call making other people's lives a living hell happy then no wonder your wife fucking hates your guts, Richard. I'd rather die than ever be near you again," She spat at him and placed her hands on the counter in case she needed to boost herself to run again.

Lindon leaned on the table with his face blackened in anger and hatred, "Why would you say that to me, you know you can't speak to me like this young lady, I'll make sure Shiro never leaves the slums where he belongs," he hissed, "I can make it so that your uncle's business fails and the two of you become homeless forcing you to come crawling back to me. Let me have you and I won't have to hurt people you care about anymore," He extended a hand out to her and smiled bitterly, "what do you say?"

He looked like the devil with his wicked grin and his bone-chilling glare. Allura stood there for a moment considering taking his hand and dealing with even more pain just to spare her loved ones and friends from the hell she had been living through for nearly a year now but she just couldn't. She knew that if she did this stupid thing and accepted his deal all of her dreams would be stripped away from her and he would still hurt everyone she loved.

She hardened her gaze, tightened her grip on the counter and quickly placed the heel of her shoe against the table, "Fuck," she grunted as she shoved the dining table into his gut with all her force pinning him between the kitchen island and the table, "you!"

Lindon grunted as he was pinned between the two things and gasped for air. The vase tipped over, spilling the water across the floor as it rolled across the table's surface with the roses still inside of it. Allura stepped away from the counter and tried to run to her room so that she could escape through her window that had the fire escape but as she took her first step forward she felt her stomach drop as her shoe slid in the fresh puddle of water and brought her down in one quick movement causing her to fall flat on her face.

She groaned as she tried to get back up, well aware of the fact her nose felt as if it had been crushed by a two-ton elephant. Her head was swimming in dizziness as she lifted her face up to stare at her door only a few feet away from her. Her body felt weaker than earlier as she tried to stand back up only to have her foot slide out from under her again accompanied by the screeching of the table against the floor signaling Lindon's recovery.

She knew she couldn't sit there anymore so she began to crawl away as fast as she could while still being in a daze. A hand grabbed onto her ankle and began tugging her backward causing her to dig her nails into her floor trailing scratch marks through the wood and actually pulling one nail out from her finger in a painful tearing noise.

She violently twisted about on the floor as Lindon pinned her down and held her wrists above her head. "No!" She screamed as he laughed manically above her as his free hand trailed down her body. He was truly the devil and no one could ever tell her otherwise especially with how insane he looked.

When his hand reached her sweatpants and he began to get started with what he wanted to do to her she slammed her knee into his groin and managed to crawl out from under him as he howled in pain. One would assume she would have learned from her previous mistakes of slipping in the same exact puddle but when your heart and mind are everywhere things like that tend to slip by you and she sure as hell didn't remember to step around the puddle as she stood up and fell flat on her face once more.

This time though, she didn't waste time crawling away from her attacker but instead stood up and stumbled into the wall to make one fatal mistake. She glanced over at Lindon just in time to see him slam the vase full of roses on the side of her head instantly knocking all of her fighting spirit out of her body and making her body collapsed on the floor while a loud ringing in her left ear sounded.

Everything seemed to feel so different now, it all felt numb almost like her senses had been scrambled about in her body and couldn't seem to react properly to anything. Her body felt heavy and weak as Lindon lifted her from the ground and began to Carry her into her room slung over his shoulder letting her head and arms hang there in the air.

She didn't have the energy for anything anymore, that hope in her chest was stripped away as her eyes watched the white roses fade from sight and Lindon's voice echoed about inside of her skull making the ringing in her ear even worse. There was nothing she could do, the force behind that blow had completely left her defenseless as she was dropped onto her bed where the man crawled on top of her and began to undo his pants.

Her entire life had led up to this point. Was she ever even meant to survive well into adulthood like Coran wanted to, no, fought for? He worked harder than anything to give her the life she always wanted ever since she was a young child. As she felt Lindon take away all of her hopes and dreams once more she felt tears beginning to slide down her cheeks with her breath that left his lips.

She hadn't ever felt so hopeless, so weak a day in her life except for the night when her childlike innocence was taken away from her forever. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to ignore the pain from reality hitting her like a truck as she tried to remember the night her parents died.

She remembered the smiles her parents had even when they tried to calm her cries from the backseat when she realized her favorite stuffed animal wasn't with her anymore. Bisera had been looking over at her from the front seat as Alfor drove them back to the amusement park, she had been smiling and reassuring Allura that they would get the stuffed lion back before she could say butterscotch. She told her to do the breathing technique to help her calm down but as she breathed in, her world was turned upside down as a truck slammed into their car trying to avoid hitting a deer.

Her mother's life was taken upon impact and when they crashed into the tree, a branch lodged itself into Alfor's shoulder and his head slammed into the wheel due to an airbag failure. She remembered the screams that left her lips as she stared at the back of her mother's chair, tears rolling down her cheeks from the pain she felt on the side of her head from slamming against her door.

Alfor sluggishly made his way out of the car in order to safely drag his daughter from the wreck, trying to not look directly at his dead wife as he choked back his grief-filled sobs as he managed to scoop Allura up in his good arm. He had pulled the branch from his shoulder and allowed the blood from his body to gush out and trail down his numb arm and tint the leaves below them in a dark crimson.

"Allura," he whispered as he placed her down under a tree and began to wipe away her tears with his good hand. "Hush sweetie, everything is fine I promise you this."

"Mommy, where's mommy!" She wailed through her ugly sobs.

Alfor's blue eyes flashed with guilt as he tried to keep himself from looking back at the car. "She's fine, she's just trying to calm down before she comes out here but listen," he leaned down to kiss her forehead gently, "daddy has to go help the other people in the other car okay? I need you to call 911 on his cell and just tell them that you were in an accident at six flags. Can you do that for me, sweetie?"

Allura stopped sobbing at the fake news of her mother and hiccuped as she nodded and carefully took the phone from her father and followed the instructions he gave to her as he rushed off, nearly passing out from blood loss. Allura didn't remember anything after that because she had passed out from her head injury and woke up later with a grief-stricken Coran at her bedside holding her hand tightly. Alfor had died in the ride to the hospital from blood loss and Allura had blamed herself for it all because if she hasn't brought her toy she would still be with them living happily.

She wouldn't be here.

Then, something inside of her changed. Alfor had risked his life to make sure she got to safety, he had died from blood loss from making sure he secured his child's safety. She couldn't allow his sacrifice to be for nothing. She would never be able to die guilt free if she didn't do something now. She regained her senses and felt the pain in her body and felt nausea from what Lindon was doing to her hit her all at once like an ocean wave crashing against the sandy beaches. His head was buried in her neck as he kissed her skin and she didn't even waste a second of her time to turn her head and sink her teeth into his ear and rip it away as hard as she could with all of the rage inside of her body, all of the guilt she had bottled up inside, all of the emotions she had been repressing for a year now be her guide as she tasted his blood in her mouth.

He shrieked in pain as she shoved him off of her body. He held his hand against the side of his head as his blood dripped onto the carpet permanently staining it crimson. She spat out the piece of his ear in her mouth and ripped her lamp from the wall before bringing it down to strike the side of his head knocking him flat on his face but she didn't stop there.

She crouched down above him and continued to strike him with the lamp repeatedly as her cries echoed through the house, drowning out the storms outside. She wanted everything to stop. She wanted her hatred to leave her body. She wanted to be normal again. She wanted her innocence back. She wanted to say goodbye to her parents and apologize to them but she would never have that chance ever again and all the anger she felt inside of her was being taken out on the man who had made her feel like nothing but an object for a year. She screamed and cursed and sobbed as her strength slowly drained from her body until she gave her one final blow before dropping the bloody lamp on the floor.

She stared at his limp body as she shook violently. She wished she had invited Shiro there, she wished she could have gone with Coran, she wished that she had just failed English class. She wished a lot of things in that moment but none of them would come true as she screamed her lungs out and felt tears fall from her eyes like the rain from the sky outside. Nothing was okay and nothing was ever going to be just fine anymore.

Her life would be different and she couldn't take it anymore. She slammed her fists against the floor and threw up stomach bile from the shock of everything. She never remembered getting up from that spot to get dressed and stumble out of the garage. She couldn't remember how Coran met her with tears in his eyes at the sight of her in a bloody mess.

All she could remember was sitting in the hospital bed a few hours later after she had been questioned about what happened at her home. She remembered the feeling of emptiness inside of her as she sat underneath her blankets with her arms hugging her knees tightly as Shiro sat on the other side of the curtain that had been put up to keep other people away from her that weren't the female employees at the hospital Keith basically lived in.

"Allura," Shiro whispered from the other side as he tried to keep himself from crying, "I'm so sorry I didn't come even after you said no, I'm so sorry-" his voice cracked as he allowed himself to cry like she had been doing earlier.

She just quietly sat there with her back turned away from his silhouette on the green curtain with the blanket pulled over her with one thought running through her head.

'You and I both.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you came to the author note hoping for me to lighten the mood, spoiler alert; I'm not. I find that the topic of rape/noncon isn't properly portrayed within literature and ever since the little idea for this book came to life; this scene has been part of it. This scene was going to happen no matter what and I would like to give special thanks to the people who helped me, though they remain anonymous for certain reasons.
> 
> If you or a loved one had ever experienced something like this then my prayers go out to you for a well-deserved recovery. Rape isn't a joke and it should be handled with care when it comes to writing, I can only hope I properly showed it and if not I would gladly go back and fix it for the victims who feel like this wasn't properly portrayed.
> 
> https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones
> 
> This link will be for those of you who want to have a website that can help you if you've ever experienced something like this.
> 
> Also, here is the suicide prevention hotline;  
> 1-800-273-8255
> 
> You matter and do not ever let anyone drown out that little spark of life you have within you that keeps you going in this world. I know people who are victims of sexual violence, my sister was nearly one of them so I want to be sure that my readers are cared for. I want to be sure that my readers know there are options out there to turn to help them deal with this where they can get professional help.
> 
> I really love each and every individual who reads this whether you realize it or not. I don't care if I do not know you because every life in this world is precious and deserves nothing but happiness.
> 
> "No one will ever fight harder than you can for your own life and your own safety... I actively fought developing a prejudice against men despite being violated in an animalistic way by a man. That is in my own opinion that when something like this happens to you, you can look at it and say this individual did something evil or you could say all 'blank' are evil because this happened to me. In order to stay healthy and productive, I suggest you go with the first.
> 
> Victimhood is a choice."
> 
> -Blaire White


	28. Rain for the Pain (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Allura's accident, she's stuck in the hospital where she completely cuts off any communications with her male friends. Keith, who is about ready to go in for surgery, makes a final effort to try to show her she isn't alone with the help of the boy who has been plaguing his mind mercilessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support the last chapter and again, to the victims of sexual assault/rape you're not alone :)

Keith quietly sat in the hospital room listening to the quiet sniffling of Allura on the other side of the green curtain that kept Keith from her sight. When Shiro had left, Keith had taken over watch while Coran continued to be mercilessly questioned by the police about everything he had seen in his home. This was something Keith didn't know how to help with.

He never had anyone there for him when he was at his lowest point in life where he found himself secluded from the other children at school simply because his adoptive parents wanted to force him into being a child star. No one could see how much he wanted to have a normal life with normal parents and a normal friendship. He didn't know how to help Allura since he never got the help he needed when he was younger. Hell, she didn't talk to anyone except for the female officers and nurses, and very few words were shared with Coran, but otherwise, she didn't interact with the opposite sex.

Keith crossed his arms over his chest as he frowned deeply and leaned back in the wheelchair doctor Ari had forced him to use for when he wanted to take a stroll around the hospital. He was still hooked up to his IV which annoyed the hell out of him but he didn't mind being out of his room, even if he was doing it for a reason other than his own selfish reasons.

His stomach grumbled slightly which made him stir in his chair in discomfort. Allura had been refusing food so she must have been just as hungry as him, if not worse since he was restricted from eating for twenty-four hours. He didn't say a word as he wheeled himself out of the room and over to the nurse's station where nurse Morris was working diligently as he filed away some patient charts the doctors gave to him.

The blonde man looked over the counter when he heard the irritated kick from Keith sound from the other side of the desk. His brown eyes shined slightly in amusement as he placed his chin on his hand and smiled down at Keith, "What do you need Kogane?" He asked with an uplifted tone to his voice as if the little break from filing was the best part of his day.

Keith pouted slightly as his stomach grumbled obnoxiously loud making the nurse stifle a laugh with his hand. "Food," Keith stated simply as his purple gaze shifted awkwardly to Allura's room where he could see her silhouette against the curtain thanks to the light from the sun outside.

Nurse Morris shook his head and snickered, "You know the rules Kogane, no food twenty-four hours before surgery!" He sang before he leaned over and ruffled Keith's hair against the little guy's own will.

"Hey," Keith swatted away the pretty nurse's hand with a bilious look on his face. So what if nurse Morris was the cutest nurse in this damn hospital? Keith didn't like people screwing with his hair and Morris was definitely no exception to this unspoken rule. "It isn't for me asshole," Keith hissed before he pointed to Allura's room with a frown on his face, "She's probably hungry and I don't want her to get sick."

Morris's smile faltered slightly as his coffee-colored eyes stared into the room quietly. Then he shook his head and sighed deeply with a sympathetic look on his face. "Listen, your friend in there isn't going to get any better if you pester her with things like food. She has to fix herself before-"

"Just give me a dollar for the vending machine or I'll pickpocket it from the next doctor that walks by me," Keith growled as he glared at Nurse Morris and stuck his pale hand into the nurse's face as he motioned for the money. "You know I'm not bluffing."

Morris's face blackened in humiliation as he dug out a dollar from his back pocket and placed it into Keith's hand with a grunt. "If I catch you munching on it I'll be sure you don't get that surgery."

"Then I'll be dead and happy," Keith smiled at his nurse before he used his legs to push against the desk in order to wheel himself back before he began to head towards the vending machine humming to the tune of the stupid elevator music he heard coming to this floor earlier.

Who was nurse Morris to tell Keith what Allura could or couldn't do? She was her own person who had fought for her life so brilliantly and survived through something so many would have crumbled from. She was so brave. Keith struggled to put the dollar into the vending machine as he frowned in irritation. He knew she would get through this, she had to. She was the girl who was going to be President so she couldn't be dragged down by this. Sure she was going to need time to recover, but she was the only one out of the entire group who had the most promising future ahead of them. Keith was going to forever be condoned to living in the shadow of magazine covers and modeling jobs, Shiro would always be haunted by his past, Pidge would never truly be able to find himself in the right place in this ever-changing world, Hunk would always be too anxious to try something new, and Lance was... he was still trying to figure out his own personal demons.

He pressed the buttons for the chocolate muffin and watched it intently as the machine slowly pushed it forward until the edge of the wrapper got caught on the slot it was in. "Oh come on!" Keith said pathetically as he slammed his forehead against the glass separating him from the food he was buying for Allura. "I just want to be useful to her, let me have this one thing."

Keith was already feeling hopeless from not even being able to mumble a single word of reassurance to the white-haired girl who was suffering so greatly that he didn't need this to be happening right now. It was like God himself had a vendetta against the small group of friends he had already abandoned long ago. Was it because they were all just his personal set of rejects? Were they the ones he screwed up on so badly he decided to just push them into a corner and ignore them simply because they were just more complex than his personal favorites who could smile and joke without feeling any pain on the inside?

"That's not how you get it out..." A gentle sigh sounded from Keith's right that prompted him to lift his head up with a scowl. Leaning against a wall looking down at him was Lance, a Lance wearing a really baggy Supreme sweatshirt and ripped up jeans that Vivian had bought him.

His blue eyes were soft as he stared down at Keith, the tips of his ears a slight shade darker than the rest of his skin and his lips pulled together in a slight smile that seemed so soft and warm. Keith felt his heart skip a beat as he became self-aware of how weird he must have looked to his crush. He was a total mess on wheels with his hair all messy and his clothes all wrinkled. He was so astonished by the fact that the Cuban boy was even here and without that stupid little leech attached to his side for that matter. It was like a page straight from a fairytale, wasn't it? Lance was like Keith's prince that shined so brilliantly out of the rest of the princes in his kingdom while Keith was nothing but a lowly peasant who wasn't allowed to find love outside of the farm he slaved away on.

"Lance?" Keith breathed before his face turned red hot as he tried to wheel himself away to Allura's room in order to lock himself in there with his friend.

Lance's expression changed slightly as he covered half his face with his sweatshirt's sleeve and looked away from Keith. "Y-yeah. I came to see Allura and you but I s-see you're struggling right now," he mumbled before he reached into his back pocket and dug out his wallet in order to give the machine another dollar to buy yet another muffin in order to get the other one unstuck.

Keith's purple eyes followed the muffin as it fell to the bottom of the machine, but the one that Lance had bought got stuck exactly like how the last one did. Keith looked up at Lance in guilt, "Sorry you wasted your money, Lance," he stated as he leaned forward to reach inside the machine only to wince in pain and grab his abdomen. "Shit," he hissed.

Lance frowned as he put his wallet away and crouched down to grab the muffin from the machine before he froze with his arm inside of the machine and this distant look on his quiet face. "You okay?" He whispered quietly as he shook his head and pulled the muffin out to awkwardly place it onto Keith's lap.

Keith was puzzled by Lance's odd behavior, it was like the boy was a completely different person than before. He seemed conflicted and thrown off balance, he seemed to be exhausted and wary. His bruises from the fight at school the day before were still there and they didn't look like they would go away anytime soon but Keith didn't mind it even the slightest.

Keith nodded slightly as he held the muffin in his free hand, "It's just the cancer thing," he said quietly in response before he raised his eyebrows in concern, "But are you okay? You seem like you're bothered by something? Is everything okay with Nyma or-" saying that name nearly caused Keith to gag but Lance smiled and stifled a laugh as he cut off Keith.

"You're worried about me? That's weird, I'm not the one on my death bed," Lance looked up at Keith with this softest look he had ever given another person.

His eyes were full of conflicting emotions that Keith couldn't quite place a name to them because there were just so many, but he couldn't help but feel the urge to lean over and kiss Lance again. Lance seemed to be struggling with something internally just like everyone else, but for that moment, it seemed like Lance didn't seem to be too worried as he reached up and ruffled Keith's hair gently.

"I'm all good, bro."

Keith blushed and nearly squished the muffin in his hand as he averted his gaze away from Lance. God, why was he being so gross to him? Keith could get a cavity by how sweet Lance was being. "S-shut up," Keith grumbled as he turned his head away from Lance but made no effort at slapping his hand away from his hair.

Lance laughed slightly as he stood up and made his way behind Keith in order to start pushing him back towards the hospital room where Allura rested inside of. "There's the little moody Keith I know," he stated quietly.

The two of them were silent as Lance wheeled Keith back to Allura who had finally stopped crying and was now quietly humming to herself like some sort of coping mechanism. Lance stayed in the doorway as Keith rolled up next to the opening between the two curtains that had been pulled together upon the quiet girl's request. He swallowed down his awkwardness as he looked down at the muffin in his hand and up through the slit to see Allura staring out the window at the trees outside that danced with spring's gentle breeze.

She looked like hell, to say the least. She had stitches on the side of her head where the doctors had pulled a shard of glass from her wound and her dark skin was bruised slightly by the injury. Her eyes were red and had dark circles beneath them while her neck was covered in tiny little marks from where her attacker had made his move and her right arm had a large handprint on it probably from when Lindon had been hurting her.

Keith wanted to kill Lindon for even doing this to someone like Allura who wouldn't even harm a fly without feeling bad about it later on in the day. The asshole was in a different hospital stuck in a coma from major brain damage caused by Allura's rage during the entire fight. Coran told the police that her lamp had been ruined with blood and pieces of hair on it and so it was noted that she had to have used that as a defensive weapon. Lindon deserved it, he deserved to suffer for his crimes and he deserved to be punished by whatever all knowing power there was watching over the world. He deserved to perish for everything he had done to Allura.

Keith pushed aside his hatred for the man he had harmed his friend and slowly pushed the muffin through the curtain, but made sure to turn his face away so that he didn't alarm Allura. "Here," he stated quietly as he waved the muffin around on the other side of the curtain. The only response he heard was of Allura falling silent as she shifted her position in the bed.

"Listen," Keith sighed quietly and closed his eyes, "I don't know what you went through okay, I know I'm not qualified to give you some sort of pep talk but you need to eat. If you just sit there and cry you're not helping yourself, you're making your problems worse and trust me; if I'm starving from twenty-four hours of no food then you must be pretty well aware of the pain in your stomach right about now right? You can help yourself by first taking a bite out of this muffin I forced a nurse to pay for."

He was now becoming frustrated with how Allura was acting. She was just staring at the muffin he held in his hand for her as he waited patiently for her to take it from him in order to eat. She didn't budge. Keith opened his eyes and felt irritation beginning to control his actions as he peeked through the curtains to see Allura watching his hand with a quiet face of caution and fear.

"Take it," he persisted with a firm voice. "Take it and get better for us, for you."

Lance closed his eyes and furrowed his brows slightly before he walked over to gently place his hand on Keith's shoulder. "She doesn't want it Keith, don't force her to-"

"You don't know what she wants, none of us do and I wish everyone would just stop assuming she wants to be left alone!" Keith shouted with tears welling up in his eyes. He wasn't even sure if he was trying to defend Allura anymore, he didn't even know what he was saying. It was just words being spewed out in the heat of the moment like his mouth hate irritable bowel syndrome or something. "Isolation hurts the most when all we want is the comfort of others Lance, she's confused about everything right now and she doesn't know what she wants! She doesn't understand that she's just making things worse for herself okay so don't even try to-"

His words were cut off by the feeling of a cold hand touching his on the other side of the curtain as the muffin's wrapper crinkled. Keith looked through the curtain to see Allura timidly taking the muffin back to her bed with the darkest expression on her face he had ever seen. He dropped his hand down next to the wheel of his chair as he watched her open up the wrapper and shakily hold the chocolate muffin up to her parted lips. She looked so disgusted, so upset, so done with life as she choked back a sob and began to whimper as she took bites and gagged on her food slightly.

Lance stared at the shadow she cast on the curtain and slowly reached up and placed a hand over his stomach as he watched her begin to cry over forcing herself to eat. He was turning pale the longer they sat there listening to their friend's gentle sobs from the other side that sounded like an animal struggling along in life.

Lance squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment and tightened his grip on Keith's shoulder slightly before he took a deep breath and began to wheel Keith out of the room. "Let's allow her to eat for a little bit," he said quietly as he closed the door behind them while Keith struggled to look around the taller boy that towered over him in order to make sure Allura was okay before they left.

"What did you do that for?" Keith glared at Lance accusingly as he watched the skinny kid walk around the wheelchair to sit in the only chair near Allura's room.

"When I did that back in middle school, I didn't want anyone to hear me," Lance said as he looked down and pulled at the sleeves of his sweatshirt, "I don't want her to feel embarrassed over what she's feeling right now by listening to her."

Keith lost all the irritation he had been feeling inside of himself as he lowered his gaze to the floor. Sometimes he forgot Lance barely ate, the kid carried on with life as if it were normal. Sure his skin was paler than his family's, maybe his breath stunk a little bit, he was skinnier than Keith and sure you could see his ribs, but the way he carried himself made it look like he was a normal person until you witness his episodes when his condition kicks in.

Keith glanced over at the vending machine to see the extra muffin hanging onto the machine for its life and he felt his heart sag a little inside of his chest. "Have you eaten today?" He asked Lance as he looked back over at his friend.

Lance remained silent before he gave a weak little shrug, "I had a sip of coke from my sister's drink at school and-"

Keith reared back and slammed his fist into Lance's shoulder in anger, "You need to eat or you're not going to be getting any better!" He scolded the boy as he went to go wheel himself over to the machine.

Lance stopped him by placing his leg on Keith's lap as he held his hand against the shoulder Keith punched with this expression full of pain painted across his face. "I'll eat when you can, I want to talk to you about something later anyway if you're fine with that."

"What is it?"

"It's about Nyma and um," Lance's pained expression became one of conflict as his ears turned red, "and something else that I need to tell you about."

Keith raised one of his thick eyebrows as he carefully placed his right hand onto Lance's leg he had stretched across Keith's lap, "Are you and Nyma okay?" He asked out of genuine concern. He may be in a wheelchair but it didn't mean he wouldn't run over that barbie doll looking bitch in a heartbeat.

Lance nodded, "We're okay," he stated before he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, "I just need to talk about something that happened last night."

Keith was genuinely confused, what the hell did this string bean want to talk about if everything was okay with his girlfriend? Surely nothing eventful happened last night. "Uh," Keith slowly looked at where Lance was staring only to find him staring at the boy's lap in confusion. "What happened? Did you two have se-"

"God no."

"That was rather quick," Keith stated as he raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise at how Lance was eager to cut him off before asking if he and Nyma had sealed the deal yet. "If it wasn't that then what was it, Lance?"

Lance closed his eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath as he probably tried to clear his head before talking. Then, he slowly let out the breath and opened his tourmaline-blue eyes to look at Keith with seriousness, "Last night I was doing something with Nyma and when I was trying to keep myself uh- entertained- something weird happened and I thought of-"

"I don't want to know about your weird masturbation habits Lance," Keith stuck his tongue out in disgust. If it was about anyone else but Nyma maybe he would've listened like a normal friend, but he just didn't want to know about the intimacy in the screwed up relationship Lance was in.

Lance turned bright red as he waved his hands around in front of his face, "N-No," he exclaimed before he slumped his shoulders in defeat, "It not what you think Keith when I was in the middle of it I thought of y-"

"Keith Kogane!" A familiar shout echoed through the hallway causing Keith's spine to tingle in fear as he looked over his shoulder to see a very angry Doctor Ari.

"Oh god it's time for my surgery isn't it?" Keith began to hyperventilate as he pushed Lance's leg off his lap in fright. "Oh dear god she's going to murder me!" He wheezed.

He wouldn't willingly admit it, but he was absolutely terrified of the thought of being forced under a scalpel. It wasn't that he was afraid of getting surgery but rather what he'll see it or what would happen if it failed. He was always scared of falling into his subconsciousness where he his away all the memories that had burned a hole into his heart and left him alone for so many years. He was afraid that the surgery wouldn't get rid of his problems and only reveal them to be much worse than originally planned. He was so afraid of the what if's that he was about ready to wheeze himself into his own grave.

"Whoa," Lance hooked his arm around Keith's body before the boy could roll away from the doctor stomping down the hallway in rage. "Keith calm down, she's only going to help you, remember?" Lance tried to calm down the frightened boy who struggled against him.

Keith didn't care what she was doing, he wanted to keep himself safe, safe from the fears that his in his heart. "W-What if she can't?" Keith asked as he looked over at Lance with terror filling his body and reflecting through his eyes. His chest felt tight and his lungs struggled to grab onto the little amount of air he managed to breathe in.

Lance looked over at the doctor for a moment before he slowly leaned over and pulled Keith into his arms and placed his hand on the back of his black hair gently. "Don't worry Keith," Lance whispered warmly and stroked the messy black locks with his hand. "Whenever I feel scared I like to think of my family and how they'll always be there when I open my eyes again."

"But I don't have a family, Lance," Keith began to tear up as he shook uncontrollably in Lance's arms. "My adoptive parents just see me as a cash cow and I don't even remember my mother!" He whined.

"You have Vivian and everyone in our friend group Keith," Lance whispered as he held Keith even tighter, "You have me as well."

"Will you be there for me when I open my eyes again?"

"I'll be there even when they're closed, I promise you that."

Keith felt his entire body go rigid as he buried his face into Lance's neck and tried to hide how frightened he was. He was scared of Lance breaking his promise. He didn't know if Lance would leave him in his room like his father had left him all those years ago at school, helpless and scared. He clenched Lance's sweatshirt in his fingers as he held the boy tightly in his arms, he didn't want to let go and leave behind the only thing that kept him anchored to reality because the moment he let go he knew he would fall back into his doubts and insecurities. He wanted to have the only thing that managed to make him a total crybaby to remain at his side.

"Come on Keith, we're late to your surgery," Ari grunted as she grabbed the back of his chair firmly.

Keith and Lance were pulled apart mercilessly as Keith allowed a single tear to slide down his cheek. He reached out and felt his fingertips graze against Lance's smooth skin as he was pulled from his only sense of reality. Lance seemed to be almost as frightened as Keith as he managed to get a hold of Keith's hand and entwine their fingers together.

"I'll be here Keith, I swear on my own life," he stated before he managed to step forward and place a gentle kiss on the top of Keith's forehead as Ari gave the two boys a sympathetic look. Lance let go of Keith's hand and stood in the hallway watching the boy be wheeled away by the doctor with his hand against his chest. "I swear," he whispered to himself as he met Keith's frightened purple gaze for the final time.

It took a while before he was finally operated on and it was painful for Keith to listen to the doctors and nurses prepare everything. They talked in medical terms as Ari and her intern was suited up in their surgical gear and had their masks placed over their faces. They told him exactly what they were to do; they were going to put him under anesthesia, make an incision point near the affected area, from there they would begin the removal of the bad part of his liver. He quietly watched as the nurses sterilized the surgical equipment, his heart racing in his chest as he swallowed down his fears. He felt sick as he watched them place the little mask over his face to put him to sleep.

He felt like a trapped animal here.

As he opened his eyes after counting backward from ten as instructed he found himself in his old room with his father reading to him as he sat in his bed.

"The scary googly-eyed monster never returned again, especially not after the bravery of Moony Moore!" He said in a thick country accent as he closed the children's book with a gentle smile on his face.

Keith smiled brightly at his father as he giggled childishly. He loved the adventured of Moony Moore and her pet cat. "Again papa, again!" Keith exclaimed in enthusiasm as he gripped the blanket he sat under with his tiny little fingers. "I wanna hear it again."

Keith's dad scratched at his scruffy five o'clock shadow as he let out a sigh, "Again? That's the third time kiddo, you're gonna make your papa be late for work again tomorrow!" He groaned in exhaustion.

Keith pouted in sadness and crossed his arms over his chest as he furrowed his thick little eyebrows the other kids at school loved to make fun of. "Fine..." He mumbled in disappointment.

Keith's father stared at him for a long moment, his brown eyes searching the young boy's disappointed face before he let out a little sigh and ruffled his kid's hair a bit. "How about I tell you a story about your mother Keith," he stated and then smiled quietly to himself as he looked out the only window in the room with them.

"I don't wanna hear about her," Keith whined and shook his head, "She doesn't love us anymore!"

His father gave Keith a look of hurt as he lifted his hand up and off of Keith's head slightly. "Don't say that Keith, she loved us so much," he said in a strained voice. "So much," his voice cracked slightly.

Keith swatted his father's hand away from the top of his head and buried himself under his blankets, "If she loved us why did she leave us?" He whimpered as his chest began to hurt.

There was a deafening silence in the took that felt like it lasted years until Keith's father placed his hand on top of Keith's head again above the blanket this time. "She was an amazing woman, she was a kindergarten teacher. She always talked about being able to have you in her class when you came of age, she was glowing all the time when someone would ask about her little baby bump that had you. She'd go on these long," his father laughed slightly as tears welled up in his eyes, "long rants about how amazing you would be when you grew up. she had dreams for you."

"Don't blame your mother for the things that go wrong in your life Keith. She loved you so much and I'm sure she still does even if she did leave us behind to start on a new journey in a different life. You can't hate her for what she did, and you can't hate me for any mistakes I make in the future because it's out of my love for you. We love you to the moon and back kiddo."

Keith closed his eyes and ignored the feeling of his father's touch on the top of his head. He remembered how in the months to come his father carried on with life as if the little speech he gave his son had meant nothing and that it was just a simple little bump in the road until Keith stood outside in the rain waiting for his father in the car line.

He gripped the straps of his backpack tightly in his fingers as he listened to the kids around him giggle at the fact that he didn't have an umbrella and was being soaked in the unrelenting rain that fell and fell onto them all.

"Look at Keith," One whispered.

A giggle followed, "He's so poor he can't even afford an umbrella!"

"I heard his mom left him because his dad wasn't rich."

His gaze fell down to the water stained cement as he shivered. His clothes were plastered to his sides and his hair held onto the sides of his cheeks. His skin felt like snow, cold to the bone and stung with each drop of water that touched it. Were those kids right? Did his mother really leave him because his dad was too poor? Where was his dad? Why couldn't he just be like all the other kids? Why was he different? Why didn't he have a mother?

His eyes stung slightly as his teeth sunk into his bottom lip and the hole in his chest widened even more the longer he stood there alone with nothing but all those unanswered questions to keep him company. His purple irises followed the happy kids with their mothers and fathers as they were walked home hand in hand with little umbrellas keeping them nice and dry. He watched as those mothers smiled down at their kids with so much love, with so much warmth in their smiles and how happy they seemed to be seeing their child once again.

Keith watched them leave one after another, as kids jumped into their parent's cars squealing as they escaped the rain all the while he stood there looking more and more depressing and pitiful. He didn't know what was wrong with him, why wasn't his father here?

Then, the stinging from the rain ceased as an umbrella was held over his head in order to keep him from getting soaked even more even though it was impossible at this point. "He's late again?" A deep sigh sounded from a woman standing above Keith with a disappointed look on her face, "I'm going to have a long talk with your father when he gets here."

Keith looked up to see his teacher, Mrs. Schwartz, standing above him with her hand on her hip and a very stern look on her face. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her grey eyes were narrowed as she kept the rain from falling on Keith anymore. "I'm sorry..." He whispered.

"Huh?" Mrs. Schwartz looked down at keep with astonishment in her eyes, "You shouldn't apologize for the mistakes of others Keith, it isn't your fault."

But wasn't it? He and his father were poor and could barely afford living expenses let alone all the things he needed for school. His father slaved away with two jobs just to provide for him; how wasn't it his fault after all?

He lowered his gaze and sniffles as he tried to hold back his tears from the world. Why did his parents hate him? They stood there for half an hour before his teacher took him inside and with the help of the other staff members, they found him a fresh set of dry gym clothes he got into until social services came. He never saw his father again after that day even after social services called and called his cell phone to see if he were there. They called hospitals to see if there had been an accident, but it was like his father, just like his mother, had disappeared from the face of the earth.

After that all he knew was the foster system, he floated around it until two parents picked him up with their young daughter in tow and forced him into stardom. He felt so exposed every time he had cameras pointed at him, every time it rained he would cry himself to sleep in that giant, lonely home he lived in. His little sister was the only person to truly care about him but even so, she wasn't enough.

He couldn't ever find someone that could bring him back to the old him. The kid with that stupid sparkle in his eye, the child who only saw hope in the world. Instead, he only saw sadness and reality. There was no utopia, no nirvana, no paradise, nothing that held enough positivity that could outweigh the negativity in his life. He stole from others in hope to gain what was stolen from him. He was cuffed over a silly dream. He breathed in the poisons from the devil himself to have a buzz that made him feel something close to happiness. He did everything to avoid that hole in his heart that grew larger and larger the longer he was alone in this godforsaken world.

That is until he opened his eyes to find something close to a miracle sitting near him in the hospital. Lance had fallen asleep in the chair next to the window with Mr. Bubbles in his skinny arms and his hair beginning to curl back up again like the night Keith saw him on face time. Keith smiled as he felt his eyes beginning to sting with unshed tears.

For once, he hadn't been left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, have an amazing night.


	29. Chimera (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance remembers the old days while he and Pidge try to find Keith's father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late posting y'all, I was extremely busy today! Please, enjoy and thank you for all the lovely comments y'all have been leaving on this story it truly warms my heart seeing all the support you're giving Beautiful Disasters :)

When you were in middle school you probably thought your life had reached its peak; you got to go to the mall with friends without adult supervision, you began developing little puppy crushes on the cute and popular kids, you probably even tried to convince your parents you were an adult who could do anything on their own. But perhaps the biggest change in your life you went through aside from puberty were the trials of judgment from your peers.

Anything they said to you had to be true right, they were your classmates so they couldn't possibly lie to your face about anything. You would change as they changed, you just wanted to fit into the crowd and feel important. You would make your parents go out and buy you all these clothes and shoes you hated before but now you wanted them just to say you had them to your classmates. You tried everything in your power to feel normal and accepted.

However, to Lance, that feeling of normalcy only came when he was leaning over a toilet at school coughing up his pizza from lunch just to lose some weight. He was fat, fat and disgusting. Hell, he was a lard boy and he knew it. Every day he woke up his sister drifted further and further from him just so that she wouldn't have to deal with the constant humiliation he went through.

Every day he came to school some kid would point him out and make puking noises causing a chain reaction throughout the hallways that made Lance feel self-conscious about his body but he still did it. He still went to the bathroom after every meal religiously because he knew deep down in his heart that it was going to pay off one day.

He was going to be skinny one day with the magazine ready body society expected him to have and he was going to finally be desirable to the girls who always looked down at him in disgust. He laughed slightly as he sat back on the floor and wiped his mouth with a piece of toilet paper.

"I'm nearly there," he stated out loud in triumph as he looked down at his body that had clearly lost some weight. Lardboy was about to become a thing of his past and he couldn't wait to say goodbye to it.

The pain he suffered through every day, the constant questions that plagued his mind, everything would become nothing but a distant memory. All those questions his little demons whispered in his ears would disappear.

'Why me?' He wouldn't have to worry about asking that question when he finally had his love returned by his crush. He'd make all of his bullies ask themselves that when he becomes the most handsome guy around who no longer had on pants where the buttons were being put to the ultimate test.

'When will it stop?' He would never need to worry about this when he became normal. They would all see him as one of them or perhaps even greater.

'Did my friends ditch me because I was too different?' It wouldn't matter what his friend's opinions would be after he changed his life from dieting. He would laugh at them as they tried to beg for forgiveness and come crawling back to them.

When he becomes skinny, he'd make everyone pay for ever making him cry, for every making him hate himself, for being the cause of him leaning over a toilet to throw up after every meal, for ever making him feel worthless. Yeah, he was going to get the revenge he always wanted by changing himself for the better.

But was it for the better? Years later nothing had ever changed. Lance still hated himself, he was still an outsider in his school that got the shit kicked out of him on a daily basis, and people would still look at him in disgust. He quietly stood in front of the mirror at the hospital staring at his own reflection; even he wanted to cringe and gag at the sight of his face.

He was a sickly pale color that made his tanned skin look almost dead, his eyes were becoming dull, and his cheekbones were becoming more and more noticeable. If he opened his mouth he would probably cough from the smell of his own breath. His molars had cavities from the years of stomach bile rubbing against them and their once pearly white color was now a yellowish grey. Why had he done all this? Why had he put his body under years of torture just to get here? To become even more undesirable by his own girlfriend.

Lance didn't understand anything anymore. All he had ever wanted to be was skinny, perfect, flawless and yet here he was as a scrawny, broken, flawed boy who looked like he was on his deathbed. "Why me?" Lance asked his own revolting reflection.

Why was he the one who suffered every day from this? Why couldn't he catch a break? Why was it that he couldn't break this habit that was killing him slowly? Why wasn't he strong enough to take control of his life? Why?

He frowned at his own face as he tried to think about something else, Keith. Keith was out there in surgery, fighting for another chance at life even if God had curb stomped the guy twice and repeatedly beat him up in life; he was still trying.

Allura was out there even more broken and lost than he was. Him just standing here complaining about his disorder was pathetic because he could change everything while she couldn't. She had to live with the memory of someone taking advantage of her body when she was at her weakest, she would have to live with the knowledge of ever knowing there were bruises along her skin from her teacher, she had to live with the memories of the greatest pain no one should ever have to live through and yet here he was whining about something stupid.

He wanted to make his past self pay, he wanted that little fat kid to suffer as much as he was now because of the childish dream that would never come true. Why did he ever believe that throwing his own food up would even help? He should've known it wouldn't have given him his desired body, it never worked for the other people so why would it even work for him? He was following a naïve dream and this was the medicine the patient needed. A cruel dose of reality. He was even more pathetic, worthless, and even more undesirable than he had been back in middle school.

He was putrid.

He was disgusting.

He was the embodiment of trash.

He was something better left inside of a box tucked away in a storage closet where it would never see the light of day again.

He was better off not even being there, wasn't he?

Let's be real, all he did was cause his family pain. His father left them when they found out about his issues at a regular checkup with the doctors. While Lance's mother was crying over her son literally killing himself in order to feel better about himself, his father was off sticking it in his secretary and having the time of his life away from the stress of knowing his own kid felt like a worthless bag of meat. Lance was the reason his mother went through a nasty divorce, he was the reason Vince was left with Christian. Every time someone found out about his problems they ran away to have a more normal life.

He was the reason his family suffered from the worst kind of luck.

He stared at the reflection and felt so much anger welling up inside of his chest. He was angry at God, at his father, at his bullies, and so, so angry at himself. He was angry at himself for ever believing he could be happy through vomiting and dieting.

You couldn't find happiness in something like that. You'd want to lose more and more weight even after you hit the ideal weight you had been working so hard for because it wasn't enough. None of it was. You were only happy with the outcome when you were in your coffin six feet under.

"Lance?" A voice sounded from the entryway to the bathroom which made the angry boy jump slightly.

He looked over his shoulder, blue eyes wide, and found himself staring at a clearly exhausted Shiro. "Oh h-hey Shiro," Lance gave a sheepish grin as he relaxed slightly.

Shiro walked in and sighed as he stood in front of the next sink over in order to place his hands on either side of it. He stared down into the drain that seemed like a dark abyss and closed his eyes. "Is it my fault?" Shiro asked out loud probably meaning for it to have been a rhetorical question, one where he didn't wish to know the answer to.

Lance stared at him quietly, he didn't even have to ask what the guy meant by it. It was clear he was talking about Allura. Lance frowned slightly as he pushed his self-hatred to the back of his mind in order to help his friend out. "Why would it be, it's Lindon's fault. He was the one who did it to her Shiro, not you."

"It doesn't matter who did it," Shiro reached out and twisted on the faucet in order to cup his hands under the running water. "In the end, it's my fault all because I decided to not go to her house like I wanted to. I had such a bad feeling about her being alone and because I ignored my own feelings she got hurt."

"Shiro," Lance said firmly and reached out to place a hand on his friend's shoulder gently. "You are not at fault and I'm sure Allura wouldn't want you to feel this way either," He continued feeling confidence creep up into his body. He firmly believed in everything he was saying. "If she blamed you she wouldn't let you into her room where she listened to your little stories on how your day went. She would press the button on her remote and have a nurse escort you out. She likes you more than you know."

Shiro watched as the water poured over his hands for it no longer had any more room to rest in his palms. His grey eyes searched the clear liquid for something as if all the answers to the universe were in his palms. His scar scrunched up slightly as he fell into a deep thought with Lance's hand still on his shoulder.

Then, with a deep sigh, he dropped the water into the sink and turned off the faucet carefully. "Right, sorry for bothering you with my problems Lance," he stated and dried his hands off before he placed his hands on Lance's shoulders and stared down at him with a soft expression still full of this indescribable pain. "You're a good guy, I trust your opinions and I see why Keith views you with such high regards."

"Huh?" Lance cocked his head to the side. Keith held him in high regards? Was this some sort of joke? "Uh, yeah sure," He said slowly and laughed slightly. He wasn't going to ask Shiro what he meant, he'd ask Keith when he came back from surgery.

"I have to go back to Allura and hey," Shiro began to walk away giving Lance a gentle pat on the back as he scooted around him, "I appreciate what you and Keith did for Allura by making her eat. The nurse informed me about it, thank you."

"No problem," Lance said sincerely as he watched his friend leave the bathroom.

Lance didn't want to spend any more time alone with his thoughts because he knew no good would come of it and anyways, he was supposed to be with Pidge in the cafeteria. He stretched his arms above his head, splashed his face with water, dried it, and then left the bathroom trying to keep a clear mind. Pidge had been working hard on finding Keith's father, still refusing to tell Lance what his reasons were, but he knew it was something personal. Keith had that weird touch, he made people feel better without really meaning to.

Lance casually strolled past the people who were rushing around in the cafeteria with food trying to not run out of time for their lunch break. Pidge was sitting by himself in a corner booth quietly typing away at his computer as he stuffed his face with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich his mother had made for him.

Lance slid in beside the kid and stretched his arms out and laid his cheek flat against the table's surface with a deep sigh, "Have you found the guy yet? I really wanna know!" He whined in hopes that Pidge wouldn't question why he had disappeared for so long.

Pidge rolled his eyes, "No, now shut up, you're interrupting my work," He stated.

When Lance's stomach growled obnoxiously loud the little guy raised an eyebrow at the Cuban boy and stared at him without saying a word. Lance sat up and laughed awkwardly, "Ah, that was just me making a weird noise," He gave a strained smile as his eyebrow twitched ever so slightly out of frustration.

Pidge held the peanut butter and jelly sandwich out in front of his blue eyes. Any other day he would have probably taken one or two bites of it but not today; today was different. He had found himself being angry at himself for throwing up after every meal. If he took the food now surely his body would instinctively regurgitate it and purge his stomach of those toxic calories. That sandwich in front of his eyes looked too much like the nightmares he had suffered from when he was younger, it looked like pure sin condensed into something so delectable. It was the devil's food, it was the forbidden fruit, the thing that could tempt him into sin.

He lowered his gaze to his shaky fingers that were now tapping away on the table's surface out of pure anxiety and anger, "I'm uh- fine."

Pidge stared at Lance for a moment before his brown eyes settled down on the sandwich. "Dude," Pidge looked back up at Lance and held the food closer to his taller friend's face, "You have to eat, you look like literal shit today."

Lance forced a smile on his face as he ignored the pain in his stomach, "Pidge, I'm fine. I swear."

Pidge stared at him for a little longer before he realized he was fighting a losing battle against Lance. He sighed and took a bite of the sandwich and typed with his other hand, "You need to eat soon or you'll be in this hospital too. We can't have half our group out and unaccounted for you know?"

"I know," Lance mumbled half to himself as he stopped his irritating tapping on the table, "But you can't force someone with an eating disorder to eat."

"If we don't, how do you get better?"

Lance was quiet as he kept his eyes glued to the table. He wanted to take the first step to recovery but how could he when his body had a mind of its own, hell back at the mall no matter how much he had willed himself to hold down his food he had been too weak to even do so. Keith held him as he sobbed in between each little purge. Keith had comforted him because he wasn't able to be strong. He was weak, too weak to take that first step to recovery alone.

"I'll figure it out," Lance stated as he sat up slightly in his seat. He had to figure this out on his own, didn't he?

Pidge smiled slightly at his friend before he plopped the last bit of the sandwich half into his mouth and began to type with both hands. "Okay," he said as he swallowed the food, "So I managed to narrow down Keith's father's possible whereabouts in the state of Texas to two places and-"

Lance waved his hands around in front of his face as he furrowed his brows, "Whoa, how is this even possible? It's been what, two days? You can't possibly be able to locate someone who went off the grid so easily when others haven't been able to find him legally!" He exclaimed in utter confusion.

Pidge shrugged slightly, "Who said what I was doing was completely legal? I have my ways and you have yours so let's not dive into the infinite possibilities of my hacking capabilities."

"If it weren't for Matt, I wouldn't have even known you had any relatives. I thought you just spawned from the deepest, darkest depths of hell," Lance stated casually. "I mean who the hell can be this tech-savvy at fourteen?"

"Only a demon who spawned from the deepest, darkest depths of hell," Pidge winked.

"Okay?" Lance cocked his head to the side before his nails began to tap against the tabletop again. "What locations are they?" He asked.

Pidge stopped typing for a second as he glanced up at Lance and went back to doing whatever he was doing. "To be quite honest, I'm skeptical of one of the places but it was Kmart and well uh-" He glanced around anxiously and began to pick at the keyboard, "Here. Mercy Hospital."

Lance felt a small laugh escape his lips, "That's a really shitty joke Pidge, what's the real location?" When he met those mocha colored eyes he felt his heart crawl its way up into his throat, "No, you've got to be kidding me! Keith's dad is here? Right now?"

"I don't know, but keep your voice down!" Pidge hissed and nearly punched Lance out of fright of other people overhearing them as if it really mattered.

Lance was so confused. If Keith's father truly worked here then why hadn't he ever visited Keith? "Is there any way you can figure out which is the one we're looking for?" Lance asked in a shaky voice.

Pidge nodded slightly, sweat forming on his brow as he went back to typing. "I just have to see which one had a marriage license and had a child, maybe even use other means of access to find him like passport IDs or even a driver license or last known address. Do you know where Keith lived as a child?"

"No," Lance shook his head slowly and began to tug on the sleeves of his red hoodie he rarely wore. For some reason, he just couldn't seem to find his blue hoodie. "Keith barely talks about himself let alone his parents, birth or adoptive."

"Well looks like I'll be doing the search for the marriage license and child birth certificates, what was Keith's original last name?" Pidge paused while typing in order to look up at Lance as if the frail-looking boy was supposed to know every little detail about Keith's life. "Wait, you wouldn't know that either. Fine, I'll do the search now."

Pidge slammed a key and in the reflection of his glasses, Lance could see that a program was being run on the homemade computer. He didn't even want to ask questions about it because he already knew it was beyond his knowledge.

"So how long do we wait now?" Lance asked as he glanced around the cafeteria nervously, the anticipation made him feel sick to his stomach.

It could be anyone, couldn't it? Keith's father could very well be a doctor here. Maybe he was the best neurosurgeon in Mercy Hospital or perhaps he was even a cancer doctor like Ari was. If he wasn't either of those maybe he was a nurse that filed paperwork and found himself looking at Keith's records every time he gets his patient chart.

Pidge picked up the other half of his sandwich and began nibbling on it as he watched the computer screen in anticipation, "I could get the results any second now, but let's just pray that it's the Kmart guy because if he worked here that would be pretty fucked up."

Pidge sighed slightly as he glanced around the cafeteria, his eyes roaming over the nurses, janitors, and even the families around them until the computer screen stopped and pulled up a match that caused him to be drawn back to the topic at hand as he took a bite from his food. Then, as his brown eyes widened and he squeezed his sandwich in shock, he began to choke on his own food.

"Oh my god Pidge!" Lance exclaimed as he tried to get out of the seat and rush over to the small kid, but a random nurse managed to get to him before Lance.

The lady managed to get the food dislodged from Pidge's throat within a few seconds. "Be careful!" She scolded him and began to walk away to seat herself next to some other nurses on their break.

"Are you okay?" Lance asked out of bewilderment. "Why the hell did you react like that?" Lance pressed.

In one weak motion, Pidge coughed and pointed to the janitor a few feet away changing out the trash bags. "Him."

Lance followed Pidge's hand and gasped as he looked over at the janitor. He was tall, muscular, the complete opposite of Keith except for his face. Like Keith, he had a sort of angular look to his chin and his nose was nearly identical to the boy in surgery. Lance stared at the short-haired man and watched as he whistled away while he worked. He had greying black hair and a rough looking five o'clock shadow that would definitely have to be shaved soon before it grew out all patchy in some areas.

"He's not Korean though," Lance stated quietly as he glanced over at Pidge.

"Keith's half American you idiot!" Pidge reached over and slapped Lance on the side of his head for saying such a stupid comment. Then, he turned his brown eyes to the computer and read out the information, "Ryan Nellis, has a marriage license with an Aerum Choi, says on record he has a single child named Keith Nellis. God, what a shitty last name to have at birth."

Keith Nellis, it had a strange ring to it that Lance just couldn't seem to explain. He liked it more than Keith Kogane, it felt real and authentic. He smiled slightly to himself as he began to repeat the name over and over in his head. It was nice, it was different, it didn't hold any famous brands to it.

"I like it actually," Lance said out loud as he placed his hand on his chin.

Pidge rolled his eyes and closed his computer, "You like it because you're totally into Keith but whatever."

"I'm not, he's my friend and anyways, I've got a girlfriend!" Lance exclaimed defensively.

Pidge stuck his tongue out in annoyance, "Whatever you say, loverboy Lance," he stated before looking back over at Ryan. "Who's going to tell Keith?" Pidge asked.

Lance's smile faded slowly as he too watched Keith's father leave the cafeteria, "Shiro can't, he's bust with Allura and Hunk is busy with whatever it is he's doing," Lance said quietly.

"I am not going do it, I've already done the research," Pidge frowned and looked over at Lance with a serious face. "Are you ready to break the news to your space ranger partner?"

"Stop referencing that shitty game already."

"Over my dead body."

Lance took in a deep breath and slowly looked over at Pidge. "I guess I'm the only one left huh?"

"Yeah, you ready?"

"No."

After they cleaned up after themselves, Lance walked back to Keith's room to find the boy sleeping quietly in his bed from the surgery. Lance felt a heavy weight on his chest as he stood above the sleeping boy who was probably dreaming of a paradise beyond this cruel world.

"I'm sorry," Lance whispered to Keith as he reached down and gently moved a piece of Keith's hair from his face.

He had always seen it in TV shows, the main character would be dazzled by the fact that their love interest looked beautiful and peaceful whilst they were asleep, but he never believed those scenes were real until now. Keith was at peace, that little frown he always had was gone and relaxed. His lips were parted slightly and his gentle breathing sounded quieter now that he was dreaming.

Lance slowly cupped the side of Keith's cheek with his hand and gently rubbed his thumb against the boy's soft skin. He didn't know what to describe the feeling inside of him as he was ready to start sweating up a storm from how hot his face felt and his heart wouldn't slow down no matter how much he willed it to do so.

Nyma never made him feel this anxious even when they were kissing, she hadn't made his heart beat so roughly in his chest. Did this have something to do with last night when Lance did the unspeakable act with the image of Keith in his mind? Did that actually have meaning behind it? Did Lance even like Nyma? Did it mean he felt something for Keith but if so what was it? It was something he couldn't figure out on his own.

He had to do something in order to see if what he was feeling was real.

He prayed no one would see what he was about to do as he leaned down and got close to Keith's face. He stared at his lips for a long moment, trying to remember the way Keith had kissed him all those weeks ago in his bedroom. He remembered how nervous he had felt when Keith had straddled him and gently pressed his lips against his only to deepen the kiss further. Lance felt those feelings from the previous night, that tight know in his stomach, that heavy feeling in his chest, and even the heat that filled his body.

Then, he squeezed his blue eyes shut and gently pressed his forehead against Keith's own. He just couldn't kiss his friend without his permission. It wasn't right.

He stood back up, sucked in a deep and shaky breath before he grabbed the hippo stuffed animal and seated himself in the seats a few feet away.

He needed to sleep in order to clear his head and sort out what he would say to the sleeping boy in front of him. He owed Keith this.

He fell asleep nearly instantly but awoke to the quiet sobs of Keith a few minutes later. His eyes fluttered open to the sight of Keith pawing at his eyes trying to wipe away each tear that slid down his face.

"He stayed," Keith mumbled to himself as he laughed slightly in relief, "he really stayed. I can't believe it, he didn't break his promise."

Lance didn't even hesitate to move Mr. Bubbles off of his chest in order to get up and walk over to Keith's bedside. Keith looked up just in time for Lance to pull him into a tight hug. "I promised you I would be here even when your eyes were closed Keith, remember?"

Keith sobbed into Lance's shirt as he grabbed at his brown hair in order to pull him in closer. "Why? Why did you stay?" He asked in a pathetic voice.

Lance took in a deep breath and leaned back in order to look into Keith's purple eyes, "Because I have to tell you so-"

Before he could even finish Keith pulled Lance back into a hug and kissed his cheek gently. "Don't move please, I just want you to hold me."

"Of course, samurai."

Lance would tell Keith everything another day, now wasn't the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and again, sorry for the late posting. I truly hope that the updates are continuing to be entertaining and relatable for y'all and always be sure to leave constructive criticism in the comments or just point out something you believe should be different. Though I do not reply to most comments because I am busy with school and personal matters, I do get around to reading them all and I very much enjoy doing so!


	30. Fantasy Versus Reality (Shiro)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting last week, I had a very busy week and I couldn't find the time to post this chapter :(
> 
> There will not be any posts on next Sunday because I will be studying for finals most of the time this week so I won't be able to find the time to write the new chapter. I apologize but personally, I feel like my education should come first. Please, enjoy this late update :)

There was a fine line between realism and fantasy.

In his fantasy, Shiro always pictured himself as a normal boy. He would have been playing catch with his loving father in the front lawn of their home in a safe neighborhood as his sisters and mother sat inside laughing together. He wouldn't have ever gotten that scar across his face that reminded him of the pain he lived through as a child. He would go to college on a baseball scholarship with a beautiful girlfriend who loved him dearly. Maybe when he turned twenty-three he would propose to her. He would have done it in a way where he brought her out for a clichéd night where they had fancy Italian food then went out for a walk beneath the stars near a fountain and stand there for a moment. He would lean in close to kiss her before taking a knee to show her the ring he had worked so hard for.

She would have said yes and jumped into his arms in tears, they would definitely laugh about this in their older years. They'd have a child right after their honeymoon in Japan, they would name him Hiro and have a daughter soon after named Yuki. Their children would go on to be successful in life and make him and his wife proud parents. He would have died as a happy and normal person. He would have died with a smile.

Though, a fantasy will always be that won't it? It will always remain fictitious, fake, faux; a chimera. No matter how much he tried to dream or wish the fantasy to come to life, reality always won over. Instead of the picket fence and lemonade block party childhood, Shiro had wished for as a child, he had gotten the polar opposite. His home was nice and so was the neighborhood but the game of catch was never part of it. There was a game though, it wasn't something any child should have played with their father.

It was called the quiet game. He was never allowed to tell his mother or his sisters about what happened in the basement which was his father's workshop. If he did the game would have gotten harsher than it had been before. He broke that rule one time in all his life and what he got from it was the scar that covered his face.

His father had pinned him down and carved it into his face even as Shiro cried and begged for mercy, then his sister was forced to endure a punishment Shiro had been dealing with for most of his life. Their innocent childhood was stolen from them and his happiness was stripped away. Instead of nights where his parents would read bedtime stories to him; his mother would rush into his room every time he woke up screaming, writhing in the pain of his own memories and tears streaming down his face.

His mother would fall to alcoholism as a coping mechanism for the fact her husband had raped and abused her son and daughter without her ever knowing. Instead of living a normal childhood, Shiro was forced into adulthood at the age of fourteen where he managed to get into the academy on a baseball scholarship. One good thing came from all this.

He had met the girl of his dreams. She had given him a gentle smile on his first day as a freshman back when her hair had been a poofy mess. She had skin dark as chocolate and eyes as bright as the mountain flowers in Virginia. Her smile was like sunshine, it warmed the coldest parts of his heart and gave him something he had been missing for a long time; hope.

He got to hold her hand for the first time after they kissed. They fell on his bed and continued to show one another their love for each other until he cried from the memories love could never erase. All of that led to this point; the point where her innocence had been stripped away. The moment she had become deflowered.

He had rummaged around his house, tripping over a stray bottle of alcohol his mother had left out on the floor while she was off at work, just so he could find something that held value to him. When he was younger, his child therapist had given him something worth a thousand words yet she only used one.

'Kintsugi'

This object held so much value to him that doing what he was going to do with it was borderline insane in his eyes but it was for someone he cared deeply about. His child therapist would always tell him the same thing when he was feeling almost as if being a broken boy was a curse, a thing that no one would ever understand.

"Being broken gives someone the chance to help you heal and give you a new meaning to life."

He stood in the quiet little hospital room now, holding a small plastic bag with two things inside he wanted to use in order to help Allura the same way his therapist had helped him. The day was rainy like the night that she was attacked, each drop that touched the surface of the open window on the other side of that green curtain created a pattern on the green fabric that was indescribable. The sunlight outside showed nature's sorrow by shining into the room to cast a dark shadow that also showed Allura's figure quietly sitting, flipping through a book as she silently waited for the end of her grief.

Lance's face flashed into Shiro's head for a moment as he remembered how the skinny boy was trying to make Shiro feel better. The boy clearly suffered from his own issues and yet he forced himself to smile in order to make Shiro feel reassured that Allura's problem wasn't his fault in any way.

Shiro took in a deep breath as he seated himself in the tiny chair outside of Allura's border she had put up between her and the world. School had spiraled into chaos with the rumors going around. Everyone knew that both Allura and Lindon had been out of school but no one aside from Allura's family and the support group knew the real reason as to what really happened to the two of them. Many people, especially Lindon's Fanclub made of all the prissy and stuck up girls of the academy, were spreading rumors that the two of them had run away together (as if that really happened in real life) while the other rumors included multiple theories including Allura and Lindon being sick coincidentally at the same time, the two spending time together after school, or even Allura being abducted by Lindon which was probably the only theory Shiro would agree with.

To the people who asked him what had happened, Shiro simply told them that Allura would return soon enough but in realistic terms; what did soon even mean?

A day, a week, a few months, years? Would she ever finish school at the academy or would she drop out and try to work with Coran?

Anything could be a possible future for her now that her present was broken and shattered on the floor like an hourglass spilling sand through the cracks of its glass. He knew this feeling all too well, the feeling of complete helplessness as the anxiety grew more and more intense. The anxiety of how your life would play out after the moment it flashes before your eyes.

That moment was a defined time of your life, one that engraved itself into one's brain like the scratches on a wall engraved with nails. It stuck with you even years upon years later. It would never leave you with its bony fingers wrapped around your throat, squeezing it as a smile stretched across its shadowy face and its laughter echoed through the room even as you struggled to breathe. Eyes would roll to the back of your head, white spots would fill your vision, the air would be sucked right from your lungs, and you'd scratch and fight to take that fresh breath of air you were led to believe you'd never get to feel again.

This moment was and always would be fresh in Shiro's mind even now as he fiddled with the plastic bag in his hands. It was the moment his father took his future and ripped it to shreds right in front of his eyes like a terrible homework assignment.

He winced as a slight pain stabbed at his forehead. With his eyebrows furrowed together, only two things came to mind on that sunny spring afternoon where the sunlight filtered through the canopy of leaves outside. Could he ever escape this memory and how could he ever make the pain stop?

"Takashi," The man who towered behind Shiro whispered quietly as his hand slowly ran down his son's right bicep. "Something's been bothering your dad, can you help me out in my workshop?"

Takashi, a young and gullible child, didn't think twice as he looked up at his father from the desk which he sat at with a bright smile on his scarless face. "Of course, but can we play catch afterward?"

"Only if you do your job well enough."

That hand that had been stretched out to him so many years ago was full of lies and sinister intent. They never played catch after that, Shiro never even looked his father in the eyes after all of it; he was never allowed the childhood he had been promised with the first breath of air he took.

Now, his hand could change Allura's future in a positive way and he wanted to be sure that she could heal from it all. He didn't want her to be like him, someone whose life is dictated by his own past. Inside of the bag were two things, a bowl and a whiteboard with a marker that came with it. He had spent the entire day at school thinking of what to bring her but he could only ever remember the things he was given during his child therapy after his father was tried and arrested. His therapist had helped him the best she could and though she couldn't fix all of his problems, she managed to heal him physically.

"Hey Allura," Shiro took a deep breath as he began to tap his heel against the tiled floor. "It's a beautiful day outside isn't it? The sun is warm today and it tickled my arms when I walked through the parking lot to get here."

Silence.

Shiro swallowed down his nerves as he reached into the bag and pulled out the bowl his therapist had given him so many years ago. It was a tiny black bowl that had been shattered and pieced back together with gold. "I have something I want you to have. It uh," He paused as he scooted his chair up awkwardly and felt his voice shake slightly.

"It's a bowl that my therapist gave me that was once broken but was fixed with gold. It's something called 'Kintsugi' in Japan," He cleared his throat and placed the plastic bag down on the floor as he began to play with the small rice bowl in his hands. His thumb gently ran along its smooth surface as he felt how the gold that held the bowl together like glue, stuck out slightly. "The philosophy behind the technique is to recognize the history of the object and to visibly incorporate the repair into the new piece instead of disguising it," a small chuckle escaped his lips as he reached up to cover his parted lips with the back of his hand. "Look at me, I'm explaining the meaning of a stupid rice bowl to the girl I like and using big words. I'm so lame aren't I?"

Allura didn't speak but by now her silhouette had moved positions so that she was facing Shiro, her feet dangling off her bed and her hands holding on to the edge as a small and nearly unnoticeable smile painted her face for the first time in what felt like years. "Mhm." She nodded slowly and caused Shiro's heart to skip a beat in his chest.

His grey eyes widened slightly as he looked up as the shadow and felt as if his entire chest were about to burst. He had managed to get a response from her even if it were just a little noise of amusement. Anything was better than nothing.

Shiro laughed a little louder this time as he tried to hold back tears of joy. "I'm giving this to you because there's no point in trying to act like everything will be perfectly fine in a few days from now, there's no way you'll ever be completely okay but you can heal from this with the help of others."

He slowly moved the bowl through the small opening in the curtain and held it out to his girlfriend with confidence. "Please, take this. My therapist gave it to me as a child and now I'm giving it to you to show that you're not alone and that I'll be here every step of the way with you," He blushed slightly and looked down at the floor. "We all are."

Allura slowly slid off her bed, the sound of her feet touching the floor echoed throughout the room and continued to do so as she took slow and careful steps towards Shiro. He saw her hand through the opening of the curtain, hesitantly reaching out to take the rice bowl in her fingers as they shook. He couldn't help but smile as her fingertips brushed against his, he hadn't felt her gentle touch in what felt like millions of years. She slowly took the bowl from his hand and pulled it up to her chest as she sniffled slightly.

Shiro jumped up and bent over to grab the plastic bag and whip out the whiteboard and marker he had brought over from home. He had been using this to write down his homework assignments for the last four years but before that, you could tell with a single glance that he had used it to communicate with others with how blackened and smudged the old hung was. He felt like this board was a better gift than a brand new one since it shared a history that Allura could connect to personally.

"I also brought a whiteboard for you to write on," he said quietly as he stared down at the messy looking thing, "I always used it during my therapy sessions in order to communicate with my therapist. I like to think of writing as the written equivalent of someone's voice so I'm guessing yours is absolutely beautiful..."

He slowly slid the whiteboard through the opening and pinched his lips together as his brows furrowed and his knees pressed together awkwardly. "I-I mean I know it is beautiful since I have always loved your voice," He was the king of embarrassing statements.

Allura took this board a little quicker this time and she lowered herself to the floor in order to sit down. The popping noise of the cap be separated from the marker made Shiro's awkwardness fade nearly instantly as his grey eyes studied how quickly her silhouette moved with the sound of her writing. Then she placed the board on the floor and pushed it under the curtain with a scraping noise.

'Thank you, Takashi. Please, sit down here with me so we can talk.'

Her handwriting was beautiful just like he remembered. The letters were a mixture of normal writing and cursive making each word unique in its own way. He remembered the day he had seen her writing for the first time and he still felt that same feeling he did from four years ago; love. He loved how she wrote and he probably would until the end of time because its beauty was much like her voice and he loved each and every word that left her mouth.

Shiro couldn't help but feel himself grin ear to ear as he slowly slid down his chair and onto the floor in order to cross his legs and push the board back to his soulmate on the other side. "Of course I'll sit down here with you, what kind of boyfriend am I if I don't?"

She erased the board with a tissue from her bedside table she had to grab before sitting back down in order to write more on the board. It was a moment before he received her next message.

'You still want to be with me even if I've been taken by another man? Why? I'm no good to you anymore, Takashi...'

His heart was nearly shattered into pieces reading her words. He knew this feeling, the feeling of absolute disgust and hatred for oneself. He had spent years believing he could never be enough for one person, that he could never give anyone the love they deserved. He didn't want Allura to feel this way, ever.

"I don't think I could ever hate you for the animalistic choices someone made," he started, "you never chose to be his victim Allura, I understand what you're going through so for me to resent you for something beyond your control would be like you hating me for what I've been through and I know neither of us could ever feel that way towards the other. In fact, I don't think I could ever hate you because I..." His voice faltered and cracked slightly as he felt his heart throb inside of his chest. "I think I love you."

"I mean I spent all my high school career admiring you and trying to talk to every possible chance I got, hell, I felt like my entire heart exploded when I saw you at our first meeting because I knew we would become great friends. You gave me hope in the world when my father had ripped it right out of my chest, you made me realize that love wasn't just a word adults said to each other but rather this feeling that could make you feel so elated at the glimpse of the person who made you feel it. I would never ever hate you for what that asshole did to you because to me you're still my Allura."

It was hard for him to say that out loud, to open himself up again to the world and leave his back vulnerable enough for people who he trusted to pierce a dagger straight through his skin. Allura slowly took the board back and began to sniffle a little more and whimper on the other side of the curtain causing Shiro to feel the need to hug her even though he knew it wasn't an option.

"I'm sorry if that was too much to handle," He whispered regretfully and pinched his thumb between his index and middle finger as he tried to hold back everything he wanted to say to her.

Then, just like a miracle, Allura slid the board over and gave him a message he had never known he needed to see before.

'Takashi, please, hold me. I miss you.'

Shiro cautiously stood up and walked over to the opening of the curtain in order to take it in his fingers, "I'm coming in, don't be scared Allura." He said slowly before he stepped inside.

It was brighter on the other side with the sunlight filtering through the windows where the old maple trees danced with the wind. Allura's bedsheets were bunched together in a corner furthest away from the bed showing that she must spend her nights on the cold floor because of the nightmares that plagued her every resting moment. She was sitting on the floor wiping at her face with the tissues she had grabbed as she quietly cried without mumbling a single word.

She looked so fragile, so scared, and so vulnerable like the child he was all those years ago. He didn't say a word even as his chest tightened at the sight of his girlfriend so torn up and broken, instead, he slowly knelt beside her and pushed a piece of her hair away from her face and smiled at her gently.

"Come on, let's go sit where its warm," he gently grabbed her hand and helped her stand up. He noticed the rice bowl sitting on the floor next to the black marker.

She stood up and sniffled as she looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. Her eyes reminded him of marbles, they were glassy sort of and the blue was much duller than before. Her skin was wet with tears she had been shedding and she looked skinnier than before. She shook as she stood there, her body wanting to pull away from Shiro and her mind wanting nothing more than to embrace him if it didn't hurt her in the process.

They didn't say a word as they went to the corner where her blankets were and settled down with Shiro's back pressed against the wall and Allura in his lap as she pressed against his chest and shivered. He pulled the blankets around them and began to quietly him a song in order to help her calm down.

They remained like this for hours never speaking a word to one another but the gentle humming from Shiro was enough to lull Allura into a restful slumber.

"I love you," he whispered quietly and pressed his lips to her forehead. Nothing could change that.


	31. Parental Issues (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance spend time with Vivian and Sandra after his surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note before you begin:  
> This chapter is not the best chapter. I've been suffering from severe writer's block and decided to just power through it and try to give y'all an update so I greatly apologize because I know for a fact this chapter is going to be absolute garbage compared to the other ones especially the last one and I apologize but I do not believe I will be rewriting it because I want to finish this story as soon as possible so I can move onto other projects and I personally feel like this is a good idea since I'm very busy IRL and don't really have time to keep rewriting chapters. Enjoy this late update and again, I'm sorry :(

"Smile at the camera, Keith!" A photographer stated in a very annoying and very loud voice as they tried to get the young boy to look over at them in order to snap a photo.

Keith simply crossed his arms over his chest and puffed his cheeks out in resentment. He hated it here. He hated all the bright lights they shined on him and he especially hated the stupid outfits his adoptive family and photographers made him wear. He wanted to go back home to be with his father again.

"No!" Keith exclaimed and furrowed his eyebrows together. He didn't care if he was supposed to be a fifth grader, he didn't want to do this and they were not going to force him to do what they wanted.

Sandra who had been standing a few feet away with Vivian in her arms sucking on her thumb sighed slightly and pinched the bridge of her nose. She looked exhausted from juggling two children who differed greatly in personality and age while she tried to keep her job and make sure she was successful.

Sandra slowly approached Keith and knelt down in front of him in order to place the second grader in her arms onto the floor. "Keith," Sandra gave a gentle and reassuring smile to her new son who had been with them for a few months now. "Mommy needs you to do this. Vivian will take pictures with you if that's what it takes. Please do it, for me."

Those words were always his kryptonite. 'For me.' Those two words could get Keith to do anything if spoken in a tone only a mother could speak in. It was Sandra's trump card and she used it well even when Keith was seventeen years old and holding a pink stuffed animal hippo in his arms and holding a tall, tanned boy in front of his face in order to hide from the camera Sandra had pointed in his face.

"Keith take a photo for your Instagram, we have to keep your fans updated on your status!" Sandra exclaimed in annoyance.

Keith was holding Lance by his shoulder making sure that his body blocked his pale face from his mother. Lance, on the other hand, looked displeased and slightly embarrassed as he struggled against Keith's grip. "Leave me alone Sandra, I don't want to take photos!" Keith grunted.

Sandra scowled as she locked eyes with a very awkward Lance. "Alright, twig-boy I need you to move for the photo because it needs to be of Keith not a random kid from the street."

Lance's face screwed up in anger and shame as he stopped struggling against Keith and lowered his head. Keith felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins as he glared at his mother in anger, "He isn't going anywhere and he isn't a random kid from the street Sandra, he's my best friend!"

Vivian looked up from where she sat in a chair a few feet away and stood up holding her hands out with a taut smile on her face, "Let's take a breather, stress isn't good for Keith since he just got out of surgery mother," she went over to Keith and Lance before gently pulling Lance from Keith's grasp. "We should wait on taking photos until he's had his first meal I'm certain he's famished anyways."

Keith felt relieved as he gave a small smile to his little sister. "Fine," Sandra let out a deep sigh and began to text her assistant, "but after I get Mila to get us some lunch you're taking the phone. Please," Keith felt his face scrunch up as he remembered the next words that would come out of his mother's mouth, "for me?"

He cringed inwardly and furrowed his brows at his mother. Why couldn't she just be a normal mother, one he never had? "Fine," Keith stated reluctantly causing Lance to flash him a look of concern.

"I say we order something greasy," Vivian practically drooled as she crawled into bed next to Keith and pulled Mr. Bubbles into her lap before reaching over to ruffle Keith's hair only to have the back of her blonde head get slapped.

Sandra shook her head as she tucked her phone into her purse and began to fish around for her sunglasses, "Not happening, we have to keep you looking presentable for your women's tennis team tryouts tomorrow especially after your stupid little stunt that went viral. It took us forever to get it to blow over you know and we don't want any more of your sponsors to pull out simply because you're too fat to play your matches!"

Keith rolled his eyes at their mother, "Because one burger is going to make her swell up to the size of a whale."

Vivian pointed her finger at Keith while Lance stood in an awkward silence. "What he said," she stated before she shrugged nonchalantly, "I was defending Keith's honor when I fight that girl so I don't think you should be so upset over it mom."

"I'm upset because we lost our biggest sponsor!" Sandra unfolded her sunglasses violently and placed them on her face before slinging her bag onto her shoulder, "When I get back I better not find a greasy wrapper in this room or you'll be running four miles!"

Keith watched as Sandra hurriedly walked out of his room with a scowl on her face and her cheeks puffed out. He frowned slightly and pointed to the door, "What's up with her Viv?"

"You asking me why she's got a stick up her rear?" Vivian raised one of her blonde eyebrows slowly and then pursed her lips, "Dad went on a business trip to Japan and since he usually manages my tennis career he dumped it on her to probably meet some pretty Geisha's and have some affairs."

Lance blinked in surprised at how easygoing Vivian was acting about what was going on with her life. "Wait, he cheats on Sandra? Why are you joking about that?" He asked with a very shrill tone almost like he was upset to even hear about it.

Keith nodded, "They both cheat on each other it's no secret. They really only stay together because they work well together in the business industry but not at home," Keith grumbled quietly. He was clearly not as okay with it as his sister was.

Lance looked at the siblings and opened his mouth to say something but when nothing came out he shook his head slightly. "Let me guess," Vivian sighed as she began to play with the arms of the hippo she held, "You've had an experience with a cheater? You look beyond furious right now just hearing about our parent's unhealthy marriage."

Lance clenched his jaw and looked away from the Kogane siblings. Keith felt a weird stabbing feeling happen in his gut as he watched Lance's reaction. The tall boy's brows were knitted together tightly and the creases on his forehead were deeper than the grand canyon.

Keith glanced over at his sister with annoyance as he thought about pinching her to force her to apologize but decided against it as he reached out to tug on Lance's sleeve, "How are things with you and Nyma?"

Lance looked down at Keith and smiled in relief slightly before his cheeks turned a dark red and his eyes wandered over to Vivian. "I wanted to talk to you about that actually but it can wait for a more appropriate time."

Keith stared at Lance for a long moment before looking over at Vivian in confusion. "How isn't it an appropriate time right now?" Keith inquired as he looked back over at Lance.

Vivian raised her hands in the air defensively, "Hey I would leave if I didn't want to stay with my brother but I do so I'm going to stay here," she stated.

Keith felt stupid for asking this question as he realized Lance wanted to speak to him privately about Nyma. "Oh right," he mumbled.

Lance pulled up the chair he had slept on earlier and sat next to Keith and Vivian, "on another note I spent a long time with Pidge and god he's a weird kid. He carries peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in his pockets!" Lance said with a very confused and horrified face.

Keith stifled a laugh as he nodded slightly in agreement, "That kid loves his peanut butter we should buy him an industrial sized jar for Christmas!"

"We should also get him more technology stuff since he's like the tech wiz in your group," Vivian added.

The three of them laughed at the ideas they came up with for Christmas presents for each of the support group members. They wanted to buy Shiro eyeliner and other stuff from Sephora as a joke since the guy could do killer eyeliner (he gave Keith tips on eyeliner because he used to do his sisters), they wanted to buy Allura a giant pink and fluffy sweater that way she could feel all warm and safe inside of it when she was feeling better and they opted to buy Hunk a gourmet dinner along with a new yellow bandana because that boy loved his food and old bandana. They continued talking like this for a while until Vivian excused herself to go to the vending machines outside leaving Keith and Lance alone in silence.

Keith didn't know what to do with his hands as he played with his fingers nervously. He wanted to rant to Lance about how much he liked him but it wasn't exactly his place to do so, was it? The guy was dating someone after all.

Lance was the first one to speak as he quietly stared at Keith's hands that wouldn't keep still, "There's something I need to tell you, well two things actually but I'll start with the most important thing," he let out a long breath and raised his blue eyes to look at Keith.

Keith stopped fiddling with his fingers and raised an eyebrow, "Does this thing relate to Nyma?" He asked.

Lance shook his head slowly, "Not this specific thing. This thing relates to you and something Pidge found out."

Keith cocked his head to the side and placed his thumb between his index and middle finger. "What is it, Lance? You can tell me..."

"He found your father."

Keith was dumbstruck. What the hell did Lance mean by that? That man was deader than dead to Keith he literally abandoned his own son without a word and disappeared off the globe without a trace. How did Pidge, a simple fourteen-year-old find Keith's father when child protective services couldn't?

"You're lying," Keith frowned and shook his head in disbelief. This had to be some sort of sick prank concocted by that little snot-nosed brat Pidge. Right? "My father is gone, Lance."

Lance sat up straight and stared at Keith with such seriousness on his face Keith barely recognized him. "I'm not joking. Pidge found your father and mother, your father works here as a janitor," he stated before continuing. "Ryan Nellis. That's his name right, and your name is Keith Nellis."

What the hell was this? Was this a sick joke from God himself? There was no way in hell that Lance and Pidge knew his birth name and his father's name without actually having to do the proper research which meant that the guy in front of Keith was indeed not joking.

Keith's hands instinctively balled into two fists as all the pent-up rage from over the years began to resurface. "Don't speak that name to me," Keith growled in anger as he glared at Lance. "I bet you're going to tell me he's successful and has a whole new family or something. You're going to tell me how my mother and father have this whole new and better life without me there to drag them down right?" He began to raise his voice with each word.

Lance stood up in shock and shook his head, "Keith, your mother is dead and your dad is just a janitor, they're not living in the riches because they got rid of you why would you say that?"

Keith felt as if his entire world had been put on pause as if God had to take a little bathroom break before he continued watching this extremely screwed up situation unfold. "Dead? W-What? How long and why?" Keith slowly placed the palm of his hand against his for head and quietly stared down at his lap in silence. It was too much to process.

"She died giving birth to you," Lance slowly reached out and took Keith's free hand in his gently. "Listen, I know this is a lot to process and comprehend but we're all here for you and you can-"

Keith didn't even realize what had happened until it was too late. Lance stared at the wall in dismay as he blinked wildly, Keith had slapped him with the hand that had once been pressed against his forehead. He was so angry that he didn't even feel it inside of his body anymore but rather it just made his hands shake uncontrollably and his heart beat as speeds he never knew before.

"Get out," Keith whispered quietly as he pulled his hand away from Lance. He wanted to strangle the tall boy, he wanted to choke the life out of him and beat him to a bloody pulp but he didn't have the energy to do so nor did he want to injure Lance to the point where one more of his friends would be hospitalized.

Lance placed his hand against the red mark on his cheek and stared at Keith, "Why? I'm just trying to help you find your dad and find out what happened to-"

"Get out, I won't ask you again."

"Keith I-"Lance's voice caught in his throat as he locked eyes with Keith and froze. Keith must've looked like he was truly about to commit a murder in that moment because Lance slowly began to shuffle away BuT not before saying one last thing. "I just thought it would help you and Pidge wanted to repay you."

Keith slowly pushed the stuffed hippo from his bed and pulled his blanket over his head as he rolled over on the bed. He wanted to hide from the truth. He didn't want to know any of this. He had created up false identities for his parents and had spent his life believing in them only for them to be shattered in an instant by the person he thought he had trusted. He didn't know what to do and the thought of him hating his mother over a lie his father had told him so many years ago was absolutely devastating to him. He had led his life believing that woman was nothing but pure evil, a wolf in sheep's clothing and yet he was wrong and hated her for no reason.

He felt a tear slide down his cheek as a shiver ran down his entire body and shake him to his core. Why did his father lie and why was he stuck in the hospital with him? Keith knew who it was without Lance even having to point it out, he was dense but not that dense. Ryan was the janitor he spoke to the other day, wasn't he?

Keith thought that man was kind in his own way but now he hated him. He wanted to watch Ryan fall to his death with a bowl of popcorn in his lap and a coke in hand.

He wanted the truth to go away.

He wanted to hide behind the wall that had been broken down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I'm sorry for the poor quality but I really did try. I didn't have a good inspiration for this chapter and it killed me to write this chapter and force it out like this in such low quality but I need to get over writer's block by powering through it so I promise the next chapter will not be as bad.


	32. To be or Not to be (Hunk)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk and Shay spend time together before they see something that could ruin a friend's joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm sorry for the unexpected hiatus that I took on posting this story on this site but due to work and school, I couldn't seem to find the time to fit posting into my schedule :(
> 
> I will try to get back into my normal schedule but for now, the new schedule will be every OTHER Sunday!

It was weird, being out in public all alone with only his trembling hands and frightened thoughts to keep him company. The ticking on the clock a few feet away echoed through his head like an empty cave system that extended further and further into the depths of the earth where no man has ever gone. Everything seemed so much louder; the sounds of water gushing out of the sinks in the kitchen beyond that old looking door, the gentle sighs of the annoyed boyfriend listening to his girlfriend ranting about drama, the slight squeak of a tennis shoe against the floor, and even the whirring noise of a car's engine speeding by.

His face felt hot and only grew hotter as the ticking of the clock echoed through Hunk's mind. He was anxious, nervous about being alone in such a busy area such as this. Being alone here made him feel shaky, it made his chest tight, it made his eyes sting, and it made him feel sweaty. The longer he stayed like this the more and more he became aware of his surroundings and the more he-

"Hunk?" A familiar voice made the young boy jump slightly in surprise as he lifted his brown eyes up to meet the mocha colored gaze of Shay who looked at him with a gentle smile, "You want me to sit with you until you're done with your coffee?"

Hunk felt some of his anxiety fade as he stared at the beautiful girl with that sugary sweet smile on her face that could definitely give him cavities if he stared for too long. "Is your shift over already?" He inquired as he watched Shay take a seat across from him in a huff.

Shay nodded at him enthusiastically as she placed her elbows on the table and looked outside to see the river walk she worked near every day. There was a bridge a few feet away from the store so the sounds of vehicles passing by could be heard faintly over the calming music of café Altea.

"Yeah," She sighed despondently as she turned her gaze back towards Hunk once more, "I haven't seen Shiro come in during the mornings like he normally does, is Allura alright?" She asked.

The truth is, no one really actually knew. She didn't mumble a word to them and the only people she allowed on the other side of the curtain were the female nurses. That curtain was like a wall between her and the world that kept everything bad from entering on the other side where she was. It was almost like her heart in a way; easy to get to and easy to harm.

Hunk looked down at his coffee and frowned, "She isn't letting anyone on the other side of the curtain and she hasn't eaten a thing yet so I'm not sure..." He slowly pushed his coffee to the side and let out a deep, deep sigh. "Keith is watching her today until his surgery so hopefully everything is well."

"She'll come around."

Hunk looked up at Shay with confusion in his eyes, "What did you say?" He hadn't been paying much attention.

Shay reached over and gently placed her hands on his as she smiled gently, "She'll come around," she repeated herself. "The way Shiro talks about her and the way his eyes sparkle while he's doing so allows me to believe this. She's stronger than she believes and Shiro knows this too."

"We all know it," Hunk agreed as he tried to ignore the thundering in his chest from his heart. "She's the best out of the entire group and even Keith knows this and he's not exactly the brightest when it comes to these things."

They both laughed at Hunk's little joke before he let out a long sigh. "I was wondering if you uh-" he scratched his chin awkwardly and looked away from the beautiful girl sitting across from him, "never mind."

Shay tilted her head to the side and allowed her brunette bangs to fall over her right eye like water cascading over rocks. Hunk didn't understand why she talked to him, he was this weird kid who didn't know how to talk to people let alone be out in public without having a panic attack when he didn't have someone near him he was familiar with. Shay was totally gorgeous and way out of his league and yet here he was drinking coffee with her across from him. The way the sunlight filtered through the window to paint her pale skin in a gentle golden hue made his heart warm up and the way her mocha colored eyes seemed almost a caramel color because of the light made him smile softly. Who knew lighting could make someone even more beautiful than what they were originally. She was like an angel.

"What is it Hunk?" Shay asked as she slowly tucked her short brown hair behind her ear and stared at him with her undivided attention. "You can ask me anything."

Hunk felt his hand tighten around the coffee cup as his cheeks became warm and his eyes dropped from her intense gaze. "I was just going to ask if you um if you wanted to I don't know ah-"

He became a stuttering mess trying to figure out how to word this question properly. He didn't know what he had even wanted to ask to begin with. His mind was a jumbled mess. Did he want to ask her to go with him to visit Keith and Allura? Did he want to ask her to spend time with him here at the river walk? Did he even know how to ask out a girl to begin with? Oh god, he didn't even know how to ask out a girl!

He felt his palms begin to sweat as his hand shook making the coffee slosh around gently inside of the cup. He hadn't ever even gotten to speak to a pretty girl before this. All through middle school he had just been a complete mess. He would want to say one thing but say the opposite like 'hello' but it would be something like 'macaroni'. Hello and macaroni didn't even sound alike!

"Hunk?" Shay frowned and leaned forward slightly, "you look pale, are you o-"

"Lasagna," Hunk stated before his jaw dropped open in a silent scream. He had just told Shay 'lasagna'. Of all things that could've come out of his mouth what came out was lasagna. How embarrassing.

Shay was taken back by his sudden outburst. She had leaned back in her seat with her thin brows raised and her eyes wider than that of a pothole and her lips were parted in a silent gasp. Hunk felt his heart sink into his chest as he realized how much of an idiot he must've looked in front of her and gave up the hope of ever being able to ask her out.

But then, out of the smallest of chances, Shay began to laugh in amusement. She placed her right hand over her mouth and her left over her stomach as her body shook. Her eyes were shut and her brows were turned upwards as she fought to catch her breath. Her laugh was so... indescribable. It was bittersweet and yet it wasn't. She definitely felt bad for Hunk but her laugh was so uplifting at the same time. It was beautiful. It was addictive. It made Hunk want to blurt out another stupid word just to keep hearing that sweet, cavity giving, laugh that made him smile across from her in amazement.

"Yes," Shay finally spoke as she pulled her hands away from her body and reached out to place them on Hunk's shaking hands to steady them and keep him from spilling the coffee. "I'll go on a date with you if that's what you're asking me but after we're done we have to go see your friends."

Hunk turned bright red as he looked down at Shay's pale hands. She was holding his hands. His eyes widened as he glanced up at the girl sitting across from him before looking back down at his hands, "You're holding my hands."

"Yes, I know, I kinda put them there."

"Whoa," Hunk breathed as he felt his ears burning like a hot bonfire. This was totally unreal. "Uh... let's uh go," he said slowly as he looked back up at Shay to see her smiling. He felt his heart thundering in his chest and if it could, he believed it would have jumped out of his chest to do a little tap dance on the table top. "Yeah, let's go get this date started and buy stuff for Keith and Allura!" He stated with more confidence and began to eagerly scoot out of the booth.

Shay laughed as she followed him out the door making sure to throw his coffee away as he led the way outside. They walked around for hours alongside the manmade river next to them. They ignored the weird looks people gave them as Shay excitedly pulled him into different clothing shops to have him see her in different styled dresses. She twirled and twirled and twirled in each one to give a view of how it looked and he applauded her every time. She would come out pretending to be a whole different person and named the outfit something surreal like 'Thirty-year-old housewife looking for a new husband' which Hunk loved since it was a floral dress with a strappy back on it. She was a total theatre kid.

After they had their fun in the clothing shops they had bought ice cream and sat at the edge of the sidewalk allowing their legs to dangle over the edges of the walk in order to have the bottoms of their shoes scrape the water's surface creating ripples in the flow. Shay had recited all of Hamlet to Hunk and had done different voices for him to be entertained by as they ate it. She was a total Shakespeare geek and could recite even the most forgettable lines. Hunk sat there and listened to her many voices as he watched the water flow past them.

After this, they quietly strolled around talking about the most mundane of things like their favorite colors, foods, or even their favorite things to do outside of school. Shay loved yellow, ironically lasagna, and she enjoyed theatre club which was totally a surprise to Hunk that made him quietly smile. They had been having such a great time so that when Hunk stopped to look at her he felt his entire world stop.

No, this wasn't one of those cliché moments where he found Shay's beauty to be out of this world (though it was) but rather an 'oh shit' moment. Across the river, Hunk saw something he knew he shouldn't have seen. It was Nyma and Lot or kissing.

"Is there something on my face or?" Shay reached up to touch her fingertips to the corners of her mouth gently out of fear of the chocolate ice cream still being there. "I thought I cleaned up my chocolate mustache."

Hunk shook his head and began to dig out his phone from his back pocket with shaky hands, "N-No you're fine, I mean beautiful- no I mean-" Hunk let out a groan of embarrassment and frustration as he quickly snapped a photo of the cheater across from them before he looked at Shay who was bright red in her cheeks and ears.

"Uh, why did you take a photo of that couple?" She asked curiously and wiped her face just in case Hunk was lying to her.

Hunk pointed to Nyma who was now walking away hand-in-hand with Lotor the douche. "She's Lance's girlfriend or uh at least he says she is."

"She's with that guy with long hair though?" Shay frowned and looked down at Hunk in confusion. Her expression suddenly changed to disgust as she realized what was happening, "Oh my god, how can she do that?" She sounded furious as she glared at Nyma who was disappearing from sight.

Hunk shook his head and began to walk away in order to get a ride to the hospital. "I wouldn't put it past her but I have to show the picture to Lance before school so he doesn't do anything with her he'll regret," Hunk stated.

Shay's shoes scraped against the pavement as she caught up and slid her hand into Hunk's without a second thought. "I'm coming, I'm your witness in case he thinks you're lying and I also have a car so I can get us there in a jiffy!"

"You're holding my hand..."

"We're on a date Hunk, indeed I am."

Just like she had said, Shay had gotten them to the hospital quickly and safely. They rushed up the stairs trying to get to Keith's room before Lance left the hospital for the night. Hunk was scared. He was afraid of how Lance would react. He didn't want his friend to call him names, he didn't want to be the source of his friend's tears, and he certainly didn't want to argue with him.

As Shay and Hunk stepped out of the stairway they saw Lance walk out of Keith's room with a grim look on his face and his hands tugging at the edge of his shirt. "Lance!" Hunk exclaimed and placed his hands on his friend's shoulders the moment he managed to catch up to him a few inches from Keith's open door.

"Hunk?" Lance looked at Hunk with confusion, his eyes red and glossy as if he was holding back tears and his cheek was a slight shade darker than his face and shaped like a hand. His blue eyes slowly shifted over to Shay who quickly joined them panting. "Shay? Why are you guys here?" He asked.

Hunk slowly reached down to dig in his pockets once more, "It's about Nyma," He began.

Lance's brows dipped into a scowl as he shoved Hunk to the side and began to briskly walk away with his cheeks puffed out, "I don't want to hear about my girlfriend right now Hunk, I have to go meet her at her house in an hour."

"Lance, wait!" Shay exclaimed as she went to reach out to grab the scrawny boy. "It's really important."

"Oh okay then tell me," Lance said in a jeering tone as he glared over his shoulder to lock eyes with Hunk. "Listen, big guy, take this however you want but frankly I couldn't give a shit about whatever you have to say because all I want to do is go see her and kiss her because she's the only one who appreciates what I do for her! If you're trying to do something to keep me from being happy with her then I suggest you go talk to Keith about it since you both don't seem to appreciate what I do."

Hunk was stunned. He didn't understand what Lance had meant by any of that. His sudden outburst was unexplainable but neither he nor Shay made any more attempts at stopping Lance from getting into the elevator to go see Nyma.

"Hunk..." Shay whispered as she pointed to Keith's room. Her face was saddened.

He slowly slid his phone back into his pocket, his chest heavy with dread before he peeked into the room to see the stuffed hippo Keith loved on the floor slumped over against the wall like it had been thrown with force. Keith was in the bed under the blankets shaking and crying.

Hunk looked up at Shay but neither of them said a word. Words weren't necessary for either of them to understand that what happened was something out of their control.

He would just have to figure out a way to tell Lance before the guy made a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if you enjoyed this chapter and leave suggestions or concerns in the comments, please! Have a wonderful night/day <3


	33. Paradise (Allura)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura remembers the things people who care about her and tries to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was going to try to make the updates every other Sunday but I sadly cannot seem to do so with my busy schedule so I will try to get one chapter out every two weeks on Sundays (yes, I realize this is Wednesday but y'all deserve a chapter).

There were things in life that could bring back so many emotions to a single person that no words could ever possibly describe. Those fleeting moments in life may have been short-lived and simple but the effects it had on your mind was long lasting and impossible to forget. Sometimes those memories brought a small smile to your lips and made your chest flutter in a mixture of positive emotions or they could make your knees give out from under you and cause tears to pour from your eyes as your desperate cries for help scratched at your throat and grounded you to reality.

To Allura, those little moments she had been witness to where she spent times with her friends and family had been the best moments of her life. She loved Coran with all her heart and loved his weird and goofy personality at home. She loved his terrible cooking and even his fluffy mustache. With Keith, she had enjoyed the little talks they had when they hung out even when they were pointless or consisted of only Keith's worries about life. She loved the memories of Pidge she had of when their hate towards each other became the foundation of their friendship. With Lance, she enjoyed seeing him smile fondly at her or even listen to her intently and with Hunk she simply enjoyed his calming presence.

But Shiro, he was different from them. She shared moments with him where her tears that fell from her face had been wiped away gently with his love. She could find herself smiling at the memory of them being in the supermarket together as he pushed her around in the cart allowing her to feel like a kid for the first time in years likes she was supposed to. She loved the way he would look down at her and just stare at her, his grey eyes full of so much love and compassion that he could easily put any romantic movie to shame with the heart he shared with her in every little thing he did for her. She appreciated all the things he did like giving her a small rice bowl that had been repaired with gold to remind her that sometimes it's okay to be broken, giving her a whiteboard to help her speak to others when her voice was nowhere to be heard because of the heavy feeling inside of her chest weighing it down, the gentle kisses he gave her when she slowly fell asleep in his arms for the first time.

She cherished these things about him but even in the end, they were no match for the memories that were causing her this indescribable pain that would make her body shiver in a cold sweat and wake her up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down her face. The memories Lindon gave her were permanently etched into her bones with the words 'worthless', 'impure', 'disgusting', 'slut', and much more that caused her to pull at her hair and squeeze her eyes shut to block out the memories. She was haunted by her own demons now in her sleep and even her waking hours. Closing her eyes only made the memories worse. She remembered the feeling of being knocked down onto the floor, the moment her entire life had been derailed. She couldn't forget the twisting feeling in her stomach as she felt that monster take advantage of her dazed state, she couldn't forget how his blood tasted in her mouth as she bit down on his ear in a moment of her survival instinct kicking in, and she couldn't forget how good it had felt to nearly killing him out of anger for the world.

As she had looked out that window before she was held in Shiro's arms and allowed a night's rest she had been admiring how beautiful the outside world was. She watched how the people outside walked on the sidewalk eating, talking on the phone, or even laughing without a worry. Her slender finger had traced the blotchy pattern of the sunlight filtering through the trees and resting on her white bedsheets with a heavy feeling in her heart. Even on a beautiful day where the dewy grass shimmered like diamonds, a day where people laughed, a day where children ran around in parks chasing one another, it hadn't changed her feelings. She had felt worthless, she felt used, she felt incomplete and broken and she wanted to end it.

She didn't want to keep trying, she had done that during her senior year at the school even when Lindon had been abusing her and the people she loved. She had put people through so many unnecessary problems and they suffered from Lindon's wrath. She hated herself. She hated the fact she wasn't strong. She hated how she didn't have the courage to take down that wall she had erected out of her fear of being taken advantage of. She hated how everyone suffered in some way because of her. Her parents, her uncle, Shiro, the support group.

She had wanted to somehow end it all even if she was under watch. That is until she had woken up in Shiro's arms as he quietly snored above her. His eyes were closed and his lips were parted as he took in long breaths. She listened to the steady rhythm of his heart gently thumping in his chest and felt her cheeks warm up as she watched his face quietly.

She had always found that scar of his to be unique. It was his signature thing, the boy with the jagged looking scar running across his face. The boy of wonder. It drew people in who allowed curiosity to drive them to ask him about it. It opened up people to meet one of the most amazing people in the world. It had kept Allura on her toes wondering where he had gotten it from. Slowly she carefully moved her arm out from under Shiro's arms that had been wrapped around her protectively and reached out to touch his face. Her fingers were shaking as she got close to his face but the moment she touched that beautiful scar her breath hitch as her hand jerked back slightly out of alarm. It was warm and smooth despite the rough appearance it had on the outside. She couldn't help herself from placing her fingers back onto it in order to trace it like she had done with the light on her bed earlier that day.

She ran her hand along his face, slowly taking in the weirdness of how strangely inviting his scar was. It was like it invited her into a private moment of Shiro's life he refrained from telling others about. The memories he shared with her of pain and misfortune. His almond-shaped grey eyes slowly fluttered open drearily as he was awoken by the gentle touch of Allura's fingers driven by wonder and love. She didn't think it was ugly, it was beautiful in her eyes.

"Your fingers are freezing," he mumbled, his grey eyes glazed over in exhaustion and yet so full of life and love as he stared down at her absentmindedly pulling her in tighter.

Allura didn't say a word as she shamelessly looked away from his face and dropped her hand down into her lap in embarrassment. Shiro gave a small sigh before he took her hand in his and brought it back to his scar closing his eyes at her cold touch and embracing it.

"I got it from my dad for telling my teacher about what he did to me and my sister," Shiro said quietly. "I hadn't known how bad his actions were when my teacher asked me about my bruises and so when I told him I was brought home by my mother shortly after the police were contacted. He had carved it into my face with a knife seconds before he was taken away from us forever."

Allura stared at Shiro with wide blue eyes. She wanted to do something to help that painful look in his eyes go away. She wanted to help him feel as safe as he made her feel. She slowly reached up and pressed her chapped lips against the warm scar and placed her freezing hands on his hot cheeks as he stared at her with wide eyes.

She pulled away and stared at him with her brows slightly furrowed out of worry that she had done something she wasn't supposed to do. She wanted to tell him she loved him like he had done before. She wasn't afraid of him, she felt like he was the gold that would bring her broken pieces back together in order to make her whole again.

"You kissed my scar?" Shiro asked in disbelief as he reached up and pressed his fingertips against the spot she had gently kissed seconds before. "That's a little weird but I think I like weird," he chuckled before he gently pressed his forehead against Allura's and took her hands in his to warm them up. "Why didn't you tell me you were cold I would've given you more of the blanket you dork."

Allura pouted and looked away from him. This was the chance she had been waiting for. It was the moment she would find her voice and begin her healing process. "You looked peaceful," her voice was hoarse and scratchy sounding as if it hadn't been used in years. "I didn't want to wake you."

Shiro pulled her into his chest and squeezed her tightly causing her heart to jump out of her chest in both fright and surprise. "I missed your voice Allura."

"I've missed you," she admitted quietly and closed her eyes in order to wrap her arms around his body. "I love you too."

"I know you do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the lack of activity on my profile. As you all know, I'm very focused on school and work right now so writing isn't my priority but I'm still trying to get chapters out for y'all.
> 
> I really do hope that my writing is still just as good as it was from the start despite the chapters getting a bit shorter as we progress. They keep shrinking in size simply due to the fact that time is very limited to write each one and if I were to write a full-length chapter it would be a monthly posting and I don't feel like it is fair to y'all to go from every other week to a month's wait for each chapter despite the quality. Please leave your criticism in the comments or any questions you have and I'll be sure to reply to most of them. Thank you :)


	34. New Life, New Desires (Pidge)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for never posting for nearly two months :(  
> I took a hiatus from writing Beautiful Disasters due to health reasons and I am feeling much better now. This chapter is weird when compared to the rest of them so I apologize but please, enjoy.

Tiny footsteps echoed down the hallway as Katie rushed to the top of the stairs, a smile painting her face as her breath hitched slightly in her chest. The bell had rung and she was beyond excited to see the only person it could be. She was ready to pull out all of the art she had done from school and even in her free time, she wanted to go dig through her messy room to pull out that crumbled certificate that said she was the first place winner in the science fair, and she was most excited to jump into her father's arms laughing and crying tears of elation while her brother tried to keep himself composed and keep his stupid voice crack under control before he too joined the little hug.

Her mother would be the last one to join in. It was the same every time. She would stand in the doorway to the kitchen, her hands cupped around her mouth as a smile pulled at the corners of her mouth and tears painted her pale cheeks in streaks of glistening clear liquid. She would take a hesitant step forward before she nearly tackled her husband and children sobbing as the heavy weight of worry and concern being lifted from her shoulders. She wouldn't have to worry about Samuel Holt again until his next deployment to Iraq and she would cherish every single day he was home with their family and together they would live as if every day were their last one as a family.

Katie could remember so clearly the last time she had seen her father with sand still stuck in his now sun-bleached brown hair and his tanned skin. She had been with him at the school play Matt had been in. It was a musical version of Brother's Grim where he got to be the frog that was kissed by Miss Popular in his grade. Samuel laughed a hearty laugh watching his son turn cherry red in his cheeks as the girl stuck her tongue out in disgust from kissing his cheek while Katie and her mother sat in astonishment that the girl actually even gave Matt a kiss on his cheek. After that, they had gone out to eat as Matt decided to scream out the window that he was, in fact, the 'god damn frog king'. Needless to say, Mrs. Holt wasn't that happy with her thirteen-year-old son.

Now Katie was practically tripping over herself as she made her way towards the stairs just in time to see Matt stumbling out of his room as he struggled to put on a pair of shorts over his Star Trek boxers while he tried to stay balanced on two feet. "Dad's home Katie!" Matt's voice cracked with excitement and anticipation.

Katie jumped up on Matt who only had his shorts halfway up his legs. "We get to see him again after a year Matt, he's actually here again!" She began to laugh uncontrollably as her big brother pushed her off and wriggled around to pull his shorts up.

Once he finally had the shorts above his knees he stood up and held a hand out to Katie as he helped her to her two feet and began leading her down the staircase. "I can't wait to show him my chest hair, I'm a man finally!" He proclaimed triumphantly as he hopped down onto the ground floor and allowed his little sister to jump onto his back.

Katie raised her fist in the air and smiled in elation, "Onward my valiant, single chest haired steed!"

With some grumbling of protest from Matt, they ran around the house and towards the front hall where they found their mother standing in the doorway with her hands at her side limply and her face blank. In the sunny light on the other side of the door, three men stood with their formal uniforms on and one holding a folded flag and one of the others holding the leash of a German Shepherd.

Matt stopped abruptly despite Katie griping about how he can't stop until they saw their father. "Mom?" Matt slowly set Katie on the floor and cautiously approached their mother who was too stunned for words, her chestnut-brown eyes glued to the flag as if it were the worst thing she had ever seen in her life.

"Where's dad?" Katie peeked around her family and looked around outside only for a smile to cross her face when she saw the dog. It was her father's bomb dog he would have helped him find bombs, guns, anything that was dangerous. "Rover!" She shouted and pushed the soldier in front of her out of the way and tackled the dog that showered her with slimy licks of excitement.

The soldier that had been holding Rover's leash looked down at Katie with the darkest expression on his face. At the time she never really understood why her mother broke down into tears as Rover covered Katie with kisses and she didn't understand why her mother kept asking the soldiers if Samuel had served his country well? She didn't know why Matt stared at that American flag with such a horrified expression on his acne covered face and she didn't understand why the soldiers told her that her father was a brave man. To her, today was a normal day where her father hadn't come home.

It never dawned on her that he was gone forever until she was at the funeral with Matt holding their mother closely to muffle her grief-stricken cries. She realized that she would never see her father again as Rover whimpered quietly at her side. She realized as the dirt was dumped on top of the casket and as she was dragged away with tears streaming down her face and her throat burning with her screams of protest that she had had her final supper with her father a year ago.

Now, years later, Katie had disappeared slowly from this world and was replaced with someone better; Pidge. Pidge quietly sat at his desk at school tapping the eraser of his pencil on the desktop while trying to keep up with the slow pace of the chemistry class. It was like this every time even in an AP class, he was always ahead of the class and always waiting for them to catch up. His mind kept drifting back to the events from the previous day of when he found Keith's biological father.

He closed his brown eyes for a long moment and breathed out slowly, he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that a father would abandon their child just like that. The idea was weird to him since he had a father figure at his side until Samuel's last breath. He felt sick just thinking about it.

He set his pencil down on his desk as his stomach gurgled painfully and he felt a shooting pain erupt from his abdomen. He hated this. He hated biologically being a girl. He carefully placed his hand on his abdomen applying pressure to the area in hopes of alleviating the pain as much as he could. He wished he could just ignore it, hell pitching a tent in class was a better alternative than having his insides cramp up like they did.

A piece of paper bounced off of Pidge's fluffy hair causing him to open his eyes to look down at his desk in time to see the crumbled piece of the paper roll to a stop at the corner. Slowly he lifted his hand from his abdomen, winced, and reached out to take the rough feeling piece of paper in his hands before he began to quietly unwrinkle it in curiosity and annoyance. On the inside were a poorly drawn person with oversized glasses, a scribbled mess of hair, and the words 'I try hard to be a boy but I am still a pussy' scribbled onto it in the shittiest penmanship he had ever seen.

He scowled and crumbled the paper up violently causing some students to glare at him in annoyance while the culprit of the cruel joke snickered from two seats away. "I bet she takes it in the ass like the faggot she is."

Pidge tightened his grip on the ball of paper before he twisted around in his seat and chucked it as hard as he could at the annoying kid named Jaime. He was a Hispanic kid who liked making other's lives hell and also talking badly about others in his native tongue.

The acne covered jerk flinched as the ball bounced off his nose and landed on the floor. "At least I don't fucking look like Ann Frank," Pidge retorted and turned around to take notes wanting to drop the conversation right there.

"Oh shut up Katie," Jaime threw his pencil at Pidge causing the tip of it the stab him in the side of his head. "Just admit you want dick and stop pretending to be something you're not. It's obvious you're just joining the stupid seven hundred gender trend like one of those social justice snowflakes."

Pidge couldn't remember which part of that sentence actually set him off but he knew that the use of his birth name was what truly ruffled his feathers and probably led to him jumping over poor Judie's desk in order to knock Jaime out of his and pin him to the floor before he slammed his fist into the asshole's face. The wrestled on the floor as students struggled to pull their phones out in order to record Pidge beating the hell out of Jaime as they rolled around on the floor causing their teacher to ring the administrators in fear of something bad happening.

"Fuck her up Jaime!"

"Are you kidding me, Katie is totally going to tear him a new one!"

The kids watched and encouraged the sophomore and freshman fighting on the floor. Pidge's glasses had fallen on the floor and his sight was blurry but he could still see Jaime's ugly pizza face as he slammed his fist into his cheek before he got kicked off and stumbled into a desk behind him sliding it across the floor and making him fall flat on his rear. Before Jaime could rush over to start his counterattack, the administrators rushed through the door, grabbed the boy by his arms and held him back while the other administrator grabbed Pidge and began lifting him from the floor but it didn't stop the tiny and angry kid from lashing out one last time and ramming his heel into Jaime's face causing aloud crunching noise to echo through the room as the kid began to cry out in pain.

"My nose, she broke it!" Jaime cried as they got escorted out of the room causing some kids to quietly laugh to themselves.

They were placed in separate rooms while their parents were contacted. Pidge sat there for half an hour tapping his heel against the carpeted floor of the vice principle's office waited for his mother to show but at nine thirty he was surprised by the sight of his older brother knocking on the door with a tired look on his face.

"Really Pidge? A three day suspension? You could've at least gotten a week," Matt smiled slightly as he motioned for his younger sibling to follow him out the door. "If you're gonna fight go big or go home... well, you are going home but you know what I mean."

Pidge angrily threw on his backpack and shuffled out the door with Matt's hand on his shoulder. "Shut up Mr. Squeaky-Clean-Record."

"Hey, I enjoy being the perfect kid but I also enjoy seeing you be happy so why did you do it?" Matt asked as he smiled goodbye to the young office assistant smiling dreamily at him making Pidge roll his eyes. "That Hymen kid said you attack him for no reason but I'm not in NASA's internship program for nothing. I know you wouldn't do that unless provoked."

Pidge shrugged his brother off his shoulder and walked through the front doors of the school to find Matt's ugly minivan. "I don't want to talk about it Matthew, where's mom at anyways? Shouldn't she be the one to pick me up?" Pidge grunted as she tugged on the van's front door only to find it was locked.

Matt flashed her a frown as he unlocked the car and hopped in and started it as Pidge fastened his seatbelt. "I was next to the house phone when they called and you're lucky I was the one to answer because mom would have been going berserk on the administration in there."

"Maybe she should have," Pidge stated dryly as he scrunched his nose up and pulled his bag to his chest trying to ignore the pain in his abdomen that was returning again. "At least she would've shown those homophobic pricks a piece of her mind."

Matt stared at Pidge for a moment before he sighed and fastened his seatbelt. "I guess the other kids are giving you a hard time about you being Pidge? Don't tell mom I'm using his language but fuck them."

Pidge looked up at his brother with wide eyes, "huh?" He never heard the little nerd next to him swear like that.

Matt threw his hands in the air and shrugged, "F-U-C-K them~" he sang out loud before he backed out of the parking space and turned on his radio singing 'fuck you' to the tune of Respect.

"You can't say that," Pidge gasped jokingly, "Not on my good Christian server!"

"Eh screw it," Matt shrugged and rubbed his chin as he drove down the street. "That server hasn't been a good Christian server since the day mom birthed you let's be honest here Pidge."

"Shut up."

"Oh hush my favorite song is on shuffle Pidge get ready for me to blow your mind with my singing skills!" Matt said in excitement as he adjusted his position in his seat with a smile on his face.

Pidge was blessed with such an amazing brother, wasn't he? Unlike normal siblings, Matt didn't see the need to go on an hour-long rant about why fighting someone wasn't good behavior. He knew that Pidge understood he did something he shouldn't have done and he didn't have to remind him.

Pidge smiled slightly as Matt began to headbang to the beat of Africa by Toto. "It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you," he pointed to Pidge and began to shimmy in the drivers seat, "There's nothing that one hundred men or more could ever do," he brought his hand back to ball it into and fist and push it up into the air careful to not punch the roof of his soccer mom car. "I Bless the rains down in Africa. Gonna take some time to do things we never had!"

Pidge began to giggle in his seat as his brother continued this behavior dancing in his seat to the beat of the song and singing every lyric in the perfect pitch. He was a work of art and pidge loved him to death. He waited in the car while Matt went inside the store to grab a few things. He checked the chat only to see that it had been inactive for about a week now but he did have a private message from Hunk.

Hunk: listen, Nyma is cheating on Lance and I don't know what to do, can you help me later?

Pidge sighed and told Hunk okay before he stuff his phone into his bag. A tiny clicking noise sounded as Matt unlocked the red van and stepped inside basically throwing the white 'thank you' bag onto Pidge as he seated himself. Pidge peeked inside and found about ten bags of chocolate, coffee, white hair dye, and even some Midol inside of it causing him to smile quietly.

"I'm not blind, I can tell when it's your time because you look so sad," Matt mumbled as he put on his seatbelt. "Also, we're doing the white streak thing today if you want. It's for Allura."

"Only if you do frosted tips."

"Guy Fieri look out because Matthew Marcus Holt is gonna become the mayor of Flavor Town!" Matt shouted and put on his Flavor Town remix like the complete idiot he was.

Pidge rolled his eyes and sat up, "Why are you so stupid?"

"That's not what your mother said last night," Matt flicked Pidge's ear and chuckled.

Pidge made a barfing noise, "My mom is your mom genius."

Matt's face dropped as he realized what he said and he began to make gagging noises just like Pidge. "Oh god, I think I'm going to go die in my closet now because of that joke."

The two of them laughed obnoxiously loud from inside the car and continued making jokes about memes and even the fact that Matt was just a living meme himself. When they pulled up into their driveway pidge felt anxiety creep up in his throat as he stared at the front door. He wasn't ready to go inside to face his mother with the news of his suspension or have to face the fact he would practically be chained to the bathroom for the next four days as he suffered from God's punishment for rejecting the life he had been given.

The two siblings quietly got out of the car and stalked up to the door and entered the quiet little home without a word even being spoken amongst themselves. "I'm home mom!" Matt called out as he shut the door and slid off his tennis shoes.

"Is my baby Pidge okay?" Mrs. Holt asked as she came out of the kitchen with a towel to dry her wet hands. Her face was full of worry.

Pidge was confused for a moment until he felt Matt's hand on his shoulder, "Yeah he said that the cramps were just getting worse is all," He flashed a small smile at Pidge.

Mrs. Holt let out a long breath of relief as she placed a dried hand over her chest and smiled, "Well at least it's just cramps and nothing life threatening right honey?" She asked.

Pidge nodded quietly and kicked at the floor, "Yeah..."

"I'm going to dye the tips of my hair white and give Pidge a white streak by the way," Matt began to scoot Pidge towards the only bathroom downstairs as he took the plastic bag from the shorter Holt. "You should totally do it with us mom, it's for our friend Allura."

"She's the poor girl in the hospital right?" Mrs. Holt asked as she watched her only two kids rush past her.

"Yeah, she's been upset and before that thing happened she wanted everyone to die a piece of their hair white," Pidge said as he scooted into the bathroom.

Their mother reached up and touched a piece of her hair hesitantly, "I guess a simple streak wouldn't hurt but Matthew Holt, if you dare dye anymore than a strip of my hair white I will take you out of this world!"

"That would be a blessing mom."

Pidge laughed as their mother slapped Matt on the back of his head making the twenty-two-year-old man cry like a little girl. Pidge and his mother worked on dying Matt's tips white as the boy sang them songs to keep them entertained. Once they were done with the dork they quickly did the simple white streaks for Pidge and their mother before the three of them sat down in the living room to watch TV. Pidge had fallen asleep halfway through the Jungle Book with a smile on his face. Maybe being suspended wasn't going to be that bad after all.


	35. Prom-dump (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance realizes old scars are capable of being reopened with the simple mistake of an oblivious person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I apologize for always disappearing without a word and not updating for weeks on end I am just a busy person juggling like five books I want to write and this one too so I'm not the best at multitasking especially when I have work and school too :(
> 
> Here is the next chapter so please tell me whether or not you enjoyed it!

He had been sitting in his chair at home in the kitchen the night it had happened. He had been staring down at his unfinished math homework as his stomach begged him for food in groans that sounded like a wild animal in pain. He wanted to hurt himself for having these thoughts. The thoughts of binging on everything he could get his little hands on the inside of the fridge.

It was that night he had watched his father stumble through the front door drunk off his rocker with his tie hanging around his neck loosely, his curly black hair a complete mess, and pink lip prints on the white collar of his shirt. His eyes were droopy from his drunken state and he looked sweatier than a farmer after a long day of work.

Lance who had been so focused on trying to ignore the painful cramping of his stomach perked up with a small smile on his face as he watched his father walk in. "Papa?" He stood up, eyes wide with surprise.

His father stood there for a moment with a confused look on his face as if he could comprehend the fact that this was his son speaking to him. "W-what do you want?" His words slurred together as he giggled slightly.

"Alejandro?" Lance's mother's drowsy voice sounded as she emerged from the hallway a few feet away rubbing her eyes with a small yawn. She was wearing her pink robe and held little newborn Heidi in the crook of her arm.

Lance didn't understand what all of this had meant at the time but years later he would always remember the night as the night his father had made Lance truly understand how low a person could stoop. Now, he quietly sat in a brightly lit purple colored room that was decorated in such a girlish way that it made him feel out of place. Polaroids of Nyma and her snobby friends were pinned on the wall above her bed showing them in some of the most cliché poses that could even make god himself sigh with annoyance. On the opposite side next to the door laid the TV, stereo, and even a giant desk with Apple's newest computer sitting on top of it surrounded by various cheer trophies she had won.

To the wall facing the outside, there was only a window where one could sit inside of and stare outside into the street below or read a book on a rainy day in April such as the one the other day. There were various motivational quotes written on this wall as well as a few pillows placed neatly in a pile of the white carpeted floor. The other side of the room left only her walk-in closet that was filled to the brim with clothes she never wore.

Currently though, while Lance sat cross-legged on the teal quilts of Nyma's bed with her black pillow on his lap, the blonde girl was trying on some of the prom dresses she had bought that day and showing them off to him in excitement. She was totally into it giving Lance a show as she didn't even bother closing her closet door as she slid on a different dress. When she stepped out and showed him the black gown that went all the way to the floor and could attach to her wrist she gave a small little spin as she laughed in enjoyment. Lance, however, couldn't be seen to find himself getting into the whole thing not even when he got to see her getting changed.

It wasn't the same as it had been before. Before they had begun to date he had stared at her dreamily from across the room and his palms would become drenched in sweat if she even muttered a single word in his direction. He felt like he could run a marathon at times when he was with her but now he felt like he had been drained of all his energy and that the more he spent his free time with his girlfriend the more he lost sight of himself. He felt guilty for snapping at Hunk back at the hospital but he was too upset to apologize for it because of Keith. Lance had done something he thought would have been kind. He thought telling Keith about Ryan was the right thing.

What did he know?

He didn't understand how Keith must've felt when his father had left him. He probably woke up one morning to find his father's room empty and no one in the house left to explain to Keith what was about to happen to his happy little life. Lance was stupid to tell Keith about his father and he regretted it. He regretted ever agreeing to go to the support group. If he hadn't gone that one day then he wouldn't have ever met anyone he had hurt by mistake.

All his friends he had wronged like Hunk wouldn't feel so sad. They would have been happy with one another without Lance there.

"Lance?" Nyma frowned as she dropped her hands to her sides and stopped twirling around in the white dress she had out for a minute before. "Why do you look so upset?"

Lance looked up and noticed that he had been quietly staring at the black fluffy pillow as his slender fingers picked at each individual fuzzy piece he could find out of guilt. "Oh it's nothing, just tired is all," he smiled weakly at his girlfriend.

The blonde girl stared at him for a long moment before she let out a long sigh and dropped her arms to her sides and slowly made her way to stand above Lance. Her hands slid over his cheeks as she tilted his head up to lock their blue gazes together, "Hey, you can tell me anything. I'm you're girlfriend remember?" She said in a bittersweet voice that made Lance feel a little less upset.

How was he even supposed to begin telling her about the problem? Was he supposed to come out and say that he thinks he's attracted to his best friend who probably still wants to throw him into a fiery volcano? How was he supposed to tell the girl that he was dating that he was probably falling for someone and a guy at that? He would be labeled as a complete freak by His school and he would be bullied even more than what he was.

Just the thought of what Lotor and the others could do to him, just imagining the looks people would give him, he felt his heart get this stabbing pain and he felt so much more alone than he had ever felt before. He didn't want to be hated even more for being who he was; a gay, vomiting freak. He didn't want his life to end here before he even got friends. He didn't want to be stepped on even more. Perhaps living in a lie was better if it meant hiding from the pain of reality?

He forced a small smile on his face as he looked away from Nyma in visible pain. "Like I said, it isn't anything to worry your pretty face about Nyma. Now," he sucked in a deep breath and tried to be Lance. The Lance that used humor as a coping mechanism. The Lance that tried to be happy for the people he loved. "Let's see the rest of the dresses!"

Nyma smiled, jumped up, and clapped her hands together in excitement before she rushed off into the closet to begin fishing around for her next dress. "You're going to absolutely adore this next dress, I think it's the one I'm going to wear to prom!"

Lance sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly as his eyes became droopy from the empty feeling growing ever bigger inside of his chest. He didn't love her but she was his ticket to being normal again. If he told her about how he had lost himself in the intimate thoughts of being with Keith then she would tell everyone and he could end up getting hurt even more than what he did at school. What was he supposed to even do at this point?

He glanced down at his phone with his thin brows furrowed. He didn't want to admit it out loud but he had changed his phone background to Keith and his siblings the night they had fallen asleep together. Sometimes Lance could find himself staring dreamily at it wishing to go back to that moment and kiss Keith gently on his forehead. He wondered what could have been if he had never gotten together with Nyma if he hasn't been so caught up in trying to please others.

Maybe he would be at Keith's bedside right now smiling down at the pale boy. Maybe he wouldn't have screwed up his chances with him. Lance's mind went to one of his fondest memories of Keith and he felt the empty feeling inside become something different. It became warm and fuzzy, it felt welcoming to him. He remembered the photo of Keith on his Instagram of the boy in the field smiling because he had believed to be free of cancer.

He was an enigma. Lance never knew what ran through that head of Keith's; he never knew what he was thinking, what he wanted, or what he was going to do and that is what kept Lance waiting by his side wanting even more from him. He was a fish on a hook all because Keith kept him wanting more.

"Ready!" Nyma exclaimed as she stepped out of her closet with one of the most beautiful dresses Lance had ever seen before.

It was a purple gown that touched the floor with embroidered gems and glitter on the front and the collar was a choker. The chest was designed for a teardrop opening to reveal more skin than what Lance would've wanted but damn, his pants would be on fire right now if he said that it didn't look good on her.

His jaw actually dropped slightly as he stared directly at his girlfriend in awe. "Holy shit," he breathed as his blue eyes wandered up and down her body taking in all of her curves and how well the dress complimented her figure. She was stunning and that dress was definitely the winner.

Nyma smiled coyly as she slowly turned around to reveal the plummeting back of the dress that ended just before her lower back. "This was the dress I wanted from the start but I just had to build up the suspense y'know?"

Oh, Lance did know. Well, sort of. You see, he wasn't staring at the dress anymore or admiring the impossible curves that Nyna had but rather the small, barely noticeable purple spots on the back of her neck, shoulders, and even on her back. He knew what those spots were because after all, he did have one at a certain point in courtesy of Keith. She had not one but multiple hickeys.

"W-what's that?" Lance slowly moved the pillow from his lap and began to stand up with concern and anger forming on his face.

Nyma looked over her shoulder and locked eyes with Lance. She seemed confused as she frowned ever so slightly, "What's what?" She asked.

Lance approached her and placed his fingers on the spots as he tried to remain calm so that he didn't do anything he would regret later on. "These Nyma, you have hickeys all over your back and I know for a fact I didn't put these on you," he looked further down her back and felt his stomach twist into knots of disgust as he realized there were more the lower you went on her body. "Who gave them to you?"

"Stop," Nyma swatted Lance's hand away from her body and crossed her arms over her chest defensively, "Are you actually accusing me of cheating right now? That's so fucking stupid you know you're the only one in my life, Lance."

Lance scoffed out loud as he stared down at Nyma in anger, "Are you saying that I gave those to you when we haven't even gotten as far as," he puffed his cheeks out and used his hand to motion towards Nyma's lower half, "that far!"

"Well no, I'm just," Nyma was out of excuses at this point and decided to do something a little different. She puffed her cheeks out and sighed as she rolled her eyes at Lance, "Okay fine. Monogamy relationships don't meet all the needs I have you know," She began. "You enjoy taking things a little slower than I do and it frustrates me, who can blame me for going for someone who can satisfy the needs you can't help me with?"

"Uh," Lance reached over and grabbed his phone from the bed and began to get ready to leave. "So you're trying to justify cheating on me by trying to act like it was my fault you even did it? What the hell is wrong with you Nyma? You know my father cheated on my mom why would you think this would be fine with me?" He was thoroughly astonished. He didn't know what to exactly do. Should he storm out of her house or stay and try to fix things with her?

Nyma grabbed his hand and began to plead with him to stay, "Wait, I swear it was only a one-time thing, Lance. It won't happen again I swear!" She tugged on him.

"I shut out my friends for you Nyma, how can you ask me to stay with you even after this?" His voice cracked as he tugged away from her grip causing her to stumble back onto her bed. He didn't care anymore about what he said at this point because Nyma had already ruined things he could never fix. "Also, it wouldn't have worked out anyways."

"Wait," Nyma stared at him with wide eyes as she watched the tall boy walk over to her bedroom door to leave, "what do you mean by that?"

Lance couldn't help but force himself to keep his smile from showing as he decided to just go for it. "Because you remember that night when we were sexting? Yeah, I was thinking about Keith the entire time. And also," Lance lifted his hands into the air and made little quotes with his fingers while he said in a mocking tone, "Monogomy relationships don't work for you."

Nyma's jaw dropped and her eyes widened as she watched Lance leave. She was at a total loss for words and that made the smile Lance had been trying to hide stretch from one ear to the other. He had ruined her night like she had with his. He walked out of her house and never had a destination in mind. He just went where his feet carried him.

Time went by and as the moon rose higher in the sky but his hurt and betrayal didn't fade, unlike the stray remnants of daylight slowly dying out. He kept his head down as the tears slipped down his dark cheeks and stained the pavement a dark gray. He didn't really feel a thing as the bottoms of his shoes scraped against the gravel making his way down to the small pond on the side of the road where one could watch the ripples on the surface distort the image of the moon's reflection. He knelt down at the edge and shuddered as a wave of grief swept over him.

He had lost so much today and over the course of the last few weeks. He had lost his first friend at school out of the fear of losing Nyma, he had shut himself out from Allura and Shiro, he pushed Pidge away, and he had hurt Keith beyond forgiveness. All for what? A stupid little fling with a girl who truly never cared for him and wanted to tie strings around his heart in order to control him like he was her own personal puppet.

She was like his father. His father played with Lance's mother's heart for years and led the entire McClain household on believing that they were a happy family. They all believed everything would get better as long as they worked at it and got the help they needed. Lance believed if he changed for both his father and for the people around him, his father and peers would love him again. Nyma had done the same. She had made Lance change to how she wanted him to be and she only made him feel worse than what he was feeling originally.

Lance's fingers dug into the rocky shore of the pond as he grabbed a fistful of pebbles only to hurl them all into the water causing rain-like splashes to echo around him mixing with the cries that came from his throat. Why was he always doing this? Why was he so easily manipulated by everyone?

Why couldn't he be his own person?

When was it enough? Was it when he could no longer open his eyes to see the daylight or was it when he could no longer breathe?

He was over trying to please everyone. He was ready to be his own person and not someone society told him to be. He was ready to be himself again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, I will definitely try to post this Sunday! If not, it will be two weeks from now.
> 
> Please, have an amazing day <3  
> -Anri


	36. Rose-tinted glasses (Shiro)

"Shiro, what is it that you believe to be the most unobtainable thing you can think of?"

The gentle tapping of the pen on the clipboard echoed through the room as the woman stared down at the small boy quietly drawing on a sheet of printer paper with a pencil the woman in green provided him. The paper held the image of a chair and only a chair. It was so simple yet the emotion it held inside of it was terrifyingly overwhelming to the common person. A sense of alienation was the most common thing one could find them self feeling after taking a single glance at the paper.

The chair was sitting by itself surrounded by nothing but the white of the paper and the details of the chair made it seem so life-like it would make his own mother's skin crawl in fright. The second feeling person could get from the image was despair and helplessness. There were dark spots on the chair the boy would later tell the woman in green that were stains from the sins his father had committed. There were abrasions in the chair's arms where his nails had dug into many times over the years of psychological and physical torture he had endured with every touch and word the man of his nightmares had done or spoke.

The small boy with stitches stretching across his cheeks that ran over the bridge of his nose kept his head down with his black hair covering his grey eyes from the world. His hand moved with the stroke of his pencil as he added more and more details to the drawing causing him to twitch slightly now and then out of memories resurfacing.

"I'll ask you again Shiro, what is the most unattainable thing you can think of?" The woman in green asked as she tapped her pen on the clipboard.

The boy's hand stopped suddenly as he froze up and fell into the dreadful feeling of his memories. What was the most unattainable thing for him? There was a list that could stretch all the way to the moon with everything he could never have but there was only one number one spot on it. What was it that he thought to be the most unattainable thing to him?

"Happiness."

The woman in green let out a small sigh as she closed her eyes and set her pen down gently. It was always the same answer, wasn't it? The boy never changed his answer because he truly believed he could never find joy in the darkness of his father's shadow that kept it's claws of sin wrapped around his throat. It held him hostage and kept him from ever feeling the euphoria of a normal childhood.

"Why do you say that?"

The boy's eyes widened slightly as the memories of his father came flooding back to him all at once. His hands covered his ears to keep the many voices of that monster out and his eyes stayed wide open as tears slid down his cheeks out of fear of closing them because if he did, he would see that man's face again. He cried out in shock from it all; the memories were too much for a young child at his age to handle. The woman in green dropped down to the floor and began to try to ease the poor boy from his pain but it was useless as his throat became sore from his sobs.

"Takashi!" A voice jerked the tall boy from his memory as Shiro stood there staring at a normal wooden chair a few feet away from him.

He was standing in the kitchen of his house with a plate full of breakfast in his hands while his sober mother sat at the table with a stern look on her face as she stared at her son.

Shiro blinked and shook his head slightly as he sat down across from his mother. "S-sorry what did you say?" He asked as he looked up at the woman with greying hair and bags beneath her eyes.

His mother let out a small such as she shoveled a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth. "I said I'm going to be working late tonight and probably be home by six in the morning. You shouldn't stare off into space like that, it makes me worry that you're not taking your medicine."

"I stopped taking my medicine when I was fourteen mom," Shiro gave an awkward and shy smile to his mother as he took tiny bites of his food. "I haven't taken it since I finally managed to get my episodes under control."

"You were just staring at that chair Takashi," Shiro's mother pointed her fork at him and narrowed her eyes, "You were definitely remembering something unpleasant with the facial expression you had honey. I want you to get back on your meds before anything bad happens to you and-"

"I am fine mom," Shiro stated forcefully as he stabbed his pancake with a frown. He hated when she acted like this. She never cared until after the police tried to pry his small body away from her arms all those years ago.

The memory of her crying out in desperation as her nails scratched against his pale arms in order to get a grip on her child being dragged away by a police officer never failed to leave a sour taste in his mouth. She had always turned a blind eye to the signs of abuse he had shown throughout the time he had been tortured mentally and physically. Shiro's grades dropped and what did she do? She brushed it off as a rebellious attitude kids get towards their superiors but his guidance councilor wasn't that dense. She helped save Shiro from the pain he had endured for so long.

His mother lowered her gaze and swallowed down her mouthful of food slowly as she set her fork down and cleared her throat. "I suppose you know what is right for you, wouldn't you?" She whispered quietly to herself before she suddenly got out of her seat and began to hurriedly throw her uneaten food away. "Just promise me you'll take the medicine if your episodes start again... or call Doctor Jen."

Doctor Jen. Yes, the woman who had comforted him after asking him such damaging questions. She was someone he never wanted to see again even if she held a special place in his heart. Seeing her meant that he hadn't gotten any better.

"I promise."

The world was just full of empty promises, wasn't it? People promised other's one thing but do the exact opposite and pretend that their word never truly meant a thing. Politicians did it every day by promising the naïve citizens a future that anyone could fall in love with but when they deliver, it's something completely opposite of what they had promised. Everyone had their fingers crossed behind their backs, didn't they?

Shiro had given his mother an empty promise but it wouldn't matter in the end anyway. He would get help if he needed it because he was afraid. He was afraid of the memories coming back, he was afraid of being touched and remembering how his father had molested him, he was scared of the many pleasures of life like love. To experience any of these he would have to take his medicine again, wouldn't he?

Time ticked by as the sun moved its way across the sky in order to follow the quiet boy as he made his way to the place he always went to when he needed to be alone. Sure, he loved being at Allura's side but he had to help himself in his healing process and he couldn't do it if he only helped her. His brows furrowed slightly as he quietly pulled his hood on over his head. He remembered the days when he looked at the world through a pair of rose-tinted glasses. Everything was perfect, they had a nuclear-style family where his mother would stay home and bake all day with a radiant smile. His siblings were out playing in the yard being the girls they were while he and his father played catch behind their stereotypical white fence. They would even have the block come over every Friday for a grill out where all the neighbors had a good time and gossiped whilst sipping on their drink of choice.

All of that was ripped from Shiro's pathetic grip as his father pulled the rose tinted glasses from his face and crushed them beneath the heels of his boots. Shiro quietly came to a slow stop, dragging his feet reluctantly as he heard a quiet meow from the old abandoned trap house to his right. A long time ago, police had raided the place and arrested the owners for running a drug business and not long afterward no one came around due to the fact that the distributors had been arrested and imprisoned.

Now, it stood tall as a two-story house with windows broken by unsatisfied clients, teens trying to find a place to have a fling, and even squatters looking for a place to rest before they move on to their next destination. His grey eyes slowly peeled away from the cracked cement he stood on and squinted at the old home. He never liked it. It reminded him of his old home. They were both blue, they both had two levels, they even had (strong emphasis on had) a flower garden in the front yard. The only difference was that this home had a maroon door while his old home had a dark grey one.

He turned his body slightly and lifted his head up in order to listen for the pitiful sound once more. When Shiro didn't hear the sound of the cat again, he took in a deep breath and closed his eyes before he looked up to the gloomy sky above him. The clouds seemed to be so... restrictive. They closed him out from the bright blue sky behind them. He was taken by surprise when he heard the same, pathetic little cry from earlier coming from the home.

He didn't think twice as he quietly shuffled through the dead and dried out grass in the lawn and stepped onto the old, rickety-looking front porch where he then pushed the maroon door open carefully with his muscles tensed. The door squealed on its hinges as it revealed a sour smell from inside the abandoned home that made Shiro gag in disgust.

He covered his nose and mouth with his hand instinctively as he stepped inside the home, his eyes stinging from the intensity of the smell. He knew what the smell was; it was the smell of feces, rotting animals, leftover drugs, and even possibly another human being. He coughed a little as he looked around the front area, stepping over bricks that had fallen from the walls, old needles from when these crazy druggies would shoot up, and even paper bags that had spray paint on the inside of them.

He continued through the house eventually realizing that the cat's meow had come from the level above him. He was afraid that if he had touched the staircase's railing that he would pull his hand away to find a palm full of splinters and god knows what else. It didn't take more than two minutes before he found the source of those heart-wrenching cries.

In the upstairs bath, there was a blue plastic bag rustling as a kitten inside of it cried out for safety. Shiro's hand slowly fell from his face as he looked over his shoulder to see if anyone else was upstairs with him. When he saw no one else he rushed over to the bathtub and knelt down in order to begin carefully tearing the bag open so that he didn't cause any injury to the animal.

He had seen this plenty of times. People in the ghetto would often do this if they didn't have the money or time to care for newborn animals. They left them in places they prayed no living soul would venture into. However, Shiro wasn't going to turn a blind eye to this since he had a deep love for cats. As he ripped open the bag a little kitten with bright green eyes popped it's head out and clawed at his hand in fright.

"H-Hey!" Shiro pulled his hand back just in time to avoid the tiny claws. His eyes were just as wide as the black and white kitten's were. "I'm not going to hurt you..." Shiro said quietly as he reached forward to pull the kitten out of the bag only for it to nibble on his index finger in defiance.

It was skinny and on the brink of death and yet it was still struggling to survive in this cruel world. Its tail was broken and crooked giving Shiro the answer he had been looking for. The little kitten was left out to die because it was disfigured, it was different and the owner probably didn't have the money to help it. Shiro ignored the vicious little kitten biting his hand as he checked it over for any other signs of injury or even abuse but found nothing else besides a cut in the kitten's ear.

It would take up a lot of his savings he had set aside in case of an emergency but Shiro could help the small thing. He looked down at the kitten as he pulled it into his chest and smiled as it stopped biting him the moment they made eye contact.

"I won't let you die," he whispered.


	37. Stop Looking Back (Keith)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry if there are grammatical errors in an chapters in the future. I don't have an editor and my grammar is god awful so I try to fix it myself but there are slipups and some problems within any chapter from here out. 
> 
> I'll try to correct these errors when I find more of them but some still may not be correct since I probably didn't see or notice them. I apologize for never really updating but I just graduated high school and got a promotion at work AND I'm going to be going to college within the next couple of months so there's still little time for me to update but I will try my hardest to put out more :)

Take away all the possibilities.

Take away all the dreams.

What are you left with now that the things that make a child innocent have been stripped away? What would a child with no hope for the future be called? Perhaps the question that should be asked is why someone would forsake the future of the world like so?

They're empty. They're only existing and not living. For a child to be happy they must have love be given to them but if it is not there then their emotions become stunted and they lose touch with them unable to express how they feel later in life and causing friction in personal relationships.

Maybe that's why Keith sat there in his hospital bed staring down quietly at his fingers painted in the golden rays of sunlight as a tiny ladybug ran across his fingers tickling his skin. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about it all. The little pain he felt in his chest when he thought about Lance all the way to the fire that raged inside of him when he thought of his father being a janitor at the very hospital he was basically living inside of at this point. The feeling of nausea that would sweep over him like a dark cloud when he thought about the day he was abandoned made him feel bile rise into his throat and it left the foul taste of resentment to linger there for hours to come.

What was he to do?

Was he supposed to confront that janitor whenever he came back or was he to just sit and allow the man he had once loved so dearly walk away like that rainy April day? The hurt he felt from the years of wondering where his father went and the crushed hopes and dreams that lay scattered across the floor like a broken glass were unfixable even with sweet nothings that could slip from his father's lips.

 

Nothing could ever heal the wounds that had been carved into his heart like hieroglyphics on stone. Nothing. They were there forever, awaiting the moment historians discover them and study them in order to understand what they represented. Keith's eyes widened and his lips parted to let out a small, child-like gasp as the ladybug opened it's shell to spread its wings and fly out of the room with a quiet vvvvr noise. His hand fell against the white sheets of his bed and his thick brows furrowed into a frown that wrinkled his forehead. Just like everything in this world, all things must leave at a certain point, don't they?

"Keith," Vivian hummed as she entered the hospital room with a small bag of food in hand. "I've brought some greasy food to quench your undying hunger!"

That was how it was meant to be. Everything was meant to leave at some point in time whether it be a baby bird spreading its wings to leap from the nest to make its first flight into the distant freedom it had tasted in the wind that ruffled its feathers in the early mornings. All things would have to continue on in the never-ending cycle of life, however, Vivian never seemed to leave his side, unlike his biological and adoptive parents. Since he first came into the Kogane family, she had been glued to his side tugging on the end of his shirt to hold his hand while she had her thumb stuck in her mouth. Her bright eyes were always gleaming with this child-like innocence in them claiming this mysterious kid who had lost that same light ages ago as her older brother; her lifetime protector who would fight the monsters under her bed and keep the playground bullies away from her. She had never once left his side even after she had taken her thumb from her mouth and began to fall into the life her parents had planned for her, she had always been there as the same little sister he had had since he had been brought into the spotlight for the first time.

She never left his side when times got hard.

She stuck with him until the end with this radiant smile that never faltered.

She was his real family. His only one.

"Viv," Keith's frown changed slowly as his gaze softened on his little sister who was now at his side holing out a Mcdonalds burger with the brightest smile on her face that there ever was. "Mom's gonna wring your neck you know."

Vivian stuck her tongue out and shrugged slightly as Keith took the food from her hand. "Not like it'll change the fact you ate the food."

Keith laughed slightly as he unwrapped the burger and began taking large bites out of it. "You should've had them put extra sauce on it so it would taste even better and be messier than what you got me."

"Why don't I go raid the cafeteria downstairs and slap every sauce I can find onto it," Vivian said as she reached into the bag and tossed a fry into her mouth only to let out a little sigh of joy. She never really ate fries that often.

Keith looked away from his sister and began to nibble at his sandwich. A nauseating feeling had crept its way back into his stomach making his food seem like only fuel to the disgusting fire burning inside. Was he wrong to lash out on Lance earlier?

He felt his heart drop a little as he remembered the hurt in Lance's eyes as Keith had yelled at him to get out. Why was he like this? He always eventually pushed away everyone he cared about and he had finally done it with Lance, someone who meant so much to him. He had been there when Keith had awoken from his surgery just like he had sworn to do and yet Keith wasn't even able to handle the truth about his own life long enough to hear out his only true friend.

What was wrong with him?

"If you had a fight with someone you cared about and you said some hurtful things," Keith swallowed down the last bite of his food and lifted his purple eyes up to meet Vivian's eyes. "What would you do?"

Vivian took a moment to think over her words carefully, her brows slightly rose as she looked up at the ceiling. Then, she brought her index finger to her chin and spoke quietly, "Well, you can never truly take back what's been said right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

She lowered her hand and smiled down at Keith, "Then I would do acts of love to show them that I regret ever saying hateful things."

"What would those be exactly?" Keith inquired.

Vivian laughed out loud for a moment before she shrugged slightly, "I would do things that made them laugh, maybe cry, but overall I would do something that makes them know I understand I did wrong."

Keith found himself smiling softly at his little sister. He would definitely make it up to Lance and try to apologize to him.

His father didn' t matter anymore, he had closed that chapter of his life the moment Lance had entered it. He was ready for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this :)  
> I hope everyone loved it and y'all have a wonderful day/night !!


	38. Nostalgia (Lance)

Lies.

They were what made up society. Politicians used them to fill citizens with false hope for the future, companies used lies to make consumers believe that their products were the best on the market, and people used them to hide secrets from others.

They were disgusting. Deceiving you until the very end, they created the shadow that followed you with a smile as you tried to continue living in a society built upon the false words from a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Lance had been betrayed twice now; once from his father and now Nyma. Where would it end? He hated everything and jus looking up at the roof above his head with the clouds painted across its surface, he didn't feel a thing except remorse for the world.

Prom was only a few nights away now and he had no one to go with, he had nobody to hold close anymore, he had nothing but his own broken heart. He had been betrayed by someone he thought he had trusted but he had also betrayed someone else; Keith. Lance's heart ached when he thought about the boy in the hospital room sitting there with tears in his eyes. Why had Lance ever told him about that stuff? Why couldn't he have minded his own business?

He wanted to hold Keith in his arms, he wanted to bury his face in Keith's ugly mullet and just feel the warmth of his friend once more.

"Lance?" Heidi's voice sounded from the other side of his closed door.

It was nearly two in the morning, why was she even awake? Lance slowly lifted his head from his pillow and sniffled making sure to wipe the stray tears from his redened eyes. "Yes, Heidi?" Lance called out in a hoarse voice.

The doorknob twisted and opened slowly to reveal a dreary eyed girl in her bright yellow pajamas, two pigtails, and a stuffed rabbit as tall as her dragging against the floor. Lance slowly sat up as he watched his little sister walk in slowly with a little frown on her face. She waddled over to the edge of his bed and simply lifted one of her arms into the air for him to help her into his bed.

Lance felt a soft smile paint his face as he leaned over and gently pulled her into the bed with him. He seated her on his lap and kissed the top of her head gently, "Did you have that bad dream again Heidi?" He asked gently.

Heidi pulled her stuffed rabbit close to her chest and buried her face into it to hide her frightened look as she nodded, "I thought that he was going to get me for sure this time Lancey, I thought he was going to hurt Mr. Bunny and I."

She always had the same dream. She would dream of a dark figure lurking inside of her closet that would open the door and crawl out to stand above her bed with no word. As the dream progressed she would hear whispering as the shadowy figure reached it's claw-like hand out to touch her face but she would always wake up just before it did, when the voices were at their loudest. The entire McClain family believed the dream was that of her overactive imagination since her closet door did open a lot on its own due to the fact the door didn't sit right in it's frame but Vincent also believe it was from the trauma of losing her father's presence at a young age.

Lance kissed the top of her head again before he slowly slid her onto the bed and got up to close his door. "He'll never get you Heidi, he probably just wants to be friends with someone as sweet as you are," Lance said with a lilted voice hoping his sister wouldn't pick up on how scratchy his voice really was from crying all night. 

Heidi shook her head and scrunched her nose up, "No, he's scary! I don't wanna be friends with someone scary like him!"

Lance shook his head slightly as he began to sort through his collection of various movies he had laying around his room, he knew the drill. He would always put a movie on and the two of them would watch it until they fell asleep cuddling in Lance's bed so that Heidi felt safe. "You should try to be friends with everyone, even if they are different Heidi," he said quietly.

That's when he found it. Timmy and the Alien, the movie Keith had starred in as a young boy. Lance froze in place as he held the old DVD case with his hand, his blue eyes distant and full of sadness and regret. The cover was like some lame 90s art where Keith's character was running away from the government agents with the penis-looking alien in his arms. The fact that the alien got away with looking as lewd as it did astonished Lance to this day but he knew without a doubt that this was the movie he was going to watch with his sister so he didn't dare question it out loud as he tucked the disk into the DVD tray and started up the movie.

Heidi pouted even more as Lance sat down beside her and pulled the blanket around them. "That doesn't make me like him any more than what I do now!" She stated angrily.

Lance didn't really pay attention to her as he stroked the top of her head and kept his eyes glued to the TV. "Yeah yeah, I know Heidi."

He loved it. He loved every little thing about the movie from it's quirkiness to its downright god awful writing that made him cringe internally as he watched it. His favorite part was when little asthmatic Keith stumbled into the area where the alien crash landed on Earth. For a low budget movie, the scene was absolutely spectacular. Timmy, Keith's character, had found himself in a clearing with a little pond in the middle. The trees around him had been burned from the crash and the ground had a dip in it from the small crater it had made. Not only that but there were little green orbs in the air setting up a beautiful ambiance full of mystery and child like curiosity as Timmy touched one of the luminescent orbs only for it to bounce away from his little fingers.

Only when the orb bounced away would Timmy realize there was a little alien in the pond. Lance watched as the familiar boy stumbled over to the gross looking alien and touched it causing him to stumble backwards into the ankle deep water out of fright. Keith's purple eyes were so displaced in the scene that lance could barely keep focus. The scene was supposed to be about amazement, curiosity, true joy but those purple eyes that belonged to the black haired boy said nothing but two simple words; why me?

The filming of this movie took place a few months after Keith's adoption, didn't it? Lances heart ached at the thought of this as he watched the movie progress, Keith's expression never changed even when he faked tears for the camera. Nothing felt right to Lance now that he had put two and two together. He realized how big his mistake was of telling Keith, he had reopened old wounds that must have taken years to heal.

He felt like he had done something he could never undo.

Heidi had fallen asleep by the end of the movie with her stuffed bunny close next to her as she snored away but Lance didn't want to do anything now, he wanted to do nothing but apologize to Keith. He wanted that aching feeling inside his chest to disappear even though he knew that it would take much more than just words of forgiveness to be fixed.

He wanted redemption but deep, deep down inside of his subconscious he wanted to connect with Keith.


	39. Coffee (Shiro)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, I have been away for so long and I apologize. Work can become really hectic if I'm not there to manage the employees :(
> 
> I'll be posting three chapters today to make up for it!

Coffee. Every cup was different and crafted by divergent minds. Each had time taken on them but the love put into each cup was different and unique. Some cups were strong and kept people energized and awake for the day while some were incomplete, the flavor never really reaching its potential and being left in the trashcan by someone who couldn't stand its dull taste.

 

Coffee is in a way, us.

 

The strong and bold were held up high on pedestals and worshipped by those who loved them dearly while those who've been left alone in the shadows of the strong, rest incomplete and alone.

 

They were the ones who never truly understood themselves or never quite found a reason to open their eyes to the blinding light of tomorrow. They were the ones who neither knew where they fit in among others nor understood how to find happiness in one's darkness that haunted them.

 

Shiro quietly stepped onto his front porch with the disfigured kitten fast asleep in his jacket, fidgeting now and then as if he were having a bad dream. Shiro's eyes were heavy and his vision was blurry but he could still see the truck parked out in front of his home with that man sitting inside of it. The Hispanic man that always sat there every month had to come back to visit them like clockwork didn't he? Shiro slowly reached out to grab the door handle acting as if nothing were out of the ordinary but in reality the longer he took to go outside, the angrier he got. There was this burning sensation in his chest that only grew more intense with the feeling of those ice cold eyes against his back. He slowly opened the door and quickly stepped inside of the home, locking eyes with the man outside for a second before he slammed the door shut on the world outside.

 

"Oh..." A voice cooed as an old rerun of Bates Motel played on the shoddy little TV in the living room. Shiro's mother was sitting on the couch with this spacy look on her pale face, her eyes blank. "You've returned home?"

 

Shiro frowned at her, the anger inside of him slowly turning into disgust and hatred the longer he stared at what a giant mess she had become over the years. She always ran away from her problems, spending what little money she had on drugs and sometimes inviting strange men into their home to do egregious acts no son should ever be aware his mother was doing. She ran away from the past that haunted her, the past that drove her to shoot up and tipping bottles back until she blacked out to the sounds of her own sobbing.

 

"Are you aware that your dealer is sitting outside?" Shiro asked with a hint of sarcasm as he walked by his mother and over to their bathroom to set the tired kitten down onto the white floor before he closed the door to keep it from seeing the other cat. He leaned his back against the old door and stared at his mother, grey eyes narrowed as he waited for her answer.

 

His mother laughed a little as she shrugged sluggishly, her smile crooked and her red eyes barely open, "Marius just came in not even two minutes ago honey, he was just-"

 

"Just bringing you drugs again?" Shiro asked with a hiss as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at his mother who was not even trying to hide the blunt on the coffee table or the needle which sat near it. He wanted to crush that damned thing beneath the heel of his shoe and just keep doing it until nothing but memories from a dreadful past he wished to be a long nightmare that would end soon.

 

His mother looked down at the floor recognizing the elephant in the room that Shiro was eyeing up and down. She bit her lip for a long moment before she lost her humorous tone from moments before, "You wouldn't understand Takashi, I can't expect you to either..." She whispered as she began to reach out to grab the unused blunt that sat in front of her. 

 

Shiro's body felt like it was on fire as his chest tightened and his stomach twisted into knots. His hand shot out without thought and slapped the greyish-white object away from her skinny fingers. "I don't understand?" He shouted, his hands shaking in a rush of emotions as his mother stared up at him in horror. He threw his hands up and pointed to his chest as tears began to form in his eyes blurring his vision, "I don't understand, are you fucking kidding me right now?"

 

No, he would never understand a wife's pain of knowing her children were molested and raped by her pedophile husband who could have done it to anyone else's child. How could he even dare to think that being stuck in the damned rickety old chair with his father's hand pressed against his mouth to silence his quiet sobbing could ever compare to the crushing feeling in his mother's chest when she watched the man she loved to be carried away by the police kicking and screaming while their children huddled together with looks only zombies could ever have. How could he even possibly compare the feeling of his body being in so much pain he couldn't walk or talk for the next day compare to her selfish drug addiction? 

 

"You're so pathetic," Shiro's voice cracked as he stared down at his mother, no longer able to ignore the problem that had rooted itself into this home over the years and manifested inside of the once wonderful and caring woman he had cared so deeply about. She was nothing more than an empty person being controlled by opioids and assholes down the street, "I'm always so embarrassed to bring my friends over that I avoided making any all together and now that I am finally getting my life back on track and trying to heal I have to sit here and babysit someone who never tried to help her son or daughter from being raped? What are you, dense?"

 

"No," She spoke up, slowly rising from where she sat on the sofa, "I am not dense Takashi, you just can't understand the pain I felt when I realized there was something wrong with your father! Do you not understand the guilt I feel every day for never being able to save you from that fucking monster that lived with us all those years?" Her voice began to heighten in tone as she struggled to not shed a tear in front of her son.

 

Shiro couldn't help but laugh out loud as he showed his mother the most crooked smile in the world, "Guilt? I can't even fathom why I should even begin to understand why you feel guilty, a normal mother would have nipped it in the bud before it had escalated that far so no, I don't understand your guilt because it is something that shouldn't even exist!" 

 

He was about to lose it, all the years of pent up anger from the events of his father to his mother's substance abuse was finally rearing its ugly head and flooding his mind with memories he had tried for so long to bury away with newer memories of forced happiness he made with everyone he had met after his father's arrest. His head swam with the cries of his past, the pain he had felt stabbed at his mind and heart viscously crippling him to his knees where he knelt with his hands pressed against his ears and his eyes squeezed shut.

 

"Takashi," His father's voice echoed through his ears making his entire body shudder as a wave of terror washed over him

 

He violently shook his head and began to shout, "Leave me alone, go away!"

 

He wanted to bang his head against the wall, he wanted to grab that needle a few feet away and inject whatever it was inside of it straight into his heart. He wanted to make the voices of the demon go away, he wanted the memories of all those scaly and rough feeling hands brushing hungrily over his body to fade away into nothing. No, he wanted to fade away into nothing. He didn't want to die, he simply wanted to cease to exist. He wished that there could be a reset button on his parent's lives and make it so that they had never met in that stupid library they used to tell him and his siblings about during one of their dinners in their happier days. He wanted it so that He and his siblings never suffered from the monster who had left Shiro so royally screwed up in the head that he couldn't even have a normal relationship without crying in someone's arms after she touched him the wrong way. He wanted the pain to disappear and never come back.

 

"Takashi!" Shiro's mother had been shouting his name for about a minute now as he rocked on the floor sobbing, staring down at the stained carpet with eyes wide and wild.

 

He didn't even hear her over the sweet nothings his father whispered into his ears as he felt the man's hand slowly close around his neck. He couldn't distinguish between reality and imagination anymore and as he clawed at his neck, begging the invisible monster to not hurt him anymore his mother pulled him into her chest and began to rock him back and forth, running her hands through his hair as she shushed him and began to sing a lullaby she used to use when his episodes first started as a young boy. He had been brought back to a world he had tried so hard on his own to leave behind as he kept his eyes forward and his back straight. 

 

Some demons were there to stay and hold your hand as they guided you to your own personal hell where you would be left alone in the darkness to suffer without anyone there to help save you.

 

He couldn't remember a thing that had happened when he was being held by his mother he just knew that when he woke up from that hellish nightmare he would be thankful that she had built up a tolerance to drugs from the years of abuse so she was still able to think somewhat clearly. During those few minutes, he had been dragged back into a memory against his own will where he had been forced to experience what it had felt like to be molested by his father for the first time. He had been blindfolded and seated in that chair from his childhood drawings where his father had slowly run his hands all of his son in order to feel every single inch of him despite Shiro's struggles against the creep's grip he kept on Shiro's wrist. He remembered as he kicked his little legs out in protest and fear as he felt his father grab onto his body and drag him to the floor. He had his cries muffled by the gag his father had used for that first time, the blindfold had never one saved his innocence though, it only spared him from seeing that man's animalistic look he had in his eyes as he took what he knew he could never get out in the world outside the home shrouded in darkness and grief.

 

The home was what had created the broken object that Ms. Shirogane now held in her arms that she had never been able to piece back together.

 

They were been defeated and forced to live lives where they hid from their problems. Lives full of lies and deception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was old, I'm about ten chapters ahead on this story but I've fallen behind on posting to this website and I apologize for it. The story has changed a bit since this chapter was written but it still fits with the story and it does give a glimpse into Shiro's living situation. If you have any concerns please leave them in the comments! I apologize once again for going quiet on this website but I will TRY to get back into regular posting. I'm not sure which day it will be since I obviously don't follow deadlines but when I find out I will be sure to start posting regularly!
> 
> Have an amazing day and make sure you all have a good lunch that is nutritional and stay hydrated okay? I love each and every one of you so please don't forget that. I may not reply to comments like I used to because my job keeps me busy and leaves me little time to spend talking to y'all but I care about your health and don't forget it!
> 
> -Anri


	40. Cloudy Sky (Lance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance recalls his past and ponders the future of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter where it goes into Lance's past a bit and sheds light on his relationship with his father and the family mechanics they had when he lived with them. I believe I may have called him Alejandro in previous chapters so I need to edit that mistake out, I apologize.

As children, you were always asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. Small, toothy grins would paint faces of various colors as they shouted out the more stereotypical answers; astronaut, president, doctor, vet, perhaps even a millionaire. None of which would include Lance's answer.

 

He had always looked up to a single person in his life even before he started school. He would always run up to him with the world's biggest smile on his tanned face as he held up a crummy looking drawing into the air with his twin at his heels doing the same thing. His answer was always the same up until middle school; as he sat in his tiny desk he would smile so wide that his chubby cheeks made his eyes look squinty. When he was called upon by his kindergarten teacher he would say the same thing every time;

 

"I want to be a stay-at-home father."

 

Kids would laugh at this because they would make snide remarks about it not being a boyish thing to do. Even his teacher would stifle a laugh with her hand showing off her wedding ring to the class. Lance's smile would fade and become replaced with tears that were never shed in front of others because he didn't want to be seen as anything less than a boy.

 

His father was someone he wanted to become no matter what. His father was a judge in court, he would convict the bad guys and send them to jail. He was tall and his hair was always slicked back away from his forehead and his brown eyes were always piercing and could manage to bring out any secret you were hiding. They were the secret weapon he used for his job and even as a father at home. Lance would sit with his father in his room, painting clouds upon his ceiling as they talked about how school went. When Lance told his father about how the other kids at school singled him out for not wanting to do a boy job like being a soldier or an astronaut, José McClain would always tell Lance the same thing.

 

He would cup his chubby cheeks in his hands and give a smile so sweet it made Lance cry in his father's hands; "Why should the other kids tell you what you should or shouldn't be my son? If that's what you want, show them that you can truly be what you want to be just like the little clouds up above your head."

 

Whenever he felt like the other kids were right, when he walked home holding hands with his much quieter twin, he would stare up at the clouds and find a little piece of him within the smaller, less fortunate looking clouds. For the first time, he was able to find himself sitting down below the fluffs of white in the sky with a smile on his face, he felt as if his father were right and that he could go anywhere in the world like that misshaped cloud Lance admired from far below. His father was a man of his word, staying at work to make sure everything was in order before the big trial the next morning only to return home just in time to talk to Lance about his day like he always promised the chubby boy.

 

Sure, the other kids made Lance feel upset when they pointed fingers at him and made fun of him on the playground for being bigger than the rest or acting a bit too feminine than the other boys but he didn't care as long as he was able to please his father. He felt like he always competed against his siblings when it came to getting attention from his father. The only time he was able to spend time with the tall, lanky man was when he was half asleep staring up at the little clouds painted upon his ceiling he and his father did together during the summer. Marcia always managed to snag the black haired man and make him play tea-party with her while Vincent would pridefully shove his college exam score in his father's face and sit back to sip on a beer with the old man. Lance may have looked up to his father but the truth was; he was never actually there for him. The man whose eyes could pry the truth out of everyone but himself would sit back and tell lies to his son who would do anything to appease him.

 

He would always tell Lance that there wasn't a single thing wrong with him while he constantly argued with his wife about how their son was a complete disgrace to the McClain family name. He called him names and absolutely abhorred the small boy who knew nothing of the harsh truth. When Lance came home crying from the bullies at school, his mother was the first to comfort him and tell him everything was going to be okay even when she was pregnant and struggling to handle two young children who constantly needs attention and a college student who struggled to even scrape enough cash together to get a decent meal in his system. Lance never knew of the hardships his mother faced while his father was off at work for he could never hear the two arguing late at night while he slept, however, Vincent and Marcia always knew the unspoken truth in that home;

 

Their father was nothing but a serpent poisoning the family and wreaking havoc on the impressionable mind of his youngest son.

 

This, however, all changed when Lance first stepped foot into the middle school. The harsh truth of reality would hit the boy like a stack of bricks falling upon his chest when the first words he was greeted by were nothing but 'lard boy'. He had always believed he was perfect the way he was, after all, that deceiving smile of his father's would always convince him so. He had been raised upon a lie that eventually he would be able to do anything in the world and do whatever he wanted when he got older but that smile that always assured him this bright future filled with nothing but despair and misfortune.

 

"Ew, why are you so fat?"

 

"I found the first ever beached whale in San Antonio."

 

"What are you going as for Halloween, a burnt Pillsbury Doughboy?"

 

He tried his hardest to ignore them but the insults would only escalate into physical abuse causing those who were disgusted in Lance's appearance to harass him when no teacher was present. He had food dumped into his bag soaking his school work in spaghetti sauce, he would be shoved into a bathroom and get his face stuffed into the toilet, sometimes the bullies would put moldy food into his locker, this list would go on and continue well into high school. He had dealt with it, believing the man he looked up to as his father would be there to make that hole slowly being carved into his heart would be mended by the lies of the devil.

 

Instead, when he had fallen into despair and went home in tears, he tried to confide in the man he had admired only for his whole world to come crashing down around him. As he stood above the shattered glass of the chimera he had built from the words of the man he thought had known all, he watched as his father's lips moved to reveal the true colors that were hidden behind all his charisma and charm.

 

"If it makes you that upset then don't eat so much, you could lose some weight anyway," His father yawned as he quietly flipped through the paper for the day, his brown eyes skimming over the written article about his most recent court case and how the proceeding had gone. He loved to read about himself in order to boost his ego even more.

 

Lance stood in the doorway of the kitchen, his eyes full of disbelief and pain as he stared at his father, "What?" He whispered as Marcia sulked behind him, her face full of sympathy as she tried to avoid being dragged into this conversation.

 

Lance's mother dropped her pan of cookies onto the floor, her face full of horror as she gasped out loud and stared at her husband, "Jose, Don't you dare say that to him!" She exclaimed as she rushed over to her son's side and placed her hands on his cheeks and forced a tender smile on her face, blue eyes watery as she tried to hold back her anger. "You're perfect the way you are, don't listen to those other kids sweetie."

 

He wasn't concerned about what the other kids had to say about his weight right now, his adolescent mind was still trying to wrap itself around the concept of what his father had just said out loud. "You think I'm fat?" He peeked around his mother and locked eyes with the man he had loved so dearly all his life.

 

Jose raised his eyebrows and scoffed slightly as he turned the page in the newspaper, "Lance, I'm not going to sugarcoat life for you anymore, if you don't want to be bullied then conform to society's rules," He sighed deeply almost as if speaking to his son was too much of an effort.

 

Lance's mother bit her lip as she felt Lance push her hands off of his face and go running upstairs. She held back the tears she had been keeping in all those years of knowing the truth about her husband's true nature and now she couldn't hold it in anymore as long as it hurt her children. Lance hid under his covers as he cried, listening to his parents fighting downstairs and feeling nothing but overwhelming guilt for the pain his mother had to have been feeling as she was yelled at by the man she had dedicated her life to.

 

It was his fault, he was the reason his father was telling his mother to face the reality of life. He was the reason why the wedge in his parent's marriage was growing wider and wider with each word being spat out by the adults downstairs. Maybe if he hadn't been born then his mother wouldn't be suffering and perhaps his father would have been able to continue to look at his wife with the same loving eyes he had on their wedding day twenty years ago.

 

Maybe he should disappear.

 

"I've been ignoring the affair you're having with Elaine, but I can't overlook the fact you're hurting our son!" His mother's words filled with so much pain echoed through the house and the hole in Lance's heart only grew wider as he realized that there was more to the home he lived in than what he had originally thought.

 

Secrets lurked in every corner, it was like a conspiracy theory waiting to be solved by the curious minds in the home but it was also something none of the McClain children dared to question or acknowledge. Lance's perspective on the world had taken a complete 180 as he slouched over the toilet with his fingers down his throat for the first time gagging and trying to lose the lunch he had eaten earlier that year. He wanted to become something his father and mother would be proud of. He didn't want to be the one to bring shame to the family anymore, he wanted to prove himself to be worthy of love and admiration just like his father had once been before he showed his true colors. He cried on the floor of his bathroom as his older brother impatiently knocked at the door complaining that Lance was going to make him late for his date with his new girlfriend but it didn't make the pathetic little middle school boy move any faster than the pace he was moving at. 

 

He wanted to be perfect. He wanted to be the perfect son that wouldn't cause discourse in the family.

 

As he began to drop weight, the mood in the McClain household changed from a normal Hispanic family living together in a noisy home into a home where people were now actively avoiding each other and trying to make sure the private lives remained untouched by the poison that tainted their hearts and minds. Lance was brought to many doctors by his mother and she wept and wept when he was diagnosed with the demon who relaxed on his shoulder with a wicked grin as he purged his sins every night before bed. To her, the perfect son she had loved had become a broken boy and it was all her fault. 

 

Lance watched as his father began to grow more and more cold towards him, often regarding him as putrid or even stomach churning, nothing could make that man feel any love towards the son he had spent his life lying to and hating. Lance's mother tried different things to help her son heal even when she got pregnant again and struggled with the weight of having to take care of herself, her family, and even facing the reality of her cheating husband's toxicity. Before he had started high school, Lance watched as his mother handed his father divorce papers and watched as the tall man raised his hand against her causing Vincent to shove the man into a wall putting a hole in it. He remembered Patrick sitting in his playpen, crying and Marcia standing over him in order to protect him if her brother and father got too close all the while Lance rushed over to his mother with shaking hands, hoping and praying to any god looking down upon them that his mother and the little sister she held in her arms was okay. 

 

He watched as the judge the town of San Antonio regarded with so much respect was toted over to a police car for domestic violence and Lance understood at that moment, there was no going back. His father, who had once seated himself upon a throne of lies and false hope had fallen from grace and became a man so hated that Lance forced the thoughts of the black haired man away from his mind. He knew that he had to step up to become the man of the house when Vincent was gone, he was the one now tasked with protecting his mother and siblings from harm even if it meant neglecting his basic needs.

 

He continued to change his body so that he would be accepted by the people around him while he struggled with trying to be the best son he could be, promising himself to never talk down to his mother or treat her with disrespect like Jose McClain had done all those years. He had given up on trying to please his peers by the time he turned sixteen and now only purged for the sake of the feeling he would get from it sometimes; the feeling of consent he would get now and then but only when he was pleased with how he looked in the mirror. He gave up on finding love even as he admired a girl from afar, his eyes sometimes drifting over to a boy subconsciously. When he had finally gone to the support group meeting he had grown to hate himself, purging had no longer helped him feel happy but now it made him regard himself with remorse like his father had done before. He wanted to end it all at times when the bullying became too much for someone like him to handle but when he felt the love of Keith's warm embrace cover him, something had sparked a change inside of him. If asked, he would have described the feeling of crying into Keith's shoulder for the first time to be something he had never felt before but it would be a lie. He had felt it before but he was never aware of it.

 

He had never been aware of the biggest secret his mind had been hiding from him all those years of living through a dysfunctional family and bullying. He had never thought about questioning who he really was until he had felt the touch of Keith's lips against his. It had felt so good that Lance needed and wanted more, he wanted it to keep going on until he could no longer breathe. He craved the feeling of those soft hands sliding along his body that had been abused for so many years, he loved the feeling of someone not being afraid of the secrets that laid beneath his shirt. He found himself only picturing the black haired boy as he pressed his lips against Nyma's late at night, he couldn't see her anymore now but only the boy who had awakened this new fire inside of him.

 

He didn't understand the meaning of it all when he laid in bed in a hot mess with only the memory of Keith's name on his lips but he knew it meant more than just what appeared on the surface of his mind. It took Nyma cheating on him to realize what it was; he was into the mullet-headed idiot he had spent his time trying to find flaws in when he could only imagine the perfections in the boy.

 

He had become afraid of accepting the reality of it all because he had been hurt once before by someone he thought he had admired so greatly. He didn't wish to see Keith, the boy who had unlocked this new world and helped Lance take the first step to recovery, fall from grace. He regretted telling Keith of his father's whereabouts and he wanted nothing more than told hold the crying boy but he had made a mess out of his life and there was nothing more that he could do to fix it; he had to give Keith time to heal.

 

While Keith healed his wounds over the course of the next three days, Lance had come to peace with the things that had consumed his mind and forced him to change. He realized that his bulimia and sexuality was part of him. They were things he could only grow into and learn to cope with over time. He knew his sexuality could never be changed now that he had been exposed to the thought that had been locked away by this false truth that to be a man you had to like girls not both girls and guys but his bulimia was something he could change but could never truly go away. The effects would permanently be etched into his mind and the years of purging would show in his appearance but he could manage to hold down food and still try to be happy with himself. He was now four days sober and four days freed from the demon that had been lurking over his shoulder all those years.

 

Its smile had faded from its face and the shadow had shrunk into nothing more than a frightened child who now had nowhere to go. Lance had accepted the child by bringing it close to his chest with a heartfelt hug as he whispered the words he needed to hear from others when he was growing up; "I accept you."

 

As he stood in his room, a paintbrush in his right hand and a gentle smile upon his face, his blue eyes looked alive for the first time in his life as he stared at the white ceiling above him that had once been covered in clouds.

 

"It's time to grow up, isn't it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this? I hope you enjoy the rest of your day :)
> 
> -Anri


	41. White Roses (Keith)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith learns new details of his parents and visits someone important to him.

It was weird to be sitting there on the grass, his legs crossed as he fiddled with his old childhood stuffed animal he held in his hands as the wind blew through his white hair. Keith had been discharged from the hospital three days earlier with the hope of remaining cancer free for the rest of his life but before he had left the hospital, he had been drawn to the custodian who lurked around the trashcans with his head hung low and his exhausted eyes glued to the tiled floor. He couldn't quite wrap his head around the reason he had been drawn to his father but even so, he was glad that his body led him to the man who nearly began to cry as he wrapped his arms around Keith gently and told him he was sorry. They sat together in the cafeteria, Keith's cane that aided him in walking leaned up against the table while they spoke about the good old days. Finally, Keith had been given the opportunity of being given the closure he needed all his life.

 

During his birth, his mother Krolia, had died from a terminal illness she had been suffering from during the birthing process leaving Keith and his father all alone in the cruel world that had stripped his father of the wife he had loved since middle school. HE had vowed from the moment he cradled Keith in his arms for the first time that he wouldn't ever allow Keith to blame himself for his mother's death so he simply made up a fake story that could protect the child from ever thinking that he was the reason for his mother's passing. He had told his bright-eyed son who resembled his wife so much that she had left them wanting to go on an adventure through the world and experience new things that she could never see in America. He struggled day and night to provide for the two of them, working multiple jobs whilst trying to balance the needs of his son on top of it all. It took a toll on him for he neglected his own needs and never properly grieved for his late wife so he eventually turned to gambling as a way to cope with it all. The love he felt in his heart for his son was indescribable but even love couldn't mend wounds that could only be healed through self-care and appreciation. 

 

He fell into debt and hid it from Keith as he tried to pay bills he couldn't afford until it was too much for him to handle all alone. He was eventually arrested for tax evasion and the wound that had resided deep inside his heart had been ripped open even more when he had lost the last thing that connected him with his wife; his son.

 

Keith had listened quietly to his father as the man was reduced to tears of guilt and regret. He watched him, purple eyes full of sympathy as he hesitantly reached out to hold his birth father's hand. He had always believed that everything was his fault; his mother not being there for them and his father abandoning him. He had shut himself out from the world when brought into a new family, afraid to get too close to them and lose people he loved all over again. He didn't want to experience that pain all over again, it was something he would never dare wish upon his greatest enemy. Now, after watching the old man he used to call father, he sat in front of a stone with carvings worn down by the weather, a faint smile residing on his face as he placed the little stuffed animal down onto the grass at the base of the stone. 

 

He slowly reached up to drag his fingers against the marks, his eyes soft and saddened. "Hello, mom."

 

His voice was distressed and his lips trembled as he slowly traced out Krolia's name with his skinny fingers surrounded by tombstones and the quiet murmuring of the wind blowing by, whispering sweet nothings in his ears. "It's been a few years, hasn't it?" He continued, dropping his hand into his lap allowing his smile to falter ever so slightly. "I can't believe I spent all my life hating you and dad when I knew nothing about either of you. I'm sorry for it, all the hateful things I said to you or even thought in my stupid kid head. If I could, I would go back in time and tell myself the truth so I wouldn't go through life fueled by hate with no ground reason behind it."

 

He could only believe that the reason why he spoke to his father was to give the man a proper goodbye just like what he was doing with his mother now. He slowly brought his hand up to his face to hide his tears as he forced a small laugh, "God, I was such a dumbass wasn't I?" He asked aloud and then dropped his hand once more and turned his head to the sky to allow himself to cry, "Why couldn't you have stayed with me just a little longer? I know I'm being selfish but, I wish I could have met you, y'know, have a real conversation with you about stupid things a mother would have lectured about."

 

He wanted to have his mother yell at him when he was a kid throwing a tantrum in the middle of the store over not getting the toy he wanted. He wanted to show his mom off with a giant, toothy grin to his class for mother's day when all the other student's had brought in their mothers for a school held breakfast. He wanted to hear her stern words when he broke something and feel her warm touch against his cheeks when he was crying over a scraped knee. He had lost so much of his childhood due to her death and he wanted to experience it somehow but he knew it was only a fleeting hope that unraveled like a ball of yarn; disappearing slowly into the great unknown.

 

He sighed as he wiped the sleeve of his black sweatshirt against his face before he began to struggle to his feet using the cane he had been given as support so he wouldn't pop a stitch. "I became a model, I do pretty lame stuff but I bet you would be proud no matter what, right?" He asked as he placed his palm on the top of the headstone and smiled gently, his face no longer showing pain.

 

"Hey, kid," Jensen's voice sounded in the distance causing Keith to look over his shoulder to see the man smoking as he leaned up against his black car, his head hung low as he pointed his thumb at the backseat. "You coming, the meeting is in twenty minutes."

 

Keith sighed deeply, reluctantly pulling his hand away from his mother's grave as he began to turn away. "You may have been the one to say hello first, but this time I'll be the one to say goodbye."

 

He gave the grave one last look, his eyes lingering on the raggedy looking stuffed animal that seemed to almost stare up at him as he hobbled away. He had help getting into the car but Jensen never spoke another word once they were on the road. He was giving Keith time to grieve for the lost time from his childhood he had been denied. Maybe he really was trying to say his final goodbyes. The church looked different. It seemed to be something pulled straight from a children's picture book for it seemed so beautiful to Keith for the first time that he could ever remember. He grabbed Jensen's hand as he struggled to get out of the car with his white hair being ruffled by the harsh wind that seemed to rip by him suddenly. He never remembered the painting of Jesus looking so okayish before either. He was taken back by the sudden shift in perspective he was experiencing but he didn't have any complaints either; the pessimism that had been keeping him back from experiencing real joy had finally been ripped from him like a bloodsucking leech that had fed off of his happiness.

 

The room was silent as he pushed the double doors open to reveal the group sitting in their circle with different looks on their faces. Allura looked as if she had been through hell and rightfully so. Her short white hair had been pulled back into a ponytail and she wore baggy clothes that could have only belonged to her uncle. Her ebony skin looks paler than usual and she had brought her chair in close to Shiro where she quietly held his hand while her dull eyes were glued to the floor. Shiro seemed to have this look of displacement as he stared off into the distance, bags under his eyes revealing how little sleep he had been allowed for the last three days. Pidge sat across the circle with his hair carrying a white streak in the sandy-brown mess. He looked content with where he sat wearing shorts and a sweater, Hunk sat where Allura would have normally been seated with a new look on his face. He neither looked anxious today nor did he fiddle around with his clothing or fingers as he glanced around the circle with a faint smile. 

 

Keith's heart seemed to skip a beat as his eyes rested on Lance who now too had a little white streak going through his brown hair. He looked as if his skin was glowing today, he seemed to have changed in a whole new way that Keith couldn't quite describe. The boy looked healthier and more mature now. Keith slowly seated himself between Pidge and Lance and he gave the Cuban boy a giant smile that Lance clearly did not expect. Oliva sat with her clipboard held tightly against her chest, a smile plastered across her face as her eyes surveyed the group.

 

"It's so nice to see all of you again," She began, her voice softer than usual as she allowed her eyes to linger on each one of them. "Shall we begin then?”


	42. Toast to New Beginnings (Lance)

How do you repent past sins you could never control?

 

Sin, by definition, was an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law. It was often described as acts that went against the common logic of what was right or wrong. To many, cheating, lying, and even stealing was considered to be a sin and you were always expected to confide in your pastor or to god in order to repent those misdeeds against humanity. However, by birth, you were brought into a world of sin, infected with the poison of deceit and lies that infected the air. With your very first breath, you were expected to make poor decisions as you tried to go through life. To many, sinning was bad and should earn you a place next to the devil himself but to the minority, sinning mad you human. You're expected to remain innocent, your hands never being tainted with the malevolence of the world or even the tears of the people around you and yet, there wasn't a single person capable of avoiding these acts against God. 

 

To sin was what made you human. To sin showed that you had an active consciousness that allowed you to distinguish between right and wrong. To sin meant you had the constant battle of light and darkness inside of you that you had to keep balanced out. You were never meant to be pure, you were meant to have your hands blackened with your immoral deeds and the tears from when you felt guilty. Guilt was how you repent your sins and sins were proof that you were living for yourself, not others. 

 

To sin, for the lack of a better term, was good. To repent was to wipe the slate of immorality clean in an attempt to be nothing more than another cattle in the herd that followed a linear path all their life.

 

Lance sat in the circle with his friends, Keith to his right and Shiro to his left. He was quietly fiddling with his fingers, his heart racing as he tried to not look over at Keith despite how tempting it was. His smile that he had shown Lance as he willingly sat beside him was something he had never said before. It was luminous, so beautiful that he was worried that it was hiding something painful behind it. He had never seen Keith, the Keith Kogane AKA angry teen boy who wanted nothing more than to rip the heads off of his enemy's shoulders, give such a sincere smile before. The way his purple eyes seemed to light up as he focused on Lance and how he gave a small little hum as he seated himself, the little details Lance had never seen before only made the feelings inside of him grow a bit more. 

 

He slowly reached up and pinched the fabric of his Space Rangers shirt. He had pulled it away from the skin of his chest in order to fluff it out to get some air on his overheating face. His heart had been racing the moment he had laid eyes on the mullet-headed boy and now he was struggling to not die from a heatstroke during the meeting. 

 

Olivia, their counselor of sorts, lowered her clipboard onto her lap and took a deep breath to show her serious face for the very first time since these meeting had begun. "I understand that a lot has been happening to each and every one of you these last two weeks but today we are here to lend one another a hand of support and tell the other that it is okay to have the feelings you have. You should not be ashamed of what you share here for we all have issues of our own," The redhead said sympathetically as she looked at each of the teens individually.

 

Pidge looked up, his eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest suspiciously, "You say that as if you actually understand what any of us go through, I can't help but doubt it." 

 

Lance felt pity towards Olivia but he couldn't help but find himself agreeing with the little sandy-haired freshman. They knew nothing of the woman who was supposed to be here to help them, to them, she was an enigma. Olivia gave a wry smile as she carefully rubbed one of her hands against her arms, "Actually, every counselor in this program has been through similar situations. Each one of us has come from the program so I was just like you all at one point; a troubled teen who believed no one would understand her pain."

 

Allura looked up at her, her blue eyes showing a hint of life as she sat up slightly, "Really?" She asked quietly.

 

Olivia had all of their attention now, even Keith's. The redhead nodded solemnly before she frowned, "When I was younger I lived with my aunt because my parents had a drug problem but she was abusive. She would uh-" Her voice cracked slightly and she winced in response. Lance's heart dropped in his chest as she continued, "She would slam my head against the wall when she got really angry and would sometimes even put her cigarettes out on my back as a punishment for not doing something the proper way. When I couldn't handle any more of her abuse I tried to kill myself but luckily my friends knew about it and called 911. I was put into a foster home and into this program where I met people suffering from the same issues as you all."

 

"What were their names, if you wouldn't mind us asking... and what happened to them?" Hunk asked suddenly, his eyes full of curiosity as he sat on the edge of his seat.

 

Olivia smiled at this as she looked up from her clipboard. "Their names were Jasper, Serena, Dakota, and Weiss. They all had different issues; Serena lived with a mother with schizophrenia and she was suffering from depression due to it, Weiss had Huntington's and he was always afraid of how it was going to harm the people he loved so he suffered from suicidal tendencies, Jasper had a binge eating disorder, and Dakota had an abusive mother. We were dysfunctional just like you all and our counselor decided to introduce the same buddy system I used for you all and we ended up becoming like a small family that could trust one another no matter what. Serena and I became counselors while Jasper married and moved away, Weiss created a plan for his family for when his disease took over his life, and Dakota became a college professor in Arizona."

 

Keith looked over at Olivia and gave her a small smile, "I want to start us off then," He looked around the circle slowly, "I mean, she did just tell us private information she didn't have to say. I want to be close with all of you and opening up is the only way to do so, right?"

 

"Please, go ahead," Olivia smiled gratefully at Keith as she reached up to make sure her watery eyes hadn't shed a tear.

 

Keith locked eyes with Lance for a moment before his cheeks turned a light shade of pink causing the both of them to look away abruptly. He reached up and scratched the corner of his mouth awkwardly, "Well, if you couldn't tell, I'm adopted," He started, eyes full of pain as he tried to talk about his issues. "My mother died giving birth to me so I never got a chance to meet her but I grew up with my father until I was eight, then he got arrested and I was left to the foster system believing my mother had left my father and me when I was born and that my father as a no-good hillbilly," He took in a shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut.

 

"When I was adopted I had already become a broken kid; I didn't trust anyone, I wanted nothing to do with other people, and I wanted to hide from the feelings of guilt and neglect I felt. My adoptive mother forced me into the spotlight the moment she got her money hungry hands on me and I was forced to smile through all the anger and hatred I felt towards the world. I lashed out at everyone except my little sister who I could never hate because she reminded me too much of how I was when I was her age. When I got cancer I-" His voice suddenly stopped and he opened his eyes to show tears threatening to down his cheeks. Lance's heart felt as if it were being stabbed over and over again as he resisted the urge to reach over and pull the boy into his arms to comfort him. "I wanted to scream at the world for taking away my life. I wanted to strangle God and tell him to give me back the childhood I was refused at birth. When I thought I was cancer free I began to rebel even more, blaming the world for problems I didn't even understand but then when it came back, I felt like this time I was really going to die."

 

"When you beat cancer for the first time you think 'That's it, I've passed the trials of life, there isn't anything I can't beat!'. You really believe you're safe from the cruel world outside of your little bubble but the moment you get the news that it's back you just feel like this pit has opened up below you and you're walking on this little line that's barely visible because you feel truly powerless. You feel that the disease rules over your life and that when you believe that you're on the right path, here comes cancer ready to bust through the walls you've put up like the fucking kool-aid man."

 

Pidge laughed slightly as he tried to keep it together, "Cancer is the giant red Kool-aid man now? Wow Keith, did they put you on painkillers or something?"

 

Keith glared at his little friend and growled, "I couldn't think of anything else you runt!"

 

Lance grimaced in annoyance as the two began to bicker in front of everyone. Sure, Keith was stepping out of his comfort zone by talking about himself but he was the same old irritable kid he was before.

 

Olivia stifled a laugh with her hand and shook her head slightly, "Please, continue."

 

Keith crossed his arms over his chest and frowned with a little pout visible on his face, "Thanks to this group, I've finally gotten the closure I had been searching for all my life. I found my biological parents and said my goodbyes. I'm freed from the problems that held me back from opening myself up to others again thanks to some of the people here."

 

Lance's face felt as if it were on fire as he noticed Keith giving him a side glance, the pale boy's cheeks redder than a strawberry as he tried to not make it obvious he was looking at the tanned boy next to him. Lance was happy. He was happy because Keith wasn't mad at him anymore but he was also elated simply because he had done something right for once. He felt his lips fighting the urge to form as he kept his eyes locked on his lap. He was glad he helped Keith indirectly. It was Keith's choice to speak to his father but thanks to Pidge, Lance was able to tell Keith about the existence of the old man and indirectly give Keith a push towards the light he was always searching for during his times of despair. 

 

Lance reached up and plucked his shirt from his chest. His heart was beating a mile a second and he didn't know whether or not he wanted it to stop. The feeling inside of him was indescribable as it thumped away in his chest. His palms were sweaty, his face felt as if it had burning coals on it, and his lips trembled as he resisted the urge to smile. Was this how it felt to like another person?

 

Slowly, he let the material pinched between his fingers go as he shyly rose his hand into the air. "I-I would l-like to go next!" He stated with a shaky voice and a bright red face, his blue eyes wide and full of fright.

 

If Keith could do it, so could he.

 

Pidge peeked around Keith and flashed Lance a thumbs up with a devilish grin while Hunk gave him a very encouraging smile as if to tell the tanned boy that he was going to be accepted no matter what he said to the group. Shiro and Allura gave him quiet yet prideful looks like a parent would give to their kids at a school play but Lance didn't even have to look at Keith to understand that he was encouraging Lance just like the rest. A piece of Lance still felt god awful for everything he had done to Keith and the pain he had caused him by telling him about his birth parents but it didn't seem to bother the smiling boy anymore. Lance would just have to make up for it later.

 

Lance lowered his hand to his lap and gave the group a nod of appreciation. "I know most of you have this weird, distorted image of how my family life must be or even why I've done the things I have but they're wrong," He began nervously. "My family isn't as happy as we could be, my brother struggles with trying to keep himself on his feet while being happy for his son and my mother deals with this regret we can all see but she tries to act like it isn't there. In a way, we're dysfunctional despite our outward appearances. My father is the root cause of it all, he was the one who filled our minds with lies and committed adultery while he told me that the world would accept me no matter what I looked like but we can all agree middle school kids would beg to differ."

 

"They're demons," Hunk shivered as he rubbed his arms as if he were having flashbacks to his prepubescent days.

 

Lance laughed a bit as he nodded in agreement, "That they were. When I came home from the second week of middle school in tears, I tried to look at my father for emotional support but he turned to me with these cold eyes and told me that the students hated me because I was a pig. I cried all night as I listened to my parents fight, my father admitted he was screwing his assistant, and that night on I blamed myself for everything that went wrong inside of our little jolly ol' home because I began to throw up after every meal in hopes of getting skinnier to appease my father. I harmed myself for the acceptance of others but I was shut out by the people I wanted to please and I became what you see here today, a sad little Cuban kid who is trying to get his life back together."

 

"Have you been eating well?" Olivia asked, her eyes soft and full of sympathy.

 

Lance smiled slightly and raised three fingers into the air pridefully, "Three days strong."

 

The group slowly began to clap, some of them congratulating Lance on his achievements. Lance finally felt it. He felt that little warm tingle in his fingertips and stomach. The feeling of self-worth. He felt appreciated by himself and the people who started this program with him. 

 

"Me!" Pidge scooted to the edge of his seat and began to wave his hand in the air in excitement. "I want to go next if we're all sharing about ourselves without judgement, though, everyone knows my situation by now..." He pouted slightly as he calmed down a bit, voice trailing off.

 

Olivia gave him a little smile as she looked around the group, "Well, if everyone already knows your situation, why don't you explain the significance of the white in everyone's hair." 

 

Lance hadn't noticed it before but Hunk really did have a white streak just like the rest of them. They were officially a friend group now.

 

Pidge gave Allura a look asking for permission to explain the situation and when she nodded in agreement, Pidge took in a deep breath and started the story. "Well it really started with Allura and Shiro, they dyed their hair to mark a change in their life and we all decided to join them in order to become-"

 

"Beautiful disasters," Keith interrupted suddenly, his purple eyes gleaming with pride. "It was everyone's mark we used to show we are trying to heal from the wounds of our past."

 

"Dick," Pidge mumbled quietly.

 

Olivia look around and nodded understandingly, then she motioned to the old little bracelet she had on her wrist, "This was my group's little mark, it has the first initial of everyone's names on it."

 

Hunk leaned over to get a better look at the bracelet even reaching out to move it around. Then, he looked back up at the counselor and gave a weak smile, "How about you dye a piece of your hair too? We are your first support group right?"

 

"Yeah," Shiro finally piped up, his voice hoarse. "We should be a memorable group, we were dysfunctional and still kind of are, we had to have made a mark on you."

 

"Oh," Olivia's face darkened as she glared at Keith and Lance, "Some of you have definitely left a mark on my life, however, I can't dye my hair. Job rules."

 

Lance gave a chagrined look as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. He remembered how he and Keith had been at one another's throats at the start of this support group. Actually, everyone seemed to have beef with one another. Allura and Katie were always after one another and Keith was just lashing out at anything that breathed while Shiro and Hunk tried to remain neutral among all the chaos.

 

"Well," Pidge sighed and looked over at Hunk, "How about you go next."

 

Hunk's face lit up bright red as everyone's gaze shifted over to him. He looked panicked but once Pidge gave him a thumbs up and one of his devilish little smirks, Hunk relaxed slightly and picked at his clothes anxiously. "Well," He began, "I don't have any backstory as to why I'm the way I am... sadly, it's something I never had a choice in-" His eyes widened in realization. He threw his hands up into the air and glanced around the group with this horrified expression on his face. "I'm not saying any of you chose to have your conditions or anything!"

 

Lance laughed a little bit and waved his hand in the air nonchalantly as he noticed Allura faintly smiling as the anxious boy, "Honest mistake big guy, just keep going."

 

Hunk let out a sigh of relief as he slumped his shoulders, "I got made fun of a lot because I was always too petrified to really do anything at school. Even speaking to teachers was enough to make me panic and nearly throw up at the thought of ever having to interact with another person. I got so afraid of what everyone would think of me that I wouldn't be able to sleep sometimes when I worked on a school project trying to make it look the best I could.

 

"Over the years it has sort of died down a bit but presenting with everyone's eyes on me... it really frightened me so my parents thought that by enrolling me here, I could work on the issues that hold me back from a successful career," Hunk sighed as if he had finally gotten a weight off of his chest.

 

Lance jumped slightly when he heard Shiro beginning to chuckle in amusement next to him. Everyone looked at the baseball player with frowns, unsure of what was going through his head to think that it was appropriate to even laugh at what Hunk had said.

 

Shiro covered his smile with his hand and tried to stop laughing as he looked over at Hunk, his grey eyes full of warmth. "That's what you're afraid of?" He asked.

 

Hunk raised his eyebrows before he lowered his head in shame, "Y-Yeah, I knew it was dumb..." He mumbled quietly to himself.

 

Lance was ready to roll up his sleeves and let Shiro have it until he heard what the teen had to say, "I think it's perfectly fine," Shiro stated. "I mean, we're all afraid of something but I would think a perfectionist like you was just afraid of making mistakes. I'm glad to see you're just like us, afraid of the judgment of others."

 

"Well," Keith mused, "I guess I have to agree."

 

Hunk smiled weakly at everyone, "Sorry for not living up to your expectations..."

 

Lance rolled his eyes jokingly and waved his hand in the air to dismiss the comment Hunk said, "We prefer you to be like us bud, it means you're kinda just as screwed up as us."

 

Allura slowly raised her hand into the air while she kept one with her fingers laced into Shiro's. "May I?" She looked at Olivia.

 

Olivia nodded her head and gently set the clipboard on the floor no longer taking notes. Allura gulped as she repositioned herself and pulled at her sweatpants. "Well, if you had been at my side these last few days you would know I was hospitalized after being..." Her voice faltered for a second as her face darkened. Lance hadn't seen someone look so pained before. She bit her lips as her brows furrowed together almost joining as one and her eyes were watering, glistening just like a puddle of water in light. "I was raped by a teacher from my school. He passed away yesterday morning after being comatose from when I fought back. I know that the situation wasn't my fault but I somehow feel like I was being punished for surviving the car crash that claimed my mother and father when I was just a child. I feel so much guilt within my heart when I think about that day and I can't help but think that surely, what that man did to me was a message from god telling me that I deserve to know my place in his world."

 

"But you didn't deserve it," Hunk said quietly, his eyes full of worry.

 

Lances heart felt as if it had sunk to the pits of an abyss. It felt heavier than a stack of bricks and he wanted to tell Allura something reassuring but the words just wouldn't come to him. He felt like he was failing at being a friend if he didn't manage to tell her something even slightly encouraging.

 

Keith stared at her with a face devoid of emotion, "You did come to a realization that your thoughts weren't true, didn't you? You wouldn't be here if you hadn't thought so," He spoke calmly. 

 

Lance didn't understand the words Keith spoke but when he looked back over to Allura he saw that they had reached her. Her cheeks we're now being stained with tears as she lifted her head up to give the group a heartbreaking smile. "Yes," Her voice cracked. "I realized it wasn't true because my father pulled me from the wreckage and saved my life. He saved me because he wanted me to keep waking up to the light of a new tomorrow. I couldn't throw that sacrifice away or his death would have been in vain... I just... I could never throw away something so precious."

 

She began to sob, her nose running slightly as Shiro pulled her into his chest. Lance's mouth opened slightly as he tried to say something but Keith reached over and touched Lance's dark hand with his pale fingertips lightly before he shook his head quietly. Lance stared at the boy for a long moment as the sobbing gradually came to a stop. Keith seemed to be showing some sort of empathy but it was in a way Lance just couldn't seem to wrap his head around. At the time, he wanted to comfort his crying friend but in the future he would come to understand that sometimes crying was the only way to heal and that words couldn't always fix old wounds.

 

Shiro gently pushed Allura's hair away from her face and wiped away her stray tears as she tried to get her breathing back to normal. "When I was a child," Shiro began as he continued to wipe away at his girlfriend's face with care, "my father molested and raped my sister and I. My mother never did a thing about it because she lived in denial and she still does to this day but she hides it with alcoholism and a drug addiction she won't try to fix."

 

The stories had begun so normal; a kid who had cancer and was an orphan, a bulimic guy whose father was the definition of pendejo, a trans boy who suffered from gender dysphoria, and an anxious young man who was afraid of making others displeased. They were nothing compared to Allura and Shiro. They were the two who had suffered the most from the entire group. Their scars were long lasting, ones that couldn't go away with simple prescriptions or self-care. They were totally and royally screwed up.

 

"When I spoke out about my father's wrongdoings, he gave me the ugly little scar on my face as a punishment but before he could do anything else the police came and took him away from my home. It turned out my sister had gotten to the point she couldn't hold it in anymore and she called the cops on our father. For the longest time I believed I was incapable of loving another person or that if I did, I wouldn't have a healthy relationship. When I came here, I began to realize that if you all were able to have social lives then I shouldn't be so afraid of all the 'what-ifs' and that I should try for something I wouldn't have tried for before I came here."

 

Olivia smiled quietly as she slowly clapped her hands together. Her face was different than all the other times; she wasn't showing pity, sympathy, or even warmth. Her expression was indescribable as she leaned over and grabbed her clipboard, "You've finally gotten through step one; admitting you all have problems."

 

"What the hell do you mean by step one?" Keith grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

 

Olivia rolled her eyes at the annoyed boy as she flashed Shiro a smile. "This program is actually a three step program," she raised her index finger into the air, "step one was admitting you had a problem. Step two is recovery. And three is graduation."

 

"Didn't we already admit we had a problem during the first meeting?" Pidge asked in confusion.

 

Olivia shook her head, "You simply stated what you had or suffered from, you didn't accept those problems as something that was a piece of you until today," She hummed. "To admit you have a problem you must first realize why it exists and why you do what you do. By just saying you have bulimia or anxiety, you're not facing the truth behind it and you're trying to hide those dark truths behind the mask you wear to the world."

 

"Don't get all philosophical on us," Keith growled, "Some of us can't follow your stupid words."

 

Lance smirked smugly, "Some of us being you?" He cooed.

 

Keith reached over and slammed his cane onto Lance's knee making the boy shriek in pain and double over, hold his hands to the throbbing joint. 

 

Olivia sighed in disappointment. "This is the end of the meeting in other words, you've all put yourself out there for one another today and I don't want to stress you all out anymore than what you are. Take the rest of the day off from this scary stuff," She smiled and slowly lifted up her purse from the floor and began walking away. She looked over her shoulder once she reached the door and winked, "See you again next time, go have some fun together."

 

The doors creaked open as she stepped through them leaving the six alone together in the room. 

 

It was silent for a moment until pidge slowly stretched his arms above his head and yawned, "how about we all go out for coffee?" He asked.

 

Allura sniffled, her smile finally returning as she nodded, "I would love that... Shiro?" She looked over at her boyfriend with blue eyes full of curiosity.

 

Shiro nodded and stood up to hold his hand out to her, "Let's join him. Hunk?" He sent a glance over his shoulder at the big guy.

 

Hunk nodded enthusiastically, "Only if we go to Shay's café!"

 

Lance smiled a little bit through the pain in his leg as everyone began to leave the room except for Keith who hadn't moved a single inch, his face dark and full of mixed emotions. As Lance stood up to join everyone, Keith reached out and grabbed onto his wrist roughly causing him to wince.

 

Lance frowned in annoyance as he tried to tug his hand free, "The hell do you want? You just slammed that damn stick into my knee."

 

Keith lowered his head shamefully as he placed the bottom of his walking cane on the floor and tightened his grip on Lance's hand, "I need help standing up. I didn't want to ask in front of everyone, it's embarrassing."

 

Lance realized that for the first time since their fight back in the hospital, he was alone with Keith. It was just the two of them, both vulnerable and open for the other to finish the old argument if they wanted. 

 

Lance nodded awkwardly as he shuffled around to stand in front of Keith, moving his hand the boy held onto so that their hands were in one another's, "R-Right. Sorry," he stuttered. His heart was at it again, it was beating a mile a minute and he was praying to the heavens that Keith wouldn't notice how sweaty his palms were.

 

He managed to help the shorter boy to his feet as Keith used the cane to support himself. He had a little slouch, clearly unable to stand completely straight just yet. They stood there, one sweaty hand in the other as they stared at the other person. Lance's blue eyes were wide as he gazed down at Keith. Keith's face was full of gratitude and guilt, his purple eyes were looking directly into Lance's which made his heart beat at an ungodly pace.

 

"Lance," Keith's voice came out in that stupid little crack it always did when he was upset or nervous.

 

Lance raised his thin eyebrow, "Yeah?" He asked

 

Keith's gaze dropped from his and landed on Lance's chest. He had a distant look on his face as he took in a small breath to continue what he had begun, "Vivian told me to show you how I feel through my actions but I can't think of anything besides one thing to do to show you how sorry I and for being such a dick to you in the hospital..."

 

Lance was surprised by what Keith had to say. Keith was the one who was apologizing? What type of prank was this? Lance was the one who should be apologizing to Keith not the other way around! "H-Hey I should be the one to-" Lance began, a nervous laugh escaped his lips.

 

Keith shook his head, "No you were just being a good friend like you're supposed to be," He said firmly. "Are you still with Nyma?"

 

Lance looked down at the floor and pursed his lips slightly, "No, that's a mistake I'd like to forget about," he admitted.

 

"Then, this is my apology," Keith said.

 

He craned his head up and locked his lips with Lance's without a single warning. Lance felt as if his face were about to melt off from his skull as his eyes widened to look like two of the Great Lakes of America and he let out this weird yet horrifyingly high pitched squeak of surprise and excitement as he felt Keith's soft lips up against his. He was feeling so many things at once; elation, excitement, this really weird tense feeling within his stomach, and the beating of his heart in his chest that honestly had him concerned that it would explode at any second if Keith continued to keep this kiss going on any longer than what it already was.

 

Then, just when Lance wasn't sure he could handle it anymore, Keith pulled away were his eyes half opened with an expression of satisfaction on his face that sent Lance's stomach into a game of twister. "Your prom is this weekend right? I want to go with you!" Keith's eyes widened as he stepped in closer to Lance. 

 

It was as if the kiss was completely normal to him while the only thing going through Lance's head was this internal screaming. He barely managed a little nod as he reached his free hand up to press his fingertips up against his lips lightly.

 

"Good, my stitches should be well enough for me to move around like normal again, I'm a fast healer," Keith said with a shy smile on his face as his cheeks turned red. "I'm not going to say this all sugar coated, you've had enough sugar coating from your father and we know how that turned out. I want to go with you because you broke the walls I managed to put up and keep others from getting by and I want to be there to show you that you're needed every moment I can. I don't want you to keep harming yourself through your bulimia so I'm willing to help you work through it but you need to know, when you fall back down and start doing it again, I won't be happy but I won't leave your side. I'll be there no matter what happens and I will try to help you recover to the best of my ability because you're someone I'm not willing to lose."

 

Lance was at total loss for words. How could someone reply to this? Was this a confession or a simple declaration of friendship? Where did the two of them stand anymore? Lance definitely had feelings for Keith and the kiss cleared up any doubts he had nagging at him but he didn't know whether or not the feelings were mutual.

 

He blinked slowly and glanced around awkwardly to make sure no one else was in there with them, "Is this a uh- is it a confession?" He asked.

 

Keith's face grew redder than a cherry as he lowered his head in embarrassment, "Not if the feeling isn't mutual. I will still be there for you even if you don't like me back but I really would feel so fucking embarrassed if you said no especially after I-"

 

"Yes," Lance stated fondly, his insides having a rave in his body as he tried to not shake from excitement, "I accept the confession and the prom date."

 

Keith looked up at Lance in shock, "Wait what?"

 

"I uh-" Lance laughed nervously and looked away from Keith, "sort of like you too."

 

"Wait, sort of? But I really fucking like you, don't you really like me too or is it really just a little?"

 

"No, I really fucking like you too. I was just kind of afraid to admit it until you did."

 

"Shit," Keith breathed, his eyes wide. "We really like each other, what does this mean? Are we dating? Are we a couple? Oh my god what are we going to do?"

 

"Uh, we can be a couple but only if you want to be a couple?" Lance said slowly, not wanting to ruin what was happening between the two of them.

 

Keith's lips slowly turn upward into a smile as he nodded, "I would like that. So you're my boyfriend now?"

 

"And you're my... Boyfriend too."

 

"Virgin bros, more like virgin bros with benefits."

 

Lance laughed as he nodded along to Keith's stupid joke, "Yeah I guess. Let's go to the café then?"

 

Keith nodded quietly as he entwined his fingers with Lance's, "Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith are the only two characters that will have a sexual relationship in this story meaning Allure/Shiro and Hunk/Shay won't be having any moments that can be considered 'smut'. The scenes between Lance and Keith won't be in details for the few readers who would rather enjoy a story without too much information being said during intimate moments. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to post I just don't have a lot of time anymore sadly :(  
> I hoped you enjoyed this.
> 
> have a good day :)  
> -Anri


	43. Marooned (Allura)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the support group meeting, the friends go out to the coffee shop together. While her friends enjoy one another's presence, Allura attempts to cope with being out in the world once again with the constant anxiety and hatred eating away at her.

Everything felt so... weird. From the tingle in her slender fingertips as she gently picked up her coffee to the heaviness dragging her heart down. Allura didn't understand why she was here. She had agreed to a group putting without ever really thinking about how she would feel about being surrounded by so many people at one time.

 

She felt anxious.

 

She felt scared.

 

Most of all, she felt powerless against all the potential what ifs that could happen.

 

She was running on an hour of sleep after unrelenting nightmares keeping her up at night from the news of Lindon's death. When she heard about it, she had collapsed into Coran's arms in tears of joy for she had finally escaped a future of pure evil and suffocating darkness and yet that piece of her, her demon, felt sadness and guilt. 

 

She had taken a life with her own two hands. Something that wouldn't stop replaying in her head as she tossed and turned in her bed, sweat staining the sheets as she cried remembering the moments that led her to such a drastic decision. She didn't want to admit it but holding the power over someone in a situation like that felt so... it felt invigorating.

 

She felt like she could have enjoyed it if she hadn't been so broken up in the moment and that single thought frightened her the most. She explained to the police what had happened to her that night and she didn't quite understand it but Mrs. Lindon refused to press charges or to even get her taken out of the academy she would be returning to on Friday. Mrs. Lindon had taken pity on the girl who had killed her husband, consequently setting her and her child free from the years of abuse they had experienced.

 

"So, you two are just even more gay for each other now?" Pidge asked, pointing his spoon at Keith and Lance who were sitting closer together than they normally would have.

 

Allura didn't care about listening to them, she was too busy staring down at her reflection in the coffee. Have felt as if the young woman staring down at her was a stranger. Her eyes weren't as bright as those surrounding her, her skin seemed almost sickly pale for her color, and her hair was sloppy. She looked as if she had been dragged directly off the streets and dropped into society without a transition.

 

She looked like someone she wouldn't recognize at first glance.

 

"Shut the hell up Pidge," Keith grunted from across Allura.

 

She continued to stare down at her reflection, feeling this thing beginning to boil up inside of her. She had felt it ever since that night, reemerging when she felt over stimulated like now. It was this emotion that made her want to scream and flip over the table and punch something as hard as she could until she tired herself out. It was as if the demon in her shadow had finally burrowed deep into her skin, ripping through layers of muscle and spreading through her circulatory system only to gnaw at her heart hungrily. Its smile no longer existent as its red eyes grew more and more bloodthirsty as it consumed her from the inside out. She slowly lifted her right hand from her warm cup and placed it flat against her chest.

 

Just listening to everyone made her ears ring. She wanted to drop her cup and just press the palms of her hands against the sides of her head but she didn't want to let that demon leeching off of her very essence to win her over so easily. She wanted to keep the sliver of innocence she had managed to keep a grip on. It was like a rose slowly wilting away as time ticked away, a petal falling as it neared its demise.

 

"Gay!" Pidge snorted as he flicked his trash at Keith's head causing him to lift his cane up but Lance stopped the black haired boy before he whacked the freshman over the head.

 

Shiro took a deep breath and gently placed his hand onto Allura's leg snapping her out of her weird trance she had been is as she stared at her reflection. "Pidge, let's just enjoy the fact that they're not trying to rip each other's throats out anymore," He sighed using his other hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

 

Her blue eyes shifted from Shiro and I've to Hunk who was looking at her with concern. "Are you okay?" He asked, his thick brows raised as he sat on the edge of his seat completely ignoring Shay who was rushing around the café helping customers. "You seem off today."

 

Allura remained silent not realizing Hunk was speaking to her until Shiro gently nudged her while the rest of their group bickered with one another. Allura felt a heavy weight press down on her chest slightly as she forced a smile onto her face, "Yeah, I'm just exhausted. I'm not ready to go back to school and babysit the entire student council again..."

 

"Oh yeah," Pidge stopped screeching the word 'gay' and turned toward Allura, "How did that go?"

 

Allura raised her eyebrow in curiosity, "How did what go?"

 

"Your talk with the principal or headmaster or whatever it is you have at that prestigious academy of yours," Pidge replied with a deep sigh.

 

Allura didn't reply right away not because she was trying to choose her words but because she just didn't want to keep lying in front of everyone. She would've said that it went amazingly well but in reality it was horrible. The headmaster had basically told her she was going to be stripped of her after school duties and forced to go to therapy after the incidents that had occurred with Mr. Lindon. She listened as her own headmaster told her that he didn't want the reputation of the academy to plummet due to this inconvenience she had gone through so he was going to pay for her entire hospital bill as hush money. She felt disgusted, she felt like during those moments, allowing her demon trying to nest itself in her heart to gain control was okay. 

 

She had imagined what it would feel like to take that lamp in between her and the headmaster and to just throw it against the wall and listen to the light bulb shatter before she swiped everything off the desk and just punched him in the face. She wanted to see how frightened he was of her.

 

She was afraid that the others would think she was crazy if she told them this but she didn't want to lie. She looked down at her reflection and clenched her jaw before she spoke to them, "Every second felt like torture."

 

Plip plap. Plip plap. Allura turned her attention to the window that kept them separate from the harsh world outside and frowned as raindrops began to fall and paint the cement a darker color. 

 

Lance leaned forward a bit, laughing off Allura's comment as he pointed outside, "Did anyone know it was going to rain today?" He inquired, blue eyes seeming to hold a little more light in them than normal.

 

Hunk nodded, "Actually I brought raincoats for everyone in case this happened!" He then rushed off to the door marked 'Employees only' before he came back with a little bag filled with raincoats. "They're different colors if that's fine."

 

Allura tuned out the world as they all began to grab jackets Hunk had brought for each of them. Shiro got black, lance was blue, Keith had a red one, Pidge was sporting a green one as he made Space Ranger jokes while Hunk wore yellow and Allura slipped on the pink one with Shiro's help before they made their way to the door.

 

Where was she going to go after this? She wanted someone to hold her hand and guide her to the right direction, down the linear path she had created when she was a young child growing up with at least one dream guiding her. Without her creed, she was lost. The raindrops slid off the hooded jacket as she stepped out and angled her face to the sky.

 

She was thing that stood between herself and her creed. It was her choice for where to go from here and yet she was lost. She wanted to scream at the sky, beg it for an answer that she knew would never arrive. She didn't want the demon inside to take over but she also found comfort in it. She knew that with it, she would be safe; it would protect her from harm and yet she was reluctant to let it take over.

 

She was reluctant to give herself the power she had always felt she was denied.

 

She was afraid.

 

Afraid and so terribly alone even as she held hands with someone she held dear to her tainted heart, listening to her friends splash in the puddles and scream obscene words at Keith who couldn't move as quick as the rest.

 

So again, where was she to go from here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allura's character is probably the hardest for me to write aside from Pidge due to the fact I've never had to experience the things the characters go through. Allura will be really out of character from this point on because to be honest, I want to portray a victim the way they really are. If at any moment I get anything wrong, please tell me. I am always open to finding new ways to improve my writing and to be able to accurately portray the things in this story because it matters to you guys.   
> These are serious topics that should be handled correctly so if at any moment you believe I do not type something up correctly, please bring it to my attention. Thank you :)
> 
> Please, have a good day and eat your food and drink plenty of water. Take care of yourselves.  
> -Anri


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